411’s WWE Smackdown Report 12.11.09

12.11.09

> We’re two days away from Tables, Ladders and Chairs so the WWE probably has a good show in store for us. We’ve got a couple of tag matches and a street fight on tap, so let’s get to the recap.

> We are looking live (on tape) at the Toyota Center in Houston, Texas. Todd Grisham welcomes us and discusses the main event, a matchup between Rey Mysterio and Big Dave Batista.

> Speaking of Big Dave, his theme song happened to hit the arena and he’s making the stroll to the ring. We see a graphic for his match with the Undertaker during so.

> He says he’s out for a few reasons. Big Dave lets us know that he did not ask to fight Rey tonight. It was Mysterio’s idea and Batista cannot believe Rey deserves to be in the ring with him. Batista says he’s been getting booed ever since he started his path to the World Title. He doesn’t care because he was born to be the World Heavyweight Champion. Big Dave used Evolution, he didn’t need Rey Mysterio and he doesn’t need the fans. Big Dave asks for a spotlight and the production crew gives it to him. He says he deserves to be in said spotlight.

Big Dave isn’t in the WWE to make friends. He’s there to make money and win titles. Everything about him is designed for a title holder. Dave turns his attention away from the fans and to the Undertaker. Like CM Punk and Chris Jericho said before him, Batista lets us know that the Undertaker isn’t as dominant as everyone makes him out to be. The Undertaker fears Batista says Batista. Batista says his victory at TLC is only a formality. Batista says he’s going to be the World Champion and poses.

> Grisham informs us a tag team match between Luke Gallows, Punk, R-Truth and Matt Hardy is up next.

> You too can look like a champion! Just buy some stuff from WWEShop.com and you’re set. I’d like that Hulk Hogan DVD.

> Grisham welcomes us back from a commercial and wonders if the streetfight will spill outside of the arena. Matt Striker chimes in (for the first time I believe) and reminds us that Wrestlemania 25 was in Houston.

> CM Punk and Luke Gallows bring their straight edge selves out to the ring. Striker recaps the matchup between R-Truth and Punk from last week where Gallows caused a disqualification. Striker calls Gallows’ finisher the 12th Step and the Gallows Poll. I dig these nicknames.

Punk has a microphone and it seems we’re about to learn the ways of Punk. Punk brings out the Jeff Hardy DVD (I guess this won’t be shown in the UK again) and begins bashing the DVD and the owners of the DVD. I’m glad I don’t own one. Punk isn’t shocked by the DVD’s success but he’s dismayed that parents have purchased the DVD for their children. Punk says those parents might as well be stuffing the stockings of their children with magic mushrooms because the video will cause the same hallucinations. Your children will think they can fly! Fans begin to chant for Jeff Hardy. Punk says if you watch the DVD, you’re washed up, good for nothing, unemployed and junky. He stomps on the DVD and then asks Luke Gallows to join in on the fun.

> R-Truth’s music plays and here comes Matt Hardy and R-Truth. Truth says they have a bag of magic and it happens to be filled with Jeff Hardy DVDs. Hardy gives out the POISON to children and CM Punk is disgusted. He implores the fans to not accept the DVD but they don’t follow Punk’s advice. RIP.

R-Truth asks Houston what’s up and Punk says giving out the DVD is the same thing as dealing drugs. R-Truth hits Punk on the head with the mic and he leaves the ring. Gallows and the ref attend to the injured Punk on the outside. Gallows gets in the ring and they set up for the match.

Match One
Matt Hardy and R-Truth v. CM Punk and Luke Gallows

Gallows and R-Truth start the match off. Gallows takes Truth into the corner and Punk tags himself in. Punk attacks Truth in the corner with a kick and takes Truth to the ropes. He asks if he wants to play with him and whips him against the ropes. Truth comes back with a clothesline to Punk. He strikes with another one and delivers a third one to CM Punk that sends the Straight Edge Superstar out of the ring. Commercial break.

We return to see Matt Hardy and R-Truth double-teaming the former world champion. After a double elbow drop, Matt Hardy pins CM Punk and gets two. Hardy picks Punk up, wrenches the arm and tags in Truth. Truth delivers a kick to Punk’s side and adds a slap to the brain for extra damage. He sends Punk to the ropes but Punk replies with a kick to the face. Punk suplexes Truth onto the ropes and tags in Luke Gallows.

