100 Percent Fordified: CHIKARA Scornucopia

Easton, PA – 11.20.2010

Commentary is provided by Gavin Loudspeaker, Ultramantis Black, Tim Donst, Bryce Remsburg, & Leonard F. Chikarason.

Gavin Loudspeaker opens the show with a parody of “I Love Rock & Roll” where Gavin talks about his love for Rock & Roll, and his hatred for Michael Cole, MTV, and TNA. Seriously, Gavin’s songs add an element of fun to the shows. What other company would do something like this?

3.0 are backstage. Matthews says they had a bit of a “challenger’s hangover”, but are back from vacation. He says that Leonard F. Chikarason called them and told them they had Los Ice Creams tonight. Matthews says he was told they were going to face them in a cage match and that everyone hates ice cream. Jagged sets him straight, saying how it won’t be a cage match and that they actually like ice cream. Jagged says tonight that they get hungry and will forget their manners. Wink Vavasseur and Mr. ZERO come up and Matthews is still unhappy that ZERO beating them back at Tag World Grand Prix 2006. So much so that he gets in his face and says he wants him inside of a steel cage! Wink suggests they team up to be Team Two Point Zero. Jagged tries to explain that they’re 3.0 now and denies Wink’s request. All four people say BOO YA at once to end the promo. Matthews reiterates his desire to face ZERO in a steel cage.

3.0 (Scott “Jagged” Parker & Shane Matthews) vs. Los Ice Creams (El Hijo del Ice Cream & Ice Cream Jr.)

3.0 is sporting new gear, which half of looks like Metal Master’s tights. 3.0 upset a child in the front row, but make him feel better with the help of a Green Ant replica mask. Jagged looks for a finger lock but Hijo slaps him down. Jagged kicks Hijo to the floor. Hijo goofs around before coming back in with Matthews. Hijo applies a wristlock, but Matthews flips him over to the mat. Matthews flips Hijo over again. Hijo gets upset and stomps around the ring and ringside area. A small child touches Hijo’s cone and he falls down. Hijo and Junior look to start a fight with the kid but Jagged protects him. The kid actually starts crying. Of all the matches in CHIKARA to make a kid cry, it’s this one? I would have never guessed. Hijo says he’s sorry (in Spanish, of course) and shakes the kid’s hand. Hijo looks to shake Matthews’ hand as well. Hijo instead applies a headlock and punches Matthews in the face. Hijo bails to the floor andJagged chases him. Hijo takes refuge behind a kid in an Ophidian mask. Jagged tells the kid to punch Hijo, and a frightened Hijo runs into Junior’s arm. After a bit of stalling, Junior throws Jagged down to the mat. 3.0 whip Junior to the corner and hit him with some double team offense. Matthews hits a beautiful dropkick. He snapmares Junior for two. Junior big boots Jagged down and tags in Hijo. They double team Jagged in their corner. Hijo pulls at Jagged’s face while taunting Matthews. Junior does the same. Jagged takes down both members of Los Ice Creams. He tags in Matthews who takes Junior down with three headscissors and knocks Hijo off the apron twice. 3.0 brings in the fan with the Ophidian mask, and he helps 3.0 pin Los Ice Creams in a dogpile for the win at 14:29. There’s some matches you just don’t rate; this is one them. Besides, if you’re looking for wrestling moves and analysis, you picked the wrong match. When I see 3.0 vs. Los Ice Creams, I expect two things: fun and silliness. In that aspect, this match delivered. N/R

Buck Hawke is backstage. He says he’s done nothing since he left CHIKARA and he will take out all of his pent up aggression on Dasher Hatfield.

