411’s AAA/CMLL Report 5.03.05

Welcome to week #10 of Lucha Libre on 411! Tonight we’ve got 2 hours of AAA, and we’re not going to waste much time. But first, as per the norm, I have just a few notes this week.

I won’t yammer on and on about Chris Candido, cause everyone has pretty much said what needs to be said. I will say that I really enjoyed Candido’s work over the years, and that this was truly sad news. I was just having a discussion about his injury, and his dedication to TNA, when I went and read about his untimely death. He was always great in the ring, and could be comical or serious in any match. One of the best ‘sellers’ ever in the business, bar none. He also cut some great promos, and I’ll never forget his stuff in ECW where he’d get all upset and red in the face, going on and on. Or the time he joined WCW and claimed he beat Giant Baba & Antonio Inoki in a handicap match. That was classic.

In other news, my TNA versus Smackdown column had garnered a TON of feedback. Mostly positive, which is good. I think the column is a solid read, and one of the better things wrestling-wise out there right now. Give it a look if you haven’t already. I have RAW versus TNA coming this week, so be on the lookout for that.

Did anyone notice that there are more “Peep” signs on RAW then anything else? Christian so should have beat Kane last night. Even if Christian is going to Smackdown, a first round victory over Kane would have given Christian just the edge he needs to slip into the main event. I swear I’m saying he’s the next WWE main eventer. He’s just so damn over, and has been on such a roll lately. Please WWE, stop screwing Christian and move him UP THE CARD! You have a chance with the draft, make good use of it.

In relation to last week’s column, I got quite a bit of feedback to let me know that the La Parka who won the Luchador of the Year award for the last four years, was in fact the current La Parka, and NOT LA Park. The current La Parka is referred to as La Parka Jr. by most fans, but I refuse to refer to him as that in this column. Congrats to him for being Luchador of the Year so many times in a row, and ripping off the REAL La Parka’s gimmick. Not a bad gig if I do say so myself. If WWE ever wants someone to take Batista’s place, just call me up. I’m not doing anything.

Lastly, this week to add a little spice to the Lucha column I’m doing STARZZZZ! That’s right, a special one week addition. So lookout for the * and ***** matches tonight! But don’t expect it every week. Its just a thing for me to do this week, for fun, ya know?

Without further adieu, lets get to this week’s Triple A!

4.31.05

Jesus, Andres and Arturo welcome us to the show! Arturo is the commentator who really gets on my nerves. I’m guessing he’s a heel commentator, and at first I thought I liked him. But he just annoys the hell out of me these days.