Gallows stomps on Truth and picks him up for a backbreaker. Gallows sends Truth into the corner and starts beating on Truth with kicks and punches. Punk asks for a tag and Gallows obliges. Punk continues where Gallows left off until Truth delivers a punch to Punk’s head. Truth attacks Punk with some more strikes and bounces off the rope for an offensive attack. Unfortunately for him, Punk counters it into a powerslam. Pin gets a two count.

Punk locks the head of Truth and takes Killings out with a vertical suplex. Pinfall gets two. Punk locks in a sitting abdominal stretch and punches R-Truth in the process. He tags in Gallows and Gallows starts off with a bear-hug. Truth throws some elbows and weakens Gallows’ grasp. Truth tries to capitalize but Gallows takes him down with a big boot. Gallows takes Truth into the corner and tags in the Straight Edge Savior.

Punk gets in the ring and attacks R-Truth in the stomach area with a kick. Punk delivers a back body drop to Truth and signals the match is almost over. Punk slowly goes to the outside and sets up for his springboard clothesline. He jumps but Truth counters with a dropkick. Ref begins his count and Truth inches towards Matt Hardy. Tag is made and Hardy comes in with a flurry of clotheslines. Hardy sends Punk towards the ropes and transitions a headlock to a slam to the mat. Pinfall gets two.

Hardy sends CM Punk into the corner and attacks the head with several punches. He pulls Punk into a powerbomb. Pinfall gets a two. Hardy climbs the turnbuckle and comes down with a legdrop. He goes for the cover but Gallows is there to break it up. Truth comes flying in with a dropkick that takes Gallows out of the ring. Punk throws Truth out of the ring allowing Matt Hardy to shock him with an attempt at the Twist of Fate. Punk squirms out of it and tries the GTS. Hardy gets out of that and sends Punk to the ropes. Punk inadvertently tagged in Gallows in the process. Punk goes back to Hardy and into a Twist of Fate. Gallows comes in with a big boot to Hardy’s face. The 12th Step (Or Gallows Poll) ends the match.

> Grisham discusses the fluke tag after the match and we see highlights of the ending. Matt Striker’s commentary was really interesting throughout the match as always. He needs to settle on the 12th Step or Gallows Poll though.

> Graphic for a face-off between Drew McIntyre and John Morrison.

> There was a segment here between Teddy Long, Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar but I was having television problems.

> We’re backstage with Kane and his music. Kane walks and finds Mike Knox. Knox says they’re the same. Both monsters who no one understands. Knox enjoys the experience of fighting Kane and would like another go. Kane says they’re nothing alike because Kane is the only monster. He agrees to the fight but only because he enjoyed beating Knox. Knox says Kane is going to be a broken monster but he won’t be alone because Knox is going to ride in the ambulance with him. Kane grasps Knox’s neck and Knox says that deprivation of oxygen through asphyxiation can cause extreme euphoria throughout the body. Kane lets go and leaves in disgust. Knox says he’ll see him in the ring. Grisham said it best. That was awkward but entertaining.

> It must be time for Eric Escobar’s weekly beatdown. He makes his way to the ring and claps hands with the fans, so I’m guessing he’s playing a face now. He’s also smiling. We get video of Escobar’s “apology” from last Friday and the handicap match that accompanied it. We’re heading to a commercial but Grisham lets us know Chris Jericho is Escobar’s opponent before the break.

> Back from the break and the 2008 Superstar of the Year, Chris Jericho, enters the ring. Striker discusses the TLC match scheduled for the TLC PPV and we see video of the handicap match between Jericho and Degeneration X.

Match Two
Eric Escobar v. Chris Jericho

The bell rings and the two talk trash to start off. Jericho slaps Escobar and Escobar responds with a flurry of punches. Escobar whips Jericho to the ropes and brings him down with a kick. Clothesline takes Chris Jericho down. Escobar sends Jericho into the corner and attacks with several kicks. He goes back to the well and attacks with punches this time. Escobar sends Jericho to the opposite corner but gets nailed in the face with a Jericho boot. Jericho runs towards Escobar but Eric Escobar takes him down with a sky-high powerbomb. Pinfall gets a two count.

Escobar clotheslines Chris Jericho out of the ring and prepares to capitalize. He stops when the wonderful Vickie Guerrero’s voice is heard. “Excuse me,” the angelic voice sings. The fans boo and she keeps on doing it. She says she’s here to apologize because she forgot a detail about the match. It’s actually a handicap match. The Big Show‘s music plays and Escobar goes back to Jericho. Pinfall gets a two.

