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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 1.2.23
Image Credit: WWE
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Happy New Year, you wild fucks.
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
We start RAW hot with The Bloodline running wild on stagehands. Sami Zayn, The Usos, and Solo Sikoa are all in the ring when the music of Kevin Owens hits.
Kevin Owens has a mic, but Sami stops him, tells him that this is all Kevin Owens’ fault, this is a hostile takeover of Monday Night RAW.
Kevin says that he had something to say but he’s ready to beat some ass.
He walks down the ramp, but the voice of Adam Pearce is here to stop Kevin Owens. He comes out with security to hold Kevin Owens back then tells The Bloodline that he’s not allowing this in the new year, and tells security to escort The Bloodline out of the ring.
Solo makes quick work of every security guard that enters, so Adam Pearce is left with no choice but for Kevin Owens to run into the ring and…get attacked by all four men.
Adam Pearce screams for more help, and out comes some of the roster in another cliché that I will never, ever, ever stand by as viable or believable.
The RAW roster clears the ring of The Bloodline, and Adam Pearce says it’s time for him to put them to work because every one of them will have a match tonight. He makes mention of hoping they have their boots on, knowing full well that they are dressed for action.
BACKSTAGE, Byron is with Bianca Belair. She is in action tonight against Alexa Bliss. Bianca is no victim, and as of tonight, their relationship is beyond repair. She can blame Bray all she wants, but Bliss is her own person so if she wants this match tonight, she’ll get it, and Bianca will prove why the title belongs to her.
BACKSTAGE, Adam Pearce is with those on the roster who were outside to fight The Bloodline. Montez Ford wants action, so does Kevin Owens, and Elias wants his revenge on Solo. He wants a fight tonight. Pearce gives them a Music City Street Fight. He then books Sami and The Usos vs The Street Profits and Kevin Owens. Pearce says it’s a new year in the WWE, and we all gotta start acting like it.
That segment made the opening just a little better.
Match 1: WWE RAW Women’s Championship Match
Alexa Bliss vs Bianca Belair
The bell rings, and Bianca rings Alexa’s bell with a hard right to her face. Bianca then holds Bliss by the forehead while she swings blindly. Big headbutt to Bliss. Another. Bliss stares evily, Bianca misses a kick, dropkick from Bliss sneds Bianca to the outside. Bliss tries a baseball slide, but Bianca catches her in a powerbomb position. Bliss tries to Rana her, but Bliss swings her into the barricade instead.
We are BACK and Bliss locks the up the arms of Bianca, but Belair drops her on her ass, runs up the corner, smacks her ass, flips. Back, hits a dropkick then kips up. Bianca rushes the corner and hits the post. Bliss stands with her hands outstretched, then takes a bow. Bliss stomps Bianca a few times, walks out of the corner, then heads back and stands on the back of Belair. She stomps, sendin her down, then steps on the head a few times till the ref stops her. Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Bliss locks the head of Belair, tries for a suplex, but Bianca reverses and lifts Bliss up, Bliss lands on her feet, pulls Bianca down by the hair onto her knee and covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Bliss sends Bianca into the corner. Boot to the neck. Bliss smacks, hits a right, knee to the chin, drop kick. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Bliss goes for a DDT, but Bianca wont let it happen, deadlifts into a suplex and hits it! Bliss with a right, Bianca then gets a flurry of punches. She sends Bliss into the corner head first, the next corner, a third corner, Bliss slaps the abs, but Bianca still sends her into the final corner. She locks up, goes for a body slam, hits it, another one! A third! Biana hits the ropes, stomps Bliss, springboard moonsault cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Bianca lifts Bliss for another body slam, Bliss lands on her feet, holds the ropes and Bianca floats to the outside, Bliss kicks her off the apron. Bliss with a rolling senton onto Bianca! Bliss is bleeding from the nose, it seems.
BACK again, and Bianca has Bliss set up for the KOD! Bliss escapes, tries for a spin move, but Bianca stops it and hits a backbreaker. Bliss cowers to the corner, Bianca mounts with the punches. She gets to 11 but Bliss slinks to the apron, and pulls the hair of Bianca, forcing her out of the ring the hard way. Bliss goes over to Bianca, screams that this is her championship.
There is someone in the crowd with a dark mask on. A security guard tries to hold him back. Bliss turns, stares at him, then shakes it off and enters the ring. Bliss to the top rope. She is facing the crowd, and another person is waering the same dark mask. She stares at him while on the top rope, then climbs down.
