411’s TNA Destination X Report: 03.15.09

Right into the action after another kick-ass video package!

Angelina Love, Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne vs. Roxxi, Taylor Wilde and “The Governor”

DAT AZZ CUBED are out, and once again I am indebted to the cameraman. Next come the “plucky faces” complete with the pants-suited Governor. Is she seriously going to wrestle in that shit? Mi Pi Sexy seem to be asking the same thing.

Sky and Wilde to start, but Sky wants The Governor. Sky starts with a boot to the gut, throws Governor to the corner and hits some shoulders. Tag to Love, a snap mare and kick by Sky followed by a basement dropkick by Love. 2 count only. Love drops an elbow but gets nothing but mat, and Governor tags Roxxi. Forearms by Roxxi, scoop slam and she tags in Wilde. They work a double team wheelbarrow splash for 2, and Wilde tags Roxxi again. Roxxi comes in with a double axe handle to the arm and cinches up the armbar. Love with a forearm and a whip into Rayne’s knee, and Mi Pi Sexy have control after a Love clothesline. Stomps by Love and a tag to Rayne. Whip reversed Roxxi tries a tilt a whirl but Rayne turns it into a crossbody. Rayne taunts Wilde and the heels choke Roxxi in their corner. Cover by Rayne gets 2. Tag to Sky who applies an OCTOPUS. Sign in the front row: “Botchamania 71 = This Match” If that isn’t Maffew, he’s a happy man right now. Roxxi escapes the Octopus and kicks Sky in the jaw for fun. Tag to Wilde but the ref didn’t see it, and once again we have a 3-on-1 beating in the heel corner. It would almost be worth the bruises. Love charges Roxxi but she avoids the contact and hits a sitout spinebuster! Both ladies are down, tag to Rayne and TAG TO WILDE! Clothesline for Rayne! For Sky! For Love! Yes, Wilde is a house~! En~! FUEGO~! Jumping knee for Rayne! Dropkick for Sky! Backbreaker for Love! Slam for Rayne! Wilde goes up top, high crossbody to Rayne gets two. All 6 ladies are in! The heels get thrown outside, Roxxi goes on all fours, Cook has an orgasm and Governor leaps off her back (badly) to the outside into Love and Sky! Enziguiri by Rayne to Roxxi! Palm Strike by Wilde! SWANK German with a bridge gets 3!

Winners: Roxxi, Taylor Wilde and The Governor via pinfall (Wilde on Rayne, bridging German)
Rating: **3/4 Better than I feared. Sky looked better than she had been looking and everyone did what they were supposed to do. Oddly, the only match in which that Botchamania sign did not apply

Lauren is with Jarrett and Foley. Jarrett has his ref’s shirt on. They say a whole lot of nothing and hype the main event.

BONUS MATCH time? Brutus Magnus is out with a mic, possibly to issue another open challenge. Is this where we get El Dandy? I wonder if Ax and Smash know that Magnus is cutting their old ring gear in half for his outfit. Random sailor comes out to announce the opponent for Magnus, which is always nice to see. The opponent is…

Open challenge: Brutus Magnus vs Eric Young

Magnus attacks before the bell with some stiff shots. See, Young should not lose here after being put over by Sting, but then neither should Magnus. Ah well. Flying back elbow by Magnus, Eric escapes a back suplex and hits a deep armdrag, a drop kick, an inverted atomic and a flying forearm for 2. I miss Heenan calling that El Paso de Salsa. Whip to the corner reversed, Young avoids the charge and…almost dies as Magnus drops him on the attempted Kevin von Erich crossbody. NICE powerslam to follow up though and he gets 2. Stomps and a choke by Magnus followed by MONSTER HEEL NERVE HOLD OF DOOM. Young escapes but rins into a high knee. Hogan legdrop by Magnus gets 2. Powerbomb (almost botched) by Magnus, who goes up top and misses the big splash. Damn he got high and far on that, impressive. Young ducks a clothesline and hits a back body drop. He gets him up and HITS the DVD! 1…2…2.81! Whip and Young does the Flair bump, runs the apron and goes up top! Magnus follows, gets pushed off and a flying elbow gets 2.88 for Young! Sloppy jacknife by Magnus is reversed into a backslide by Young for 2. Double leg and pin by Magnus with his feet in the ropes! 2 only. They’re trying, they really are. Young up top again but ghets crotched by Magnus. European uppercut to Young while he is on the top, Magnus goes up…Super Tormentum! The cover, the count, the win!

