Can They Be Champ? 04.27.08: Backlash Predictions: Winners and Stars

Well, I had an interesting week. I got to meet Jerry Lynn. He was wrestling a local show, a show for a company my friend is wrestling for (Youngstown, Ohio based CWE). Actually, the whole show was in honor of my friend’s tag team partner’s wife, who passed away a few months ago. The whole event was awesome and very entertaining.

Anyways, Jerry Lynn was there, and I was hoping I would get a chance to meet to him. Well, during an intermission, I walk into the bathroom and immediately came face to face with him, completely decked out in his wrestling attire. I’m sure he was able to see I was a bit caught off guard, so he was kind enough to say hi to me. We exchanged a few pleasantries, and then he headed for the urinal. Well, I had business to do too, but I didn’t really feel right pissing right next to Jerry Lynn, so I went into a stall. Midway through doing my business, I suddenly spot Jerry’s face poking above the stall door.

“Whoops, sorry man. Just doing my chin ups.”

“That’s okay, Jerry. You do whatever you have to do.”

It was definitely an interesting meeting. Afterwards he wrestled, put on a fun match with the CWE champion, and was even kind enough to come back out at the end of the evening with the rest of the locker room to celebrate when Allen (my friend’s tag team partner, whose wife the show was a tribute to) won the main event match. Again, it was a touching, good time.

You know, I also met Sign Guy in a bathroom once. There’s something with me bathrooms. Also, Fridays. the restaurant, not the day of the week. I met Michael Hayes there after a local house show. I actually just sat at the table he was sitting in last night. I chuckled to myself thinking about his current suspension.

Hey, this is fun. Maybe instead of posting real columns, I should just be a self-indulgent blogger.

That was a joke. After the break, I’m going to go into some Backlash predictions. Not only will I predict the winner, but I’m going to go ahead and predict how good each match will be. Yes, finally someone who’s willing to hand out the star ratings before the match.

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12-Diva Tag Team Match

What, you actually want me to tell you who the participants are? Does it really matter? Fine, have it your way.

Mickie James, Maria, Ashley, Michelle McCool, Cherry, and Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix, Melina, Jillian, Lalya, Victoria, and Natalya.

Geez, are they leaving anyone from the women’s division out of this match? I have some issues with this match. I think that Mickie James beating Beth Phoenix for Women’s Title should have happened here. Instead it happened on Raw, which once again belittles the value of the belt. Well, then why not have the rematch at Backlash? This time we can have Mickie beat Beth even more cleanly, erasing any doubt that her victory was a fluke. But no, instead we get this giant cluster-fuck of a match. God, there will be more silicon in that ring than… I don’t know, a place with a lot of computers. Microsoft, let’s say.

Now, if the few women who know what they’re doing dominate the match, and the clueless ones stay away, this match may not be horrible. But I have a feeling that everyone is going to get their turn. Considering how short these types of matches are, I think each women will only wrestle for about 30 seconds.

Let’s say the heel team wins, so that we can lead up to a real Mickie/Phoenix rematch. By the way, I really, really hate it when the line between heel and face is drawn so blatantly. All faces are friends with faces, and heels with heels. It’s dumb, it retards character development, and it isn’t remotely realistic.

This match is the likely candidate for Trash of the Night. I’m going to predict ½*.

Batista vs. Shawn Michaels /w Special Guest Referee, Chris Jericho

Now, this is what I’m talking about. Just because Batista and HBK are technically faces, it doesn’t mean that they can’t have disagreements, conflicts, grudges, and other reasons to want to beat the crap out of each other.

The build for this match has been great. On an emotional level, the match already works. I’m sure that emotion will be carried into the ring. It’s good to see Batista having something interesting to do again. Batista, when put in there with the right opponent, can work a good match. It’s been said before, but Batista’s biggest problem has to do with his lack of motivation when he’s in a less than high-profile match. Considering that he’s wrestling with Shawn Michaels, I think he’s going to have plenty of motivation.

