Rolling Germans Review: Zero One Fire Festival Day 3

ZERO ONE: FIRE FESTIVAL DAY 3

I’m at the tail end of my five days off work. Sadly enough, some divine force thought it necessary to make me sick exactly when my mini vacation was to start. So while I haven’t been going outside that much, I’ve had some time to catch up on a lot of wrestling that’s been sitting in my basement and/or my room for the last few weeks. I also got the chance to re-arrange my surround sound system into a seven speaker set up instead of the standard five speakers. As such, I ended up watching Hogan vs Rock three times in one day until I truly felt like I was back in Skydome again. Top priority though was this show as I’ve been DYING to see Ohtani vs Tanaka for months now as people have been using that magic acronym (MOTYC in case you didn’t know) to describe this one.

Sadly enough, this review isn’t brought to you by any snack foods. Ever since Grade 13, when my philosophy teacher told us about certain foods that have a posotive and negative affect on a sick body, I’ve been following the regimen. Truth be told, it usually works like a charm as I completely get over colds within 3 – 5 days. Some of you might say “oh my immune system is the same way” but how many people have that lingering cough or runny nose for weeks on end? Not me I tell you that much. So yeah, this review is brought to you by plain old water and Vitamin C tablets. Acidic compounds in Orange Juice are one of those things to avoid (according to my old teacher) and I only had it on Sunday during Survivor Series because there’s only so much water you can take.

Please take the time to visit Marking Smart Video for picking up this tournament along with other great material.

And before I forget, yes I will review Ring Of Honor 6/22 after this review is posted. Yeesh, you guys never give up on the emails. Thanks, they’re appreciated. =D

So at the end of day two:

BLOCK A:

Shinjiro Ohtani = 2 points

TAKA Michinoku = 2 points

King Joe = 2 points

Kintaro Kanemura = 1 point

Masato Tanaka = 1 point

BLOCK B:

Kohei Sato = 2 points

Steve Corino = 2 points

Yuki Ishikawa = 2 points

Hirotaka Yokoi = 2 points

Tetsuhiro Kuroda = 0 points

Block B: KOHEI SATO (2 Points) vs HIROTAKA YOKOI (2 Points)

Both guys are very adept on the ground so of course we get some beautiful mat work to start. Each guy keeps looking for various arm and/or leg bars only to have the other work through it into one of his own. You just don’t see this kind of chain wrestling in WWE and it’s a shame because they’ve got so many guys that would feel right at home with this stuff. We break it open as Sato brings the STIFF forearms and Yokoi STIFFS him right back with right jabs. Yokoi reels back into the corner and Sato CLOCKS him with a running forearm. UGH! More pain as Sato DRILLS him with a Running High Kick. This hurts just to watch it. Overhead Belly to Belly is segued into an Exploder Suplex for 2 and Ѕ. He looks for another but Yokoi reverses into a Cross Legbar and the crowd EXPLODES! It looks to be another one of those flash victories for Yokoi but Sato just makes the ropes. Yokoi looks for another stiff right but that’s reversed into a Uranage and another for 2 and ѕ. Sato walks in and Yokoi just KILLS HIM with a stiff right. Sato is on spaghetti legs and Yokoi brutalizes him with another stiff jab and follows up with a Rear Naked Choke for the victory. Man these guys stiffed the hell out of each other. Yokoi throws one of the hardest right jabs I’ve ever seen in pro wrestling. This was all about fast paced, very stiff action. Good heat after the legbar made it all the better. **1/2

Block A: KINTARO KANEMURA (1 Point) vs TAKA MICHINOKU (2 Points)