Bianca turns towards Bianca, the screen flickers Bray’s logo, Bliss touches her forehead, shakes in confusion and agony, then leaps onto the referee with a Thesz Press! She punches the ref left and right, which I assume will lead to a DQ.
Winner: Bianca Belair via D
Pretty sur they were making the start of the match just a complete one-sided affair, but that one side went on a bit too long, making Bliss look a little incompetent and weak. Still, the main goal here wasn’t the title shot, and was the flickering screen and inevitable fall into darkness that Bliss is facing. For that, I’ll be cool with the match.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 17:14
Bliss then hits Bianca with a Thesz Press, sends her to the outside, hits her with a barrage of right hands, then takes her over to the steps and DDTs her into the ring steps. Bianca’s head bounces off the ring steps and her mouth is pouring out blood. Bliss walks away, seemingly happy with her work, then thinks twice of it, comes back to the steps and hits another DDT onto the steps.
WE RETURN to see some footage of Montez Ford helping Bianca to the back.
BACKSTAGE, Austin Theory is asked how confident is he about his title match. He says it’s high, because it’s the New Year. 2022 was Theory’s year, and 2023 will be his year. As for Rollins? When he least expected it, he dropped Seth. This just clarifies that Seth is the past, and he is the NOW. He holds the title, but that’s not all. He holds all the cards. He’s outplaying Seth on every turn. This means his Forever reigns is just beginning. Not too bad for a kid, huh Seth?
Elias is center ring with his guitar and wants to play us a little diddy. He says Solo will find out tonight that WWE stands for…
He is about to play a song, but Solo ain’t havin it. He’s here, and he’s ready for action.
Match 2: Music City Street Fight
Solo Sikoa vs Elias
LOCKUP! Elias with a side headlock. To the ropes, Solo hits a tackle, and Elias eats it. Another side headlock by Elias. Solo corners Elias, hits a shoulder, then a hard slap to the face. A punch to the gut, a headbutt. Solo chokes Elias up and that’s legal here. Chop from Elias, another, another, whip to the ropes, reversed, Solo hooks the arm, Elias reverses, Solo with ashort clothesline. Right hand to Elias. Solo gets sent over the top rope as Elias holds onto the ropes, Elias tries to dive through with a kick ,but Solo sidesteps and uppercuts him. Solo sends Elias into the apron edge, then hits a right hand. Solo grabs a cowbell. Elias attacks the mid section, grabs the cow bell and smacks Solo in the back with it. He sends Solo to the irng post. Chop to Solo. Elias with a guitar, swings it, and Solo ducks! The guitar explodes against the ringpost. Solo chops him, ask Elias what’s wrong with him, then looks to send him into a drum set. Elias reveres, though, and sends Solo into the set of drums! Elias grabs the hi-hat and uppercuts it into Solo, sending him into the timekeeper’s area.
WE ARE BACK to the top of the stage, and Solo has a stand of some sort. He is jutting it into the gut of Elias all the way down back to the ring. A headbutt sends Elias to the apron, and he rolls into the ring. Solo hops into the ring next, and calls for the spike. Elias hits him with an electric keyboard just as he turns tho and whips. Solo grabs Elias and spin drops his ass with a Samoan Drop to the mat. Cvoer for 1..2..NO!!! Solo tosses Elias to the outside, then leaves the ring as well. Elias grabs a tambourine. He smacks Solo’s face with it, then sends Solo right back into the ring. Elias with the keyboard, he smacks Solo with it, again to the back! Cover from Elias! 1..2….NO!!! Belly to Belly from Solo. He hits a right to the head, cornering Elias. Solo backs up, rushes the corner, misses a splash, Elias with a tambourine again, macks him across the head, again, a chop to the chest, right to the face, back and forth, whip to the corner, big splash, hits the ropes, dives with another splash, hits the ropes, Solo mises a right. SPINEBUSTER FROM ELIAS!!! Another tambourine shot! Big clothesline sends Solo to the outside! Elias grabs the keyboard again, smacks Solo one more time across the back! Elais walks over to the broken guitar, drops it, then points to……some dude in the crowd that has an album out. His name is Hardy, I believe. Yes, confirmed. He hands Elias a guitar.
