wrestling / Columns
411Mania’s Squared Circle News Report 08.08.09
Welcome back inside the Squared Circle! How is everyone doing this week? I’m excited of course because tonight is UFC 101 with two great main events in BJ Penn vs. Kenny Florian and Anderson Silva vs. Forrest Griffin. This is of course the last PPV before the UFC comes to my hometown of Portland, Oregon for the first time! Of course I’ll be attending, but I won’t be able to make it until the PPV actually starts. Why? Because my cousin happens to be getting married that day and I’m actually going to forsake the preliminary fights (at least some of them) to attend her wedding. That’s pretty damn huge people! I currently write for one of the biggest MMA websites on the Internet, yet I’m willing to miss some UFC prelim fights to attend my cousins (who I haven’t seen in years BTW) wedding! Now THAT’s showing some love! Either way, buy UFC 101 tonight on PPV and enjoy the show. Trust me, it’s going to be awesome and well worth the money.
Did anyone else see the autopsy results for Billy Mays? It’s like a what’s what of things I wish I could get my hands on (kidding…..of course!). You want to know what this dude had in his system? He had Vicodin, oxycodone, Xanax, Valium, alcohol, anti-anxiety drugs, and FREAKIN cocaine! No wonder this guy was so excited to sell stuff. He was so doped up he had no idea what was going on. Now Michael Jackson’s addiction to anesthesia doesn’t look so bad…..does it?
Oh well, now on to some happier news…..like Jeff Jarrett banging Karen Angle!
LET’S GET IT ON!!!!!
(PS: For anyone who wants to purchase me some of this “Drank” stuff right here and have it mailed to my house. You would officially be considered my best friend!)
Biggest News Of The Week:
The Drama In TNA Continues……
As the TNA turns………
Two weeks ago we all found out about the drama involving Karen Angle possibly sleeping with Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle possibly wanting to “kill” Jarrett. Then last week it was revealed that Dutch Mantel and Savio Vega were released from TNA in what was widely considered “sending a message” to Jarrett. Now it’s being reported that Jarrett is likely to stay with TNA, but with a smaller role. However, Jarrett’s friends who are still with the company (B.G. James, Jim Cornette, Vince Russo, Don West, etc) are reportedly nervous that they could be the next to be released.
That’s a whole lot of information for someone to swallow. So why stop now? In some pretty sweet “backstage gossip” news, Kurt Angle reportedly told B.G. James to tell Jarrett that he was going to “beat his ass when I see him”. Jarrett then went to management but instead told them that Angle had threatened to “kill” him. Management then asked James and Homicide (who was around when Angle originally threatened Jarrett), but they only mentioned that Angle said he was going to beat his ass. So…not only does Jarrett pull a “bitch” move by sleeping with Angle’s ex-wife, now he’s going to management and possibly trying to get Angle in trouble. Hey, let’s ruin his life a little more!
TNA needs to hurry and nip this thing in the butt right now before it gets too out of hand. You shouldn’t have a minority owner in the company sleeping with ex-wives of current employees. It’s my personal belief that if it is revealed that Jarrett does indeed have some kind of relationship with Karen Angle, then the man needs to sell his stock as owner. Either that, or the company has to part ways with Kurt Angle. There is absolutely no way these two would be able to co-exist in the same company. I know….a few years back in the WWE, Edge stole Lita from Matt Hardy and the two were able to put it aside and work a program together. Yes, that’s all fine and dandy and everything. However, Angle is a crazy son of a bitch. I have a strange feeling that if Angle says he’s going to kick your ass…..he’s probably going to kick your ass.
I’m not actually sure what’s going to happen from here. For the time being it really looks like TNA is going to have to part ways with either Jarrett or Kurt Angle. Either that or have Jarrett still involved with the company in a much quieter role, preferably somewhere far far away from Angle. Angle has mentioned that he’s going to be in charge of creative. Is it just me or is this the BEST IDEA EVER? I’m pretty sure Angle has some wacky ideas up in that noggin of his and I for one would like to see them acted out by 45+ professional wrestlers. Perhaps Angle would finally set up that much anticipated LONG AWAITED rematch with Daniel Puder. Who doesn’t want to see that one? I mean, c’mon…….
Oh, that silly Daniel Puder. What a waste of a “Tough Enough” winner he was…….
Remember This Guy???
The “New” Midnight Express
Last week I chronicled the crapfest known as the “New” Rockers. Well, this week isn’t much better. As a matter of fact…some may consider it worse. For some strange unknown reason, Vince McMahon decided that he wanted his own version of the classic Midnight Express tag team in the WWE. You see, the original Midnight Express were one of the greatest tag teams of all-time. However, they never actually competed in the WWE, so McMahon must have been jealous that the greatness of the Express never graced the rings of the WWE. Therefore, Vince decided to put Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly together with Bart Gunn (because they are ALMOST as good as Bobby Eaton and Stan Lane) and the pair went on to become a huge joke. They were suppose to be members of the “NWA” who were invading the WWE at the time, but just like that stable….it was all one big failure. That reminds me, isn’t it about time we saw a “New” Tekno Team 2000? How about a “New” version of “Lo Down”? No? Are those terrible ideas or something?
