The SD! Highlight Reel 08.11.05

The SD! Highlight Reel
August 11, 2005 A.D.
Taped from: Columbus, OH
Hosts: Michael Cole, Tazz & Friends

We’ve got no time for an intro, as the tonight’s action on SmackDown! kicks off blue-hot with Booker T taking on one half of M.N.M. in one-on-one action!

Match #1: Singles Contest: Booker T w/ Sharmel vs. Joey Mercury w/ Johnny Nitro, Melina Perez & Jillian Hall

Hall chats with Referee Nick Patrick, allowing Nitro to run in for an early cheap shot that is easily countered by Booker T; Patrick cuts his convo off prematurely, and catches Nitro in the ring! GET TO THE BACK!!

Hall joins Nitro in exile, leaving only Perez at ringside, as Mercury whiffs on a clothesline, only to be stuck in the jaw with a wicked sidekick. Booker to the top rope; Mercury punches him off and lands a lariat, which gives way to some mounted punching and a knee drop. Kick to Book’s noggin results in a two count, as Joey moves to a the grounded rear chinlock; Booker elbows out and lands a striking boot to Mercury’s skull. Both men exchange right hands now … Booker with a clothesline! And another! SIDESLAM! 1 ………. 2 ……….. 2.35! SPIN-A-ROONIE@! Mercury whiffs on another lariat ……. BOOKEND#@!! 1 ……… wait, where’s the count?? Melina’s arguing with Patrick! Sharmel runs clear across the ring floor and cleans out Perez …….. AXE KICK$^!! 1 ………….. 2 …………. 3!!!

Later tonight Randy Orton returns to action!!

But for now, it’s the sophomore edition of the program that isn’t sophomoric in the least, the Peep Show!

Christian proclaims his is the “only show by the peeps, for the peeps,” as he introduces the World Heavyweight Champion Batista to the thundering crowd of rabid Ohioans. Dave is sporting an actual tie this time, forsaking his usual arrangement of low-buttoned dress shirt.

Christian kicks his show off speculating why he is currently without a matchup at the all-important impending ‘SummerSlam’ ppv. But he’s the biggest draft pick in the history of SmackDown! No worries, though — Christian will take care of business tonight, so he can rest calmly Sunday August 21, knowing he’s the most talented, most charismatic Superstar in the WWE today ……. by defeating Dave Batista tonight!!

Dave balks at this challenge, but asks the crowd for their opinion on the matter … predictably, they favour the proposed matchup, and we’ve got ourselves a Main Event this evening!

Cole thinks Christian’s got something “wrong in his head.”

Tazz & MC officially name Heidenreich & Animal “LoD” & the “Legion of Doom” for the first time, as they’re in combat ……. now!

Match #2: Tag Team Contest: LoD2005 John Heidenreich & Animal vs. Scotty & Jason S.

The Champs go right at the poor jobbers to start, with Animal slamming Scotty to the canvas and tagging in Heidenreich. M.N.M. look on from backstage, as Heidenreich connects with …… BLACKHOLE SIDESLAM@!! Tag to Animal, who allows Jason to tag in …. Animal whiffs on a lariat, only to no-sell an open-handed chest chop, and clothesline Jason! Scoop Slam readies Jason for the ……… DOOMSDAY DEVICE!%@!! 1 ……… 2 ……………… 3!!

Recap of the Guerrero-Mysterio feud. Eddie calls Anna a “very good friend from the past,” yet she’s his current lawyer. Huh?

Backstage, Theodore R. Long converses on his cellular phone, but is quickly interrupted by Randy Orton — he’s the future of this business, this industry, and he demands the respect from his new and current GM to be informed who his opponent will be tonight. Long indicates that whoever he is he qualifies as not only a “legend,” but also a “legendary opponent of the Undertaker.” And he’s up next!