Elias enters the ring, Solo with a superkick. Solo beats Elias down in the corner. Hardy leaves the audience, enters the ring, grabs his guitar, and smacks Solo across the back with it. Solo no-sells it. Hardy runs out of the ring. Elias hits a huge knee. Elias to the top rope with the broken fragments of a guitar. He flies. SAMOAN SPIKE!!! Thank God, cuz that woulda been dumb if Elias hit anything there. Solo locks the body up of Elias.
Spinning Solo onto a piano that breaks apart underneath Elias! Pin for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Solo Sikoa
A little longer than I would have liked, and the celebrity involvement was unnecessary. I will give it to them, though, the celebrity did not get the upperhand – something that was a problem before.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 14:32
So which Hardy was that…?
Match 3: The Street Profits and Kevin Owens vs The Usos and Sami Zayn
The six men do NOT wait for the bell. They all meet in the middle like Zedd until just Dawkins and Jimmy are left in the ring.
The bell rings and Dawkins goes to work on Jimmy. Spinning hit in the ring, and an enziguri n the corner. Cover from Dawkins. 1..2..NO!!! Dawkins tags Ford, who goes on the attack. Tag back to Dawkins. He kicks Jimmy, Jey with a high kick as the ref is distracted. Tag to Jey. Jey attacks with a right, then stomps heavy in the corner. Jey tags in Sami. Sami with kicks ot the back. Right hand to the head. Another. Headlock and a tag from Jimmy. The Usos enter the ring and wishbone Dawkins. WE get a tag to Owen, whio enters, whips, hits a back elbo to Jey, then a senton. Jimmy tries to fly into the ring, but Owens clocks him. Sami to the mat. Owens calls him a little bitch then tags in Ford. But Ford is distracted. He’s staring at the amt a little unfocused. Owens in the corner, beaten by The Usos. Tag to Sami, and. They stomp Owens out in the conrer.
WE ARE BACK….and my iPad dies. Please hold…
Winners:
Total Rating:
Match Time:
WE ARE BACK again and freakin Sheamus and Drew McIntyre are here to attack The Bloodline! Drew hits Jimmy with a headbutt and Sheamus sends him over the top rope! Sami and Solo go to check on them as they cower to the back.
UP NEXT Lumis vs Gable.
Match 4: Chad Gable vs Dexter Lumis
Dexter rushes the crner, then chases Gable around the ring. Gable with a waistlock, but Dexter sends him outside and slithers out to chase him. Otis stops him, Gable rols into the ring ,Dexter does the same and goes eye to eye. Gable hhits the ropes, Thesz Press. Right hands. Dexter drops some fists onto the chest. Gable up, whips, one armed flapjack onto the top rope. Gable grabs the left arm, chops Dexter, another chop drops him, Gable lifts, hits another, another. Gable whips to the ropes, high knee to Dexter. Northern Lights by Gable. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Gable sends Dexter to the, nope, Dexter reverses and sends Gable over the top rope, he skins the cat, Dexter with a clothesline , another, uppercut. Splash in the corner and a bulldog from Dexter. Back suplex, kip up, he flies up and drops a leg onto Gable. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Dexter locks up, Gable reverses with a waist lock. GERMAN! Dexter to the outside. High knee from Gable sends Dexter into the ring post. Gable gives Otis the ok to……spin for abackfist but he hits the post!
Dexter enters the ring, Gable with a drop toe hold, cradle for 1..2..N!O!!! Reversal and Dexter applies the pin. 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Dexter Lumis
”I don’t know what to make of Dexter Lumis,” says Graves, and that’s pretty much what everyone is thinking, because outside of the creepy gaze, who is he and why? No one knows, and no one really cares…
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 4:15
A video look at Cody Rhodes starts here and will continue later. It goes over his return and his HiaC match.
WE are BACK and Damage CTRL is here to call the city Trashville. Bayley reminds us that they were born here at Summerslam. So, finally something good came from here. She says she can think of no better a way than to kick off 2023 with her heroes here right beside her.
Before they celebrate, we all need to address the Irish Elephant in the room. Yes, yes she did beat Becky Lynch. She’s not saying it was easy, but she did it all by herself. She’s beaten everyone!
Becky Lynch is tired of it.
Becky: “Shut up, Bayley, ya dope!”