Johnny, Yessy, Tewe, & Jay versus Silver Cat, Picudo, Nygma, & Espiritu

This is a 8-man tag. We’re in the four sided ring if you’re keeping score. The Los Kumbia Kids are all dressed in white, and they consist of Yessy, Tewe, Jay and Johnny. They sorta look like 4 guys in karate gis. The Vatos are Silver Cat, Picudo, Nygma and Espiritu. They are dressed like KISS, and if you’ve been wondering where your old Halloween costume from 1979 went, look no further. KISS does a cool intro complete with fire and a guitar, but I think they could do better in all honesty. Plus they didn’t come out to a KISS song, which boggles the mind. Its not like Lucha doesn’t use copyrighted all the freaking time. Right at the bell a brawl starts. The Karate Kids get KISS out of the ring, and then all four try a baseball slide. KISS sidesteps that, and then all four Kumbia kids charge at the Vatos. The Vatos lift all four Kumbia’s up and drop them chest first across the guardrail, in a nifty but highly contrived spot. You aren’t going to stop the feaking Kiss Army that easy. Peter Criss shows some ruthless aggression by hurling one of the Karate Kid’s face first into the steel ringpost. Mr. Miyagi never trained him for that. Back inside the ring Daniel LaRusso tries to do a plancha onto Gene Simmon and Paul Stanely, but you KNOW that ain’t happening. They catch him, and then toss him FOUR ROWS back into the crowd. Wild. That makes the infamous Bam Bam/Spike Dudley thing look like a armbar by comparison. The Catman is back in the ring, and going at it with Tewe. Tewe misses a lariat and gets taken down by Peter Criss. In comes The Spaceman and he his a bigtime lariat on Tewe. Ace Frehley is a man to be reckoned with. I want no confusion here, I often refer to people by names I make up for them for fun. However Los Vatos gimmick really is that they are KISS wrestlers. Its The Demon to the fourth power. I doubt that KISS actually licensed this though, thus its not a “Special Main Event”. KISS tosses one of the Kumbias out of the ring, while Johnny comes in for more. All four members of the Vatos lift him into the air. KISS WITH A FOUR MAN FACEBUSTER! I’m betting that at least once in KISS’ historic career, a groupie has felt a four man facebuster, though perhaps not exactly of that nature. That sends Johnny out, and in comes Yessy. He ends up taking a powerbomb from Peter Criss, and then gets a facejam to boot. As he goes out, in wanders Jay because he figures maybe he can do better 4-on-1. Of course he doesn’t do any better, but don’t let me bother to destroy that lucha formula. Peter Criss with a powerbomb on Jay as well. Jesus, what is with Peter Criss being the most talented guy in KISS? Perhaps they should have picked him to be Ace Frehley instead. Espiritu does a springboard lionsault on Tewe for good measure. In comes Yessy who has changed his whole outlook on things. He tries to convince KISS to let him dawn the makeup and join the band, but that goes over about as well as The Egyptian Warrior, Vinnie Vincent. The gang piles up on him, and then Paul Stanely POWERBOMBS Yessy off the top rope. Man why don’t the Karate Kids just leave KISS alone? They just wanna Rock-n-Roll all night…..and party every day! The four Daniel-sans are just getting slaughtered here. Johnny gets beat on the outside by Gene, while inside the ring the rest of KISS beats on Tewe. Nygma goes backstage and comes back with a broom, and breaks it over Tewe’s back. I’m reminded of a house show I went to for WWF back in the day. Mankind used a broom on the back of Aldo Montoya! Who knew that I would reference that now. Anyway I’m not really sure who Nygma is supposed to be in KISS. I assume Ace but he really doesn’t look right. Since I’m the PROFESSOR and all, I think its time for some Kiss Factoids:

Did you know that the KISS logo had to be redesigned for the German market because of the similarity of its two S’s to the symbol of the SS, Adolf Hitler’s paramilitary troops, which it is illegal to display in Germany. The German KISS logo has S’s that resemble backward Z’s, and all the band’s albums and German merchandise use it.

And now you know….Anyway this match continues to be a wild sprawling brawl. Johnny is busted wide open as Espiritu and Picudo beat on him. He’s bleeding pretty nicely, and Tewe and Yessy get CROTCHED on the steel posts for good measure. KISS don’t play, that’s for sure. Then again who would expect that Knights In Service of Satan to be push overs? Gene Simmons tries to crotch Johnny but he’s all crimson masked, and refuses. He reverses a irish whip, and causes Gene to end up crotched by his OWN partners. Yea, thats for tougne magazine! Then Johnny hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Enygma and nails a BEAUTIFUL super kick. The other two Kumbias climb into the ring behind Johnny and goes flying between the middle rope with suicide dives onto Silver Cat and Picudo! Wicked timing there. Johnny then goes outside to the apron and does a springboard moonsault onto Enygma! He just did the BME to the outside by gawd! Yessy is still just standing there outside trying to regain his wind from the earlier beating. As the Kumbia kids brawl outside with KISS! Yessy finally does a top rope armdrag to Nygma outside. The Starchild just wants to be friends, and offers a handshake to Jay, but he does the Tajiri backflip bounce onto the ropes into a arm drag takedown of his own. Then a springboard armdrag, and a sloppy headscissor. He sends Paul face first to the outside with a slide. Then Jay does the shittiest flip into a style and profile, that even the fans boo. Tewe comes in and gets a headscissor, and tags out to Johnny. Johnny comes in like a house of jalapeno, but gets double teamed by Gene and Paul. He gets irish whipped, and ducks a double clothesline, then busts into….DANCE! I’m not kidding, Johnny just pulled out some of his fanciest moves, and it seems to have mesmerized the various members of KISS. Surely he isn’t challenging KISS to a dance off? We’ll never know, as Silver Cat has seen enough and kicks Johnny into the chest. Johnny does a facebuster on Silver Cat. Johnny with a double noggin nocker into a facejam. Then Johnny monkey flips Paul Stanely OVER the top rope. The Kumbia Kids do a spot where each one of them knocks a member of Los Vatos out of the ring with a dropkick, and then they plancha onto the Vatos. In the ring Picudo (Gene) and Johnny brawl it out with chops. Gene is losing the war, as Johnny continues to get fired up from the crowd, he turns for another chop but Gene is holding his little KISS army members. He’s pretending to be low blowed. Johnny pleads with the ref that he didn’t low blow Picudo, but the referee isn’t sure who to believe. Frustrated at the shenanigans of KISS, Johnny low blows Gene just for the hell of it, in FRONT of the ref. That draws the DQ. KISS offer up a aftermatch beatdown, while Arturo laughs like a idiot. We’re off to commercial!