Winner: Brutus Magnus via pinfall (super Tormentum)
Rating: * I only ranked it this high because you can tell that Magnus has all the potential in the world. Unfortunately in this match he messed up far more than showed up. Young did everything he could, but he couldn’t make platinum from pig shit.

Sheik Abdul Bashir is out? They have 8 FREAKING MATCHES scheduled! Welcome to the special 3-hour Sunday edition of Impact. Bashir basically plays the race card and wants to know why he isn’t on the card. Cornette is out to say it’s not because of race or anything except that nobody likes Bashir. They don’t like him because he’s a “big obnoxious jerk”. Whoa, easy there Jimmy! Keep it rated G! Cornette evicts Bashir, and gets the random sailor dude to perform the eviction. Wait, no, he’s going to get him to sing God Bless America. Badly. Oh God. Hey sailor dude…

Thank you.

JB is in the MEM locker room where Angle is being all paranoid. I STILL want one of those MEM tracksuits. I don’t think they make them in “really fucking fat” size though. Nobody wants anything to do with Angle, especially not Steiner who looks a hell of a lot like Hogan tonight.

10,000 Thumbtacks Match: Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

Morgan attacks from behind to start and retains control with boots and punches. Abyss ducks a clothesline and tries a comeback but Abyss eats a knee and some boots. Morgan charges into a clothesline but stays on his feet and whips Abyss to the corner, then takes him over the top with a clothesline of his own. Abyss grabs Morgan’s feet and crotches him around the ringpost! There are two big trays covered in tacks at ringside, Abyss sets one up in front of the entry stage and then carries the second back. Meanwhile, Morgan is chilling out maxin’ relaxin’ all cool. Abyss is back and tries to whip Morgan, reversed and Abyss goes to the rail. Morgan rolls him inside and goes for a cover. What, no covers? Avalanche by Morgan and a scoop slam. Apparently the only way to win is to put your opponent into the tacks. Morgan climbs the ropes and retrieves a bag of tacks from a pole (more tacks?) and spreads them on the mat. Well actually he just pours them into a pile and tries to drive Abyss face-first into said pile. Abyss fights it off but gets headbutted. Morgan charges but gets goozled! Morgan fights it off, hits the ropes and Abyss ducks the clothesline and levels Morgan with one of his own. Whip, avalanche and Psycho Clam Bake by Abyss! Abyss is now climbing another pole for yet more tacks. What, the ones already down weren’t good enough? He waits for Morgan to get up and plays to the crowd, which allows Morgan to hit the Carbon Footprint. That looked really awkward and scripted. Morgan gets a chair and tries to whip Abyss into it in the corner, countered but Morgan stops himself, floats over and DAMN lands on a low blow from Abyss. Abyss shoves Morgan head-first into the chair in the corner! Abyss goes to open the second bag of tacks and adds them to the first. So does putting him into that win the match or does it have to be the bed? Abyss goes for a powerbomb, Morgan escapes and runs the ropes right into a Black Hole Slam! Abyss has a THIRD bag and…it’s glass! Cue up the Annie Lennox! Morgan flees up the ramp, Abyss chases and attacks from behind. Morgan is reeling on the edge of the ramp, goozle by Abyss but LOW BLOW by Morgan counters! Morgan NAILS a carbon footprint and Abyss flies off the stage into the tacks! Wait, that’s it???

Winner: Matt Morgan via tacking (Carbon footprint off the ramp into tack bed)
Rating: *½ No no no no no. This was not good at all. They took their Impact match from Thursday and added tacks. The rules fo the match meant we were only going to get one tack bump, and the one we got looked really tame. This is not what I expected from a match that I thought could be the sleeper of the night. Boo-urns.