I’m hoping this isn’t another TAKA dies match. First Ohtani drops him on his head a few times (though the match kicked ass) and then King Joe throws him around and drops him on his head a few more times (not so great match). Quick pace to start until TAKA hits an Overhead Belly to Belly Suplex. Kanemura’s out and TAKA looks for his trademark Swandive Plancha but slips off the ropes. Quick thinking has him recover and hits a nice Quebrada Moonsault. Back in the ring and they go back and forth with SICK CHOPS! TAKA channels Piper with a two finger eye poke but Kanemura’s all “I can do better than that” and delivers a technically sound low blow. TAKA ends up outside and Kanemura goes for a table. TAKA the idiot follows Kanemura up the stairs only to end up beat down with Kanemura hitting a SPLASH FROM THE SCAFFOLD THROUGH THE TABLE! SPLAT! TAKA’s pretty much dead so Kanemura takes the time to rob the front row of their seats, throwing about 15 chairs into the ring. Man, you just KNOW someone’s getting hurt. He grabs TAKA and slams him on the pile. He looks for the Fat Ass Senton but TAKA cuts him off with three low blows (now THAT’S overkill) and press slams him onto the chairs. EEEWWW! TAKA hits Sweet TAKA Music (yes I know I could just say Superkick, SHUT UP!) and slaps on a Crossface but Kanemura makes the ropes. TAKA heads up but Kanemura throws the referee at him (HA HA). He looks for a chair shot but TAKA rebounds with a VAN DAMINATOR! I LOVE IT! TAJIRI SUPERKICK! WWE THAT SHIT DOWN! 1… 2… 2 AND 9/10! TAKA looks for a German Suplex but Kanemura gets in a low blow and looks for one of his own only to have TAKA flip out of it but Kanemura meets him with a BIG TIME Lariat followed up with a POWERBOMB ON THE CHAIRS! 1… 2… 2.999999! THUNDERFIRE POWERBOMB! 1… 2… 2.999999! DEATH VALLEY DRIVER ON THE CHAIRS! FAT ASS SENTON! IT’S OVER! So much for TAKA not getting killed again. This was all about over the top garbage wrestling. Both of these guys can actually you know… WRESTLE when they want to. Ah well, I’m not going to bitch too much because this was still fun to watch, just disappointing in that they could have put on a wrestling match but went the crappy FMW garbage route instead. **

TATSUHITO TAKAIWA/NAOHIRO HOSHIKAWA/YOSHITO SASAKI vs YOSHIAKI FUJIWARA/YUKI ISHIKAWA/DAISUKE SEKIMOTO

We’re JIP’ed into the juniors going to work on Sekimoto. Takaiwa and Sekimoto exchange some FUCKING SICK CHOPS! Sekimoto looks for a German Suplex but Takaiwa has none of that and hits a DVD. Sekimoto eventually makes the tag to Fujiwara and it SLOOOOOOWS down. Fast forward through some of the mess until Sekimoto comes back in and Sasaki looks for a Spear but that’s turned into a Facelock Suplex (NICE) followed up with a BEAUTIFUL High Angle German Suplex. 1… 2…. 2.Takaiwa saves. Fujiwara tags and they slap on a nice Double Legbar but Takaiwa again makes the save. Ishikawa hits a HUGE Backdrop Suplex and hooks in a Keylock but Hoshikawa again makes the save. Everyone ends up outside except for Sasaki and Ishikawa as Sasaki hits the GORE! GORE! GORE! And looks for the Grandpa’s Piggyback Of Fun but Ishikawa slips out and slaps on a Choke Sleeper only to have that reversed into a Jawbreaker. Sasaki looks for a lariat but Ishikawa blocks and hits an Enzugiri followed up with another Rear Naked Choke for the victory. UGH! What a mess of a match. The work was fine but the match was all over the place. Everyone worked hard and even Fujiwara didn’t bore me to attempted suicide like usual but I wasn’t too happy with the match on the whole. We’ll go ** for the whole thing and be done with it.

CW ANDERSON vs SPANKY (NWA/ZERO ONE International Junior Heavyweight Title)

If memory serves me right, Spanky went over Naohiro Hoshikawa to win the title the month prior (sorry I haven’t seen the match so I can’t offer a reference rating). They’re kind of short on juniors so Anderson gets the call. I’ll admit that he’s lost a lot of weight but I have serious doubts he should be booked into a junior title match. Anderson dominates to start with basic offense. Spanky comes back with a bunch of fancy flip flop to wow the crowd. Anderson’s out and Spanky hits a SLINGSHOT FRANKENSTEINER! WOW! We’re clipped to Anderson in control with a Hammerlock Driver (NICE) for 2 and Ѕ. We’re clipped again. FUCK! NOW THIS PISSES ME OFF! They gave the meaningless six man tag all sorts of time when they could have hacked it to bits and no one would have cared. BUT NOOOOOO! Instead we get the match FOR A FUCKING TITLE getting clipped instead. Who the hell makes the editing decisions for these shows? Spanky ducks a lariat and rebounds with a Quebrada Bodyblock for 2 and ѕ. He looks for a Tornado DDT but Anderson blocks and hits a DELAYED SUPERPLEX for 2 and ѕ. AWESOME MOVE! Anderson looks to Backdrop Spanky but he lands on the apron and hits a SWANDIVE DDT! I LOVE IT! 1… 2… 2 AND 9/10! He looks for Sliced Bread #2 but Anderson flips him off and hits THE BEST SPINEBUSTER IN THE BUSINESS! 1… 2… 2.999999! FOLDING POWERBOMB! 1… 2… 2.999999! He looks for another but Japan Rule #2 (never do the same move twice) kicks in and Spanky manages to reverse into a Victory Roll for the win. I hate clipping, especially in a title match but what they showed was kick ass stuff with loads of innovative moves and a hot crowd to boot. ***