Winners: (KISS) Silver Cat, Picudo, Nygma, & Espiritu

This week’s Lucha Links are courtesy of the Abismo Negro!color>

– First up Mike Hamflatt has his column STUCK IN A MOMENT! I thought it was a good read, because Bret Hart and the new Hart Foundation of 97 ruled all kinds of ass. Probably the best Stable ever. Better then at least some of the best Horsemen groups. Hamflatt? What kinda name is that?
-Next, Yours truly has about the best read on 411 right now. If you like Christopher Daniels, you’ll love this column!
– Then we have Adam Bauguess doing one of those highly gimmicky columns I hate, but his debut is Sting/Vader and that’s good times. So its a good read, cause Sting/Vader ruled 14 kinds of ass.
– Last but not least we have Larry Csonka doing a bang up job on paying tribute to Chris Candido. I’m pretty sure we were the first wrestling site with a tribute up, and Larry’s done the best job of anyone I’ve read. A lot f columns seemed to “use” the death for bizarre reasons, while Larry just paid tribute to a damn good wrestler.

Verdict: I’m not sure what to say about this match. It wasn’t bad, but it didn’t do anything for me either. The KISS gimmick seems to work for the Vatos, but I question using 4 guys to do a Karate gimmick with the Kumbias. I mean, they didn’t do ONE karate move between the four of them. It was a basic brawl until the Kumbias did their spots, and they felt very robotic. Still the spots and brawling was good, so I’ll say *** for the whole thing.

We’re back and Abismo Negro is in his street clothes. He YELLS at the camera a bunch. I’m assuming he’s excited cause he got to sponsor this week’s links? No?

La Parka, Gronda, & Latin Lover versus Abismo Negro, Chessman, & Tinieblas Jr.

We get to see La Parka’s entrance, and I LOVE that he uses Thriller as a entrance music. That’s such a cool song for him. I still wanna see LA Park more, why doesn’t TNA book him? La Parka is the captain for his tam, while Abismo is the captain for the other team. LLL’s team to be exact. Gronda is in first, and he flexes up to scare the opponents. The rudos can’t decide who will fight Gronda, and keep tagging each other in. No one wants to fight Satan! Can you blame them? Eternal damnation is on the line here! Chessman finally decides he will, while Arturo SINGS on commentary. Jesus I hate that guy. Gronda shoves Chessman and he tags in Abismo Negro. Abismo gets put into a side headlock, and drags Abismo around the ring with it. The rudos come in and Gronda hits a double lariat on them both. La Parak in now, and he dances. Granda back in. Wait, Gronda tags Latin Lover, and the LADIES GO WILD! Dude must get some serious tail. Tineblas and Latin do some flippity floppy before Latin hits a kick to the back of the head. Latin Lover then sends him out of the ring via face shove, then Latin lover goes for a baseball slide, but stops and yanks Chessman face first into the apron. That wasn’t very sportsman-like! We’re off to commercial!

– La Jugada! Watch it or you’ll be visited by 3 spirits. The ghost of soccer past, future and present!
– Since its SOCCER related, Will Ferrall’s new move Kicking and Screaming gets a commercial. I guess that’s pretty funny.
– Order now and get this exclusive Selena magazine! I wonder who is making all the money off her rotting carcass? Her parents maybe? Some Mexican promoter probably. She’s been dead like 100 years. She’s the Mexican Elvis!