Booker and Sharmell are arguing with Cornette that the Legends title should not be up for grabs because Booker signed the contract under duress. Whatever.

Oh God. The ODB Contest Finals are up next. Holy fuck she’s wearing a powder blue dress. JB is hosting, because this wasn’t going to be hard enough to watch as it is. We are introduced to ODB’s drummer Crusty, which I thought was…never mind. Some jokes are beneath even me. Apparently she has narrowed it down to three finalists: Cody Deaner who is from the same town as Lynyrd Skynrd and looks like a cross between Joe Dirt and a raccoon; Shark Boy, who is Shark Boy; and Bernie Weber, a mortgage broker from New Mexico. He old, he ain’t gonna win. Or lose, whichever way you want to look at it. They’re doing it like the Dating Game? This is going to fail so hard. They make some bad jokes. And if I am calling them bad, they’re horrible. ODB wants a dance-off and JB says it will be a “regulation” dance off. WTF is this shit? Weber makes a fool out of himself, but SHARK BOY saves the whole night with a dance featuring ODB, Norman Smiley, Black Machismo, Curry Man and a Spinaroonie. Win. Deaner apparently forgot to take his ritalin this morning. I’d just like to point out that this could have been done next Thursday. She chooses Deaner and West speaks for everyone when he says “Lord please don’t let these two have children!” Amen.

Lauren is with Beer! Money! They cut a good but long promo on Team 3D. Standard.

TNA Knockouts Title Match: Awesome Kong © vs. Sojourner Bolt

Bolt is actually kind of hot. At this point I am contractually obliged to remind you that…

Kong overpowers Bolt to start and pastes her in the corner, tires an early BACKFIST but Bolt ducks under and hits 2 quick dropkicks. Kong whips Bolt in, she completely flubs the floatover and Kong ends up standing around while Bolt figures out how to climb ropes and jump off them. Bolt tries a charge but Kong kills her dead with a clothesline. See? Told you. HUGE beale by Kong. She chokes Bolt on the ropes then applies a sleeper. Kong spins Bolt around with the sleeper and drops her! Kong charges, Bolt moves and gets a running knee but runs into a solid wall of Kong. Chokeslam by Kong gets 1 with the one-foot cover. Scoop slam by Kong, she goes to the second rope but misses the splash. One day, she might hit that. Bolt goes for a magistral and gets 2. Jacknife pin gets 2 more. Saeed tries to get involved, Bolt kicks her off and then low-bridges a charging Kong! Bolt tries to jump off the apron to the outside but Kong hits her in the gut and rolls her back in. Bolt catches Kong coming in with a couple of elbows, then a double axehandle from the second rope! Second rope again, Bolt with the rana…NO! AWESOME BOMB~! Say goodnight, Bolt.

Winner: Awesome Kong via pinfall (bitch-killing)
Rating: ** Another match with a botch. This is not a pretty night for TNA.

Video package for Joe-Steiner

Scott Steiner vs. Samoa Joe

ZOMG JOE IS BALD! And he’s wearing pants! And he ate someone! Joe charges the ring and attacks Steiner viciously with two nasty kicks, and some mounted punches. Steiner is already bleeding, probably because he still had his chain mail on when Joe attacked. EXPLODER by Joe and more mounted punches! Joe chases the ref giving Steiner time to recover, and he hits a Flatliner on Joe. Steiner gets the lead pipe but Joe cuts him off! STIFF kneelifts to the head of Steiner! Joe CRACKS Steiner with the pipe! He chucks a couple of refs around and the match is over.

Winn.. Forearm suicida by Joe! Joe takes Steiner into the crowd and starts introducing Steiner’s head to various hard objects.

Winner: Scott Steiner via disqualification (lead pipe shot)
Rating: DUD If I had time and energy, I would tell you everything that is WRONG with this. I get they were trying to put over Joe’s new vicious style, but not on a PPV, huh?

AJ cuts a promo on Booker, saying it’s time for him to fight his own battles. We get the obligatory video package which includes the “Beat him like a bidet” line? How exactly does one beat a bidet?

