Bellator 149: Yeah, We Should Probably Feel Bad

The Daytona 500 didn’t offer much in the way of fiery car wrecks this past weekend, but the world of MMA certainly delivered in that department on Friday night.

Yeah. That was the best intro line I could come up with. I have no regerts.

It was actually a really busy weekend for MMA, as all the major promotions came out guns blazin’, ready to capture the attention of the masses. Saturday saw World Series of Fighting present WSOF 28, highlighted by Bantamweight Champion Marlon Moraes retaining his title by knocking out…some guy. Oh, and on Sunday, UFC came to Pittsburgh with a card that was topped with Donald Cerrone’s welterweight debut, which proved a successful one after The Cowboy submitted…some other guy.

And then Cerrone probably got fined for not wearing a Reebok branded cowboy hat or something.

Such a star studded weekend it was, but the real stars came out on Friday night, although, instead of shining and burning bright, these stars were very likely spelling out the end of days and the absolute destruction of all we hold dear, which will most likely be airing this fall on Spike.

Bellator 149 presented the continuation of President Scott Coker’s plan to bring in old school MMA fans, as well as the casual fans who don’t pay attention unless they’re given a good reason to.

The show started off giving fans something to get into, as Emmanuel Sanchez finished strong in a good showing against Daniel Pineda. Also Linton Vassell showed his improving style with a dominant win over former champion Emmanuel Newton. And Derek Campos looked extremely dangerous knocking out Mr. Explosive himself, Melvin Guillard.

But who cares about all that when we also had Kimbo?

Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about!

The co-main event was billed as a grudge match between two men who made their names beating up bums in alleyways while videotaping it for profit, I’m guessing by getting the videos aired on America’s Funniest Home Videos. I bet Bob Saget’s ever insightful commentary would have really livened up the horror of watching grown men getting bloodied in front of chain link fences.

Of course, to the MMA fan with any knowledge of the sport, what we really had here was Bellator paying an untrained fighter (DaDa 5000) to get inside a cage with a barely trained fighter (Kimbo Slice), both of whom have ridiculous nicknames, to do harm to one another for our amusement and/or bloodlust. The result of this was, predictably, horrendous, as the two huffed and puffed for over 11 minutes until Dada fell over.

Well, saying DaDa fell over is kind of an understatement. It was like he combined a Flair Flop with whatever it was Brock Lesnar did after Cain Velasquez punched him in the face at UFC 120. It was as over the top as everything else about this fight.

I know I shouldn’t make fun of DaDa. The fact that he literally almost died after the fight, going into cardiac arrest before being revived, is absolutely tragic to hear. The reports say the episode was caused by “high levels of potassium” in his system that was brought on due to “severe dehydration.” In other words, he almost killed himself making weight for this fight (he cut around 40 pounds to make 265) and the effects of such poor weight cutting attributed to him getting gassed immediately and almost getting killed.

Of course, that wasn’t the only reason he looked bad in the fight. Seeing how sloppy his punching exchanges with Kimbo were, as well as the fact the only offense he had was punching wildly and hoping for the best, it was clear he didn’t train for this fight. He didn’t treat this like the professional fight it was supposed to be and he almost died because of it. The fact that an athletic commission even gave this man a license to fight is bad enough. Disgusting, even. Show us some respect, DaDa.

Not that Kimbo was much better. He’s been training with Mike Brown and ATT down in Florida and that was the best he could do? He hasn’t improved at all since the Houston Alexander fight and that was over 5 years ago. He was smart in taking DaDa down and he had no issue getting mount but, once he had it, he couldn’t do anything. Has he learned nothing about ground fighting since he entered MMA? Not even one submission? Against a man who was the fighting equivalent of a fish gasping for air? All Kimbo knew how to do was breathe heavy and wait for “Big” John to stand him back up. That’s pathetic. Everything about this was pathetic.

That’s okay, though. What’s one little travesty when you have a main event as big as…Royce Gracie vs. Ken Shamrock? You mean the originals and not just young, hungry fighters who happen to have the same name? There were at least a dozen people claiming to be Royce in his entrance video…couldn’t one of them be the one fighting?

What about one of those lions at the beginning of Ken’s video? With the way the Houston crowd was cheering at the conclusion of the Kimbo-DaDa fight, I’m sure they would have been cool watching a lion rip something to shreds instead of watching two UFC Hall of Famers demonstrate why a legends class in MMA is one of the worst ideas ever. Please tell me it’s anything but that.

Please?

Actually, the main event wasn’t that bad, but only because it was really short. The “thrilling” conclusion to the first rivalry in North American MMA history ended when Royce drilled Ken with a knee to the head and followed it up with punches on the ground, giving the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu master his first win by knockout ever. The man didn’t even bother to tape his hands and he won with strikes.

Of course, the ending was controversial, as, before Royce hit Ken in the head, he landed a knee that appeared to hit Ken’s cup, but Ken’s delayed reaction to the groin shot made it difficult for the referee to see what happened so he could pause the action. Or the referee was just a blind dolt. Either way, the fight was stopped and Ken is demanding another fight, just like he did against Tito Ortiz.

It just doesn’t end…it’s never going to end…

I wish there was something positive to say about this show but there really isn’t. At best, it was a harmless night of action that will pop a rating but ultimately do little to grow the fanbase longterm and bring them back for more until another freakshow fight is booked (seriously, how many of the fans who watched on Friday even remember or care that there’s another show this Friday with title fights and relevant fighters?).

At worst, it was the latest, albeit biggest, thread coming undone in the very fabric of the sport’s integrity, as the top promoters’ desperation for grabbing the attention of the common folk leads to new lows and continues the sport down the road to becoming a joke of a circus sideshow that no one takes seriously and no one cares enough to support.

Is there really anything to worry about, though? Are we all overreacting to the war crimes we were just conscientious observers to? Possibly. Only time will tell what damage February 19, 2016 may have caused the sport, if any, but it definitely showed that, if the purpose of these tentpole events and “big name” fighters are to promote the brand and the actual decent fighters the company has, they need to figure out a more effective way to use one to promote the other.

Seriously, Galvao vs. Dantas 2 is on Friday. It’s going to be awesome and no one is talking about it. C’mon, Bellator. Don’t kill the sport. Please.

And, if this is the end, if Rome is indeed going to burn, can you at least get Mike Tyson to join on commentary? Who doesn’t agree that wouldn’t be the greatest idea ever?

I thought so.

Evan Zivin has been writing for 411 MMA since May of 2013. Evan loves the sport, and likes to takes a lighthearted look at the world of MMA in his writing…usually.