Movies & TV / Reviews
American Horror Story: Apocalypse Review – “Could it be…Satan?”
Loading...“Men are simply not equal to women when it comes to magical ability.” The gender divide thrives in this week’s episode of American Horror Story as we peer into the school days of Michael Langdon. He has a history with the men of the Hawthorne Academy, as well as the ladies of Miss Robichaux’s. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. So much to talk about this week. As always, here there be spoilers.
The opening scenes with a teenage Langdon and his new caregiver (Kathy Bates as the inspiration of the robotic Ms. Meade) are delightful. She cheerfully relays the death of her last husband. Well, her last three actually, because “If something isn’t working, it’s best to just cut the cord.” We know Michael internalized this philosophy. The people we met in the first few eps are mostly dead now. The human Meade was a Laveyan Satanist. We know this because The Satanic Temple eschews belief in all things supernatural. Ms. Meade, you can’t just waltz into your local grocery and ask for a goat’s head. They’ll look at you weird, um…I’ve heard. Watch for them to end their prayer with “Nema” or Amen spelled backward. Profane, right?
She’s clearly a loving caregiver to Michael. But why was she needed? What happened to Constance? Why does Michael say everyone he loved had betrayed him? Vivienne loved him too, she just died is all. Constance was a difficult woman, and older too. But I have a hard time believing that she would openly betray her own grandson (remember, Michael’s dad was ghostly Tate Langdon, who was Constance’s son and Addy’s brother). Then again, kids can see betrayal in a lot of things. I love that knowing her backstory gives robotic Meade a sense of her place and purpose in the world. But it’s a little unnerving that a robot needs that. Turing test anyone?
The women who woke up are Mallory, Coco, and Dinah—all witches. Myrtle Snow references an “Identity spell” that had been placed on them. So, we have Coco, who doesn’t care about anything and just doesn’t want to die again. There’s Mallory, who is wicked powerful and demands to know what the hell is going on. Then there’s Dinah, who is a cross between Switzerland and your annoying online friend who “tries not to get political.” Understandable given the climate, but come on. We do get that fun flashback where Zoe is teaching classes (but isn’t around in present day—so what the hell happened to her?). Mallory—or whatever her real name is now—is whip-ass powerful. She appeared to turn rose petals into actual living butterflies, albeit briefly. Neat! Raising the dead is one thing, but creating life from pieces of something non-sentient? Wow.
Lots of wowing to be had this week. Remember that the facility that is now called Outpost Three was once Hawthorn Academy for boys. Not just boys—Warlocks. There’s some debate about the term Warlock, and whether it refers to simply a male witch or if there’s a more sinister connotation. JK Rowling seemed to agree with the negative connotation since her male witches are called wizards. Then there’s Julian Sands. These guys seem a little iffy on morals, but it’s hard to tell. In the world of magic, men are the oppressed gender so we can forgive them for getting a little emotional.
The warlock council is made up of a Grand Chancellor, Ariel (Jon Jon Briones), John Henry Moore (Cheyenne Jackson), plus BS Wong and Billy Porter as the other two dudes. They’re all pretty stoked to find out about young Langdon, about three years before the end of the world. These fellas, gosh bless ’em, believe that there might be an Alpha (lulz on the terminology here) who is a mythical male bestowed with powers even greater than the female Supreme. It’s cute that the previous Supreme was played by Langdon’s grandmother—Jessica Lange. That’s what happens with such an incestuous cast. I mean, we’re pretty sure two Evan Peters characters had sex in Ep2, but I digress.
If Michael is actually stronger than the Supreme, that could mean a toppling of the current power structure and men actually gaining control. Wouldn’t THAT be something? A world where men are in power. Langdon crushed his test, which included scrying, salare per spatium (or apparition, for Harry Potter fans), and stiricedium which involves an understanding of magic and nature. This seems oddly similar to what “Mallory” did with the rose and petals. That feels like something we’ll come back to later on.
The fellas have some decent points. We learn that after Cordelia Fox outed witches to the world, some locals burned down Hawthorne Academy forcing the guys and their really cool ties to move underground. There are a few things to keep in mind:
* Cordelia’s refusal to test Michael seems to come from genuine remorse over the fate of Misty Day.
* How choked up were we to see Queenie trapped at the Cortez, playing cards with a serial killer?
* Madison’s hell is perfect. Retail workers in the house, say Hahahahahahaha! The “I want to speak to your manager” lady was perfect.
It’s not necessarily bad news that Michael was able to save Queenie from the Hotel Cortez even though Cordelia couldn’t. I mean, if Satan himself extinguishes the light from which they get their powers, sure. But pulling Madison out of hell? Really? That’s bad news, and he knows that because Michael clearly has a penchant for evil, mischief, violence, and mayhem. His calm demeanor belies this, which is one of the more interesting things about him. All that said, Madison being so miserable that she throws her arms around Queenie was pretty funny, as was Queenie’s rebuff. But Cordelia passing out at her realization of Michael’s power? That is not good. Notice too that Queenie went running to help her Supreme, and Madison didn’t. Where’s Queenie in the present day?
The scene where the witches and warlocks are hashing things out has some wonderful dialogue. We learn that testosterone impedes access to the ethereal realm. There are accusations of racism. We hear things like “time’s up” and “you’re just afraid of our power.” The gender power struggle is real, and it’s a little uncomfortable to see these ladies so smug in their dominance. It’s also uncomfortable to see that Michael was able to sketch and find the Cortez just from eavesdropping on their meeting.
You know how I’ve been saying all season that I hate Michael Langdon’s character design? That cape though. After seeing his badass cape and clasps at the end of tonight’s ep, I take that back. Bigly. The music was also exceptional this week—probably because it was Coven flavored instead of picking out the worst 70s crap they could find and then repeating it ad nauseum.
This was, obviously, an exceptional episode that gave us all the stuff we tune in for. Comedy, violence, comeuppances, and sisters doing it for themselves. Langdon, who is still probably the antichrist despite his protestations, is growing on me. I certainly prefer the short hair to the Lestat ‘do. Is it likely that he’s the antichrist but doesn’t know? Damien Thorn didn’t find out until he was in high school, just saying.
So, what don’t we know? We don’t know why Zoe isn’t with the rest of the witches. As a member of the council, she should be. How is Myrtle alive? We’ve seen her die twice already. Who is Mallory (and Dinah and Coco for that matter, though I don’t care nearly as much about Coco) and why is she so mega powerful? Could she be the next Supreme? Wouldn’t that put a ticking clock on Cordelia? Where’s Brock? He’s probably still somewhere around Outpost Three, ready to pop out when we least expect it. We’ll likely never find out who sent Timothy that warning, what with Timothy being dead and all…but it might have been Mallory’s other ego.
Speaking of which, Mallory is probably the reason that the plane landed safely in E1 despite not having any pilots. The ‘who is Rubberman’ question gets a little more complex now that we know Michael can remove people from the Cortez. Could it be that guy who’s a personification of addiction? It could be literally anyone. Wes Bently would be nice to see again.
Do this week’s developments mean that The Cooperative is the Warlock council? That would be fun, especially since I’m overjoyed to see BD Wong on American Horror Story. I had no idea he was coming. We’ve clearly got a solid conflict set up between Michael, a possible Alpha, and Cordelia and her coven. Why else would Myrtle lay down such a sick burn on Michael’s dinner jacket? Ha! Now that the Cortez has come back into play, we know that the Murder House can’t be too far off. With six eps remaining in the season, anything can happen.
Lemme hear your theories. What are you hoping will happen before the end? Will robot Meade be the last one standing, or will humanity find a way to pull through? Hail the new world!
See you’s next week!
