411’s AAA/CMLL Report 6.03.05

Welcome to a extremely late edition of Lucha Libre on 411! I was out of town until Monday, and when I came back my brother decided to bring some of his craziness into my life. Somehow between all the shenanigans, I let the Lucha slip away from me. So being the wise man I am, I decided since there was no IMPACT this week, why not post up some late as all hell Lucha Libre?

This week I thought it’d be fun to cover some of the news and rumors of LUCHA LIBRE! Just a taste of some of the goodness that is Mexico’s rumor mill. You see not unlike the IWC has tons of news and rumors for WWE/TNA/ROH and other indy groups, there is also Lucha news. I was the only one on 411 who busted the story about Shocker missing AAA’s Triplemania to be at TNA’s Hard Justice. So why not take a look at some of the happenings of our friend south of the border?

NEWS AND RUMORS FOR AAA/CMLL

– Electroshock (AAA) is reporting that he’s leaving AAA to work as a independant wrestler. He appeared on Triplemania for AAA, but says he is planning on persuing more action elsewhere. AAA hasn’t announced Electroshock’s deperature but he’s already scheduled for a IWRG show. IWRG is a smaller up and coming lucha federation.

– Gronda is being replaced by AAA similar to what AAA has done with Psicosis and La Parka. No word yet on how they plan to replace Satan, but it appears the original Gronda will be known as Groonda XXX. Groonda XXX is changing his name and his look (see pic below) just enough to evade prosecution, and he’s headed into CMLL in June. No details are available about the new AAA version of Gronda. The old Gronda is in the white background, the new Groonda XXX is in the black background.

Looks like he’s sporting a “Batman” cowl as opposed to his normal devil mask.

– Lady Apache and Electroshock are a item. I’m not sure how this came about, but smart money says its NOTHING like the Hardy/Lita/Edge love triangle. Here’s a photo of the happy couple! Anyway rumor has it, that due to this Lady Apache may LEAVE AAA with Electroshock. That’d be a huge blow to them I’d think.

– Vampiro is now back in AAA, jumping from CMLL. Apparently this is old news, but its NEW to me. That means its news to you, my faithful uninformed Lucha 411 reader. Vampiro worked the Triplemania show against Konnan.

– There are some mild rumors that Abismo Negro may jump from AAA to CMLL. Though nothing is confirmed at this point. I personally would hate to see Abismo leave, as he’s one of my favorite luchadors. I wonder if he owns his gimmick, or if he’d end up being Abyssmo Neegro in CMLL.

And that’s all the news that’s fit to print. Email me if you like this segment. I’m sure I can post little news and rumors every couple of weeks, if you fine readers are interested in the happenings of Lucha Libre! Now on with today’s SHOW!

6.03.05 From (5-28)

We get a preview of today’s action via a opening package, and now, PLAY THE AAA OPENING!

Jesus, Andre and that BASTARD Aurtoro welcome us to the show, and discuss today’s matches and last weeks happening.

Before the show starts, lets hit commercial!

– ACCION! Its all your favorite sports wrapped into ONE!
– Los Reporteros get to the scoops before you can even think about what has happened!
– `Shall we Dance’ on PPV!
– Vincent Fernandez on CD, order now and get this cool poster!
– CRASH has Latino in it, we swear!

Tiffany versus Diabolica versus Lady Apache

This is built up over the past few weeks of insanity. Diabolica was a team with Tiffany, but had the gold in her eye and now both girls hate one another, almost as much as they hate Lady Apache. Apache is sporting a hot little blue number this week, and it makes her look great. Tiffany comes out to “Man, I feel like a Woman” by Shania Twain, and I just felt like mentioning that. La Diabolica has a pretty cool new outfit on herself. If Lady Apache does leave like the rumors suggest, this might be one of our last times to see her here. Apache does a forward flip a la the British Bulldog to intimidate her foes. The rudas try and double team Apache to start, but Apache gets the best of them. Lady Apache tries to monkeyflip Diabolica, but gets kicked in the face instead. Headscissor off the top rope by Apache. Check out those angel wings tattoos on the shoulders of Lady Apache. I can’t recall seeing those before. Apache goes for a springboard, but Diabolica trips her up on the apron. Tiffany does a nice tope con hilo thru the ropes onto both her opponents. Tiffany sends Apache back into the ring, while we get replays of Tiffany’s WICKED dive. Tiffany gets a 2 count on Apache. Apache somehow turns a legbar into a reverse figure four, and Diabolica breaks it up with a dropkick to Apache’s face. Tiffany and Diabolica begin to exchange chops, and the crowd erupts. Its kinda like when La Resistance finally battled each other on RAW last week, but only, if the people cared. Diabolica gets the Bronco Buster on Tiffany! FACE FULL OF STUFF! FACE FULL OF THE STUFF! Thats similiar to the lesbian fem/fem domination movie I was watching earlier. Err…not to get off track. Tiffany gets out of that and powerbombs Diabolica, but as she pins her, Apache sunset flips Tiffany. Diabolica with a SPEAR! Not the Edge ‘personal’ kind of spear either. Tiffany throws herself far out of the ring on the missed corner charge. Diabolica whips Lady Apache, turns to celebrate, gets hit by a Apache dive, though she recovers soon enough to eat a top rope somersault bodypress from Diabolica. Nice exchange there. Diabolica gets a German suplex back on the inside. Apache comes off the top rope and does a sunset flip to BOTH rudas, and gets a 2 count on both. Corny but cute. Diabolica slaps Apache in the butt, envious I am, and then hits a Razor’s Edge powerbomb. Diabolica goes up top, tries a foreward flip, but it doesn’t connect. Apache with the F-U on Diabolica and then she hits a top rope forward flip on Diabolica, but it looked very weak. Diabolica recovers and goes for another Razor’s Edge, but Tiffany and Diabolica EXPLODE! We’ve gotta take a commercial break, this really IS like Impact!