TNA Legends Title Match: Booker T © vs. AJ Styles

Honestly, all the shit to this point is worth it to watch an AJ match and Ultimate X. I hope. Can we get a match without a botch, please? Booker is out with a confident grin, which doesn’t bode well for the finish of this one.

Booker gets control of the arm early, AJ rolls out and reverses. Hammerlock reversed by Booker, then into a front facelock by Styles. Booker backs him to the corner and lays in a knee and some chops. AJ turns it around and hits some chops of his own. Booker with a kick to the gut to regain control and a series of knees followed by a clothesline. Booker with another kick, he runs the ropes and eats that BEAUTIFUL AJ dropkick. Booker rolls to the outside, AJ makes as if to fly over the top but lands on the apron as Booker moves away. Flying forearm off the apron by AJ! Picture-perfect. AJ rolls him back in and gets a quick 2 count. Side backbreaker gets 2 more. Suplex blocked by Booker, AJ blocks Booker’s try, they exchange a couple of counters and Booker gets control with a stun gun and a spin kick. 2 count for Booker, who applies a top wristlock. Booker looking good tonight. AJ gets to his feet and tries a Samoan drop to escape (HE’S NOT EVEN SAMOAN!) but Booker holds on to the wristlock. Nice. AJ gets up again and turns into the hold, making it an armbar. Shots to the kidney by AJ, so Booker just kicks him in the jaw. Nice guy. Whip, Booker charges into an AJ boot. A pair of clotheslines for AJ, whip and a corner forearm by AJ, then a hammerlock back suplex for 2! Haven’t seen that in ages. AJ with the whip, he charges but Booker floats over PERFECTLY into a sunset flip, AJ rolls through and holds on, trying to get Booker into Styles Clash position! Booker kicks his way out and tries a Book End, AJ blocks it, Booker ducks the clothesline and then feeds AJ a pair of incisors with a superkick! 1…2…no! Short-arm clothesline misses, AJ goes behindtries a full nelson but changes his mind and hits a German for 2. Shots in the corner by AJ, he charges at Booker but gets lifted up and over to the apron. Slingshot clothesline countered by a Booker spin kick! Wow. SPINAROONIE! Axe kick missed, PELE! He missed it, but they sold it anyway. STYLES CLASH! 1…2…3!

Winner and NEW TNA Legends Champion: AJ Styles via pinfall (Styles Clash)
Rating: *** Thank God, a match that worked. Booker every now and then shows flashes of 8 years ago, and reminds us he didn’t always look lazy. Then again, 2.5 of those 3 are down to AJ. If you could clone him and have him fight himself, TNA would rule.

Tenay says something is happening outside with Joe and Steiner. Joe is covered in dirt and his tribal knife has blood on it. Joe says he scarred Steiner and that the MEM will be next, one by one. Fuck this angle and fuck TNA. A babyface who attcks people with a knife…why not? WWE has one who uses a sledgehammer.

TNA Tag Team Title Off The Wagon Challenge Match: Beer Money © vs. Team 3D

3D are out with the IWGP belts, but it does not matter. Why? Because the Boozer Cruiser has STEER HORNS!

