The Wrestling Doctor 01.20.09: Reload – Starrcade 91

THE WRESTLING DOCTOR

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A QUICK ROYAL RUMBLE PREVIEW

Before I went on break, I ended 2008 with predictions for 2009, some of which I need to change. It looks more and more like Edge will regain the WWE Title (with Christian returning) from Jeff Hardy. Edge & Christian vs. The Hardys will go down at No Way Out, with Matt turning on Jeff to set up a match at Wrestlemania. On the Raw side, I have to feel that Shawn Michaels will somehow be involved in the Wrestlemania main event. His character has been razor sharp for over a year, and the current angle with JBL and John Cena reeks of pay dirt.

THIS WEEK’S PATIENT: RELOADING STARRCADE 91

On December 16 I introduced reloads of wrestling cards, re-booking some of the weaker shows of the past. It seemed to get a decent response, so I am taking reader suggestions under advisement and continuing the series.

The most suggested reload was (not surprisingly) for The Great American Bash 1991. I am going to take my time getting to that one; you do not go from learning how to remove an in-grown toenail to brain surgery without anything in between. GAB 91 will need a total tear down that requires substantial planning (how unlike WCW).

As a refresher, my main criteria for a reload are that:
• The show was considerably disappointing if not outright horrendous.
• Changing the show, even significantly, would not radically alter wresting history. (For example, I would not rebook Survivor Series 1997 because of the Montreal Screwjob, but I would work over Super Brawl 93.) A truly mediocre show does not have any major long-term impact.
• The show has to re-booked within the context of its time. For example, Wrestlemania IX could not be re-loaded with an Attitude Era feel.

The Essential Starrcade DVD collection was finally released last week, and during the documentary Jim Ross discusses how WCW never committed to developing their Battle Bowl concept. That got me thinking that Battle Bowl would be a great thing to reload in hopes of giving the idea more of a chance.

The common view of Starrcade 91 is that it should have been a standard show instead of a gimmick-based card. WCW got red hot in November 1991 with the introduction of the Dangerous Alliance, and many well-orchestrated feuds emerged as a result. However, re-booking Starrcade 91 as a regular show would strip away the build of many of those angles going into one of WCW’s greatest triumphs, Superbrawl 92. Many angles that made the second Superbrawl great – such as Rick Rude / Ricky Steamboat, Anderson & Eaton / The Steiners, and Brian Pillman / Jushin Liger – were still nascent in December 91. The next two months were critical in building up those feuds, so I do not want to disturb gestation time. I am going to stick to the Lethal Lottery / Battle Bowl format for the 1991 edition of Starrcade, but I want to avoid the legendary error of that event by determining the pairings in advance instead of relying upon an actual random draw.

I am not going to run through the actual Starrcade 91 card – you can find the results on a variety of sites – but as a quick Lethal Lottery / Battle Bowl rules review, forty participants were randomly paired into ten tag team matches in the Lethal Lottery. The tag matches had 15-minute time limits. The winning ten teams then participated in a two-ring battle royal (Battle Bowl) under standard two ring rules, with eliminations from ring 1 moving into ring 2, and then to the floor. The surviving wrestlers in ring 1 and ring 2 faced off one-on-one with an over-the-top elimination determining the winner.

For the reloaded Starrcade 91 I am cutting the Lethal Lottery total from 40 to 32 participants (as WCW did in 1993) in order to produce eight mostly decent matches instead of ten mediocre ones. Cutting eight participants helps trim the fat that covered the WCW roster in 1991, such as P.N. News, Bill Kazmeier, The Patriots, and Buddy Lee Parker (sorry, Sarge fans). Other notable omissions include Mr. Hughes, who had an established role as Lex Luger’s bodyguard and whose involvement in the show was unnecessary; and Diamond Dallas Page, who was just beginning his wrestling career and was not very good. Barry Windham was still out injured, and Kevin Nash was in between Oz and Vinnie Vegas.

I am also not typing BattleBowl. That spelling is just ignorant, no matter what WCW reprographics produced.

I would drop the glittery curtain and crooked WCW letters for a Starrcade backdrop with the Battle Bowl / Lethal Lottery logo. WCW had better stage set-ups before Starrcade 91, so they could have done a quality job at their premiere event.

