Jack’s WrestleCon Super Show 2017

The WrestleCon Super Show makes for a fun addition to Wrestlemania weekend. The card is always absolutely stacked, and while it never quite lives up to its potential (everyone seems more focused on having a good time rather than having a great match, which is understandable), it’s invariably a fun, breezy watch with a ton of once in a lifetime matches. Hopefully, more of the same this time!

1- TREVOR LEE, DAVID STARR & CALEB KONLEY VS. MICHAEL ELGIN, A.C.H & MASCARITA DORADA
Mascarita Dorada is the former El Torito of Los Matadores infamy. He is genuinely terrific in the ring and rarely got the chance to show it off there; hopefully he’ll have some cool spots in this one!

Dorada does indeed have some cool spots! First, he ambitiously tries to wipe out all three of his opponents with a crossbody. They catch him and try a fallaway slam, but Dorada spins in mid air and takes down Konley with an arm drag. He then brings the crowd to its feet with a headscissors to Konley that features approximately a million billion rotations! Sadly, Trevor Lee derails his momentum with a crazy double stomp. Dorada makes a great face in peril, and Elgin makes a great hot tag! He just wipes out all his foes with a barrage of cool power moves. A.C.H just does not give a fuck and tries to wrestle with a baseball cap on. Dorada SPIKES Trevor Lee with a spinning Implant DDT! And then we get the predictably cool spot where Elgin presses Dorada onto everyone on the floor. Back in the ring, Dorada lands on Konley with a double jump moonsault, and with a bit of help from A.C.H keeps him down for the pinfall! *** 1/4. Elgin and Dorada’s performances made this a total blast.

2- SHANE STRICKLAND VS. LOW KI
Fuckin’ LOW KI! YESSSSSSSS! I know he can be obnoxious as heck at times, but he’s still bloody Low Ki and I will always be thrilled to see him and hopeful he can put his ego to one side long enough to have the great matches he’s still capable of.

Having said that, this is not a top performance from him. He controls Shane in a very slow, very cautious manner, only occasionally firing up a bit. When he does, it’s great. He clobbers Strickland with an out of control baseball slide, then crushes him out of nowhere with a double stomp off the turnbuckles. Can’t deny the match gets more interesting the more Strickland is in it, though, he’s so fluid and has a ton of cool, high impact moves to offer. The crowd serenade them both with a generous “this is awesome!” chant. Low Ki ties Strickland in the ropes and double stomps him onto the apron! What a terrible sandwich to be the meat in! And it gets three. ** 1/2. Just another match for Low KI, but those little explosive moments remind you of one of the finest independent wrestlers in history.

3- IMPACT WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP- BOBBY LASHLEY VS. JEFF COBB
This is quite slow. I hear terrific things about Lashley’s work for Impact and you look at the fellow and could definitely believe he’s absolutely take no prisoners, but on this occasion his heart isn’t in it. There’s very little interesting about his control segment. Cobb wakes the crowd up with his standing moonsault/shooting star press combo for two. Then Lashley just kills him out of nowhere with the Spear for the win. Moving on! * 1/2.

4- SAMMY GUEVARA & FLIP GORDON VS. JACK EVANS & ANGELICO
LOVE ME SOME JACK EVANS. LOVE ME SOME ANGELICO. Don’t know quite how much I love me some Guevara and Gordon but I hope this will rock, even though Jack Evans is apparently carrying an ankle injury.

Evans suggests Sammy Guevara is Justin Bieber and becomes 30% less cool as a result. 2009 called, it wants its punchlines back. (Although, 1963 or whenever has just called me and it demands the set up to its punchlines back, so I guess I’m not one to talk). Guevara gets revenge by wiping out Evans on the floor with a Fosberry Flop, soaring over the referee to do so! Evans ends up playing face in peril for a while but takes out both his opponents with a double blockbuster, and in comes Angelico! He causes trouble with his silky striking. Angelico gets Guevera on his shoulders, and Evans goes over both of them to take Gordon out on the floor with a dive! Wow! A Razor’s Edge into the turnbuckles sees Angelico finish Guevara. ***. More restrained than you’d like, but there was some good flying here of course.