La Parka arm drags Chessman as we come back from the break. La Parka does a rope walk arm drag takedown. Tineblas comes in with karate chops, which La Parka blocks, but they finally catch him/ Tineblas gets a corner whip, but can’t hit La Parka while he’s in the corner. Abismo Negro gets tagged in, and he takes La Parka down. That’s right Abismo, show him who’s boss. Abismo continues the assault, but gets caught with a series of dropkicks from La Parka. Gronda comes in and shoves Abismo to the canvas, and he tags out to Tineblas. Tineblas Jr. eats a spinebuster. Then a chokeslam! He’s like Kane only, more red. La PArka in now. La Parka has Abismo in a camel clutch. Gronda has Tinieblas in an Abdominal Stretch, and Latin Lover does a cool powerbomb thingy which has Chessman pinned when, Mr. Aquila and Charly Manson come out to break this all up. Its a LLL/AAA war, and Arturo is singing the ROCKY music. Fuck I hate that guy. Pena comes out, Los Vatos come out, El Hijo Del Anibal comes out and they deal with Aguila and Manson. Abismo and Lar Parka brawl, and La Parka does a tope over the top rope. Abismo goes to spray fire in Latin’s face, but he ducks and he hits Charly with the fire. Oh no! Abismo and Latin lock up and Latin gets a reverse knife edge. Latin Lover jumps high into the air for a hurricarana but as he does Abismo low blows Latin and attempts a pin, but the ref is pulled out by La Parka. Latin then low blows and pins Abismo for the win. The faces are using a theme that has Lil John yelling “YEAH” over and over like a idiot in it. We get some replays of the action. We’re off to MORE commercials!

Winners: La Parka, Gronda, & Latin Lover

– Kicking and Screaming gets another commercial. They must really think they have a chance for cross-over promotion with that one. I doubt that the Latino audience will be digging it though. Under that rule Ladybugs would be a big Mexican sensation.
– Accion gets some spots, cause they ALWAYS do.
– Direct TV Para Todos is Direct TV but its in Spanish. It’s great if you wanna watch Spongebob Squarepants and other American shows. So says the commercial.

Verdict: Alright match, but it was very rushed. Then the run-in didn’t do anything but further establish the LLL/AAA feud which we should know by now. I’ll admit that this match could have been great, and instead just blew. What’s with all the low-blow finishes? * 1/2 for that mess

We’re back and that piece of dirty shit Arturo is doing this weird singing/humming combination of Charly Manson’s theme, as the actual theme plays. Could someone please kill Arturo? I’ll give you $5 American, which is like 100,000 pesos. Please? Anyone?

Charly Manson, Mr. Aguila, & Mongol Chino versus Zorro, Intocable, & Deluvio Negro
The LLL/AAA war continues! Maybe this match will end with a low blow too! YIPPEEEEE! I haven’t been this excited since WCW’s DJ Ran got all up in my area. I should mention that Zorro comes to the ring with some girl who’s dressed like his Bride, but like if she had 90% of her wedding dress ripped off. Its hot. This SHOULD be a good match, but then again so should have the last match and we saw how that turned out. Athor from last week is back, and he’s in the crowd again. Did I mention that Mr. Aguila is painted up really weird, I mean even Jeff Hardy would look at him and go “What the hell?”. Its a wild brawl as the whistle blows. Deluvio Negro and Mongol Chino go at it. Zorro and Charly Manson brawl into the crowd, where that cheapshot artist Athor gets in….a cheap shot. That brawl goes all over, as all three fight it out. Gee I wonder if Athor was a plant? Back in the ring Mr. Aguila is on the top rope and has a giant rubber barrel trash can, and throws it down onto Intocable. Then it looks like he’s going to follow up with a cool top rope move, but decides to walk the ropes to the other turnbuckle and climb down for no logical reason. Bat-Ref is handy and removes the trash can from the ring. Mongol Chino is biting the face of Negro. Back in the stands Charly chops Zorro! And back to the ring, as Mr. Aguila goes outside and throws the trash can BACK into the ring. He sets it up in the corner, and then clotheslines Aguila down. Zorro is still being double teamed in the stands. They are up in the cheap seats! Aguila puts Intocable in the trash can, and stomps him. Zorro is taking a beating in the stands! Mr. Aguila has pulled out yellow tape, and ties Intocable to the middle rope. He’s kicking the bejeebus out of him. Mongol Chino is doing random brawling with Deluvio Negro. Chino tries a clothesline but gets knocked down by Deluvio Negro! Deluvio yanks Aguila off the top rope. Deluvio Negro poses for the crowd, while Aguila rolls out of the ring. Intocable gives chase and HURLS the trash can into Mr. Aguila which sends him over the guardrail into the fans. Intocable is pounding him into the guardrail. Zorro continues to get battered. Intocable now ties Mr. Aguila to the bottom rope, while Deluvio Negro and Chino brawl in the ring. Back in the stands Zorro is getting pummeled. Athor is still out there causing a ruckus, and helping Charly Manson beat on Zorro. They’ve brawled all over the stands. Deluvio Negro is slightly bleeding. He clotheslines Aguila out of the ring, as Mr. Aguila breaks free of his binds. We’ve gotta go to commercial!