Dasher Hatfield vs. Buck Hawke

Hawke has not colored in his chest tattoo since we last saw him. Hatfield powers him to the corner and breaks cleanly.Hawke pitches an invisible ball to Hatfield and Hatfield invisibly knocks it out of the park. Hawke throws an invisible hard ball and rams Hatfield’s head into the corner multiple times. Hawke pokes Hatfield in the eyes. Hatfield runs up the ropes to reverse a wristlock. Hawke has some difficulty nipping up, so Hatfield kindly lends him a helping hand. Hatifled then trips Hawke back down and kicks him in the face. Hawke avoids a baseball slide and hits a reverse STO. Hatfield kips up and superkicks Hawke to the floor. Hatfield hits a baseball slide. Hawke whines to the audience members as Hatfield calls him chicken. Hawke, insulted by Hatfield’s remarks, returns to the ring. Hatfield avoids a double axe handle and puts Hawke up top. Hawke blocks the Grand Slam and takes Hatfield off the middle rope with a lung blower for two. Hawke snapmares Hatfield into a seated dropkick for two. Hatfield looks for a dropkick out of the corner, but Hawke catches his legs and throws him down to the mat. Hatfield hits a couple underhanded strikes before Hawke hits a forearm. Hawke hits a springboard elbow to a seated Hatfield in the corner. Hawke misses a top rope senton, and Hatfield cradles him for two. Hawke hits Hatfield in the face with a double axe handle. Hawke is amazed he actually hit it. This could be the first time he hit the axe handle in CHIKARA, I’ll have to check. Hatfield blocks a second axe handle and hits a flipping neckbreaker. Hatfield backdrops Hawke after a few armdrags for a two count. Hatfield blocks the Tomahawke and drops Hawke with the Suicide Squeeze for the pin at 8:45. Hawke got a nice re-introduction into CHIKARA and I think he could fit in nicely were he to return full time. Hatfield got to show off his skills while keeping Hawke competitive at the same time. Fun stuff. **1/4

Grizzly Redwood comes out to congratulate Dasher. He also congratulates Dasher for beating Brodie Lee last month in Easton. Grizzly adds that Dasher was unable to beat him last month. Just then, Brodie Lee comes out. Grizzly slaps Brodie as they go face to face. Brodie Lee turns around and big boots Dasher! Grizzly says he and Brodie are no joke, and they leave together. It’s look as if the Roughnecks are reuniting. Sugar Dunkerton comes out to check on his fallen partner. Dasher is now bleeding from the nose.

We go backstage to the Soul Touchaz and Sugar Dunkerton. C-Red, the Soul Touchaz manager says he’s assembled the greatest team tonight. Dunkerton says that the BDK have run through CHIKARA doing whatever they want, but notes that their foundation is crumbling. Dunkerton says that once the BDK collide with the “S&S Express”, they’ll be left in shambles. Sugar Dunkerton said it with a lot more pizazz and color then I did; that guy is a natural talker.

Jakob Hammermeier is back doing ring announcing for the BDK. He now has added a leg cast to his neck brace and arm sling. Poor guy can’t catch a break.

Sugar Dunkerton and The Soul Touchaz (Marshe Rockett, Acid Jaz, & Willie “da Bomb” Richardson) vs. Die Brüderschaft des Kreuzes (Ares, Tursas, Pinkie “Pink Ant” Sanchez, & Daizee Haze)

C-Red and Dymond accompany The Soul Touchaz and Sugar Dunkerton. An all out brawl starts the match off. The fight spills out to the floor. Marshe Rockett chops Sanchez so hard, he flies into the crowd. They make their way into the ring where Rockett hits a dropkick and legdrop for two. Rockett hits a powerslam for two. Rockett boots Ares off the apron. Tursas comes in and splashes Rockett on the back, transitioning into a full nelson variant on the mat. The BDK maul Rockett in their corner illegally. After a lengthy beatdown, Rockett avoids a splash from Tursas in the corner and hits him with a lungblower. He hits Ares with an enzuigiri and sends Haze to the floor. Dunkerton tags in and nails Sanchez with a series of haymakers. He hits a big backdrop. Sanchez goes up top and Dunkerton meets him with a slap. Dunkerton gives him a rope assisted TKO and DDT. Sanchez rolls to the floor, and Ares drops Dunkerton with a Blue Thunder Bomb. Jaz comes in with a crossbody. He hits his famous legdrop/spinaroonie fist drop combo for two. Haze goes up top with Dunkerton in the ring. Dunkerton says he got over his crush, catching her in a crossbody. Dunkerton sets her down and throws Sanchez into her and Ares. Richardson tags in and splashes them in the corner. He sends Sanchez and Ares to the floor. Haze bails to the floor, but Dymond throws her back into the ring. Tursas stops Richardson from giving Haze a pounce. Both men try shoulder blocks at the same time. They each try a crossbody, and Sanchez springboard dropkicks Richardson into Tursas. They both go to the floor, allowing Jaz to come in and kick Sanchez in the face for two. Sanchez drops Jaz with a bodyscissors DDT while Tursas and Richardson fight on the floor. Sanchez lionsault’s into the M-80 from Rockett. Rockett pins Sanchez for the win at 14:45. The Soul Touchaz having the BDK’s number every time they square off is a really fun story, and I love that they have gotten such a significant push these past few months. I’m looking forward to the big pay off for this feud, whatever that will end up being. As for the match itself, the action was all over the place. Dunkerton looked better than ever, but there was more than a few times where people hesitated too long before executing a move. The heat segment in the beginning also lasted a bit too long. I think if they had expedited the match or hit their spots with more confidence, it would’ve come off much better. **3/4

Lince Dorado and Tim Donst are backstage. Donst gets Dorado hyped up for his Young Lions Cup match tonight, and says he will make sure Dorado gets his “perfect win”.