Match #3: Singles Contest: Randy Orton vs. Kamala w/ Kim Chee

Kamala slaps his belly around a bit, as Randy stares on in perplexed perfidy. Kamala glares for the crowd and stuns Orton with a couple chops, as Randy staggers front, back, and side-to-side; Irsh Whip by Kamala, who whiffs on a clothesline …. Dropkick by Orton! Orton pounds on Kamala’s chest with open-handed chops and cinches in the grounded chinlock. Orton breaks it to haul Kim Chee into the ring ……… RKO@!!! Kamala is up though, and strikes Orton from behind! Irish Whip by Orton …… side kick by Kamala! Big Splash! ……. 1 ……….. 2 ………….. 2.76!! Kamala now looks after Kim Chee, who tells him to worry about Orton instead …….. Kamala charges Orton in the SE corner ………. DODGE! RKO@!!! 1 ……………

*BLACKOUT*

Smoke inundates the ring, as ‘RIP’ emanates over the Titantron, and we’ve got ourselves a Sportz Entertainment Finish.

Backstage, a young blonde from “Child & Family Services” is IN THE BUILDING to ensure that Dominik’s best interests are served in tonight’s proceedings; Eddie claims that that must lie with him, since all Dominik’s life is right now is just that — a lie.

Eddie & the Blonde now hit the ring, as Cole is not impressed with Eddie’s attempts to “be father of the year. I hope this social worker sees through Eddie’s charade tonight.”

Messr. Guerrero gets on the stick now, as the crowd rejoices in a hearty rendition of “EDDIE SUCKS!” Eddie introduces the following as Chapter III of his bedtime story, and names the heretofore nameless blonde, Miss Crabtree. She takes copious notes as he speaks on his hopes to bring little Dominik back to a home “full of compassion; and most of all, honesty & truth.” Eddie now calls out Rey and his wife Angie, hoping for them to bring Dominik along, and Rey looks like such a raving ignoramus in that danged mask in this type of situation.

Cole interjects to comment that Eddie didn’t get the blonde’s name right, so perhaps she is not “Miss Crabtree” after all. Anyhow, Eddie informs Dominik he may now “come to Daddy. Do you see what they are doing? They’re corrupting him with lies! I am his father! It’s only right that Dominik comes home to me.”

Sidebar, Dominik has his face firmly planted betwixt his mother’s breasts at this point.

Eddie now asks Miss Crabtree (?) to do her job, and give him his son ………. right now. ………….. NOW!!!

Rey interrupts now, telling Eddie that there are no winners and losers in the mess these gentlemen are currently entangled in; Dominik hasn’t even spoken for 2 weeks! Eddie counters by saying that Rey should follow his son’s example and shut his mouth as well! Rey comes back by saying he’s proud of Eddie for beating his addictions, as well as all the obstacles he’s faced in his life. Well, all except one ….. Rey Mysterio!! “There’s two things you can never lie about; two things you can never cheat about; two things you can never steal from me: the love of my son, and a victory for Rey Mysterio!”

Eddie beseeches Rey to end this charade now and give Dominik up; Rey balks, countering that Eddie could never beat him in the ring, and he shan’t in a court of law either. Moreover, if he were to take Dominik from him, Rey would straight-up refuse to wrestle Eddie ever again!

Eddie is livid, stating the only thing Dominik knows is that he’s so-called “father” lies! Rey doesn’t buy that at all, retorting instead that the only thing Dominik knows is that Eddie Guerrero is a chicken-[*bleep*]. These guys talk about the poor kid like he’s *NOT* standing 3 feet away.

Rey now challenges Eddie for one more match; one more match …… for the custody of Dominik! At SummerSlam! “Unless, of course, you’re a chicken-[*bleep*].”

Crabtree interjects at this point, “YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF CRAZIES! It’s obvious the conflict is between both of you, and until you can resolve your differences, Dominik must go into foster care. Dominik, I’m sorry. Please come with me now.”

Crabtree heel turn!!! SCORE!

Rey promises the poor kid that he’ll bring him home soon; Eddie now kneels down to the child, and asks him to say one last good-bye to “Uncle Rey & Aunt Angie. Be strong Dominik!”

What did the poor kid ever do to deserve being in this storyline?