Lol. She says Bayley’s been on a hamster wheel since she has come back. Same thing every week. She is a coward and a fraud. That’s the thing’ Bayley feels most comfortable in someone else’s shadow. It took her years to get out of somebody’s shadow, but only took one year to put herself right back there again. See, Bayley is the lackey of Kai and Sky. They have the gold, but Bayley takes all the glory. It’s only a matter of time before someone turns on someone else.
Bayley tells her ot shut up, she must be mad cuz she lost.
Becky does remember that this all started at Summerslam in Nashville, so how about we end it in Nashville. Bayley says no. She has already beaten her. But she’s down to let Kai and Sky face Becky and a partner of her choice.
Becky says she doesn’t have her phone on her, so she’s down for a 2-on-1.
Match 5: Becky Lynch vs Dakota Kai and Iyo Sky
WE come back from break and Becky starts with Iyo. She gives her a big boot then kiks Kai off the apron. Bekcy ot the apron, kick to the stomach and she hangs up Sky on th top rope. Becky to the ring, Iyo locks up behin,d Becky shoots her off, enziguri. Cover for 1.2…NO!!! Kai in the ring, Becky drops her in the corner. She sends Iyo into the corner with a hip toss. Cover to Kai for 1..2.NO!!! Leg drop, ebow drop, hits the ropes, another leg drop. She rushes the corner with. Right hand, then tosses Kai into the corner hard. Back elbow, Iyo on the apron, Becky misses a righ and Kai drops her then covers for 1..2..NO!!! Kay sends Becky to the outside. Tag to Iyo. Kai whips Iyo into Becky, and she hits Becky with a clothesline on the outside! Slap from Becky. Iyo with a dropkick. Iyo sends Becky into the ring. She sits on the chest of Becky with a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Tag to Kai, who pulls back on the lips of Becky with a fish hook.
Kai is really putin in work, but out of nowhere, Mia Yim’s music hits! She hops to the apron and reaches out her hand!!! Becky crawls….gets there…TAG! Tag to Iyo! Clothesline! Another. Drop toe hold to the entering Kai. Flapjack to Iyo onto Kai! Dropkick to Iyo. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! kai pulls Iyo outside, but Becky dives off with a fist ot the face. Mia dives through the ropes with a suicide dive!
WE are BACK and Iyo hits a sick dropkick to Yim, cover for 1..2..NO!!! Mia escapes. Iyo with a submission! Mia reverses int oa pin! 1..2..NO!!! Mia kicks Iyo into the corner, Kai gets a pin! Mia reaches to tag in Becky, Mia hits a neckbreaker to Iyo! Both girls down! Kai is over on the outside by Becky! Tag to Necky! Becky pulls Kai into the apron then hits a leg drop onto Kai! Knee to Kai! She sends Kai’s face into the mat on the outside! Becky sends Kai to the post! She whips her into the barricade! Again! Iyo comes running and Becky sends HER into the barricade! Becky grabs Kai, sends her into the ring, head to the top rope! Shotgun dropkick! Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Mia and Becky superplex Kai off the top rope!!! Pin or 1..2.NO!!! Iyo stop the pin, pushes her palm into the face of Becky, Mia sends her flying, Kai pushes mIa away, but she hits this sick ass leaping head scissors spiking Kai onto the mat head first.! Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Bayley is there to put the boot on the rope!!!
Becky attacks! This allows Kai to drive Mia’s face into her boot and Iyo to hit a moonsault! Pin for 1..2..3!!!!
Winners: Iyo Sky and Dakota Kai
A fun enough match, although I do feel Becky kind of had a lot of offense to start, making the CHAMPIONS look a little bad, and the presence of Mia not nearly as necessary or as urgent.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 14:02
Backstage with Cathy, and she is with Seth Rollins. He says what a night, The Bloodline is trying to take his show, Theory is trying to take his spot, but as long as he is bleeding, breathing, doin it all, Monday Nights belong to him. IN just a few minutes, so will htat US Title. Theory will do all it takes to hold the titl,e and Seth digs that. But as good as Theory is, he is not Seth Rollins.
Byron Saxton is backstage and here comes Bliss. She says she gained control of Bianca’s headspace, and that title belongs with her.
WE are reminded of Thanksgiving, and Dominik’s breaking into the Mysterio house on Christmas Eve. Dom and Rhea are at his grandparent’s house. Thwy step outside, and I guess Dom’s gift was that Rey can hit him. Rey doesn’t, but Rhea blocks a right from his mom and she slaps Rhea. The cops arrest Dom. Dom is taken away, and says he wont make it in jail. Lol. Wtf.