The question mark here is Y2J. Why was he made the special guest referee? Is he going to screw someone over? A lot of people think we’re going to see a Jericho heel turn here. Personally, I hope that it doesn’t come at the expense of the match, but I wouldn’t doubt it.

The safe prediction is that Jericho somehow will screw HBK out of the pin, and helps give the win to Batista. I suppose this will lead to a triple threat for Judgment Day, maybe. I wish they had something better to do for Jericho than insert him into random feuds that don’t really need his help.

I think this will be one of those matches where we see each man try to keep things at the pace they want. It should lead to some good stuff, but the match will probably not go as long as we would like, and the Jericho heel turn may tarnish things. Let’s go with a *** prediction.

ECW Champion Kane vs. Chavo Guerrero

Let’s get the prediction out of the way. Kane is going to retain. I don’t see what the point of burying Chavo at WrestleMania was if they’re just going to give the belt back to him only a month later. This match is just here to help Kane get over as the champion, and probably to prove that he didn’t just win with a trick.

Reports have been saying that these two have been putting on very good matches at house shows. Not seeing these matches myself, it’s hard to say if I agree. But both men are solid workers, and I think each will be motivated to put on a strong match here for the PPV. If given enough time, this could be *** . But let’s go ahead and assume it won’t be given enough time, and predict **1/2.

WWE Champion Randy Orton vs. JBL vs. Cena vs. HHH

It’s the tried and true Backlash formula. Just take the WM main event, add another participant or two, and there’s your Backlash main event! It is cool to see that this will be elimination rules. Of course, I hoe there will be a decent amount of time between eliminations.

I think it’s safe to say Orton will make it to the final two. Most people would think JBL would be knocked out first, but I think as an effort to make JBL look a bit more legitimate, he’ll also go to the final two. Obviously, Orton beats JBL, and retains his belt, but JBL will now have a vase for a one vs. one match for Judgment Day. Cena and HHH meanwhile, will cost each other this match in one way or another, setting up their own one on one match for Judgment Day.

The elimination rules should makes this one engaging. The only thing that is going to hurt this match, at least for me, is my stubborn opinion that Orton has no chance of losing here. Let’s say ***1/2.

US Champion MVP vs. Matt Hardy

It’s a shame this match couldn’t have happened sooner, back when the feud was a bit hotter. Still, here we are, and I think it’s finally time to give the US belt to Matt. Since his return, he’s been received well by the fans, and really needs the belt to help push him further along as a singles competitor.

Hardy and MVP have had good matches before, so this should be no different. These two are clearly used to each other’s styles, and they mesh well. And I think they’ll put even a little more effort into this one, since this will be the title change. Again, the only thing that will hurt it will be a lack of time. Still, if they’re reasonable, this could get at least most of the time it need. I’ll go with ***.

Big Show vs. The Great Khali

Well, here’s the obligatory big man vs. big man match. You can’ have two of those walking around for long without this sort of thing happening. The feud has been pretty standard stuff. They are both clearly bad at each other, and have a knack for interrupting the other during matches. Conflict!

It’s the Great Khali, so I’m not expecting much. This will be slow, and probably very painful. At least I feel better knowing that there’s no way Khali is going over here. Hopefully Big Show can get into an interesting wrestling feud after this. *

World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker vs. Edge

These two had a great match at WrestleMania, and they can easily learn from the few mistakes they made there to put on an even better match here. My biggest worry is that, with this not being the usual gimmick match that one would have in the blow off match in a feud with the Undertaker, this match will end with some sort of screwy DQ. That really is the safe bet here. Edge looks to be losing, so the Rmy comes out and beats down Taker. A sure sign that this is coming will be if the match is not placed at the end of the card.

Hopefully the match, up to that point, will make up for the possibly screwy ending. This could be another **** affair. With a screwy ending, it would go down to ***1/2.

Well, that’s the whole PPV. Besides the women’s match and Khali/Big Show, every match on this card has potential to be good. I think we’re in for a pretty good PPV.

That’s it for this week. I hope you all enjoy the PPV, and have a good week.

Stay safe, everyone.