Young Lions Cup Championship
Frightmare (Champion) vs. Lince Dorado

BDK official, Derek Sabato, will be the referee for this match. He’s also wearing glasses, which seems silly for a wrestling match. Dorado dropkicks Frightmare before he can get in the ring. Dorado stomps on Frightmare back in the ring. Dorado rolls through a wheelbarrow armdrag. He hits a springboard crossbody. Frightmare rolls up into an armdrag. Frightmare gains momentum off the ropes and hits a step-up Frankensteiner. Donst calls for a “time out” which Sabato allows. Dorado tries a sneak attack, but Frightmare evades it. He hits a pop-up clothesline. Hallowicked comes out to even the sides when Sabato doesn’t allow Frightmare to call a time out. Frightmare sends Dorado to the floor, and Donst grabs Frightmare’s leg. Dorado sends Frightmare to the floor and follows up with a dive. Dorado gets a fast two count back in the ring. Frightmare rolls up Dorado for a pin, but Sabato takes the time to clean his glasses instead of counting the pin. Dorado hits a senton for two. Frightmare hits a spike hurricanrana. Frightmare hits Dorado with a flying clothesline and a reverse hurricanrana. Dorado rolls to the floor and Frightmare follows with a tope con hilo. Back in the ring, Frightmare rolls up Dorado’s shoulders into a DDT. Sabato takes a phone call from Tim Donst instead of counting Frightmare’s pinfall. Yes, Tim Donst, who is ringside, calls Derek Sabato on his cell phone specifically to prevent a pinfall. Dorado rolls up Frightmare, and Frightmare kicks out even with the fast count. Hallowicked takes Donst to the back. Frightmare hits a jump-up neckbreaker for two. Wink Vavasseur paces around ringside, making Sabato visibly nervous. Dorado gets his feet up to block a kneecolepsy. Dorado gets a two count, and Sabato’s count is noticeably more regular. Dorado reverses a crossbody from Frightmare into a Michinoku Driver. Dorado hits a shooting star press for two. Dorado locks in the Inverted CHIKARA Special. Frightmare grabs the ropes to break the hold. Frightmare hits a crucifix bomb and a pump-handle driver for two. Frightmare hits the kneecolepsy for the pin at 11:10. You know how a lot of gaijin go to Dragon Gate and come back more polished? That’s how I felt about these two now that they have gone to Osaka Pro. These two put together a really fun, well-paced, exciting match. The other players involved added a lot to the story; Sabato especially played his role really well. Tthe in ring action was some of the best you’ll see out of either guy this year. ***1/2

”Blast From The Past” Atomicos Match
Ultramantis Black, Mr. ZERO, Dragonfly, & Jolly Roger vs. Icarus, Lance Steel, Rorschach, & Darkness Crabtree

