411’s WWE Smackdown Report 6.29.12

It’s…..Time! Welcome, one and all, to Smackdown and the lovely report that can only be provided to you by 411. Ok, sure, it can be found on various other sites, but I assure you that they don’t have me….the man you love to hate, who sometimes oversaturates 411 with columns, recaps and reviews…Tony Acero!! Let’s get to the show, shall we?

We’re welcomed to the show with Cole and Matthews going over AJ’s interruption during the Kane and Bryan match. Booker stands aside while his Twitter and Facebook get hacked.

And of course, the day that I cover Smackdown is the day we start with an AJ match!! Woo hoo!!! It’s against Layla, and it sounds like she’s got some new music.

Match 1: AJ vs. Layla
We start with a handshake between the two ladies, then a lockup into a side headlock take down from Layla. AJ with the head scissors, and Layla twists out of it. Both women up. Another lockup, and this time it’s AJ with the side headlock takedown, but Layla turns it into a pin for 1. AJ smiles it off, and Layla kicks her. Side headlock by Layla. AJ with a right to the gut, sends Layla to the ropes, then Layla hits her with a shoulder. Some rope work turns into Layla hitting an arm drag innto a roll up and a pin for 2. Layla with a knuckle lock on my beloved. AJ reaches for the ropes, but Layla ain’t having it. AJ with some right hands, then sends Layla to the ropes. Drop Toe hold by AJ into a dropkick. Layla is in the corner, and AJ hits a hard elbow into a pin for 1…No. AJ lifts Layla, move gets deflected, and Layla hits the corner for a flying cross body into a pin for 2. Layla with a faceplan into a pin for 2. Layla lifts AJ, and she hits an axe handle, then a kick to the thigh. An attempt at a whip is broken up, Layla hits the ropes and runs right into a spinning heel kick.

AJ is about to lift Layla, but out comes Daniel Bryan to chant Yes! over and over around the ring. AJ doesn’t look happy at all. Here’s Layla with a roll up and one of the greatest views ever. 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Layla (****1/2) -1/2 for the AJ loss. 🙁
Realistically, it got kind of stale in the middle, but that’s because they went the NXT Match Version 2, and it’s obvious that they wanted to protect both ladies.

AJ is NOT happy. She attacks Layla from behind, and gets some rights atop of Layla. She pounds with some left and rights until the ref breaks it up. Her face shows an evil little lady who only wants to kill Daniel Bryan. She looks towards him, now. Bryan tells her to calm down. She’s ready to pounce. Bryan says it’s not fun to be distracted, is it? Unlike AJ, though, Bryan isn’t out here because he craves attention, he’s out here because he has something important to talk about. AJ is about to leave, but he wants her to stay. He says he needs to speak to Vickie, and he’s not leaving till he gets what he wants. No response. He has no choice. He starts another YES chant. AJ takes over the chant, though, and she starts YES-in as we go for a break.

We’re back, and they are YES-ing back and forth. Was this how their sex was? Vickie Guerrero finally makes her way down the ramp in red. She would like to be excused. She doesn’t know what Bryan wants, but she’s sure everyone here is tired of him repeating his same old annoying catchphrase…I see what you did there, Vickie. Bryan needed to make a point, he says. He defeated both Kane and CM Punk in the same match on RAW, making him the NEW #1 Contender and soon to be WWE Champion. He needed to show everyone that both RAW and SD will soon revolve around Bryan. He wants to applaud Vickie for rewarding Bryan for getting him a title match, and this is why he would love for Vickie to run both shows permanently. She can be the GM, he can be the Champ, and they are going to need to work together, hand in hand. He grabs her hand, obviously. Assuming that this happens, he has an idea that he wants her to take to the Board. For his Championship match against CM Punk at MITB, he wants AJ….banned from ringside. Vickie is about to agree, but Bryan calls AJ an unstable liability and is a menace, and he refuses to lose his opportunity because of her.

AJ’s scowl. mmmm. Vickie understands, and she is not a fan of AJ. She tells “little girl” that she didn’t forget what happened on Monday. She is so tired of AJ calling her grandma, and is ready to teach her a lesson right now. Bryan says it’s not about either of the two ladies, it’s about him. Vickie says he is right, but there was a poll this week on WWE.com and they were asking what rule they want to see AJ play in the match against CM Punk. Of the four options (Guest Referee, Guest Timekeeper, Guest Ring Announcer, Guest Time Keeper) and the Board opted to listen to the WWE Universe, making AJ the….GUEST REFEREE by 76%. Vickie can’t believe it. YES! Chant. Vickie kisses the board’s ass and agrees with the board. AJ starts an evil chuckle, then YES’s in Vickie’s face as she makes her way out of the ring. The crowd joins in. Bryan screams that it’s not fair. Bryan starts yelling NO! much to the chagrin of the crowd.

