wrestling / Columns
Wrestling’s 4Rs: The Right, Wrong and Ridiculous of WWE Raw
How the 4Rs of wRestling Work!
Here is a quick explanation of the 4R’s. The column will run TWO times a week. We will group our feelings on the shows in various categories: The Right, the wRong and the Ridiculous. The Right is stuff that worked very well: a great promo, a great match and so on. PuRgatoRy is a section between the right and wrong. It shows equal traits from both sides that cannot be ignored and needs discussed. It is not a bad place per say, as things can get remedied or go the wrong way the very next week. The wRong is what it sounds like: bad matches, bad or boring promos and so on. The Ridiculous is stuff that had no right on TV: Stupid angles and so on. And there is always a possibility of a 5th R, which is as bad as they come. This column is supposed to be analytical, and at the right time very critical of the shows, it was the whole reason it was created. This is not a “mark” column, nor a “smark” column, our goal is to analyze the show from many different fronts, reward the good and call out the bad. We will not apologize for our opinions, they are as they are, whether positive or negative.
By: Jack Stevenson
Raw 4.13.15:
QUICK MATCH RESULTS:
* John Cena d. Bad News Barrett
* Paige d. seven other humans in a Divas Battle Royal
* The Lucha Dragons d. The Ascension
* Randy Orton d. Cesaro via DQ and then Cesaro/Kidd via pinfall
* Dean Ambrose d. Adam Rose
* Stardust d. Fandango
* Seth Rollins d. Kane
* Damian Sandow d. The Miz
* Ryback d. Luke Harper
* Dolph Ziggler d. Neville
THE RIGHT:
Another Roman Reigns/Big Show confrontation: No, honestly, this was good. Roman Reigns even cut a pretty fun promo, live in the middle of the ring. I’m not lying. He was confident and charismatic and I liked his line about how he still had more punches to throw at Lesnar if Rollins hadn’t interfered in their WrestleMania match. The promo deteriorated a bit when he turned his attention to Big Show on the titantron, as the insults became more childish, but the final moments of the segment, in which Show choke-slammed his foe on top of a taxicab, were really cool. It was an unusual image and made this feel different from all the other Reigns-Show segments we’ve sat through. I still wish these guys were doing almost literally anything else, but it felt like a bit more effort was put in than usual this week and I appreciate that.
Fandango turns face: We all are allowed to like Fandango now! After a defeat to Stardust, he essentially said “fuck it, going forward I shall dance for your entertainment,” and then proceeded to merrily finger point and pelvic thrust away to the glee of the London fans. It was a nice if somewhat random moment for the remnants of the Fandango fanbase, most of whom seem to live in England. This is a much better character change than the one that turned him into a boring Flamenco dancer, and should solidify his position in the midcard shuffle for a fair while to come.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Neville: Some properly great things occurred in this, although they didn’t quite add up to a properly great segment on the whole. Neville’s picture perfect 450 Splash off the guardrail was a jaw dropping feat of athleticism, I don’t recall seeing a better version of that move performed off turnbuckles, which are much more conducive to crazy aerial feats. Not to be outdone without a fight, Ziggler landed a DDT on Neville that was so nasty looking none other than Steve Austin singled it out for praise. Michael Cole, meanwhile, referred to the 282,442 citizens of the city of Newcastle as a “small mining community.” I guess by American standards that’s not a noteworthily huge number, but it made me laugh. This was very much a Raw match and so didn’t get quite the room to breathe it would have done on a PPV or an NXT special, but it was still a really worthwhile effort and a tantalizing teaser of what these guys could still achieve.
puRgatoRy:
John Cena vs. Bad News Barrett: This was another solid edition of the John Cena U.S. Open, but I don’t think it was quite good enough to overcome the booking inanity of having Bad News Barrett, challenger for the Intercontinental Championship in a fortnight at Extreme Rules, lose clean as anything to a man holding a belt that has equivalent value. If Barrett wins at the PPV (which is a distinct possibility with Daniel Bryan apparently experiencing more injury woes) it makes the title picture just seem random, like guys randomly receive these supposedly prestigious prizes regardless of wins or losses or talent. Still, it was an enjoyable match, even though the near falls felt fairly perfunctory- Attitude Adjustment! Kick-out! Bullhammer! Kick-out! Another Attitude Adjustment! Three count! Wade’s offense looked really good, I liked the barrage of knees in the ropes followed up with the Cactus Elbow on the floor, it made him seem this relentless, bam bam bam bam sort of wrestler. So, yeah, an enjoyable match, somewhat marred by some weird decision making with BNB’s defeat. Rusev attacked post match to set up a Russian Chain match at Extreme Rules, which promises to be not even slightly similar to Roddy Piper and Greg Valentine’s Dog Collar match, the match all those kind of matches should aim to emulate.