Roode and Devon exchange armlocks to start, Roode with the takedown and he rides Devon amateur-style. They lock up, waistlock takedown by Devon. Roode gets control and they exchange some shots, Devon wins the exchange and tags Ray. Roode takes HIM down and walks on his back, then tags Storm whose left leg is mummified. He has shingles, says Da Meltz. Storm ducks the lockup and stings Ray with a jab, then poses. Ray backs Storm into a corner and teases a cheap shot, but Storm actually hits a cheap shot and teases 3D some more. There is definitely something wrong with Storm, hence the shenanigans. He asks for a test of strength and Ray does the hand-switching thing and turns it into a dance! Storm tries a clothesline, Ray ducks and hits a neckbreake. Tag to Devon and they hit a double-team flapjack. Storm lands badly, he really seems out of sorts. Roode in, he gets hip tossed. Sidewinder by Team 3D gets 2. Slam to Storm, Devon is up top for the headbutt but Roode shoves him off! Clothesline to the back of Ray’s head by Storm and a tag to Roode. Here it comes…DOUBLE SUPLEX! BEER~! MONEY~! Devon eats a dropkick from Roode for 2. Tag to Storm who hits a kneedrop for 2, then tags back to Roode. Double whip, Devon ducks the clothesline and takes both mean out with a leaping double clothesline. Tag to Ray! Shots everywhere! Backdrop for Roode! Hip toss for Storm! Avalanche to both men in the corner and…oh dear. They do the unfortunate position spot again. BIG uranage by Ray get two on Roode. Storm tries to break it with an elbow but Ray moves. Dusty bionic elbow! AKEEM HAND JIVE!!! Roode with a kick and a blockbuster from the second rope gets 2. Love that move. Double whip, Ray catches both men coming in and goes up top, but Roode holds his leg to allow Storm to catch him…top rope rana!!! Top rope splash by Roode! 1…2…2.7789!!! If Storm really is out of sorts that rana was even more impressive.Beer Money come off the ropes, Devon trips Storm and Roode gets caught in the Bubba Bomb! 1…2…2.9023! Storm tries the beer spit but he catches Roode! Back suplex necbreaker by 3D!!! 1…2…2.9468! They set for the 3D…oh FUCK YOU TNA! Storm in with a chair! That’s the DQ!

Winners: WAIT! Cornette is out, he restarts the match as a No DQ! 3D attack Beer Money on the outside as they argue. They roll Storm in, 3D!!! Ray has the cowboy hat on! 1…2…NO! Roode pulls the referee out of the ring! He pulls Storm out and takes him to the back! West gives them their tag titles and the ref counts them out. Oh yes this is so much better than the DQ. Why can’t Cornette restart it again?

Winners: Team 3D via countout. And before someone says it, it was the NWA titles that changed hands on a DQ.
Rating: ** The match itself was fine. It’s the stupid booking that pisses me off. This Off the Wagon thing paints them into a corner in matches like this, and although some of the action was worth watching twice, especially the near falls…that finish will piss me off for days.

We get thoughts from the Ultimate X competitors. Father preserve me in this match.

TNA X-Division Title Ultimate X Match: Alex Shelley © vs. Chris Sabin vs. Suicide vs. Black Machismo vs. Consequences Creed