– Asalto en Tijuana is now available on DVD! Hahaha, I wanna order some of these shitty Mexican movies on DVD.
– Are you too fat for your jeans? Finding a little extra buldge on the tummy? Order Meso Oral, 1-800-585-0647 and you’ll be hot like Vida Guerra!
– Galavision has all the good shows!

We’re back the referee is down, supposedly at the hands of Diabolica. Somehow in the confusion, Diabolica loses her mask. This gives Tiffany and Apache time to finish the match while Diabolica finds her mask and covers her face. Apache with a Mexican surfboard on TIffany, that leads to a pin and a 2 count. ROCKING CHAIR by Apache. Big ups for that. Out runs Chessman behind the ref’s back and WHOOSH! He hits the BLINDING RED MIST! He rolls out of the ring before the ref can notice, and Tiffany hits a powerbomb for the 3 count. After the match Diabolica gets jumped by Tiffany while Lady Apache gets mauled by Chessman, HERE COMES ELECTROSHOCK! He makes the save, and we all rejoice. Everyone gets a little more brawling in, and they are still playing Shania Twain the whole time. There’s some comedy gold there somewhere. Diabolica has her mask back, and all is right with the world.

Winner: Lady Apache

The fans are excited as Apache and Electroshock celebrate. Why would these two want to leave AAA? Its beyond me. Both are high up on the card, and fit the AAA style. They share a kiss through Electroshock’s mask, which is bizarre to say the least.

Verdict: Great match. It wasn’t the best women’s match I’ve seen here, but of the 10 + minutes we saw it was solid. What’s really great is the long backstory and rivalry coming into this match. I have to give AAA credit for storytelling here, as I don’t speak the language and totally understood the story. The ladies deliver again.

Replays show that Tiffany was actually the one who swiped Diabolica’s mask. Those tricky rudas!

– ACCION! Mas Deportes, por Galavision!
– Platinum Health Plus. I’m so tired of hearing this white guy speak Spanish, trying to sell his wares.
– Permitame Tantito is Spanish comedy and hot chicks….JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER SHOW ON EVERY OTHER MEXICAN CHANNEL!
– Los Tucanes De Tijuana have their new CD out now. I bet its sold more then John Cena’s.

Kickboxing Match: Humberto Alanis versus Tailandes

Its a rematch for last week! Why? Its beyond me. These are the same two guys from last week, BUT their names appear different. Why is that you ask? Someone sent me corrections on their names. Hopefully this doesn’t become regular though, seeing as how there is much better boxing on this channel. I’m here to recap LUCHA, not this.

ROUND 1: Tailandes hits a few shots, and is more aggressive then last time. Humberto gets a knockdown, but it appears that maybe it was a slip. Same for Tailandes. They get in a few decent shots, but nothing of note as the round draws to a close.

Newton’s Score Card for Round #1: I’m going to give it to Tailandes because he controlled more of the round. Both guys had knockdowns that were slips, but actually Humberto had the better of the two. Still Ty looked better.

ROUND 2: Humberto tries some roundhouse kicks that get reflected, but then both men echange some hard kicks. Tailandes gets in some punches, but then Humberto UNLOADS on Tailandes face. Tailandes tries and return the favor, but his stuff doesn’t go as far and Humberto comes back and leaves the exchange the victor. Tailandes nose is bleeding. Tailandes does get in some good kicks, but he’s tiring again. The ref stops to check Tailandes nose. They call that the round.