– Jessi Lojada for Platinum Health Plus! Its Insureance and its practical!
– EsMas.com is a website full of fun! If you want fun on thw web, its clearly ay EsMas.com!
– LA JUGADA! WATCH IT! PLEASE!
-Boys & Girls, when there is no one else to call, and nothing else to do call 888-3737-888….Okay that commercial creeps me out. I assume that’s like the boys town National Hotline, but I really don’t know.

We’re back and Athor is slamming Zorro down the steps somewhere in the arena! Deluvio Negro and Chino are both busted open, and continue to have the most boring brawl anywhere. INTOCABLE has caught up to Zorro, and he turns the TIDE! He hits Charly Manson with a box! Zorro rams Athor into a truck! Then a sign! They are in the parking lot! Zorro runs Athor right past the toy stand. They are in the STREET! A bus drives by, as Zorro kicks Athor. Athor gets thrown into the concession stands and into a table! He is getting beaten side to side. Intocable has made it back to the ring! What is he Flash? Mr. Aguila and Negro brawl it out, while Intocable takes it to Chino. Charly Manson has made it back to the ring now, and he goes at Intocable a bit. Finally here comes Zorro and Athor! Wait, Zorro has been UNMASKED! Someone alert Captain Monastario, Zorro has been unmasked and he’s not Don Diego De La Vega! In the ring Intocable tries to hit Chino with a garbage can, but Athor sneaks in ands steals it. Trash Can to the head of Zorro. Charly and Athor stomp the living HELL out of Zorro. He’s limp and dead. The referee has seen enough, and calls for the bell. The rudos have taken it too far. Antonio Pena arrives to yell at Athor. Intocable continues to brawl with Mr. Aguila, putting the trash can on his head and clotheslining him down. The police arrive, though they don’t look like REAL uniformed officers, and they handcuff Athor and drag him off. In the ring, if you can still believe this, Negro and Chino CONTINUE to brawl, and I swear not one person in the universe seems to care. They show Athor being put in the back of a police car. The fake cop waits for the cameras to leave, and when they don’t he’s so confused on what to do he gets into the PASSENGER side of the Police car. Silly Mexican Coppers.

Winners: Zorro, Intocable, & Deluvio Negro

– Bally Total Fitness can get you in shape hella quick. Quicker then Mr.T’s custom van, and that’s HELLA quick!
– AmeriKash wants to give you a credit card! No credit? No problem! Bad Credit? No Problem! Serial Killer? NO PROBLEM!
– ACCION! Its all your favorite sports wrapped into ONE!

Verdict: This was a wild brawl, and I have to give it that. Unfortunately it ended on a DQ too, which makes us 3 for 3 with DQs tonight. That doesn’t even make the slightest bit of sense to me. At least this one didn’t end on a low blow. It was action packed, and I have to give it credit for that. ** is all it gets from me.

Arturo Rivera in JAPAN! ARTURO IN JAPAN! Japanese footage is shown. Japan looks so freaking cool. The women all dress sexy, everyone is relaxed. They have kiosks upon kiosks of cool junk for sale. Hey is that a porno shop? Get out of there Arturo Rivera! They don’t want you in there! Stop ruing Japan for me Arturo! I HATE YOU!

