wrestling / Columns
411Mania’s Squared Circle News Report 12.12.09
Welcome back inside the Squared Circle! How is everyone doing this week? Myself? Well, I’ve been freezing my ass off over here in Oregon. Who doesn’t love waking up at 4:30 AM to go to work in 9 degree weather? It never gets this cold around here and it’s messing with my emotions man! Either way, I’ll be drowning my sorrows from this chilly week with some Jager-bombs while watching UFC 107 tonight~!
Speaking of UFC 107, it should be a damn good show. You really can’t complain when you have BJ Penn vs. Diego Sanchez, Kenny Florian vs. Clay Guida, Frank Mir vs. Cheick Kongo, plus Jon Fitch and Rousimar Palhares on the card! Count me in a million times! Of course, the UFC show has affected my column this week (that and the massive amount of time I spent on the top 10) because due to time issues I had to slim down the news this week. Oh well, that’s not the WORST thing that’s happened in this column (remember when I posted that picture of a handicapped kid and everyone got all butt hurt? That was fun times…..).
Anyway……..
LET’S GET IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!
Biggest News Of The Week:
If you were like me this past Saturday night, then you were sitting at home watching Kimbo Slice chase Houston Alexander around the Octagon for fifteen minutes during “The Ultimate Fighter Finale”. If you were like me, you also saw some bald old dude announce that TNA Impact! would be going LIVE on January 4 against Monday Night RAW! If you were like me, you were so shocked at this news that you found the smallest person in the room and punched them really hard in the neck and ran away quickly before anyone else got involved……
In all seriousness, maaaaaan, TNA and Hulk Hogan got some balls! Remember when another company (with a much more loaded bank account) did the same thing in the mid-90’s? Remember what happened with that company? Well, that company was able to defeat the WWE for 82 STRAIGHT WEEKS! Thennnn……well…….then……they went in the toilet. I’m not saying TNA is headed down the same route that WCW did, but it just strikes me as awfully familiar that a company that was already getting heat for pushing older stars decides to go one on one with the biggest wrestling promotion in the world on Monday nights.
It’s going to be awfully hard for TNA to pull viewers away from the WWE. People who tend to enjoy the WWE more will most likely watch RAW, while people who enjoy TNA more will most likely watch TNA. TNA may be able to gain some viewers from all the Hogan nuthuggers out there, but those people seem to be hiding now that Hogan and his entire family have been exposed as a little bit nutty. One good move that TNA did was have Hogan and Dixie Carter announce this on “The Ultimate Fighter”. This was a great move by TNA for so many reasons.
It’s no secret that MMA is HUGE right now. It’s the fastest growing sport in the United States and it kicks boxing and wrestling’s ass in the PPV market (just check the yearly #’s people…). A lot of people who watch MMA now use to watch pro wrestling at some point in their lives. Therefore it was probably a good idea to get Hogan’s old ass out there in front of an MMA audience to announce some “huge pro wrestling news”. Some people’s interest may have gone up and now they want to check out this “TNA Impact” thing on January 4. It also doesn’t hurt to flaunt Dixie Carter’s sexay ass………
It’s going to be VERY interesting to see what kind of rating TNA can generate with this special. While TNA (and Spike) officials are saying it’s only a one-time deal, Hogan has been telling everyone (even people he has recruited to the company) that he wouldn’t sign a deal with TNA until they could reach a two-year deal with Spike that would allow “Impact” to run on Monday nights opposite RAW. If TNA pulls a shitastic rating on January 4, then I highly doubt we will ever see TNA return to Monday nights. That could lead to Hogan getting pissy and leaving TNA since his whole push seems to be competing with the WWE on Monday nights. However, if TNA can pull off a miracle and even sniff the WWE’s rating, it wouldn’t surprise me to see them possibly move to Monday nights on a permanent basis in the near future (although we know that’s not REALLY going to happen…..is it???).
One thing is for sure. Things are about to get interesting in the world of professional wrestling once again……
Remember This Guy???
Once upon a time (somewhere in the mid-to-late 90’s to be exact) the WWE hired a former Canadian hockey player named Glenn Kulka who EVERYONE praised as the “next big thing”. Seriously, the Internet and all the Apter mags were all over this guy’s nuts. I mean, the dude had a damn good look, it’s just a shame he never went anywhere in the world of professional wrestling.
It just wasn’t meant to be for ol’ Glenny boy. After wrestling on the WWE’s house show circuit (for what seemed like FOREVER), Kulka wrestled once or twice on Monday Night RAW before breaking his leg during a match with The Jackyl. Kulka was then shipped off to the WWE Training Dojo where he was stuck in WWE developmental hell until the company finally released him in 2000.
All is not completely lost for Kulka though. He did manage to follow in the footsteps of Brock Lesnar and made his MMA debut on July 26, 2008 where he defeated Wayne Xilon via first-round TKO. Since then, he’s gone 1-1 in MMA bringing his overall record to 2-1. Who’s footsteps will Kulka follow? Brock Lesnar or Tony Halme’s? Only time will tell…….