Newton’s Score Card for Round #2: Easy round for Humberto Alanis. He got in the most shots, busted up his opponent, and looked good. Give credit where its due though, Tailandes fought hard the whole round and never let up.

ROUND 3: Humberto Alanis tries some fancy kicks that go nowhere. Tailandes is aggresive and gets a knockdown, and hammers Humberto Alanis with kicks. More wild punches and kicks by Tailandes and Humberto Alanis slips or is knocked down again. Humberto Alanis catches the tail end of a kick to the groin, and the ref stops to check the low blow. Humberto Alanis is getting pummeled as the round comes to a end. Humberto gets a couple good shots in, but Tailandes is like a wildman plowing into him.

Newton’s Score Card for Round #3: Tough call, the low blow could take points from Tailandes, but he controlled that round. He didn’t do enough to hurt Humberto, but he did good. I give it to Tailandes by a inch.

WINNER: Humberto Alanis

Well the judges had a tough one there, and it was a split decision. The crowd agrees with me, and boos Humberto for ‘winning’.

– Watch real boxing on this channel.
– Penzoil for good cars who want to feel like they have oil in them again.
– LLAME YA! Order the Amerikash Card punk!

We’re back and we get to preview a bunch of wrestlers. The best of which is a new team coming in, they are named the LOS ESPANTAPAJAROS and they are THREE SCARECROWS! These outfits have to be seen to be believed. They even have little fake crows on them. Without seeing these guys wrestle, they have already moved into the # 1, 2 & 3 spots in my favorite wrestlers. They are SCARECROWS! A fat one, a skinny one, and a medium size one. I LOVE LUCHA!

Charly Manson does a interview from a graveyard. I believe he’s saying that there really should be no confusion between him and Marilyn Manson. He’s a big fan of Marilyn, but he hates rock music. He’s a reggae man. He trash talks Electroshock too.

Charly Manson, Picudo, Monsther versus Alebrije, Electroshock, Gronda

This match starts before the bell as everyone just starts brawling. Alebrije is the butterfly man. Picudo is Gene Simmons from Kiss. Picudo works over Gronda, which answers that age old question of who’s win between Simmons and Satan. Somehow Electroshock gets busted open, and Charly bites the bloody wound. Chucky and Cujie get into it, but I don’t think they are part of the official match. This is just a wild brawl. Charly is whipping Electroshock all around the arena. Monster is doing mean things to Alebrije. The Rudos are firmly in control as the random brawling fills the arena. Gronda continues to have his knee worked over. Strongest most evil force in the world, with a bad wheel. I just IMed from my uncle. I don’t know why. I hate it when random family members IM me. I don’t even know how they got my screen name. He’s talking to me about fishing, which actually is more interesting then this match. Apparently he didn’t catch anything. Gronda did catch Charly Manson with a clothesline though. My uncle always wants to know if its my girlfriend on the computer. I get this wierd vibe he wants to flirt with her. My uncles a cool guy, but I’m not hip to him trying to hit on my lady. Then again, he’s hoss, not much I could do to stop him. I wonder if he has a bad knee like Gronda? Alebrije gets a arm drag, while everyone sort of continues to stall and brawl. Alebrije bodyslams Chucky for being a demonic doll. Gronda clears the ring and poses. My uncle chimes in on the calamity of my brother, though he’s very unimformed. I have to fill him in on the latest details. Electroshock and Charly Manson get into the ring now. First a pose down. Electroshock gets a plancha on Charly. Cujie planchas Chucky. My uncle is far too inquisitive about my GF. My uncle does get the line of the night with “sorry about my spelling when I’ve been drinking”. My uncle leaves us about the time Alebrije gets a rolling thunder headbutt, which looks as stupid as it sounds. Gronda BLOWS a chokeslam on Picudo but here comes Chessman. He accidentally mists Charly Manson, allowing Electroshock to get the pin. Chessman is 1 for 1 in the mists tonight.

WINNERS: Alebrije, Electroshock, Gronda

– Historia Del Futbol tells you all about the great history of the world’s least exciting sport!
– You can speak Spanish and still be a part of the U.S. Marine core. I’m not sure if that makes ANY freaking sense.
– A women is ready to go on a big trip, and as she packs her skank clothes she hears a Galavision weather report, and remembers to pack her galoshes.
– ITT Tech is for the Spanish speaking folks too ya know!

Verdict: Very boring match. I’m kind of glad my Uncle IMed me to distract me during that match. There really wasn’t anything to talk about. It was a long and dull brall, following that time honored brawl and stall tradition of Lucha Libre. Nothing to see here, moving on.

Replays of Cujie’s plancha on Chucky cause that was about the only highlight of this match. Alebrije tried, but Electroshock was too busy brawling while Gronda was blowing spots.