Icarus bails to the floor immediately to avoid Mr. ZERO (Icarus was the one who put Mr. ZERO on the shelf many years ago). Crabtree instead starts off with ZERO. Crabtree moves very slowly, leaving ZERO confused as to what moves to utilize. He takes Crabtree over with an armdrag and rams his head multiple times into the corner. He whips Crabtree across the ring, which takes awhile, consdiering Crabtree walks very slowly. ZERO dropkicks Crabtree to the floor. Mantis and Steel tag in. Mantis’ attack is foiled by Steel’s chest plate. Mantis gives him an atomic and Manhattan drop before hitting a back elbow and hip toss. Icarus and Dragonfly tag in. They lock up and break cleanly in the corner (even though Icarus says Dragonfly pulled his hair). Dragonfly chops Icarus and monkey flips him. Dragonfly hits an armdrag and leaping back elbow. He dropkicks Icarus to the floor and follows with a tope con hilo. Rorschach and Roger tag in, engaging in a Lucha sequence. Roger sends Rorschach to the floor with a headscissors. Icarus prevents him from diving to the floor. We get a classic Michinoku Pro spin and jump spot. After that, we get a chain of submissions from everyone but Crabtree. He steals ZERO’s newspaper, breaking the chain. The Rudo squadron decides to isolate Roger and wear him down. Roger escapes by hitting a spin kick to Steel’s face and tagging in ZERO. He knocks down Icarus, Rorschach, and dropkicks Crabtree off the apron. He takes Steel down with a drop toe hold and applies a Camel Clutch while reading the newspaper. Icarus breaks it and puts on a headlock. Everyone but Crabtree forms a chain of headlocks. Crabtree hits Mantis with a stunner, effectively stunning all seven wrestlers. Mantis avoids a shiranui and drops Icarus with a Praying Mantis Bomb for two. ZERO hits Icarus with a German suplex. Crabtree hits the sweater assisted pedigree on ZERO, but Roger breaks the pin. Steel drops Roger with a Finlay Roll and hits a senton. Roger hits a leg-capture DDT. Rorschach breaks the pin. Dragonfly hits Rorschach with a tornado DDT. Dragonfly misses a top rope splash. Rorschach hits two Northern Lights suplexes, and ZERO prevents a pinfall. He ducks a joust from Steel. Steel backs him into the corner, allowing Icarus to try and rip his mask off. Mantis and Dragonfly stop him. We get a tower of doom spot, followed by Roger hitting Icarus with a frog splash for two. ZERO clotheslines Rorschach to the floor. ZERO and Roger are left alone with Icarus, until Steel takes Icarus to the floor. Roger looks to Walk the Plank. Icarus low blows Roger as Crabtree distracts Bryce Remsburg. Icarus hits the Blu-Ray DVD and pins Roger for the win at 17:51. This was a really fun novelty match, and I truly enjoyed seeing a lot of these guys again. I know that some of these guys still do wrestle, but I was still impressed with how little rust these guys showed. I’d love to see these guys come back and do something similar on an annual basis, or even more regular than that. For a CHIKARAphile like my self, this was a real treat. ***1/4

The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) vs. Obariyon & Kodama

Amasis and Kodama trade wristlocks. Amasis does a little dancing to escape. He slaps Kodama down. He tags in Ophidian, who hits a slingshot senton. Obariyon comes in and hits some hard forearms. Ophidian does a headstand in the corner, taunting Obariyon. He comes down, trapping Obariyon in a legged full nelson on the mat. Ophidian leans back on Obariyon’s neck. Kodama breaks the submission. Obariyon rakes Ophidian’s eyes and Kodama drops Ophidian’s neck on the top rope. Obariyon and Kodama continue to attack Ophidian, making frequent tags to keep themselves relatively fresh. Ophidian blocks the flying DDT, and evades a punch. Obariyon gets right back on Ophidian, but Ophidian hits a corkscrew dive onto Kodama after ducking a clothesline. Amasis tags in and hits Obariyon with a spinebuster. All four men slug it out on the floor. The Portal hit a tandem backdrop on Obariyon, then do the same to Kodama who lands on Obariyon. Amasis and Obariyon get back in the ring. Obariyon ducks a rolling forearm, and impressively comes out of the corner with a backcracker to Amasis. Now Amasis is the one to take the brunt of the beating from the diminutive demons. Amasis ducks a clothesline from Obariyon and hits him with a rolling forearm to prevent further damage. Ophidian tags in, but gets sent to the floor immediately by Kodama. Amasis drops the top rope so that Obariyon hits the floor. Amasis follows with a shoulder block off the apron. Ophidian flies in with double knees to Kodama. Ophidian hits a sick kick. Kodama knees Ophidian down, but misses a split-legged moonsault. Ophidian hits a top rope dropkick for two. Ophidian applies the Ophidian Death Grip. Kodama tries to break it, but can’t shake the snake. Obariyon breaks the hold and hits a Chaos Theory. Obariyon and Kodama each hit a variation of an elevated dropkick in the corner, and Amasis makes the save. Obariyon tags in. Amasis tries to fight both guys, but ends up eating a leg lariat from Kodama. Ophidian knocks Kodama down. He rolls out to tag in Obariyon. The Portal look for thei Pyramid suplex, but Kodama stops them. He hits Ophidian with a modified facebuster. Obariyon gives Amasis the flying DDT on the apron! Ophidian rolls Kodama up with a prawn hold for two. Kodama falls to the mat so that his feet are driven into Ophidian’s throat. Ophidian turns around and gets nailed by Obariyon’s flying DDT giving him and Kodama the win at 17:23. That flying DDT is getting over, and it’s a killer finish on top of that. The crowd didn’t seem to be as into this as I was hoping for, but both teams put on an excellent tag team match otherwise. Kodama and Obariyon are the guys to watch in 2011. They’ve had some great outings already and they’ve had less than five matches as a team in CHIKARA. ***1/4

Golden Dreams Elimination Match
Jigsaw, Hallowicked, Fire Ant, & Arik Cannon vs. Tim Donst, Vin Gerard, STIGMA, & Max Boyer