Mini Abismo Negro, Faby Apache, Danshuko Dino, & Takeshi Minamino versus Mascarita Sagrada, Ofune, Pimpinella Escarlotta, & Spanky

Speaking of Japan, we’re back there for this match. Mini Abismo is out first. We covered Danshuko Dino before, but in case you forgot he’s 10% Bushwhacker, 90% idiot. He gets a long intro here complete with running through the fans and licking people. He’s a Japanese wrestler, though I can’t tell you where he primarily wrestles. Faby Apache is looking a bit disheveled here. I’m guessing that La Parka convinced her to try out the Japanese Day Spa, Bukkake. This turned out to be a little different then she expected, but she claims the face cream took years off her face. Takeshi Minamino is also a Japanese wrestler, and he’s really gay looking. He flirts with Faby, and then does a retarded dance with Dino. He’s also got the AAA logo shaved into the side of his head. Next up is Pimp, and he/she is looking a queer as ever. Pimpinela also has a really long intro, but no fans offer to kiss him. Ofune is out next, and she’s a Japanese schoolgirl with a mask. I’ll buy that. Anytime we can get a pink schoolgirl outfit on TV, I’m happy. Last but not least is WWE’s SPANKY. He’s doing a gimmick here, where he’s Spanky Decaprio, because he sorta looks like Leonardo Decaprio. The saddest part is, he comes out to that shitty Celine Dion TITANIC song. God Spanky, I thought WWE did ya wrong, but Spanky Decaprio? Lastly we have Mascarita Sagrada, who gets like 2 seconds of a entrance. We’re off to commercial, and then our main event will be underway!

– ITT Tech in Mexico! Learn to build cheap cars and repair computers you don’t have!
– Los Reporteros get to the scoops before you can even think about what has happened!
– Llame Ahora, get this ANTI-FUNGAL powder! Call 1-800-585-0642, for your batch today!