Match #4: Tag Team Contest: The Mexicools Psychosis & Super Crazy w/ Juventud Guerrera vs. Scotty 2 Hotty & William Regal

Crazy & Scotty start it out; arm drag by Super fells Scotty momentarily, although he gets up quickly and hits Crazy with a shoulder block and a pair of hip tosses; arm drag by Scotty grounds Super Crazy, although he picks him right back up; Crazy now gets hit with a toekick to the face, although Psychosis spills 2 Hotty out the ring, where he gets beaten down by Psychosis & Juvy. Crazy now tags in Psychosis, who comes in with a springboard legdrop. Tag back to Crazy who refuses to allow Scotty to tag in to Regal ……. Charge in the NE corner …… dodge! Hotty crawling over to Regal ……… can ……. He …………. Make …………….. the ……….. REGAL JUMPS OFF THE APRON! NO TAG FOR YOU LAD!! Psychosis now plants Scotty and goes up high …… HUGE Leg drop!! 1 …………. 2 ………………… 3!!!

Anglo-Mexican Alliance!@!!

Backstage Angie & Rey have a good crying session.

Elsewhere Jorge asks Jillian Hall her thoughts concerning her ejection from tonight’s earlier matchup. She catches him glancing at her facial blemish, though, and tells him to get lost. Furthermore, she has a challenge for Book …….. he and Sharmel vs. Mercury & Melina!!

Hall now deigns to define her role with M.N.M., casting herself as their “problem fixer.” Issuing the above challenge is just one step toward ‘fixing’ the problems that have seemingly rocked the successful tag team since its inception.

Sounds like the female Tyson Tomko.

WWE executiveschoose to inundate us with a replay of John Cena’s new ‘I wanna be just like Tupac’ music video, Right Now.

Match #5: Singles Contest: Chris Benoit vs. Simon Dean

Dean doesn’t see Benoit as the “Rabid Wolverine,” but rather the “Flabby Wolverine!”

Benoit doesn’t take to the rhetoric well, chopping and kneeing Dean all over the ring, leading the poor guy to cower in the SW corner; running elbow by Benoit stuns Dean some more, before moving him back to the SW corner, where he thrusts his shoulder into Dean’s chest …. Dean counters! Hard lariat for 2! Knee Drop by Dean now leads into a grounded front facelock, which Benoit elbows out of …… GERMAN! ANOTHER! GERMAN #3!! GERMA …. No! CROSS-FACE@!! Will ….. he ……….. DEAN TAPS! Dean taps!!

Match #6: Non-Title MAIN EVENT Singles Contest: Heavyweight Champion of the World Dave Batista vs. Captain Charisma Christian

Christian chats to Dave a bit, who’s not much for the talk himself, instead holding Christian in the cinch position, until deciding to shove the Captain back into the ropes. Christian fakes Dave out now, running to his back and grabbing a side headlock …… Dave picks him up, however, placing Charisma in the NW corner; Dave now rams Christians head into the NE turnbuckle to a count of 10 ….. Christian up, however, running the ropes, Sunset Fl ….. no, Dave powers up ….. back body drop by Dave sends Christian to the floor! Right forearm sends Christian sprawling across the ring floor as the action spills back into the ring; Batista whiffs on a blind charge to the NW corner; Christian tosses him back into the turnbuckle shoulder first! Left arm wringer by Christian and he goes up top ……. MISSILE DROPKICK!! 1 ………2 …………. 2.34!! First legitimate count landed by the Captain! Charisma locks in a left arm bar, though Dave tosses him out … Christian lands on the apron, however, and goes up top the SE turnbuckle …….. Dave follows him up! SUPER BACK BODY DROP by Dave!! DAVE SLAMS Christian into the NW corner … numerous shoulder thrusts sap the wind out of Christian’s belly …. BIG Sideslam by Dave …… SPINEBUSSTAA@!! ……… …………… JBL is here!! JBL is in the building!! CHAIRSHOT to Dave knocks him unconscious!! Referee Brian Hebner rings the bell, but Layfield CRACKS him again! AND AGAIN to the back of Dave!!! JBL measures him …….. CHAIR THWACCKK!! #4 sends Batista back down to the canvas, LIGHTS OUT.

Layfield now flashes the Cabinet ‘Double-C’ as Cole reminds us that all the proceeding will be LEGAL at SummerSlam.

The only legitimate logic to follow is have Christian do the run-in screw job at SS.