Block B: STEVE CORINO (2 Points) vs TETSUHIRO KURODA (0 Points)

Oh lord… it’s Corino again. I’d be perfectly happy to see him forfeit the rest of the matches just so I don’t have to cry myself to sleep anymore. Flip flop to start and NOW we get the stupid comedy based around a handshake. GOD I HATE THIS SHIT! We’re clipped with Kuroda working over the leg, culminating in a Figure Four. Corino is OOOOOOLD SCHOOOOOOL so he sells the Figure Four like it’s the most deadly hold known to man. After some great rope teases, he finally gets the break. Kuroda heads up but Corino cuts him off and hits a SUPER CAPTURE SUPLEX for 2 and ѕ. Corino gives Kuroda a taste of his own medicine with the trademark Kuroda leg posting. Corino is STILL selling the leg. You see this kind of stuff both pleases me and pisses me off at the same time. Corino is such a great worker… when he wants to be. He spends so much of his time doing stupid shit and just makes me want to hit Fast Forward 99% of the time. But then you see him in a match like this, where the comedy is heavily curbed and he’s showing off great wrestling ability and putting over the leg work big time. I wish he’d stick to the serious style more because he’s really enjoyable when he cuts the crap. Anyway, Corino slaps on a Figure Four but Kuroda makes the ropes. Corino pulls off the wrist tape and chokes him only to have Kuroda pull off his own wrist tape and choke Corino. Both guys pass out for a bit. OK, now THAT was pretty funny, even I’ll admit that. Kuroda telegraphs a backdrop and Corino hits The Old School Expulsion for 2 and 9/10. RUNNING ACE CRUSHER! 1… 2… 2.999999! A Blind Charge leads to Kuroda hitting a BIG TIME Lariat. He heads up but Corino cuts him off and looks for a Superplex only to have Kuroda block and hit his trademark Hotshot. Kuroda tunes up the band for the big lariat but Corino blocks and looks for one of his own only to have that reversed into a HORRIBLE Gannosuke Clutch for the victory. Well I’ll be damned; this wasn’t too bad at all. I feared the worst from the two resident comedy workers of the bunch but they managed to find a nice balance between jokes and hard work, leading to a rock solid match. **

KING JOE/TOM HOWARD/THE PREDATOR vs RYOUJI SAI/KAZUHIKO OGASAWARA/SHINYA HASHIMOTO

Those of you that read Part 1 of this tournament might remember me mentioning Ogasawara saving Hashimoto after the evil Gaijin bastards attacked him at the end of their six man tag. Now we get the follow up as King Joe has a tournament off day and joins the never ending (and getting tired fast) UPW Gaijin vs Zero One feud. Hash and Predator start off with their usual power stuff. Howard and Ogawasara tag and Howard does his “I’m in the military and you can’t hurt me” gimmick but Ogawasara is all “My name is KARATE MASTER! IDIOT!” and gives him a sweet spinning roundhouse. Ooohhh…. HOWARD IS PISSED! He loses it and pounds on Ogawasara hardcore. Predator tags and Ogawasara brings the kicks (this guy should be Tai Kwon Do master instead) but Predator has none of it. Sai tags and brings the chops but Predator no sells (what a surprise) and he beats on Sai, leading to him and Howard hitting their trademark Doomday Blockbuster for 2 and Ѕ. I’ve got beef with a move like that. That should honestly be a finisher. It’s very high impact, overly contrived, and extremely tough to pull off, yet they use it just for mid match filler. Joe tags and brings the STIFFNESS! Running Enzugiri for 2 and Ѕ. Predator tags and hits a Canadian Facejam for 2 and ѕ. Howard tags and FUCKING BREAKS SAI’S JAW WITH A SUPERKICK! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! He heads up for a Corkscrew Senton but no dice. Hash and Joe tag and Hash BRINGS DA PAIN! The Gaijin use evil cheating and Joe tries to hit a DDT but Hashimoto totally exposes how stupid a move the DDT really is as he shifts his weight and just stands there, leaving Joe to look like an idiot falling on his ass. Hash fires off the Spinning Chop and hits his own trademark DDT and THAT’S IT?! Wow… way to kill off the monster aura Joe had going for him. As is usually the case, this was another throwaway six man tag. Everyone brought the work boots and it was a fine way to kill ten minutes but neither you or I will remember it ten minutes later. **1/4

Block A: SHINJIRO OHTANI (2 Points) vs MASATO TANAKA (1 Point)