We’re back, and bang a gong, we’re on. Literally, bang a gong, cause we’re in JAPAN! So basically this is a midget, a woman and two gay guys versus a midget, a woman, and two gay guys. Seriously, Spanky must be a gay character in Japan. Cause that’s how this lineup is. I suppose Dino and Spanky could be considered….UNIQUE characters, as opposed to homosexual. Ofune and Faby start us out. Lock up, standing switch with Faby taking Ofune down by the leg,. Ofune counters, and they do some amateur takedowns, then do a pose. Ofune has pigtails, and a mask. That’s odd. Ofune with a arm bar, and its reversed by Faby. Faby with leg trip into a pin. Kickout, and Ofune does one of ther own. Both girls make the tag, and in comes Takeshi and Spanky. Takeshi gets a shoulder block, but Spanky gets a pair of hip tosses. Middle rope cross body by Spanky to Takeshi, and Takeshi wants no more. He goes and sits in the fans. Tag to Pimpinella and Dino. Dino unloads on Pimpi to start, taking him into the corner with clubbering. Pimpi responds with some wicked chops, into a armbar and PIMPINELLA WALKS THE ROPES, and then does a armdrag. They try some sort of spot, but it gets blown, and they roll out of the ring. Dino threatens a plancha, but instead goes a kisses a fan. Pimpi gets in the ring and threatens to kiss the ref. BRING IN THE MIDGETS! Mini-Abismo charges at Mascarita, but misses, and Sagrada gets a beautiful rana! Mascariata with a headscissor, and then off the ropes with a twisting headscissor that sends Mini-Abismo out of the ring. Mascarita Sagrada climbs to the top rope and dives off to the concrete, where he does a perfect dragon-rana to Mini-Abismo on the outside. INSANITY! Thus far, the best wrestling comes from the midgets. Ofune and Faby Apache are tagged back in, but before Ofune can even fully get into the ring, Faby dropkicks her down. Faby with a tilt-a-whirl back breaker. Then she puts Ofune in a Mexican surfboard. She does a wild swing and Ofune takes her down with a armbar. Ofune wrenches on the armbar on the ground, and Mini-Abismo sneaks in and puts Ofune’s legs into a toe hold. While he’s got that applied Mascarita tries to attack him, but ends up in a torture rack style submission. Takeshi comes in and breaks that up, and kicks them out of the ring. Pimpinella comes in and does a full on mouth kiss to Takeshi which leaves him baffled. It also leaves me revolted. Then, since Dino is a completely ignorant character that just does ‘funny’ stuff for no real reason, DINO kisses Takeshi full on too. I barf all over myself. Spanky does a arm drag on Dino, which Dino totally blows. (Note to self, Dino sucks) Spanky and Pimpi with dual topes onto Dino and Takeshi. Faby and Mascarita lock up in the ring, and Faby puts Mascarita into a BRUTAL torture rack, but Mascarita escapes and sunset flips her over. Damn that girl’s got some bounce to the ounce in that backside. Mascarita dropkicks her in the head, and AGAIN! Someone get that little troll off my cutie! Faby finally dropkicks Mascarita and puts a beating on him, till Ofune comes in and nails the fairy-go-round, and then a ace crusher. Dino comes in and beats up Ofune, with some weak shots, then he CHOKESLAMS her. Ofune gets a face full Dino’s crotch. Pimpinella comes in and shoves his butt into Dino’s face, and they brawl a bit until Takeshi comes in and attacks Pimpi. Takeshi gets a two count on Pimpi but Spanky breaks it up. Takeshi and Spanky brawl for a minute, and Spanky sends Takeshi out of the ring. Mini-Abismo and Spanky lock up, and exchange arm drags. Mini-Abismo is about the same height as Spanky, which shows you why this guy is never going anyplace. He’s a freaking MINI! Abismo gets a cross arm breaker on Spanky, but Mascarita comes in and takes Mini-Abismo out. Ofune and Faby in, and we get some panty shots of Ofune, cause I think the Japanese are into that. Don’t worry Japan, I’m into it too. Mini-Abismo takes Faby’s place, and they do a spot that sends Abismo out of the ring. Takeshi briefly in, and then Pimpi clears the ring. Its down to Mini-Abismo and Mascarita! Mascarita with a top rope rana, REVERSED INTO A POWERBOMB! Mini-Abismo gets a 2 count! Mini-Abismo sends Mascarita into the ropes, Mascarita does a twirling armbar grapevine for the submission, and the win! Faby was in to break it up, but was just a second too late. Pimpinella’s team celebrates!

Winners: Mascarita Sagrada, Ofune, Pimpinella Escarlotta, & Spanky

We get some previews for next week’s show…GRONDA in action….Charly Manson in action….NOSAWA in action! Mr.Aguila in action! Juventud Guerrera in action! TIGER MASK IN ACTION! And TAKA MICHINOKU! Sounds like a can’t miss show, so tape it, or tune into my report!

Verdict: Solid match for what it was. The only thing worth seeing was the minis and women though. Spanky seemed out of place with the rest of the ‘real’ wrestlers, because they were all gimmicky. I assume Spanky is just a ‘comedy’ character now, which is a shame, as he’s more talented then this turd Dino, and gay characters like Takeshi and Pimpi. I’ll give it ** 1/3

Dino decides he wants to have some of Spanky’s booty, so he pulls down his trunks and starts to get it, but Spanky takes off running. Dino chases him all the way to the back pulling down his tight….ummm…yea. The teams congratulate each other as the show comes to a close.

Final Thoughts: Below average show here tonight. It wasn’t as bad as last week, but they really blew it with the La Parka, Gronda, & Latin Lover vs Abismo Negro, Chessman, & Tinieblas Jr match. That COULD have been a classic, and instead it was just a throw-away. Nothing over *** all night, and its a shame. I mean if your best match is the one with the KISS impersonators, you might want to rethink things. All in all it seemed very “Sports Entertainment” filled tonight. Next week looks to be killer though, with Taka, Nosawa, Juvi, Tiger Mask and Aguila all advertised. As always you can drop me a email, as I love getting feedback. Good or bad. Also feel free to send me any corrections, and as always I’m headed back to the land of Grundo, via my own personal airship. Be on the lookout for my Professor’s Position column later this week. TNA versus RAW! Catch ya later!