Chloe Dykstra Alleges Sexual and Emotional Abuse During Relationship With Chris Hardwick

Actress Chloe Dykstra has detailed claims of abuse at the hands of an ex-boyfriend which appears to be Chris Hardwick. Dykstra (Heroes of Cosplay, Diminuendo, “Wrestling Isn’t Wrestling”) wrote an open letter on her Medium account that was posted unlisted, in which she discussed her sexual and emotional abuse with a previous partner.

While Dykstra does not name the man that she was in a relationship with, her account includes details that almost certainly point to Hardwick. Dykstra notes that she began the relationship when she was in her early twenties and the boyfriend was almost twenty years older than her. She says that they were together for three years, describing the man as one who “grew from a mildly successful podcaster to a powerhouse CEO of his own company.” She also notes says that the relationship ended four years ago and describes an ectopic pregnancy. Hardwick is seventeen years older than Dykstra and began dating her in late 2011, when she was twenty-two to twenty-three. They stayed together until July of 2014, and Hardwick mentioned the pregnancy on the “Honestly 2013” episode of Hardwick’s Nerdist podcast in 2013. Hardwick began the podcast in 2010 and eventually grew into its own company, Nerdist Industries, in February of 2012. He sold Nerdist to Legendary Entertainment in July of that year.

In the essay, Dykstra talks about her ex-boyfriend quickly established controlling behavior including rules such as “I ‘should not want to go somewhere at night’…I was to not have close male friends unless we worked together…As he was sober, I was not to drink alcohol…I was not to speak in public places (elevators, cars with drivers, restaurants where tables were too close) as he believed that people recognized him and were listening to our conversations…I wasn’t allowed to take a photo of us.” She attributes her initial acceptance of the restrictive rules to believing he needed emotional support as he had just left his long-term girlfriend before they started dating.

Dykstra says that the ex also regularly sexually assaulted her, saying, “Regularly. I was expected to be ready for him when he came home from work … Every night, I laid there for him, occasionally in tears. He called it ‘starfishing.’ He thought the whole idea was funny. To be fair, I did go along with it out of fear of losing him…One night he initiated, and I said, “I’m so sorry, can we not tonight? I’m feeling really sick.” He responded, ‘I just want to remind you, the reason my last relationship didn’t work out was because of the lack of sex.’ It was a veiled threat. I succumbed.”

She goes on to say that her ex isolated her from friends and would yell at her regularly. He allegedly pressured her into taking a job with his company, something she wasn’t comfortable with, and says that she began to deteriorate emotionally and physically during the relationship. She notes that after getting surgery to end her ectopic pregnancy because it could have been fatal to her, her mother and ex were greeted by the doctor and the ex said, “That’s great. When do you think I can have sex with her again?” She notes, “It was his first question. My mother never forgot.”

After she ended the relationship with him, Dykstra says that he succeeded in getting her blacklisted by “[making] calls to several companies I received regular work from to get me fired by threatening to never work with them. He succeeded.” She says he was assisted by a friend who she had trusted, but who used that trust to destroy her personal relationships.

After having suicidal thoughts, Dykstra says, “With the help of a therapist, a psychiatrist, good people, plus a lot of hard work, I’ve managed to rebuild my life and I’m in a much better place. I’ve got a wonderful group of friends, a healthy career, a film I’m proud of, a show I’m proud of, two wonderful dogs, a house I own, and a bright future (at least, in my eyes).” She concludes that she is afraid that the letter will harm her career, noting, “It will probably hurt me now too, despite the #MeToo movement. We’ve come a long way, but we still have a ways to go.”

When addressing possible questions about why she would stay in such a relationship for that long, she said, “Here is my answer: I believed that, to borrow an analogy from a friend, if I kept digging I would find water. And sometimes I did. Just enough to sustain me. And when you’re dying of thirst, that water is the best water you’ll ever drink. When you’re alienated from your friends, there’s no one to tell you that there’s a drinking fountain 20 feet away. And when your self-worth reaches such depths after years of being treated like you’re worthless, you might find you think you deserve that sort of treatment, and no one else will love you.”

She adds that she has audio and video to back up many of her claims but has chosen not to release them at this time “for your sake, in the hopes that the person you’ve become will do the right thing.”

After Dykstra posted the article on Thursday night, it went viral on social media. Nerdist issued a statement which read, “Chris Hardwick had no operational involvement with Nerdist for the two years preceding the expiration of his contract in December 2017. He no longer has any affiliation with Legendary Digital Networks. The company has removed all reference to Mr. Hardwick even as the original Founder of Nerdist pending further investigation.”

Hardwick renamed his podcast from the Nerdist Podcast to ID10T earlier this year after his contract with Legendary finally expired. Hardwick’s AMC show Talking with Chris Hardwick premieres its second on Sunday. He is also the host of AMC’s Talking Dead, has an NBC show The Wall which was renewed for a third season in March, and has been announced as hosting the Doctor Who panel at San Diego Comic-Con. Reps for Hardwick, NBC and AMC have yet to comment on the story.

Dykstra has posted to her Twitter account twice since the article went public, thanking fans for their support and speaking in Nerdist’s defense. She also noted, “I may take some time off the internet” following her statements.

I quietly posted an article today, unlisted on Medium. It clearly made the rounds. I’m overwhelmed and I want to thank all of you for your support and kind words- they mean so much to me. I may take some time off the internet, please know your support means everything to me.

— Chloe Dykstra (@skydart) June 15, 2018

Before I take my break, I do want to address something re: the company he founded. As I understand it, the person has not been associated with that company for several years, and I hope that they will not suffer as a result of my essay. Be kind to them, they are good people.

— Chloe Dykstra (@skydart) June 15, 2018