Here’s Glenn Kulka in some MMA action (apparently filmed by the same crew who filmed the “Blair Witch Project”….)
Random News Bits:
– Here’s the latest on the death of Eddie “Umaga” Fatu. No autopsy results have been revealed, so there’s nothing new on that front. However, several bookers who tried to book him before he died have mentioned that Umaga seemed out of it and was slurring his words during conversations and so on. I’m no doctor so I have no idea what could have been going on with the guy. Meanwhile on the wrestling side of things, It has been revealed that Umaga had been telling people that he was planning on returning to the WWE around the time of the Royal Rumble. While Hogan had tried to get him to go to TNA, Fatu felt a sense of loyalty towards the WWE. Man, this just makes the news of his death suck even more. An Umaga return was something the WWE really could have used right now. RIP big guy…….
– Hulk Hogan was been pushing TNA to make an offer to Jeff Hardy despite Hardy’s recent legal problems. However, those close to Hardy say that when he does decide to return to wrestling, he will more then likely return to the WWE. This is great news for Jeff Hardy fans. You know, like teenage girls, young boys, and Chris Lansdell.
– TNA is apparently close to having a deal signed to bring in Ric Flair. The company is reportedly interested in running a Flair/Sting program one last time before the two either die or just simply can’t wrestle anymore. Why does Flair have to do this? WHY FLAIR WHY???? Just stay retired man. I guess the good news is that no matter how much pull Hogan has, TNA has no interest in bringing in either one of the Nasty Boys or Brutus Beefcake. YAY~!!!
– Bobby Lashley has signed a multi-year deal with Strikeforce. That’s good news for wrestling fans of Lashley because that means he’ll now probably stick with TNA for awhile seeing as Strikeforce doesn’t care if he wrestles. However, this is bad news for Lashley’s MMA career seeing as this will probably lead to a match-up with #1 heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko. I can’t even begin to explain how big of an underdog Lashley would be in that fight. I tell you what though, if it went down…..I’d be the first one in line to watch it. I’d love to see Lashley get knocked out in less than a minute. WELCOME TO THE BIG LEAGUES!
(Told you I was going to be short on news this week!…..)
(Credit goes to The Wrestling Observer for the above news!)
Wrestling Top 10 Lists:
December use to be a fantastic month for WCW fans. When December rolled around, you knew it was time for some STARRCADE goodness! For you newer wrestling fans who weren’t around for the WCW days, Starrcade was basically WCW’s answer to WrestleMania. To this day, when December rolls around, I still miss Starrcade being absent from our lives. With that said, here’s the top 10 best shows in WCW Starrcade history! Enjoy!
This list is in a particular order……
Honorable Mentions:
Best Matches:
– Sting and The Fabulous Freebirds vs. Eddie Gilbert, Larry Zbyszko and Rick Steiner
– The Rock n’ Roll Express vs. The Midnight Express
– Terry Taylor vs. Nikita Koloff
– Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard vs. The Road Warriors
– Ric Flair vs. Ron Garvin
Worst Matches:
– Barry Windham vs. Steve Williams
– Lex Luger vs. Dusty Rhodes
AND NOW…..THE TOP 10!!!!
Best Matches:
– Richard Morton & Dustin Rhodes vs. Larry Zbyszko & El Gigante
– Jushin Liger & Bill Kazmaier vs. Mike Graham & Dallas Page
– Arn Anderson & Lex Luger vs. Terry Taylor & Tom Zenk
– Todd Champion & Ricky Steamboat vs. Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker & Cactus Jack
– Johnny B. Badd & Arachnaman vs. Scott Steiner & Firebreaker Chip
Worst Matches:
– Rick Steiner & The Nightstalker vs. Vader & Mr. Hughes
– Brian Pillman & Bobby Eaton vs. Abdullah the Butcher & Sting
– Marcus Bagwell & Jimmy Garvin vs. Tracy Smothers & Michael Hayes
– Van Hammer & Big Josh vs. Steve Austin & Rick Rude
One of my favorite things of all-time….THE BATTLE BOWL~!!!!………
Best Matches:
– Johnny B. Badd & Cactus Jack vs. Dan Spivey & Van Hammer
– Brian Pillman & 2 Cold Scorpio vs. Great Muta & Barry Windham
– Sting & Steve Williams vsa. Jushin Liger & Erik Watts
– Ricky Steamboat & Shane Douglas vs. Barry Windham & Brian Pillman
– Sting vs. Vader
Worst Matches:
– Great Muta vs. Masahiro Chono
– Steve Williams vs. Ron Simmons
– Kensuki Sasaki & The Barbarian vs. Vader & Dustin Rhodes
You’d think this match would have been better considering MUTA~! was involved…….