Electroshock and Charly brawl some, and Electro almost gets stretchered out, but then recovers and battles back sending Charly to high tail it out of there.

Mask versus Mask Match:
Mini Psicosis (w/Psicosis) vs Octagoncito (w/Octagon)

This was built up to last week, with that wild minis battle royal type match. There really isn’t a reason this should suck. Octagoncito is at least as tall as Rey jr. Mini Psicosis is taller. I’m just saying. Octagon and Psicosis leave ringside, and as they come through the curtain, Psicosis jumps Octagon. The Vipers jump in to help out, and there is Hator. Abismo Negro is there too, and they get shots in on Octagon. Handcuffing him to some fence, and beating the tar out of him. Back to ringside Octagoncito hits a top rope twisting moonsault plancha. That was wicked, it’d been nice to see how we got there though. TNA should have used these two minis when they brought some in for Victory Road. Mini Psicosis shoots through the middle rope with a rana on Octagoncito. Meanwhile backstage, Mr. Aguila is getting in some shots on Octagon. Back in the ring Mini Psicosis does a brutal over the head belly-to-belly suplex, and goes up top. Octagoncito avoids a splash, and comes back with a rollup. Not of the fruit variety. Octagoncito with a backdrop. Lionsault by Octagoncito. Psicosis has snuck down to ringside. Octagoncito applies a submission, but Psicosis throws water in the face of the ref, and then whacks Octagoncito with a steel chair. Backstage La Parka has seen enough, and he comes to the save of Octagon. In the ring the Psicosises have ripped half of Octagoncito’s mask off and have him tied in the tree of woe. Mini Psicosis is pounding Octagoncito with the steel chair across the chest. AGAIN! AGAIN! brutal. Octagoncito is bloody and nearly maskless. Psicosis (the big one) picks up Octagoncito and hurls him 5 rows into the crowd. That draws a big Psicosis chant. Octagoncito is beaten to mush here. Both Mini and Original Recipe Psicosis are double teaming Octagoncito. Finally Octagon comes limping out from the back. Octagoncito comes back in the ring and goes for a dragon rana on Psicosis, but while he’s on Psicosis’ shoulders Mini Psicosis jumps up and hits a SUPER HURRCARANA! WICKED! Octagon hits the ring and arm drags Psicosis taking him out of the ring. PLANCHA by Octagon! Octagoncito monkey flips Mini Psicosis, and then hits a F-5! Octagoncito climbs up top. SPIRAL TAP! Octagoncito gets the pin! …1 …2 …3! Octagoncito wins!

WINNER: Octagoncito

Afterwards all the heels rush out to help out poor Mini Psicosis who has to lose his mask. Octagoncito is a bloody mess. Mini Psicosis tries to sneak off, but Octagon drags him back and demans he unmask. Octagoncito is completely unmasked at this point anyway, but they beat up Mini Psicosis and take off his mask. He looks better then the ORIGINAL Psicosis if you are curious. He also has to reveal his real name, and its Humberto Sanchez. Fair enough. I hate to see Mini Psicosis unmasked though, I hope he gets to put the mask back on.

Verdict: This was a great main event and a fun match. It could have went two ways. Let the minis fight it out in a awesome match, or have them do a angle driven match. Sadly AAA chose for the angle driven match. Though the match was still fun, we could have done without all the attacks. Still Octagoncito took a bloody, brutal beating and came back. Mini Psicosis lost his mask, and tried everything to keep it. Solid match, solid story, solid main event. I can’t ask for much more, especially from the Minis. If this was Impact, it’d get some Traci moons I’m sure.

We get a preview of next week. La Parka, Octagon, Gronda, Abismo, Histeria, Muerte Roja, Nicho el Billonario, Zorro, Charly Manson, Alliens and more! We also get a replay of some of the hottest moves of that match, and we’re out of time!

Final Thoughts: Really good show this week. The womens match delivered again. The Minis put on a excellent main event. We got to preview some new wrestlers, and the angle developments continued while the stupid stuff was kept to a minimum. No blow away matches, but nothing too horrid either. The Electroshock/Charly Manson trios match sucked, but what are you going to do. Its still a totally missable show though, as nothing impactful happened aside from the unmasking of Mini Psicosis to be revealed as Humberto Sanchez. The kick boxing match was better then last weeks, but I’d just assume that was the last of them. 3 Lucha matches in 2 hours just isn’t enough, and that kick boxing match ate up 15 minutes or so. Still another solid show this week from AAA, much better then last weeks show. I’ll have another Lucha report come Monday, and it’ll be on time, I promise. Until then, feel free to email me. I’m off to the airship, HOLLA!