Missy Hyatt’s 1991 headband and giant 1986 hair definitely stay. So do the dude with the frizzy mullet and Metallica shirt, the white-trash stache guy waving the yellow towel during Sting’s offense in the final moments of the battle royal, and the people who brought a baby to Starrcade. (Who brings a baby to wrestling? The kid probably slept with ease considering how dead the audience was, but come on…)

I am working closely with the structure of the original card, modifying some parings from the 1991 show to produce a more cohesive product. In addition to the matches, I have also reassigned match times. The original card had a few seconds over two hours of wrestling (it is amazing how much match action can fit into a PPV once backstage chatter and skits are cut out). I will cut that total down a little to make this show more bearable. Have ring introductions done with entrance music. Some pre- and post-match interviews from significant participants could break up the monotony.

Here is my Lethal Lottery.

• Brian Pillman & Jushin Liger over Steve Armstrong & Arachnaman (14:02)
Liger had won the Cruiserweight belt from Pillman in the Atlanta Omni four nights earlier. Arachnaman was Brad Armstrong, so pairing him with his younger brother would be a nice inside move. All four of these guys could work a great, fast-paced match in order to kick off the PPV right and get the crowd excited. The original Starrcade 91 failed to do that, and the Norfolk Scope was like a crypt for most of the night. Liger pins Steve with the moonsault.

• Rick Rude & Steve Austin over Big Josh & Van Hammer (9:56)
This match is the only one from the original line-up that I am retaining. It was a little World Wideish, but Rude and Austin had to advance. Josh and Hammer are as good as anyone else to send to the slaughter. Cut out a few minutes of filler from the original and this match could be okay. Rude gets the win with the Rude Awakening on Hammer.

• Dustin Rhodes & Big Van Vader over Terrence Taylor & El Gigante (6:54)
Rhodes had been pushed all year and currently held the tag titles with Steamboat. Vader was mainly competing in Japan, and WCW had yet to use him in any meaningful way – but pitting him against El Gigante was intriguing at the time (and a preview of the upcoming New Japan Tokyo Dome show). WCW was beginning to realize that Gigante was going nowhere, so his role here is to battle Vader a little, stand on the apron a lot, and beat up his heel partner at the end, setting up the win for Rhodes. Taylor had the skills to work what would essentially be a handicap match while simultaneously antagonizing and cowering from Gigante, just as Larry Zbysko did on the original show.

• Lex Luger & Arn Anderson over Z-Man & Diamond Stud (10:25)
The WCW Champ and Double A revive their Horseman history over two guys who feuded throughout the summer. The outcome of this match would never be in doubt, but Zenk could still work. Hall was not quite in his Razor Ramon shape, but he could carry the load. DDP manages the Stud. Luger pins Zenk following the pile driver.

• Sting & Scott Steiner over Rick Steiner & Bobby Eaton (14:11)
No potential match-up was more discussed before the first Lethal Lottery than Steiner vs. Steiner – by both the wrestling rags and the announcers on WCW programming. Failing to deliver that match-up was a huge mistake. The Steiners need to have several high-impact moments throughout in order to deliver the pay day. Adding WCW’s biggest face into the match solidifies this bout as the match of the night and reminds fans of the 1991 WCW MOTY, Sting & Luger vs. The Steiners at Superbrawl. I would love to send all five members of the Dangerous Alliance to the Battle Bowl stage, but this match needs a fourth solid worker to carry it through. Eaton is just that worker, particularly in a tag team format. Sting scores the pin on Beautiful Bobby after a closthesline off the top, as in their original Lethal Lottery match. One ramification of this bout would be killing off the Steiners vs. Vader & Mr. Hughes mini-feud that started at the original Starrcade 91 and ended in January at Clash of the Champions XVIII, but that loss is not major. The Steiners could have crushed the York Foundation at that event, while Vader remained in singles competition in preparation for his run against Sting.

• Ricky Steamboat & Larry Zbysko over Johnny B. Badd & Richard Morton (11:48)
Steamboat and Rhodes had won the tag titles from Anderson and Zbysko at the November Clash of Champions. Steamboat was in the main feud with The Dangerous Alliance, to which The Living Legend belonged, so the stage is set for a tense partnership. I originally wanted to pair Morton with Eaton just for the novelty, but I could not make that tandem work on this show. Morton was slowing down at this point, and Badd was still very green. Steamboat can carry anyone, however, so all would be well. Steamboat pins Morton with the flying bodypress from the top.