Vickie thanks the board, then moves on saying that over the next two weeks, there will be a series of qualifying matches for the Smackdown Money in the Bank Ladder Match. This match is open to anyone, and the first match is now.

It appears that Damien Sandow has a qualifying match for Money in the Bank. He is here to help all of us, of cours, but to also help his opponent. The WWE ‘s official ambassador of ignorance, mediocrity, and stupidity. When he emerges victorious, he will assure that all of the unwashed masses will soon have a World Champion that will shepard all of us towards the enlightment that we all desperately yearn for.

Match 2: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
Zack Ryder vs. Damien Sandow
Lockup! Side headlock from Ryder, but Sandow sends him to the ropes. Shoulder block from Ryder. Ryder with a flying clothesline into a flapjack and a pin for 2. Sandow rolls to the corner, then kicks the knee out of Ryder. Sandow with some stomps. He then grinds Ryder’s head into the mat. A stomp, followed by a Side Russian Leg-Sweep into the Elbow drop. Full Nelson onto Ryder, and Sandow smashes his head into the corner. Sandow sends Ryder to the ropes, and Ryder with a knee drop! He hits the back elbow, and Sandow runs into a big boot, followed by a missile dropkick and a pin for 1…2…NO! Headbutt from Ryder, but Sandow hits a right. Ryder with a right that drops Sandow. Broski Boot! He’s calling for the Ruff Ryder! He’s up, but Sandow pushes Ryder forward, choking him up on the ropes. Sandow hits his neckbreaker. Pins. 1…2…3!!!!
Winner: Damien Sandow (**)
They are most definitely behind the guy, and it appears with good reason.

Mathews and Cole talk about Charlie Sheen being the Social Media Ambassador. Oh joy.

Backstage, Daniel Bryan is knocking on the door of the Divas Locker room. Out comes Kaitlyn. He tells her that she’s not here. He tells Bryan that he should try and get on AJ’s good side because…Kaitlyn whispers, “she’s a little mentally unstable.” Bryan asks for help, but Kaitlyn leaves.

It’s like they’re tuggin on my heart strings, giving Kidd the jobber entrance. This is a Money in the Bank Qualifying Match.

Match 3: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
Tyson Kidd vs. Jack Swagger
Go Behind by Tyson. Reversed by Swagger. Belly to Back takedown. Swagger up with the hold still, and Tyson rolls it up for a pin, but not even a 1. Tyson with the ropes, and another roll up for 1. Swagger leaves the ring, so Tyson dropkicks him on the outsid.e Swagger rolls in, Tyson ducks under. He goes for the wheelbarrow body scissors, so Swagger hits a modified German Suplex into a pin for 1…2..NO! Swagger withh the kicks in the corner. A HARD arm drag by Swagger into another. Ouch. Swagger with a leg drop onto the arm. Pin for 1…2..NO! Swagger focuses on the left arm with a modified arm bar. Whip from Swagger, he goes for a knee, but Tyson rolls through and pins for 1…2.NO! Swagger sends him in the corner. Body splash into a hard toss. Swagger with the Swagger-bomb. Pin for 1…2…NO! Another arm bar from Swagger, this time with an elbow in the back of the head. Tyson fights out with a right. Tyson with a hard kick. He goes locks the head. He’s up. HARD DDT!! Both men are down. Up at 4. Swagger misses a clothesline and Kidd lays in with the kicks. Roundhouse. Double dropkick to the face. Pin for 2. Kidd with a whip. Reversed. Swagger runs into an elbow. Kidd gets into position on the shoulder of Swagger, but Swagger sends him up and over on his face. Ankle lock! Tyson uses the turnbuckle to climb up and get off of it. Tyson Kidd is up on the top rope!!! Top-rop flipping neckbreaker into a pin for 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Tyson Kidd (***)
Well I’ll be damned…they’re giving Kidd the opportunity. He’s not going to win, but he so totally deserves this. Such a shame, Swagger is the dude he beat.

Swagger is visibly upset. WE get another RAW moment, and like I said before, it seems they play this particular one more than most. It’s the McMahon in the hospital one. I thought I was being odd in pointing it out, but this has got to be the 5th time they’ve shown it, and I haven’t seen any other repeats.

We get a recap of the Contract on a Pole match that meant absolutely nothing because it turned into a Triple Threat. Backstage, Dolph is mad at Vickie saying she’s not using her power. He’s trying to become World Heavyweight Champion. She wants to know what he wants her to do. He wants her to ban the Brogue Kick and Del Rio’s Cross Arm Breaker. Vickie says that will make her look bad. Dolph goes nutso and says this is his freakin life, yo! He’s not asking her, he’s telling her that this is what she needs to do…and she slaps him in the face. Silence. Dolph calms down and asks her to promise that she’ll announce him tonight, and raise his hand when he becomes champion.