5- TEAM OSPREAY (Will Ospreay, Ryan Smile, Drew Galloway, Marty Scurll & Lio Rush) vs. TEAM RICOCHET (Ricochet, Sami Callihan, AR Fox, Dezmond Xavier & Jason Cade)
I put in my RevPro review that Ryan Smile had flown to Orlando just for his match on that show, but hey, it turns out he was able to sneak another match in before his departure! Also, this is going to be utter fucking insanity. Marty Scurll is the most over guy of the ten. He’s having a productive weekend!

So, um, I didn’t make any notes on this whatsoever because it was basically the best fucking thing and I couldn’t unglue myself from it and I never wanted it to end. It had an extended dance off sequence, which I know a lot of people will hate, and a stretch when everyone was hitting RKOs and stunners and aping the mannerisms of Orton and DDP and Austin. So, yes, it was deeply silly in places. It also featured no semblance of story, no prolonged limb work or callbacks to previous matches or whatever. There was barely a structure beyond ‘two guys do a sequence, winner stays on, loser is replaced by another guy, occasionally there’s a big multi man spot.’ But, listen, this match made me beam from ear to ear from the first minute to the last. I loved the absolutely insane series of dives that opened it, I loved the goofiness of the dance off and the moment when Drew Galloway of all people was persuaded to dance, I loved the outrageous spot where Will Ospreay hit a Spanish Fly on Ricochet off the top rope to the floor onto the rest of the field. I was gasping at some of the athleticism and giggling at some of the daftness and occasionally just thinking “god, pro wrestling!” And what makes it even better is that I think everyone in the ring was enjoying it just as much as everyone in the crowd and us watching at home, everyone just tore into their dives (or big power moves in Drew and Sami’s case) with such utter relish, threw themselves into the comedy with no ego, and guys like Ryan Smile and Jason Cade and Dezmond Xavier were getting to prove themselves as being in the same league as the leaders in their field. The pace was relentless, the action was relentless, the fun was relentless, this was just the most fun I’ve had with a pro wrestling match all year, and fuck it, it’s going number one on the personal MOTY list to date. Just to cap it all off, Jason Cade spikes Will Ospreay with a vile huracanrana for the win and so we get to witness a genuinely major moment in that young man’s career! This played to every single one of my tastes in wrestling and did so with such glee and skill. It’s going to be hard to top all year, let along all weekend. *****.

Intermission, thank Christ.

6- DDT IRONMAN HEAVY METAL WEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP RUMBLE
Well, this should be… something. To be eliminated from the match you have to be thrown over the top rope, but the title itself, in true 24/7 hands, can change hands at any point via pinfall, submission, or throwing the champion out. 20 men are scheduled.