Sabin and Shelley come out together, which annoys me because the champ should come out last. Suicide has the most tasteless entrance and pose since…actually, ever. Sabin and Shelley go straight for Suicide while Lethal and Creed go for the belt. The Guns stop that plan. Suicide gets caught with a ridiculously high dropkick sending him to the floor. They then turn their attention to Creed and stand on his nuts while he hangs in the tree of woe. Poor bastard. Forearms to Lethal, low dropkicks to Creed and the Guns are in charge. Sabin plays guard as Shelley goes after the belt, but Suicide blindsides Sabin and stops Shelley. Shelley to the floor, Lethal attacks Suicide with jabs and a hiptoss, he carthweels and goes for the low dropkick, Suicide has it scouted and moces. Whip,Lethal hits the handspring back elbow out of nowhere. Codebreaker by Shelley on Lethal, kick to the gut and a Sliced Bread is countered. Whip by Lethal to Shelley, dropkick in the corner. Lethal runs the ropes again but Shelley catches him with a clothesline and a flatliner into the turnbuckle. Creed stops Shelley from climbing and throws him from the top to the floor. Whip to Creed by Sabin, charge and a flying back elbow. Sabin climbs and leaps to the X, but Creed hauls him down. Creed flips over a back body drop and hits an enziguiri. A Sabin kneelift gets him back on top, he elevates Creed and hits a spinning neckbreaker with Creed horizontal over the top rope. Suicide back in with an elbow for Sabin followed by a trip and a running knee in the corner. Knee lifts by Suicide but he runs into a Shelley boot. Shelley slides to the outside into Lethal, who moves and hits a superkick. Lethal goes inside and tries a slingshot crossbody, but Shelley sidesteps and drives Lethal face-first to the floor. Shelley climbs the ropes to go back in, Sabin hits a SUICIDE DIVE BETWEEN THE LEGS OF SHELLEY TO THE OUTSIDE! Awesome timing. Shelley poses but Suicide knocks him to the outside. Suicide charges but Shelley gets a stiff high kick and ctaches Suicide between the ropes, right into the head. Stunner over the top rope by Shelley on Suicide! Creed dropkicks Shelley, who was sitting on the apron, square in the back while Lethal and Sabin duke it out. Creed goes up but Suicide cuts him off and lifts him into the DVD position on the apron. All 4 other guys are in position…No way! NO! HOLY FUCKERY FUCKSTICK MCFUCKADOODY! (Thanks Guest 5905!) FINLAY ROLL OFF THE APRON TO THE OUTSIDE! I have NEVER seen anything close to that before! Incredible. Suicide is in the ring alone, he’s on the X but Lethal picks him off with a dropkick! Now Creed is on the X, Lethal stares at him and the moment of indecision allows the Guns to come in on the attack. Lethal Consequences take control, springboard double bulldog by Creed to the Guns! Suicide is taking advantage of the distraction and is on the X, but again Lethal pulls him down. Lethal Combination! Lehtal and Creed stand alone, Lethal gives Creed a boost to the X! That looked amazing. Face-first back suplex by Shelley to Lethal, Sabin SPEARS CREED OFF THE BACK OF SHELLEY! Jesus! Yes Orlando, that WAS awesome. The Guns climb the same corner, Lethal crotches Sabin and Shelley frog splashes Creed but catches nothing but knee. Suicide stands alone again, he goes up but Creed cuts him off this time. Sabin goes to the corner and sets for an electric chair on Creed…I smell a Tower of Doom! Lethal in the powerbomb position on Sabin! Here it comes…SUICIDE HOLDS ON TO THE X! Great spot! He’s crawling across but gets twisted in the rope, Lethal goes up after him and POWERBOMBS HIM off the X!!! Everyone is dead. Lethal is first up, Sabin stops him with a spin kick to the gut and the Guns hit a double team kick to the head on Lethal. Creed charges in and hits Shelley with a forearm sending him to the floor! He tries the rolling clothesline but Sabin ducks and hits a German! Lethalk gets waistlocked, he blocks the German and Sabin gets a dropkick from Suicide. Basement dropkick to Suicide by Lethal! SHELLEY with a frog splash on Suicide! Face-first powerbomb on Shelley by Lethal! HUGE tornado DDT by Sabin on Lethal! Pumphandle face-first slam by Creed! Brainbuster to Creed by…I have no idea. I am lost. Everyo0ne is dead. Shelley climbs, Lethal stops him on the top rope and sets for a superplex, SABIN comes flying into the picture with a waistlock on the top…RELEASE GERMAN! Shelley gets caught by Suicide, who gets taken down by Creed. Creed has Shelley now, and Sabin comes AGAIN to his rescue…assisted super Sliced Bread! Oh I’m sorry, Made in Detroit. Suicide gets a kick from Sabin, Cradle Shock try countered and Suicide with a knee lift. Modified face plant by Suicide, who then drops Shelley across the top rope. He charges and Shelley moves and then tries the climb. Both Suicide and Shelley are climbing the scaffold, Shelley wraps Suicide’s leg into the scaffold! Creed grabs Shelley from behind….TOP ROPE TKO!!! Lethal and Creed are both going for it, now Sabin is there and we have 3 men around the X! WHAT THE FUCK SUICIDE IS ON TOP OF THE FUCKING SCAFFOLD! HOLY MOTHER OF MERCY NO! He leaps off the scaffold, lands ON TOP OF THE FUCKING BELT, knocking off the other men and grabbing the belt for the win!!!!

Only one man can adequately describe that.

He crazy!

Thanks Ollie. Now this!

Winner, and NEW X-Division champion: Suicide via retrieval
Rating: **** Settle down smarks. This was a scintillating match to be sure, but it was a spotfest. Great to watch, but never deserving of the full boat. I loves this match and it was easily match of the night, but you can’t overrate these things or the true classics get cheapened.