WE now get a promo from Dominik Mysterio cutting a promo about sadness, saying that’s what prison was like. He has a tear drop tat. Lol. He says he served hard time, and he survived. Prison changes a man, and we may think it’s over for him, but nah…he’s just getting started. He has a toothpick, tells Rhea he is his only. Lol. Man I don’t know how to feel about this…lol.
Match 6: United States Championship
Seth Rollins vs Austin Theory
This match is getting a lot of time. Hopefully a good one.
LOC-NO! Seth dodges the lockup to conduct the chorus of his song. They can for sure carry a tune. Seth fingerlokcs, kick from Theory, right to the knee. Side hedlock to Seth. Seth sends Theory to the outside and again. Seth heads to the apron, hops over a swinging right, then hits Theory with a knee. Seth drops Theory on the barricade, then heads to the announce desk. He flies with a knee to the head!
WE COME BACK TO Theory holding Seth in a side hedlokc. Seth drops him with a bck suplex. Seth misses a splash in the corner. Theory covers! 1…NO! Cravat from behind immediately by Theory. Seth turns into it, snapmare from Theory, he hits a jawbreaker to Theory. Theory runs into a kick. Seth gets sent over the top! Theory leaves the ring, sends Seth’s face into the table. Again. Theory shoots him into the apron. Theory tosses Seth over the table, and he lands in a chair. Theory grabs the US title and tells Seth he will not disrespect him.
WE back! Seth kicks Theory in the chest, again, he flexes on Theory, who rolls to the outside, and Seth conducts the song again. He hits the ropes, suicide dive to Theory! He tosses Theory back into the ring, tries for a Pedigree! Theory rolls up, Seth rolls through, 1.2…..NO!!! Knee from Seth, back breaker! Cover again! 1..2…NO!!! Seth to the top rope! Theory up! Right hand to Seth! He climbs up to lock the head of Seth. Seth slinks down, BUCKLE B—NO!!! Theory hops off, lifts the knee, tries to suplex, Seth counters, Theory hops off, misses. A righ,t hits a back elbow, tries for the suplex again, but Seth hoosk the lg and rolls up for 1..2..NO!!!! Seth lifts up for a Buckle Bomb, but his knee gives out and he falls! Theory locks the head immediately, Seth escapes, hits an elbow, lifts up and Theory hops to the top roep. Seth turns, right hand from Theory. Theory to the top rope. Seth runs up! Locks the head! SUPERPLEX!!! Theory rolls through and hits a suplex!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Theory calls for the end. Seth escapes, enziguri, Theory blocks, Seth hits another! Both men down! Seth up. Theory stirring. Both up! Theory with a right! Seth hits a right. They trade blows. Seth with a riht, left, right, kick from Austin, double hook, Seth escapes, rolling elbow, another to the back of the neck! Theory crumbles. Seth wants a stomp! He runs, goes for it, but the KNEE!!! It gives out! Theory rolls out of the ring, Seth falls to his knees.
Theory says forget this and grabs his title. He’s over it. Seth leaves the ring and hobbles over to Theory, who is trying to escape through the crowd. He sends Theory back into the ring, Theory has the belt, tries for a belt shot, SUPERKICK FROM SETH!!! To the top rope! FROG SPLASH!!!! Cover for 1..2…….NO!!!!!! Lockup, Theory revereses, waist lock, shoves Seth INTO THE REF! Seth flies over the head of Theory, knee buckles. Kick to Theory! PEDIGREE!!! Ref is out!!! Another ref slides in! Cover for 1..2…….NO!!!!
Seth gets in the ref’s face. Ref checks on Theory. Seth in the corner, tries the stomp, Theory shoves Seth, almost hits the ref, Seth stops it, ref checking on ref, LOW BLOW!!! He clips the back of the knee!! A-Town Down! Cover! 1..2…3!!!!!
Winner: Austin Theory
Awesome. Just awesome. Hard fought, and Theory looked like a punk while still putting in the work necessary to put on a 20+ minute match. I don’t particularly like that the ref checked on the other ref when that just isn’t his job. Seth is, as per usual, amazing, and this was just a great way to end a pretty solid episode of RAW.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 23:35
End Show