Joey Ryan is #1, and Colt Cabana is #2. Ryan immediately demands Cabana touches his dick, which makes me laugh with its sheer bluntness at least. Cabana rips his chest hair out instead. Kikutaro is #3 and immediately goes into slow motion, which Cabana and Ryan won’t play along with. Ryan’s cock continues to be freakishly strong. The Underground Luchador is #4 and quickly pins Ryan to win the championship. He then unmasks as… Matt Striker! Ryan eliminates him from the match to take his belt back. #5 is Jake Manning. He seems more intrigued by his scout guide than the match until Colt Cabana throws it away. #6 is George South. Impact Wrestling’s Suicide is #7. Who plays Suicide now? Mr. Hughes, who is actually responsible for a bunch of really cool wrestlers coming out the WWA4 school, is #8. Zane Riley is #9, and his arrival triggers a bunch of offense targeted at the arsehole. It’s that sort of match. #10 is Too Cold Scorpio! Business is picking up! Scorpio clearly can still go. #11 is Billy Gunn, getting a huge pop! Gunn clears the field down a bit, although Zane RIley only went through the middle rope, which might be a plot point worth noting. MOOSE is #12. He and Billy have a staredown which is legitimately quite cool. The tension dissolves when Swoggle enters at #13. Shane Douglas is in at #14. Swoggle is able to eliminate Suicide! Kevin Thorn appears at #15. Now there’s a name I hadn’t thought about in a while. Swoggle is terrified of him, and who can blame him? #16 is Shannon Moore. What weird alumni WWECW boasts. #17 continues this theme with The Hurricane! Big pop for him as well, it seems almost random to me who gets those. Hurricane plants Gunn with a chokeslam! #18 is Abyss. He sends Too Cold SAILING over the top rope. Hurricane obviously tries to chokeslam him and it… doesn’t work. #19 is Gangrel as Hurricane and Shannon Moore unite to eliminate Abyss. Swoggle dumps Shannon Moore with the Pop-up Powerbomb! And Marty Jannetty completes the field at #20. Jannetty and Gangrel have a fairly shambolic sequence. The crowd break out in a chant of ‘Marty’s Wasted!,’ which seems a little cruel. Gangrel dumps Jannetty, making the final four Gangrel, Moose, Swoggle and Joey Ryan. What an interesting foursome! Moose gets rid of Gangrel, but then falls victim to Ryan’s irresistable cock force and is sent flying over the top rope. Swoggle sneaks up behind Ryan, ditches him, and we have a new champion! Joey Ryan sneaks in and wins it right back again. *** 1/4. It’s extremely hard to rate a match like this of course, but it was a genuinely eclectic collection of guys and a fun, prolonged nostalgia trip. Some of the less gross comedy spots were quite funny as well! What more can you ask for?

Ryan brags about being the greatest Ironman HeavyMetalWeight Champion of all time, but then for some reason the fucking Sandman shows up! The crowd adore his five minute long, beer swilling, cigarette smoking entrance, and why not, it seems great fun. Then he hits the ring and canes Joey in the head and wins the championship!

7- TLC MATCH- JOHNNY MUNDO VS. BRIAN CAGE
No belt is hung above the ring here, this is just one of those matches where you’re encouraged to use the weapons in question. Mundo seems a bit agitated by how dead the crowd are (it’s gone midnight on a long day of wrestling, and Team Ospreay vs. Team Ricochet has already stolen the show) and doesn’t seem particularly thrilled to be there. Remarkable spot where Cage tries to whip Morrison into a ladder propped horizontally in the corner, but Mundo leaps over it and lands in the tiny gap between the ladder and the buckles! Cage spoils it a bit by just driving the ladder into him instead, but it’s the thought that counts. Brian Cage powerbombs Mundo’s valet Taya Valkyrie through a table with a Super Powerbomb! Mundo takes an age to set up a table in the corner, and turns round to find Brian Cage looming over him with a chair. Desperately, he drags Cage’s valet Melissa Santos into the ring, which distracts Cage long enough that he gets brained with the chair himself. And then Mundo spears Santos through the table! Cage has the last laugh though, winning with a Steiner Screwdriver onto a chair. This didn’t work at all, unfortunately. * 1/2.

8- THE HARDY BOYZ VS. FENIX & PENTA EL ZERO M
This is enjoyably brisk. Neither fans nor wrestlers have the appetite for a 30 minute epic and so they basically cut right to the finishing stretch. Everyone gets the opportunity to play along with “DELETE!” and “CERO MIEDO!” There’s a neat spot where The Lucha Bros lie the Hardyz on the ground, Pentagon gets Fenix in a Gory Special position, drops him backwards into a splash on Jeff, and in doing so lands on Matt with a leg drop! Soon after that though, Jeff Hardy crushes both his opponents with a Swanton Bomb, and that’s that. **. Nothing special at all, but in the context of the show that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

6.5

The final score: review Average

The 411

WrestleCon was a good time as always this year, but there's only one match from it you desperately need to watch. If your tastes in wrestling are in any way aligned with mine you'll just adore Team Ricochet vs. Team Ospreay. The rest of the show ranges from good to inoffensive, but can safely be ignored until later in the year when there's perhaps not quite such a colossal amount of pro wrestling to get to grips with.