It’s going to take a while for the intros to the main event, which will allow everyone to calm down from Ultimate X.

TNA World Title Match: Sting © vs. Kurt Angle – With Jeff Jarrett as Special Referee and Mick Foley as Special Enforcer

Packages for each guy, entrances for Jarrett and Foley…13 minutes later and we’re off.

They start off with typical posturing. Angle gains the first meaningful control with a go-behind and forearms. Boots in the corner and a whip by Angle, and he charges into Sting’s foot. Sting with a choke in the corner but Angle comes back with kicks to the knee. Angle comes off the ropes but Sting stops him cold and knocks him to the outside. Angle threatens Foley who is doing nothing. Seriously, Jarrett as ref looks even more like Shane Sewell than before. They go to lock up again but Angle wityh the gut shot takes control. European uppercut and a whip, Sting holds the ropes and backdrops Kurt up and over to the floor! Sting goes out with him and thows Angle to the railing on opposite sides of the arena, gut first. Oh dammit, here we go into the crowd. Well, it was a short excursion as Sting just threw him into a wall and then back into the ring. 10-count punches by Sting in the corner, Jarrett does nothing. Angle goes to the eyes then hits a back suplex. Stiff kicks to the ribs by Angle and a suplex gets 2. Count seemed even by Jarrett. Angle with a chinlock, Sting stands up and fights out. He runs the ropes, Angle grabs him and tries a belly to belly. Sting fights it but it’s like sex with Kobe Bryant…you can try to fight it, but it’s going to happen. It’s going to happen. He gets 2 off the suplex, then hits a backbreaker for 2 more. Chinlock/body scissors combo by Angle. Sting fights out again, both men duck attacks and both men hit a crossbody and go down. Both up at 6, xchange of shots won by Angle as he kicks Sting in the gut. Kurt goes off the ropes and Sting forgot to clothesline him, but Angle went down anyway. Gah. Choke in the corner by Sting, a whip and a series of clotheslines. Another whip and a Stinger splash, followed by a suplex for 2. Angle up suddenly with a kick and an Angle Slam try, countered to a lucha armdrag by Sting! Damn! NICE powerbomb by Sting. 1…2…2.899! Sting goes for the Deathdrop but Angle turns into the ankle lock! Sting counters, but Angle gets the German! He holds on and gets a second, then a third after a delay! 1…2…2.9006! The crowd don’t care, Ultimate X sapped them. Angle Slam countered again, Stinger Splash but Angle moves…ANGLE SLAM! 1…2…No! Angle is frustrated, he goes up top…AMAZING moonsault! 1…2…2.932! German! Angle holds on, Sting turns it into the Deathdrop! 1…2…NO!!! This is really good, they are slowly bringing the crowd back into it. Both men up at 7, Angle charges but Sting ducks and Jarrett eats the clothesline! Leg sweep and Deathlock applied by Sting! Foley is checking on Jarrett, who has to sell the clothesline like death because a striped shirt makes you into a fragile wimp. Angle is tapping but nobody sees it! Sting lets go of the hold and thinks he’s won, but sees Jarrett is down and checks on him…ANGLE SLAM! Foley makes the count…1…2…No! Jarrett is still down, Angle low-blows Foley! Angle has a chair…Foley blocks it! He goes to hit Angle, he moves and Foley hits Sting! Angle Slam to Foley! Angle covers Sting, Jarrett counts! 1…2…2.977! Angle is pissed at Jarrett, he pulls down the straps and spits at him! STING IS UP! Angle hits Jarrett! DEATHDROP! 1…2…3! HUH???

Winner: Sting via pinfall (Deathdrop)
Rating: ***¼ This was far better than I expected. Lots of near falls and they brought the crowd back into it after the idiocy of putting it right after Ultimate X. Should have thrown the Kong match in between. The finish was always going to be a cluster, but would it kill them to turn Jarrett? It makes perfect sense!

Foley and Jarrett pose with Sting as we go off the air.