Stew’s Buffy The Vampire Slayer Retrospective: Season 2, Episodes 9 & 10

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Episode 9

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox TV

Buffy, Willow, and Xander are at school filling out a test to decide what kind of job they will be best at. Is this a real thing? I see this in fiction a lot, but my school never did this. Also, it’s apparently optional here, as Buffy notes the principal is making her do it. See, man? This guy needs to be a good guy. He’s clearly driving her to be her best!

Remember that book that Fart helped Spike get from Giles’ library? Well Spike does! He has a minion named Dalton trying to decipher it. Drusilla is weaker than ever. She is playing tarot cards and pulls a picture of the mausoleum they need to go to. That is a specific tarot deck!

At said crypt, Buffy sees Dalton stealing a thing. She is attacked by a minion vampire and kills him, but Dalton uses the distraction to abscond with his ill-begotten gains.

When Buffy gets home, Angel is hanging out in her bedroom. Buffy complains about wanting a normal life, and she refers to Angel as her boyfriend for the first time. I mean… she already said she loves him, so I guess that’s fair. They talk about Buffy’s apparent affinity for ice skating and agree to go on a skating date.

The scores for the job test are in! Xander is perfect for the role of a prison guard. Buffy is determined as a good fit for law enforcement. Buffy The Vampire Slayer is copaganda! I knew it! Willow does not have results.

It turns out that what Dalton stole is a cross, though none of the vampires seem particularly bothered by it, even though the show has proven vamps get hurt by looking at any cross, even if someone isn’t, I guess, wielding it. Spike wants Buffy out of the way! He is going to summon… THE ORDER OF TERAKA! Everyone is very scared of this. It’s overkill! I mean: what purpose is it supposed to serve if not this? To fight wars?

At job fair day, Willow is pulled aside for being extraordinarily bright! She is getting to meet with a software mogul. Only two kids out of the, what, 57 at Sunnydale that aren’t dead get to meet with this mogul. Oz is the other.

Buffy and Giles go to the mausoleum and find out the item stolen was from the tomb of the same man who wrote the book that was stolen.

The ancient book of vampire lore and legends.

That was stolen from the library.

Was written by a guy.

Who lived and was buried in Southern California.

Ancient Southern California.

Buffy gets an ice skating montage! A big, ugly dude attacks her and tosses her around. Angel intervenes, but the guys tosses him around, too. Buffy spin kicks and slices his throat with her skate blade! That is a pretty rad death, let’s be honest.

The team puts together that the guy that attacked Buffy was from The Order Of Teraka based on the ring he wore. Giles advises Buffy to go into hiding! Apparently the Order never stops once it has been assigned a target. So I suppose we can look forward to these people attacking Buffy until Spike specifically calls them off, right?

We see that one of the Order people has moved into the house next door to Buffy. He is made of worms!

We see where Angel lives for the first time: in a beautifully decorated underground apartment! I’m pretty sure he has a big vanity mirror, and I hope I’m misremembering that because, you know… vampire. A scared Buffy curls up in the fetal position in his bed. So she really DID go into hiding? I dig that; it humanizes our hero.

At a bar somewhere, Angel apparently has an informant named Willie, who is one of those “Oh, THAT guy” actors (Saverio Guerra). Angel’s about to beat some info out of him when a girl attacks him and locks him up in Bar Jail. Why does every building in Sunnydale have a prison cell?

Giles tells Xander over the phone to have Cordelia drive him somewhere, AND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE CORDELIA DRIVING SUBPLOTS! Xander, talking to Corelia, refers to the team as “The Scooby Gang” for the first time, finally answering where that nickname I’d heard of came from. Worm guy visits them from next door.

The girl that beat up Angel visits Buffy in his home and attacks. She calls herself Kendra… The Vampire Slayer!

TO BE CONTINUED! SO DRAMA. MUCH SUSPENSE.

Episode 10

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox TV

Buffy and Kendra come to an uneasy truce and agree to go talk to Giles. Kendra seems to know a LOT more about slaying than Buffy does, especially in regards to the rules and protocol and what-have-you. She even knows Angel was once the evil being Angelus.