Big Show parks himself in the heel tag corner and Escobar tries to mount some offense on Chris Jericho. He attacks with knees and punches but Jericho replies with a boot to the head. He tags in the Big Show. Shows takes Escobar down with a shoulderblock. He lifts Escobar up and brings him down with a legdrop. Show steps on Escobar and tags in Chris Jericho Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho and Eric Escobar taps immediately.

> Jericho grabs a microphone for himself and addresses the TLC PPV. He guarantees the end of DX and the demise of the DX army. Jericho says TLC is more than the titles. It’s about eradicating Degeneration X. He says the lives of Shawn Michaels and Triple H will be changed forever. Tables, ladders, chairs and the most lethal weapon of them all (The Big Show) will be the end of DX. Jericho gives Show the stick and Show says he wants DX to remember their faces. They are the end of DX, he says before they both leave the ring.

> Drew McIntyre walks backstage. I used to wonder what the “Wrestler Walks Backstage” segment in Extreme Warfare Revenge was but I’ve learned what it is from recapping this show.

> Someone’s party is about to be over because it’s Drew McIntyre time. Grisham and Striker discuss the match between John Morrison and McIntyre at the PPV. McIntyre gets on a mic and wants to know why he isn’t on the cover of WWE Magazine (which focuses on up and coming superstars). John Morrison is on there and McIntyre beat him last week. McIntyre shows us video for proof. After the video, McIntyre puts down the fans for believing in John Morrison. McIntyre says Morrison winning at TLC is as real as the Loch Ness Monster.

This prompts some sort of Scottish music to play. John Morrison comes out in some Braveheart attire. Matt Striker lets us know that he’s dressed up as William Wallace, a Scottish knight that beat up the English army. Morrison pretends to be Wallace in his promo and McIntyre says he looks ridiculous. “Wallace” says the people don’t believe in McIntyre because they can’t understand what he says. McIntyre says Morrison’s joking around will get him hurt. Morrison delivers some verbal jabs and mispronounces laddie. McIntyre corrects him and Morrison said he meant it to sound like lady. Morrison says he’ll retain the IC title and McIntyre demands Morrison stop bashing the Scottish culture. McIntyre dares Morrison to drop the sword and Morrison obliges. Morrison wants to know why McIntyre walks around like he’s the greatest because of Vince McMahon‘s endorsement. Morrison says the only endorsement he needs is of the fans. Morrison attacks McIntyre and they brawl for a bit. McIntyre goes to the outside and they stare down for a bit.

> Pyro goes off, Kane’s music strikes and he walks to the ring. During Mike Knox’s entrance, we see highlights of last week’s match between these two individuals.

Match Three
Kane v. Mike Knox

Knox strikes first with a kick to Kane’s thigh. He pounds on Kane’s head and whips him towards the ropes. Kane reverses the whip and takes Knox out with a big boot. Kane snapmares Knox into sitting position and sets up for a dropkick. Knox rolls out of the ring. Kane tries to pull Knox back in but Knox counters. Knox gets into the ring and Kane tries a chokeslam. Knox elbows out of it and connects with a big boot to Kane’s head. Knox attacks Kane with an ax handle smash and an elbow drop. He then throws several punches at Kane’s head. Kane struggles to the corner and Knox attacks him from behind. Knox works over the cornered Kane until Kane replies with an uppercut. Knox sends Kane into the corner and attacks with a shoulderblock. He takes Kane down with a clothesline and then tries a splash. Kane gets the knees up and then delivers a dropkick. Pinfall gets two.

Kane picks Knox up and sends him into the corner. He follows that up with a clothesline and then a sidewalk slam. Pinfall gets two. Kane climbs the turnbuckle and misses a clothesline. Knox takes Kane out with his crossbody and pins Kane. Two count. Knox tries to do something (couldn’t tell what) but Kane counters it into a chokeslam for the win.

> We get a replay of the DX WWEShop.com vignette from Monday. Not sure why.

> Mickie James and Maria are out next. Striker reminds us of Mickie James’ victory last week to become number one contender to Michelle McCool‘s title. McCool and Layla are still wearing the Piggie James shirts. Matt Striker wants to know if those are going up on WWEShop.com. Striker says he caught Mickie James’ hat and according to him, it smelled like bacon bits.

Match Four
Mickie James and Maria v. Michelle McCool and Layla El

Maria and Michelle McCool start. They grapple with McCool getting the early advantage with an arm wrench. Maria twists her way out of it and sends McCool flying. Maria delivers several kicks to McCool. After the kicks, she runs off the ropes into a Michelle McCool backbreaker. Pinfall gets one.