The following is a Money in the Bank Qualifying Tag Team Match. Whichever team wins, both members will be in the Money in the Bank match.

Match 4: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
Santino Marella and Christian vs. David Otunga and Cody Rhodes
Santino and Rhodes to start, and I’m immediately torn on who I want to win this. Cody with a hammer lock from behind, and Santino hits an elbow, tosses Rhodes into the corner, and tags in Christian. Christian with a hard right. He tugs the left arm of Rhodes hard. Cody reaches for a tag and Cody hits a hard right. Christian with another. He hits the ropes and runs right into a high knee from Cody. Cody with a stalled front suplex into a pin for 1…2..NO! Cody tags in Otunga, and here comes the man with the tan. Kick to Christian, into a body slam, and a shoulder block to the ground. Pin for 1…2..NO! Otunga steps on the back of Christian, then distract the ref so Cody can kick him. Whip to the corner. Tag to Cody. Cody with a snapmare and arm drag combo. On the ground, we got a chin lock and a leg scissors. This turns into a lock up and Christian gets the advantage, sending Cody to the corner. Cody with a boot up. He is on the second rope and flies right into a right hand fro mChistian. He’s nearby Otunga, though. Tag to Otunga. Tag to Santino. Santino with some rights, splits. Hip Toss. dropping headbutt! He calls for the Cobra. He hits it!!! He goes to cover, but Rhodes pulls Otunga out!! He hits Santino in the right, rolls Otunga back in and tags himself in. Rhodes with a right hand to the face of Santino. Pin for 1…NO! He pins again for 1. He rips the cobra sleeve off of Santino then stomps. Boot to the face. Cody sends Santino to the corner, tags in Otunga. Otunga with some hard rights, then whips Santino to the ropes. Shoulder block. Otunga drops an elbow and pins for 2. Knee to the back of Santino. Chinlock. Santino is finding the strength to stand up and hit a Saito Suplex. He rolls to Christian. Tag.

Christian and Cody are in. Christian with some rights. Cody is in the corner, Christian runs into a right, but is able to hit a flapjack. Christian with a flying uppercut from the top rope! He’s looking for the Killswitch! Cody with a kick. He drops, and hits a right to the chin! Christian on the apron. Cod runs, right into a shoulder. Christian hangs him up. He looks for the Killswitch. No, Cody pushes forward and Christian hits an inverted DDT! Christian calls for the Spear, but there’s Otunga to hold the legs. Tag to Otunga, he gets a right, but it’s on Cody!!! He tries to get back into control by attacking Christian. Santino sends Cody to the outside! Otunga sees and sends Santino to the outside! Spear from Christian!!! Pin for 1….2….3!!!
Winner: Santino Marella and Christian (**1/2)
I’ve never seen Otunga look as good as he did tonight. Not saying he set the world on fire, but he played his role damned well. Good match.

Sheamus is in the back with Matt Striker. He wants to know if Sheamus worried about the upcoming Triple Threat match. Sheamus says there is a chance that he could lose the title, but the risk is out there even after MITB. He doesn’t live his life worrying bout What If’s. What he does know is that Del Rio thinks he’s better than everyone else cuz he’s rich, and Dolph thinks hes’ better than himself just because he’s…Dolph Ziggler. He gets to prove that he’s better than both tonight. He doesn’t worry, he just kicks arse.

In a completely different area of the backstage, AJ is ruminating over her new title, “Special Guest Referee.” Here’s Bryan, who says that he is concerned about AJ’s well being. She attacked Layla, and that’s not like her. He wants to know if she ever considered professional help. AJ is smiling during all of this. It’s awkward, in the hottest way. Bryan wants to know if she wants his number. She says, “Yes…..Yes…..Yes….Yes” She continues the Yes chant down the hall, skipping away.

Match 5: Dan Barone and Brendan Burke vs. Ryback
The jobbers try to put their best Beastie Boys impression before Ryback comes out. One jobber runs into Ryback, and he sends him sky high. Other jobber tries to run out of the ring, and runs into a big boot outside. He pulls black trunks out and sends blue trunks in. Blue trunks with a kick, but to no avail. Ryback with a kick, then a jawbreaker to the other one. Powebomb from Ryback, followed by a clothesline to the other. He’s calling for his finisher. He hits the Samoan Drop and a pin for the 3
Winner: Ryback (1/2*)
I know some people like it, but it’s tedious and boring. We get it, now.