Here, now you can join in my misery. It’s “Bombastic” Bob and “Bodacious” Bart vs. some jobber and Steve Corino. Yes, THAT Steve Corino……..
And just because it’s funny…… here’s Tekno Team 2000…..
Random News Bits:
– According to Kurt Angle, he’s in the running for a spot on the upcoming season of Dancing With The Stars. The cast is going to be announced later this month and it will be interesting to see if Angle isn’t lying for once. Whatever happened to that MMA career anyway?
– In the “Oh, so that’s where he’s been!” category….Ed “Brutus Beefcake” Leslie was set to take part in a worked Celebrity Boxing Show a few days ago. The only problem was it turned out NOT to be a work. Leslie’s opponent, Bill Simmons, reportedly sucker punched him and knocked him out in just 22 seconds. I don’t know what sucks more. The fact that “The Barber” ended up getting shafted and KTFO or the fact that I can’t seem to find footage of this event anywhere. If you happen to find it….please don’t be shy.
– Here’s your current line-up for SummerFest. It’s looking like it’ll be a pretty decent show. Especially if they went ahead and added Big Show vs. Shaquille O’Neal (!):
*Randy Orton vs. John Cena – WWE Championship
*Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk – World Heavyweight Title
*Big Show/Chris Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme – WWE Unified Tag Titles
*Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler – WWE IC Title
– Apparently the reason that THE Brian Kendrick was released from the WWE was due in part to his habit of puffing the weed. The WWE had reportedly told him (and the rest of the staff) that failed marijuana tests would no longer be tolerated. While a failed marijuana test constitutes a $1000 fine and not a suspension, the WWE doesn’t want their employees to partake in any activities that may force their employees to get “creative”. Oh, and the funniest part of the story is that John Laurinaitis told Kendrick that the reason he was being released was because of the bad economy. C’mon Johnny Ace…I know you can come up with a better excuse then that. The good news is, now Kendrick has extra time to visit extremely “weed friendly” places like Humboldt County. Not that I would know anything about that though……
– In related news, Kendrick will wrestle for Dragon Gate USA on September 6 at the Chicago Theatre. An opponent has yet to be announced, What the hell is Paul London doing on September 6?
– Lillian Garcia’s contract expires on August 31, meaning her last two shows with the WWE will be SummerSlam and the Vegas RAW on the 24th. I’m sure going to miss Lillian. At first I was not a big fan of Lillian’s hiring, however she has now been with the WWE for so long (10 years!) and RAW is really going to sound different without her. PLEASE DON’T GO LILLIAN~!
– The WWE has had to cancel the upcoming house show on December 27 in Reading, Pennsylvania due to a scheduling conflict. I’m not sure how, but I think the Denver Nuggets are behind this in some way shape or form.
– During a recent interview with Sky Sports, Kane stated that he could be facing the Great Khali at SummerSlam. Oh boy, color me with a happy crayon. Expect this match to be around 7 minutes long with A LOT of stalling (if it goes down that is)…….
– Here is the updated card for TNA’s Hard Justice show:
*X-Division #1 Contender’s Steel Asylum Match
*Mick Foley vs. Kevin Nash – TNA Legends Title
*Samoa Joe vs. Homicide – X-Division Title
*Beer Money vs. British Invasion – IWGP Tag Team Titles
*ODB (w/Cody Deaner) vs. Angelina Love (w/Velvet Sky) – TNA Knockouts Title
*Team 3D vs. Scott Steiner & Booker T – TNA Tag Team Titles
*Kurt Angle vs. Sting vs. AJ Styles or Matt Morgan – TNA World Title
That’s actually shaping up to be a nice looking card. Let’s hope they can manage to put together a good show with all the backstage crap that’s been going down recently.
– Jeremy Piven appeared on Live With Regis & Kelly a few days ago and told everyone that he has not heard from Dr. Ken since he took that nasty bump on RAW, courtesy of John Cena. That means that Dr. Ken is MIA! Well, apparently Cena thought that guest host’s Piven and Dr. Ken were just as awful as everyone else did and wanted to take some aggression out on these mofos! Now I’m a HUGE Entourage fan as well as a HUGE Ari Gold fan, but if Piven never appears in the WWE again…..that’ll be too soon.
(Credit goes to The Wrestling Observer for the above news!)
Wrestling Top 10 Lists:
Top 10 SummerSlam Matches of All-Time
SummerSlam is almost here and that means it’s time for me to do a TON of SummerSlam-related top ten’s! I’ll be starting off with the list of MY top 10 SummerSlam matches of all-time. Next week, I’ll do whatever the hell I want….but I’m always open to suggestions.
This list IS IN a particular order……
Honorable Mentions:
Lance Storm vs. Edge – SummerSlam 2001
HHH vs. Steve Austin vs. Mankind – SummerSlam 1999
Owen Hart vs. Ken Shamrock – SummerSlam 1998
AND NOW….THE TOP 10!