McCool snapmares Maria down and throws knees to the back. McCool covers Maria and gets a two count McCool tosses Maria aside and throws a punch at Mickie. Mickie tries to get an attack in but it distracts the ref. This allows Layla to come in and the two heels double team Maria. McCool throws an uppercut to Maria and again wrenches the arm. McCool whips Maria into the ropes and tries a backbreaker. It gets countered into a hurricanrana.

Maria tags in Mickie and McCool tags Layla. Mickie James connects with several clotheslines. She throws some punches and sends Layla against the ropes. Layla counters with a hair toss. Layla taunts which allows Mickie James to strike with a body press. Layla tries to attack James but James moves out the way causing Layla to run into McCool. Mickie James rolls Layla up and the pinfall gets three.

> After the ladies talk some trash, we see a graphic for the Batista-Mysterio streetfight.

> Raw rebound.

> After the rebound, we’re met with Grisham and Striker in the center of the ring. They run down the TLC card.

> Rey Mysterio’s music plays and he makes his entrance. I’m kind of surprised they didn’t give him a promo earlier in the show or something. After a commercial break, we get Batista’s entrance.

Match Five
Batista v. Rey Mysterio
Street Fight

The bell rings and Mysterio goes at Batista with a bunch of punches. Batista sends Rey into the corner and misses a clothesline. Rey tries to capitalize but Batista takes him down with a clothesline. Batista lifts Mysterio and slams his head against the turnbuckle. He picks Rey up and sends him into the corner. Batista delivers a big kick to Rey’s head. He tries to pick up Rey again but Rey meets him with several kicks to the head. Rey runs off the ropes but Batista just sends him back to the ground. Pinfall gets a two.

Batista puts his knee against Rey’s head for a while and pins him. Pinfall gets one. Batista does the same thing again but with his arm. Pinfall gets the same results. Batista puts Rey in sitting position and kicks him in the back of the head. Batista picks Rey up and body slams him. Big Dave picks up Mysterio over his head and Rey gets out of Batista’s grasp. Mysterio delivers a quick chop block and kicks Batista in the head. He throws another kick to put Batista in 619 position. Batista goes to the outside to avoid. Mysterio kicks Batista and Batista runs back in the ring, Rey quickly goes to the outside and Batista gives chase. Rey goes back inside and delivers a baseball slide kick to send us to a commercial break.

When we return we see Batista pulling the body of Rey Mysterio on the turnbuckle. Batista grabs a cable and starts whipping Mysterio. After slamming the head of Rey into the announce table, Batista lifts Mysterio and throws him towards the end of the table. He sends Mysterio back into the ring and turns him on his stomach. He locks in a camel clutch. Batista stands over Rey for a while and picks him up again. Batista sends Mysterio to the ropes and Mysterio counters with a kick to the head. Mysterio tries more but Batista takes him down with a vicious clothesline. Batista goes back on the outside and grabs a chair. He puts the chair on the ground and grabs Mysterio. He tries a Batista Bomb but Mysterio punches his way out of it. He goes after Rey but Mysterio responds with a drop toe hold that sends Batista’s head into the chair. Mysterio goes to the outside and nails a springboard senton. He kicks Batista into 619 position and connects with the attack. He nails a splash and covers Batista. Pinfall gets two.

Mysterio grabs the chair and attacks Batista’s leg. He strikes the stomach and then the back. He goes back for more but Batista attacks with a spear. Batista takes Rey out with a Spinebuster then taunts the fans. He grabs the chair and nails Mysterio in the head with it. Pinfall ends the match.

> Batista gets the chair and puts it around Rey’s head. He climbs the turnbuckle but the Undertaker’s Gong strikes. Arena turns dark and when the lights come back on, Taker is in the ring. Taker attacks Batista with a bunch of punches in the corner. He adds in some kicks and then gets the steel chair. Batista scurries out of the ring and the fans boo his decision. The Undertaker poses with the chair and then shares a staredown with Batista. Taker does his death pose and the show ends.

Quick Results
» CM Punk and Luke Gallows def. Matt Hardy and R-Truth (Pinfall, Gallows pinned M. Hardy)
» Chris Jericho and The Big Show def. Eric Escobar (Submission, Jericho submitted Escobar)
» Kane def. Mike Knox (Pinfall)
» Mickie James and Maria def. Michelle McCool and Layla El (Pinfall, James pinned Layla)
» Batista def. Rey Mysterio (Pinfall)