Backstage, Aksana is making out with the “sometimes I’m here, sometimes I’m not” Antonio Cesaro. In comes Teddy Long and he says he has no hard feelings towards Aksana or Antonio. Antonio says thank you, then starts making out with Aksana again. Teddy says that he also wants to inform them that next week, he will be the GM for RAW and Smackdown, and on the LIVE edition of Smackdown’s “Great American Bash,” they will be facing The Great Khali and Layla in a mixed tag team match.

Match 6: Money in the Bank Qualifying Match
Justin Gabriel vs. Tensai (W/ Sakamoto)
Tensai stalks Justin to the corner, and Justin hits some elbows, then a few chops and a kick. He hits the ropes, Tensai misses a clothesline, but hits a shoulderblock, then sends Justin to the outside. Justin is on the apron with a shoulderblock. He is up top and flies right into a throat thrust. Tensai with an elbow drop. Another. He hits some forearms from behind. Double underhook suplex from Tensai, into a pin for 1…2..NO! Tensai with a forearm rub to the forehead. Tensai with a bear hug. Justin tries fighting out with some elbow strikes, and is able to hit a jawbreaker. He jumps into another bear hug, but floats over and tries for a roll up. Tensai stops said roll up though by choking him up, and we get a Baldo Bomb attempt. Gabriel breaks it with a kick, though. Justin hits a few more kicks, Tensai blocks one, but an Enziguri comes his way. Tensai pushes Gabriel into the corner, so Justin uses the ropes to springboard into a dropkick. He’s looking for a lionsault. He hits it and pins for 1…2..NO! Tensai is on one knee. Kicks to the chest, to the back. He flies, right into a Baldo Bomb. Tensai hits the ropes. Splash into a pin for 1…2…3!!!
Winner: Lord Tensai (**)
Mostly Gabriel doing what he can to knock the big man down only for it not to matter shortly thereafter. Fun, but not amazing. Odd choice in Tensai making it to the Money in the Bank, though.

Ok, maybe I was wrong about them repeating the RAW moments, because Triple H shares his return to the WWE after his quad tear again.

Before Del Rio comes out, he berates the crowd and heads to the ring. He says at the end of the night, he’ll be the champ. He is interrupted by Vickie, who has something to say, apparently. Vickie says that tonight, he is not going to win. The crowning jewel of her week is getting to introduce to him the next champion, Dolph Ziggler. And here he comes!!

Due to internet issues, the following is a summary of the match, rather than a play by play, and will thereby not have a star-rating.

Match 7: World Heavyweight Championship Match
Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Sheamus
Sheamus starts fighting both men, immediately, then sends Ziggler over the top rope. Del Rio tries to attack in the corner, but Sheamus is able to reverse a whip, sending Del Rio into the corner. The action spills to the outtside where Sheamus chases Ziggler around the ring only for Del Rio to attack Sheamus. Del Rio gets slammed into the steps by Ziggler before the action gets back into the ring and a pin onto Del Rio by Ziggler is had but only for a two. Sheamus is on the apron only to get knocked off and as he is doing so, Del Rio heads to the corner. Ziggler moves and Del Rio hits his shoulder hard. Ziggler with the strikes and he goes for a Superlex. Del Rio fought out of it, only to be sent to the outside just as Sheamus comes in to back suplex Ziggler. How convenient.

Del Rio comes in just as Sheamus is rising, and hits a dropkick before all three men head outside again. Del Rio and Ziggler attack Sheamus’s head before Ziggler tosses him over the announce booth. Back in the ring, and Del Rio goes for a cover. Dolph breaks the pin, ending their short lived alliance. They begin choppin at each other till Sheamus hits a shoulder block to both from the top rope, then hits a knee to Del Rio and a body slam to Dolph. Sheamus sends Ziggler over the ropes to bang on his chest a bit, and when Del Rio goes for an arm breaker from behind, Sheamus turns it into the Irish Curse! Pin for 2 as Ziggler breaks it up. Ziggler attacks Sheamus, but Sheamus hits the White Noise. He’s getting ready for the Brogue Kick, but here’s Del Rio for the arm breaker. He doesn’t get it, as Sheamus sends him into the corner. Sheamus gets dropkicked on the shoulder, and Del Rio tries for the armbreeaker agian, but Ziggler breaks it up. Sheamus rolls outside just as Ziggler hits a rocker dropper and a pin for 1…2…NO! Ricardo tries to distract, but Ziggler sends Del Rio flying into him and rolls him up for a 1…2…NO!!! Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick to Ziggler while he has Del Rio rolled up. Sheamus sends Del Rio to the outside and pins Ziggler for the 1…2…3!!
Winner: Sheamus

An amazing Smackdown this week.

End Show.