• Marcus Alexander Bagwell & Michael Hayes over Tracey Smothers & Jimmy Garvin (10:54)
This match is a variation on the opening bout of the original show, with Hayes being on the winning team here instead of Garvin. The Freebirds were not doing much at this point in 1991, in between their feuds with The Enforcers and Taylor / Valentine, so pitting them against each other sparks a little interest. The future Buff Bagwell was new to WCW and very raw, but they were keen on pushing him (maybe his mamma wouldn’t stop calling until they did). Smothers could always work a good match, which is key here. Bagwell gets the pin on Smothers with the fisherman’s suplex.

• Ron Simmons & Cactus Jack over Thomas Rich & Abdullah the Butcher (8:05)
Simmons had just returned from injury and had no direction – despite headlining Halloween Havoc against Luger – so this match will help jump-start his early 1992 feud with Jack and Abby. Jack and the Butcher make this match exciting by brawling all over the building after a few minutes of traditional tag action, leaving Simmons and Rich to face off in the ring. Rich is here to job to Simmons while Jack and Abby make things interesting.

So the 1991 Battle Bowl participants are: Arn Anderson, Steve Austin, Marcus Alexander Bagwell, Cactus Jack, Michael Hayes, Jushin Liger, Lex Luger, Brian Pillman, Dustin Rhodes, Rick Rude, Ron Simmons, Ricky Steamboat, Scott Steiner, Sting, Big Van Vader, and Larry Zbysko.

Now here is the challenge: what to make Battle Bowl?

The two-ring battle royal did not cut it as anything special. The delivery had a lot to do with the failure of the concept. The wrestlers did not appear to understand the rules, as many kept throwing guys out of ring 1 to the floor instead of into ring 2. Vader, in particular, seemed to have no idea as to two the match should go as he took Ricky Steamboat to the ramp about five times. Camera coverage was also difficult when two rings were involved; two mini-windows were introduced late in the battle royal, but those still created confusion with both the audience and the announcers.

An easy solution would be what WCW did after 1991, and that is make Battle Bowl a traditional, single-ring battle royal. That idea is fine, but it is nothing special. It does not stand out as a unique concept that separates itself from other wrestling events.

The column goes interactive at this point. I am throwing out a few ideas that would make Battle Bowl a unique and significant match fitting to cap off an entire card, and would like readers to vote on which one you think would be the best option. Other suggestions are always welcome.

Option 1: The first option would apply the random concept to Battle Bowl as well as the Lethal Lottery. Run Battle Bowl in a gauntlet match format, with the randomly paired teams from the Lethal Lottery entering together. The battle royal will be every-man-for-himself, but the entry will be by the teams generated by the Lethal Lottery. Two teams begin the battle royal, and another team enters after one of the current participants is eliminated over the top rope. So four guys start off, and another team is called down once three guys remain. The battle royal grows from there. The entry into Battle Bowl is, of course, random, and the teams created in the Lethal Lottery take on an additional importance.

Option 2: The second option would be similar to the first – a graduated battle royal with wrestlers entering in their Lethal Lottery teams – but entry would be on a set frame, such as one team every 90 seconds. The timed format is limited in that it would draw comparisons to the Royal Rumble (even though everyone seems to forget that it was Jim Crockett Promotions that introduced the timed entry concept onto the national scene through War Games six months before the first Rumble).

Option 3: The third option would revive the WCW three-tiered cage – the “Tower of Doom” – and incorporate it into the battle royal. All of the entrants would enter the bottom cage at the same time, with the win going to the first man who is able to climb up through the second and third cages and escape back down to the floor. The downside here is that cage battle royals pretty much suck, but a race up and back down could be very exciting.

So those are the options. Any way it works out, the story of Battle Bowl is The Dangerous Alliance working with Lex Luger against the faces. In the end it boils down to Luger, Sting, Rude, and Steamboat. Sting overcomes the odds and Luger to win. Rude somehow takes out Steamboat. Sting vs. Luger and Rude vs. Steamboat are tapped for Superbrawl 92. The final match delivers the big confrontations between top names. The fans have reason to cheer, and the Lethal Lottery / Battle Bowl concept debuts with far more success than it had under WCW’s original approach.