Best Matches:
– The Rock n’ Roll Express vs. The Minnesota Wrecking Crew
– The Road Warriors vs. The Midnight Express
– Ric Flair vs. Nikita Koloff
Worst Matches:
– Paul Jones vs. Jimmy Valient
– Dusty Rhodes vs. Tully Blanchard
– Ron Garvin vs. Big Bubba Rogers
Man, I miss these old cheesy commercials……
Best Matches:
– Juventud Guerrera vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Billy Kidman
– Eddie Guerrero vs. Billy Kidman
– Konnan vs. Chris Jericho
– “Diamond” Dallas Page vs. The Giant
Worst Matches:
– Prince Iaukea vs. Norman Smiley
– Ernest Miller vs. Saturn
– Jerry Flynn & Fit Finlay vs. Scott Norton & Brian Adams
– Ric Flair vs. Eric Bischoff
– Goldberg vs. Kevin Nash
Here’s the entire Starrcade 1998 at your finger tips (you just have to go to YouTube to find the rest! hahahaha!!)……
Best Matches:
– Buddy Landell vs. Terry Taylor
– Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard
– Ivan & Nikita Koloff vs. The Rock n’ Roll Express
– Ric Flair vs. Dusty Rhodes
Worst Matches:
– Sam Houston vs. Krusher Khruschev
– Ron Bass vs. Black Bart
– J.J. Dillon vs. Ron Bass
– Abdullah the Butcher vs. Manny Fernandez
– Billy Graham vs. The Barbarian
– The Midnight Express vs. Jimmy Valiant and Miss Atlanta Lively
Here’s some Ric Flair for ya….WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!…….
Best Matches:
– Ultimo Dragon vs. Dean Malenko
– Rey Mysterio Jr vs. Jushin Liger
– Chris Benoit vs. Jeff Jarrett
– The Outsiders vs. The Faces of Fear
– “Diamond” Dallas Page vs. Eddie Guerrero
Worst Matches:
– Madusa vs. Akira Hokuto
– Lex Luger vs. The Giant
– Hulk Hogan vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
Dean Malenko vs. Ultimo Dragon is always going to be a good time……
Best Matches:
– Bobby Eaton vs. Tom Zenk
– The Steiner Brothers vs. Col. DeKlerk & Sgt. Kruger
– Rey Mysterio & Konnan vs. Chris Adams & Norman Smiley
– Michael Wallstreet vs. Terry Taylor
– Lex Luger vs. Stan Hansen
– Doom vs. Arn Anderson & Barry Windham
– The Steiner Brothers vs. Great Muta & Mr. Saito
– Sting vs. Black Scorpion
Worst Matches:
– Rip Morgan & Jack Victory vs. Mr. Saito & Great Muta
– Bull Johnson & Troy Montour vs. Salman Hasimokov & Victor Zangiev
– The Skyscrapers vs. Big Cat & Motor City Madman
– Fabulous Freebirds vs. Ricky Morton & Tommy Rich
– The Steiner Brothers vs. Konnan & Rey Mysterio
– Victor Zangiev & Salman Hsimokov vs. Mr. Saito & Great Muta
This is a GREAT tag team match……….
Best Matches:
– Chris Benoit vs. Jushin Liger
– Alex Wright vs. Koji Kanemoto
– Eddie Guerrero vs. Shinjiro Otani
– Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger vs. Sting
– Ric Flair vs. Randy Savage
Worst Matches:
– Lex Luger vs. Masahiro Chono
– Masa Saito vs. Johnny B. Badd
– Hiroyoshi Tenzan vs. Randy Savage
– Kensuki Sasaki vs. Sting
It’s the “man we don’t speak of” vs. that colorful Jushin Liger, count me in!……….
Best Matches:
– Greg Valentine vs. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper
– Jay Youngblood & Ricky Steamboat vs. Jerry & Jack Brisco
– Harley Race vs. Ric Flair
– The Assassins vs. Bugsy McGraw & Rufus R. Jones
– Scott McGhee & Johnny Weaver vs. Kevin Sullivan & Mark Lewin
– Wahoo McDaniel & Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater and Bob Orton
Worst Matches:
– Carlos Colon vs. Abdullah the Butcher
– The Great Kabuki vs. Charlie Brown
Just one more time……….
Best Matches:
– Steve Williams & Kevin Sullivan vs. Tommy Rogers & Bobby Fulton
– Bobby Eaton & Stan Lane vs. Randy Rose & Dennis Condrey
– Mike Rotundo vs. Rick Steiner
– Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Barry Windham
– Sting & Dusty Rhodes vs. The Road Warriors
– Lex Luger vs. Ric Flair
Worst Matches:
– Junkyard Dog & Ivan Koloff vs. The Russian Assassins
Tony Schiavone and Magnum TA discuss Starrcade 88………
YouTube! Find Of The Week!
Kimbo Slice’s UFC debut, filmed with a handheld camera!……..
And that’s it for me this week. Remember, don’t be a stranger to 411! Bookmark the site and visit it countless times a day. Hell, be brave and make it your homepage! Trust me, it will make you a better person……
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