OH BABY! THE MOTHERFUCKING BITCHMASTER AGAINST TOUGH AS FUCKING NAILS MASATO TANAKA! SUPER HOT CROWD! Ohtani slaps Tanaka on the clean break. YES! Another tie up and Tanaka SLAPS THAT SHIT DOWN! We get a bit of a feel out leading to the ground game for a while. Ohtani breaks it up with a Tree Of Woe Baseball Slide and TANAKA’S BLEEDING ALREADY! I suppose that shouldn’t have come as a shock considering he was bleeding like a pig the night before against Kanemura. They should have a picture of Tanaka’s forehead in medical journals right beside “advanced stages of scar tissue.” Ohtani takes it a step further and literally DIGS HIS FINGERS INTO TANAKA’S HEAD! OH MY GOD! Then we go FULL ON BITCHMASTER as he FOOT SCRAPES TANAKA’S FOREHEAD! OH SHIT! He goes for a running foot scrape but Tanaka’s FUCKING PISSED and hits a GORE! GORE! GORE! He looks for a lariat but Ohtani ducks and hits a Spin Wheel Kick followed up with a Released German Suplex but Tanaka rolls through and hits THE LARIATOOOOOO! Double KO leads to no selling of elbows and high kicks and now it’s MEGA STIFF BITCHSLAPS! I LOVE ALL THIS! Ohtani gets the better end of it as Tanaka reels back in the corner and Ohtani FUCKING DRILLS HIM with a running high kick. THIS IS SICK! Ohtani looks for another but Tanaka meets him with an elbow and a huge Backdrop Suplex. He puts Ohtani on the top and hits a SUPER REVERSE SUPLEX FOR 2 AND ѕ. AWESOME! OHTANI IS FUCKING DEAD! Tanaka takes this FUCKING HARDCORE as he literally cups his own dripping blood into his hands, puts it in his mouth and SPRAYS OHTANI WITH HIS OWN BLOOD! THAT’S THE SICKEST SHIT EVER! DIAMOND DUST! 1… 2… 2 AND 9/10! “OH TA NI! OH TA NI! OH TA NI!” Tanaka looks for The Tornado DDT but Ohtani throws him off and it’s a Double KO. Ohtani’s up first and looks for The Dragon Suplex but that’s blocked and Tanaka looks for an Elbow Smash but that’s ducked and Ohtani hits a RELEASED DRAGON SUPLEX! COBRA TWIST! Tanaka’s in a world of hurt and THIS CROWD IS ON FIRE! He tries to roll to the ropes but Ohtani pulls him back at just the last second. TA TA TA NO! “TA NA KA! TA NA KA! TA NA KA!” Tanaka again rolls and this time just barely makes the ropes. Ohtani stays on the attack with the trademark Swandive Dropkick and hits a HUGE POWERBOMB! 1 COUNT! FIGHTING SPIRIT THAT SHIT DOWN! Ohtani charges for a running high kick but that’s sidestepped into a RELEASED DRAGON SUPLEX! FISHERMAN’S BUSTER! FIVE… STAR… FROG… SPLASH! 1 COUNT! BITCHMASTER SPIRIT THAT SHIT DOWN! Another Double KO but Ohtani’s up first and it’s THE FUCKING SPIRAL BOMB! IT’S GOTTA BE OVER! 1… 2… 2.999999! HOLY SHIT! THE CROWD IS NUKED! Ohtani charges for a lariat but it’s ducked and Tanaka hits THE ROARING ELBOOOOOOW! 1… 2… 2.99999! LARIATOOOOOO! IT’S OVER! INSAAAAAANE! These guys beat the snot, blood, piss, shit and everything in between out of each other. They just let it all hang out there and the crowd was climbing the walls for pretty much the whole thing. While it’s a fantastic match, it’s not the high end MOTYC (probably on the lower end of the list) that some folks have been pimping for the last two months. However, it’s definitely something that I would highly recommend you seek out as this ruled it hard. ****1/4

So at the end of Day 3:

BLOCK A:

Kintaro Kanemura = 3 points

Masato Tanaka = 3 points

Shinjiro Ohtani = 2 points

TAKA Michinoku = 2 points

King Joe = 2 points (off day)

BLOCK B:

Hirotaka Yokoi = 4 points

Kohei Sato = 2 points

Steve Corino = 2 points

Tetsuhiro Kuroda = 2 points

Yuki Ishikawa = 2 points (off day)

Partial Analysis: Odds are I probably would have given this a mild recommendation even without the main event. There wasn’t anything here below **. The junior title match was a lot of fun (even if it was clipped) and the rest of the undercard was rock solid. However, we also have the KICK ASS main event and at ****1/4 (legit low end MOTYC) makes for an automatic high recommendation. Remember to pick up this show along with all the other parts of the Fire Festival and much more at Marking Smart Video.

Justin Baisden

Rolling Germans Wrestling