10) Steve Austin vs. Owen Hart – SummerSlam 1997
This is the famous match where Owen Hart BROKE Steve Austin’s neck and Austin was never the same after it. Not only was this match a pretty good wrestling match before the screwed up ending, but since it has the historical significance of being THE match that ruined Austin’s career it makes it mean that much more. Going down this list you’ll notice that the Hart family makes A LOT of appearances here. If WrestleMania was Hogan’s event, then SummerSlam was definitely the Hart’s event…….
9) Shawn Michaels vs. Vader – SummerSlam 1996
No one knew what to expect with this match, but leave it up to Shawn Michaels who happens to have the uncanny ability of being able to work with the big guys. It also doesn’t hurt that Vader is an amazing worker for someone his size. Either way, this was a pretty good match. One funny thing about the match is that Vader was suppose to go over and become the WWE champion, but Michaels whined to Vince about the finish and it got switched. Man, I MISS the “Kliq”!
8) Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart – SummerSlam 1991
Any time you get these two in the ring together you are almost always guaranteed an instant classic. “Mr. Perfect” was one of the guys who clicked tremendously with Bret Hart. Perfect was just always able to get the best out of Hart and really proved it with their match here.
7) Steve Austin vs. Kurt Angle – SummerSlam 2001
Steve Austin and Kurt Angle not only had tremendous chemistry in their backstage segments, but the two could tear it up when they met in the ring. Perhaps there is no better evidence of that then their match at SummerSlam 2001. While 2001 in the WWE may remind everyone of the tragedy that was known was “The Invasion” (UGH!), I try to remember the good times such as Angle and Austin playing “cowboys” in the locker room…..oh, and of course their awesome match at SummerSlam 2001.
6) The Rock vs. HHH – SummerSlam 1998
SummerSlam 1998 was a tremendous event. It just so happened to fall smack down in the middle of the entire “Attitude” era and the reason it remains one of my favorite events to this day is because I attended a “SummerSlam party” for this event that consisted of people who didn’t even watch wrestling on a regular basis. That’s how popular the WWE was at this time! HHH was a HUGE babyface during this ladder match as a member of DX. The Rock was a member of the Nation of Domination and was hated by EVERYONE…..except me that is! One reason I remember this match really well is the fact that I was the only one in the house cheering for The Rock and I remember how exciting the entire thing was! It’s times like these that make me miss the “Attitude era”.
5) Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon – SummerSlam 1995
There’s something magical that happens when you have Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, and a ladder all in the same ring at the same time. I don’t know if it’s because Michaels is a tremendous worker, Hall is a tremendous character, or that the ladder is willing to bump for anyone….but when you get Hall and HBK together on a ladder, great times are bound to happen! It makes me wonder what would happen if I invited these two over to paint my house sometime. Perhaps I’d get a third instant classic right in front of my house!
4) Chris Jericho vs. Chris Benoit – SummerSlam 2000
(I won’t comment on this choice due to the people who are still a little “soft” on the whole Chris Benoit thing…….but still………GET OVER IT!)
3) Edge & Christian vs. The Hardy Boyz vs. The Dudley Boys – SummerSlam 2000
Ahh yes! TLC! TLC! TLC! Who doesn’t’ love this match? Much like their Wrestlemania encounter, these three lived up to the hype. There’s just something great that happens when you get Edge, Christian, The Dudley’s, and The Hardy’s and then throw in some chairs, ladders, and tables. You just know you are in for a good time for sure. I wonder if these six men could still put on this kind of match today? I’d love to see it…….
2) Bret Hart vs. Owen Hart – SummerSlam 1994
It was one of the greatest feuds in wrestling history and there SummerSlam match was one of the greatest SummerSlam matches of all-time. Hell, it was one of the greatest cage matches of all-time. However, there was one SummerSlam match that I hold closer to my “hart”………
1) Bret Hart vs. The British Bulldog – SummerSlam 1992
As a young man, one of my favorite wrestlers was the British Bulldog. Perhaps it was his dreadlocks, his colorful tights, are the fact that he had a dog come down to the ring with him….I don’t know exactly. One thing I did know for sure was I was happy as hell to see him FINALLY get a WWE title shot. It was only an IC title shot, but this was a time when the IC title actually mattered. Not only that, but the Bulldog was going to battle his own brother-in-law Bret “The Hitman” Hart…in Bulldog’s own country! Talk about some pressure! How could the Bulldog possibly live up to all this pressure? Well, he did! The two “brothers” went on to put on one of my all-time favorite matches. Watching the crowd reaction during the whole thing also really helped make this event special. Just a hell of a match performed by two damn fine workers.
YouTube! Find Of The Week!
The top 10 SummerSlam moments of all-time? Well, not mine……..
And that’s it for me this week. Remember, don’t be a stranger to 411! Bookmark the site and visit it countless times a day. Hell, be brave and make it your homepage! Trust me, it will make you a better person……
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