This is a “Golden Dreams” match since every participant has held the Young Lions Cup. Jigsaw and Donst start, vying for the advantage. Jigsaw gives him a few kicks and a chop to the chest before tagging in Fire Ant. Donst hits the floor, tagging in Gerard. Gerard looks for a handshake, saying they can put their past behind us. Gerard tries to kick him in the gut, but Fire Ant blocks and takes him down with a fireman’s carry. Fire Ant rolls into an armdrag. He sends Gerard to the floor with an armdrag after an awkward sequence. Donst knocks Fire Ant down, but then gets taken over with a fireman’s carry. Hallowicked comes in, as does STIGMA. He sends Hallowicked out, tagging in Cannon. STIGMA and Cannon each try a shoulder tackle but remain standing. Cannon takes him down and follows up with a couple armdrags. STIGMA goes to the floor and Cannon follows. Boyer and Hallowicked tag in. Like Icarus earlier, Boyer claims Hallowicked pulls his hair after breaking a lock-up cleanly. Boyer grabs at Hallowicked’s mask, and gets chopped for it. Hallowicked hits a step-up enzuigiri in the corner. Donst attacks Hallowicked in the corner from behind. We get the Dragon Gate spot, where the Rudos attack Hallowicked in the corner, with the last person (Gerard) missing. The Tecnicos then attack, but Gerard dropkicks Jigsaw’s leg out. The Rudos then trap Jigsaw in their corner, targeting his leg. Jigsaw kicks Boyer away and rolls to the floor to tag in Fire Ant. He hits Boyer with the Yahtzee Kick and a wheelbarrow stunner. Boyer throws Fire Ant to the floor. Boyer comes off the apron with a punch, and Cannon hits a pescado. We get a series of dives from the participants in the match. Finally, Bryce Remsburg himself comes off the top rope with a tope con hilo – you read that right! Bryce rolls back in and makes the count as everyone stands and cheers for his dive. Totally warranted. Fire Ant and STIGMA trade strikes in the ring. Donst comes in and hits Fire Ant with an STO for the pin at 13:08. Hallowicked comes in and gets in Donst’s face. They trade forearms. Hallowicked chops Donst until STIGMA attacks him from behind. He sends STIGMA packing with a step-up Frankensteiner. Gerard gives Hallowicked a 2k1 Bomb, Jigsaw gives Gerard a brainbuster, and Boyer gives Jigsaw a fisherman’s suplex. Cannon comes in and nails Boyer with a hard punch. He follows up with Total Anarchy and the Glimmering Warlock for the pin at 14:32. Donst runs in at hits Cannon with an STO, eliminating him at 14:41. Hallowicked schoolboys Donst to eliminate him at 14:51. Before leaving, Donst drops Hallowicked with an STO. Gerard capitalizes by pinning Hallowicked, but only gets two. The UnStable team up on Hallowicked. Hallowicked escapes a roll up and tags in Jigsaw. Jigsaw hits Gerard with a tornado DDT for two. Jigsaw sets up for a superkick. Gerard pushes Jigsaw into a German suplex from STIGMA for two. STIGMA looks for a facewash, but Hallowicked nails him with a yakuza kick. Gerard rolls up Hallowicked for two. Hallowicked nails Gerard witha yakuza kick. Hallowicked drops Gerard with the Rydeen Bomb to eliminate him at 18:39. STIGMA DDT’s Hallowicked and sets up for the Stigmata. Jigsaw superkicks STIGMA three times to pin STIGMA at 19:13, making Jigsaw and Hallowicked the sole survivors. Sloppiness and awkwardness plagued this match, which is befuddling considering the quality of the participants. I’m getting tired of CHIKARA elimination matches going forever without an elimination, and then having all of them come in such a short period of time. Also, I understand that you want to make it seem like any move could end a match, but a lot of the moves that led to a fall were ones the crowd didn’t get into. Especially after the amazing Golden Dreams match of last year, this one didn’t come close. Also, not enough Arik Cannon in this. He is great. **3/4

The 411: This show's a little tough to rate. The wrestling was hit or miss, although it featured a great Young Lions Cup matches, a super fun Atomico, and my boys Obariyon & Kodama delivering once again. The overall vibe of the show was more light-hearted and fun than most other shows this year, adding a unique feel. I for sure think this is a fun show, and any CHIKARA fans should get it. However, if you're looking for an introduction to the company, you're better off looking elsewhere. Be sure to check out all of my CHIKARA reviews over at The CHIKARA Special!

Final Score:  7.0   [ Good ]