In our subplots, we see Willie rescue Angel from Death By Sunlight in bar jail… only to deliver him to Spike in exchange for money. It turns out that Angel has to die during the full moon to repower Dru. Until then, she gets to play with him. Which means sex or torture, I bet! And at Buffy’s house worm guy traps Xander and Cordelia in the basement. They duct tape the door gap to stop the worms from coming through.

Kendra already knows about The Order Of Teraka because she is a big reader. Giles, of course, loves this and is a fan of hers. This makes Buffy slightly jealous.

Cordy and Xander start having a big spat in the basement when they have no idea what to do to escape. They do that thing you see in fiction where two characters who hate each other call each other a bunch of names and then kiss. Cordelia, do better. They freak out from the kiss, damn the danger, and rush out the basement door. Worm guy dumps a bunch of worm of Cordy, but Xander sprays her off with a hose, then she DRIVES AWAY!

Worm Guy is worthless, y’all. He is just many worms. Not even super worms! It’s like when you were a kid and asked your buddy, “Who would win: A human or 10,000 worms?”

Oz talks to Willow about the tech mogul, and it seems neither has any interest in this off-screen offer. Then why bring it up, show?! You had 100 ways to get Oz and Willow to talk. This mogul thing better pay off! Buffy goes to cop training or whatever, and the cop shoots at her! It’s the Order Or Baraka! Oz takes a bullet in the arm pushing Willow to safety. Kendra chases the lady cop off.

They go into the library, and Kendra is SUPER disapproving of Buffy having friends who know she is a slayer. This secret identity crap makes even less sense than when Spider-Man does it. She is also extremely awkward around Xander. Maybe she smells Cordy’s lip balm on him?

Giles has figured out the ritual. You remember? The ritual for which they had neither the book nor the key needed to even read the book they don’t have? THAT ritual? Giles just fucking worked it out on his own anyway. How did he do it? The same way everyone on this show does what they need to.

EFFORTLESSLY.

Kendra does not want to save Angel, which at least gives Xander a fun line: “Angel’s our friend! Except I don’t like him”.

Dru and Angel are in her bedroom. It’s NOT sex! It’s just torture. She is splashing him with holy water. Spike comes in and Angel tries to anger Spike into killing him by saying he could never satisfy Dru like Angel used to, but Spike sees through it.

Kendra and Buffy spend some time bonding! Between this scene and my wife explaining things to me, I get the backstory that’s confusing me: Kendra is more knowledgeable than Buffy because Slayers are SUPPOSED to be taken in by their watcher as children and trained. But Buffy… wasn’t. So Kendra has been training for a lot longer than Buffy, even though her Slayer powers kicked in after Buffy’s (when Buffy “died” in Season One at the hands of The Master). Now I know things and have nothing to complain about!

FOR NOW.

Buffy and Willow go try to beat some info out of Willie. They disagree over what to do next, so Buffy goes with Willie, and Kendra goes off to see Giles. Willie, of course, takes Buffy straight to The Order Of Pterodactyl. They take her in to give to Spike mid-ritual. Kendra and the Scooby Gang busts in, allowing Buffy to break up the ritual. Fight scenes unsue!

Buffy throws a torch at the abandoned church’s pile of oily rags, setting everything ablaze. Amidst the fire, she knocks down the pipe organ, burying Spike and Drusilla.

It’s time for all the epilogues for this two-part extravaganza!

-Oz and Willow flirt a bit.

-Xander and Cordelia bicker and then kiss again. I hate this subplot! Xander does not deserve happiness. I’d be lying if I said they never alluded to this direction, but I REALLY did not think they would do it.

-Kendra hops on the next flight home and thanks Buffy for what she learned from her. So Kendra lives, huh? I never heard of this character, so I thought she would die.

Dru powers out of the rubble. She was part of the ritual long enough–even though Angel did not die–to at least get SOME strength back. She vows to protect and nurse Spike back to health just like he did for her.

And that’s that!

Boy, guys… I really have no interest in, we’ll call it, Xandelia. But I know it can’t be too long lived, so at least there is that. That’s my major takeaway from this two-parter: Cordelia really needs saving!

Until next time… take care!