Divas Battle Royal: Naomi’s is no longer the blandly likeable ‘O’ to Jimmy’s ‘uce,’ a woman who is always cheerful as long as she receives plenty of opportunities to remind us that she has a bottom. Now, she is all mean and angry, having attacked Paige post match for winning the Battle Royal and taking a title shot that, in fairness, Naomi had earned several times over. This switch in tone from the wannabe champion feels rather abrupt, but she’s got more than enough talent to be a success in her division and if this gives her more chance to prove it, it’s not a bad move. The post match promo from Paige that Naomi interrupted was passionate and excellent, the match that preceded it, not so much.
The Lucha Dragons vs. The Ascension: Another decent showing from the Lucha Dragons, although again not on the level of the eight man tag from a couple of weeks ago, which on reflection I reckon was the best Raw match of the year so far. Vince McMahon apparently really likes them and I am pleased about that, in the long term Kalisto can absolutely fill the inordinately large hole Rey Mysterio has left, and in the short term he and Sin Cara will be fine stand-ins for the Usos.
Dean Ambrose vs. Adam Rose: A brief squash to help re-assert Ambrose’s credentials after a year that has been filled with high profile defeats for the Lunatic Fringe. A sensible match, but nothing special.
Ryback vs. Luke Harper: For two minutes they did stuff and it all lead to Ambrose chasing Harper into the crowd. They will probably have some really good matches together but Ryback deserves more than just to be an ignored bystander.
THE wRong:
Randy Orton vs. The Tag Team Champions: I am no fan of Randy Orton beating the tag team champions single handedly and I am no fan of WWE teasing us with excellent sounding bouts like ‘Orton vs. Cesaro’ and ‘Orton vs. Kidd,’ and then using said bouts as conduits for shit Authority angles. Randy was inexplicably allowed by the Authority to choose his own stipulation for his match against Authority golden child Seth Rollins if he beat Cesaro, but once the Viper had seen off the Swiss Superman via DQ, Kane saw the flaws in this plan. So he decided to pit Orton against both Cesaro and Kidd! With the stipulation still in tack. And Orton won in straightforward fashion and chose a Steel Cage match. It makes no sense because it is so ill thought out and lazy. For the record, Seth Rollins beat Kane himself later on in the show, ensuring he could also contribution a stipulation to the bout. He chose to ban the RKO! What would have happened if he’d chosen a Scaffold Match? Would Orton and Rollins have wrestled next week on Raw to decide whose stipulation was best, thus rendering this week’s events entirely pointless? Probably.
Kane vs. Seth Rollins: Ah yes, about that Kane-Rollins match! As you might expect, it wasn’t a conventional singles outing, as Rollins demanded the Director of Operations allowed himself to get pinned. The Big Red Monster eventually did so, but not before delivering a huge chokeslam to his most annoying ally. It’s good that they’re trying to do something different with Kane but I just think his mere presence has become unbearably stale and there’s not much they can do to change that. It’s not like with the Big Show where he’s showing signs of life, some flashes of genuine GSOH and the occasional decent match- Kane just drags everything down with him at this point. He’s been better than he has been in a while these last two weeks as an exasperated authority figure, but it was very hard to care whether he’d choose to lie down for Rollins or beat him up because it wouldn’t lead anywhere interesting.
The Miz vs. Damian Sandow: This feud continues to hemorrhage all the things that made it interesting. Sandow pinned Miz in a bland match by holding the tight. They are now two guys that just hold each other’s tights.
THE Ridiculous:
NOTHING
I quite liked this week’s show although I can’t figure out precisely why. There weren’t any great angles or matches, outside of Ziggler-Neville. It was a breezy watch though, and the product still has enough of the post Wrestlemania buzz about it to feel a little more fresh and exciting than it actually is. I wasn’t bored at all, and often that’s all you can ask for from a TV show.
Show Rating: 5.5
As a reminder, I will be going by the 411 scale…
0 – 0.9: Torture
1 – 1.9: Extremely Horrendous
2 – 2.9: Very Bad
3 – 3.9: Bad
4 – 4.9: Poor
5 – 5.9: Not So Good
6 – 6.9: Average
7 – 7.9: Good
8 – 8.9:Very Good
9 – 9.9: Amazing
10: Virtually Perfect
VINTAGE RKO
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