wrestling / TV Reports
411’s TNA Impact Report 11.20.08
In HD where available…
TNA Impact Begins…NOW!
– Earlier today, JB caught up with the Main Event Mafia. Kurt explains that tonight the MEM will give Christian a proper burial. Either that or help hype Survivor Series’s Casket Match.
– After the video intro, Tenay and West welcome us to the show.
The Main Event Mafia’s hired help roll a casket to the ring. The casket is placed in the middle of the ring alongside a picture of Cage getting beat up from last week. Angle, as he should, does the majority of the talking. He says that Cage refused to make a commitment to not only the MEM but to TNA, the company. Therefore, the MEM had no other choice but to beat Christian within an inch of his life and send him back to the WWE. Angle declares that Christian’s beatdown is a warning to anyone in the back who dares to cross the MEM. After hyping his upcoming match with Jeff Jarrett at Final Resolution, he offers an open microphone to anyone in the back.
And here comes Rhino. He states that he has a problem with the MEM jumping Christian. Nash interrupts and lets him know that he can shove it. Rhino counters back with BULLSHIT~. Nash and Rhino go back and forth with petty insults and shoot comments. For instance, Rhino states that the MEM is afraid of losing their spot to a younger generation. He called them all BITCHES. Dem fighting words, kids.
Booker takes the microphone and lets Rhino know that his dog has bigger balls than Rhino. He dares Rhino to charge into the ring, which he does. The beatdown commences with a five on one attack before Booker levels him with his Legends Championship. Angle attacks the newly opened wound on Rhino’s forehead as we get an instant replay of the belt shot. The MEM places Rhino in the coffin to end the segment…
– Or is it? In the back, Mick Foley, Jeff Jarrett, and JB discuss the heinousness of the MEM. Well, JB just holds the microphone while Jarrett states that he is taking back the house tonight!
– In the back, AJ Styles rounds up the troops. Well, the MCMGs aren’t too happy with AJ’s pleads. Foley joins them and lets the MCMGs know that they are arrogant and disrespectful. He makes a match for tonight: the MCMGs vs. Samoa Joe & AJ Styles.
Match One: “The Guru” Sonjay Dutt & Tanahashi vs. Consequences Creed & “Black Machismo” Jay Lethal
Dutt and Lethal start for a brief second as Tanahashi sneak attacks Lethal. Creed takes care of Tanahashi allowing Lethal to take down Dutt with a springboard back elbow. So Cal Val distracts Lethal allowing Dutt to take over. Tag to Tanahashi and the two heels hit a nice low dropkick/cannonball splash double team. Another splash gets 2 for Tanahashi. Back suplex is escaped allowing Lethal to nail him with an enziguri. Hot tags to Dutt and Creed. A three-handled moss covered family gredunza takes out Dutt. Creed hits his combination punches to Tanahashi before leveling Dutt. Dutt fights back with a jawbreaker. Dutt’s inverted DDT is countered to a TKO. That picks up the win for Creed and Lethal.
Winner: Consequences Creed & Jay Lethal @ 2:24 via pin
RATING: *
-In the back, Lauren interviews with the Beautiful People. She lets the BP know that Christy Hemme has found a partner in Sojournor Bolt. Velvet Sky spends the next minute making fun of her name. Love asks the important question “Why is Christy Hemme still trying to play wrestler?” Love lets us also know that her foot will end up inside Hemme’s g-string. By the way, Kip’s “suck it” was actually digitized out. Censorship rules!
– Suicide is coming!
– A video package hypes the upcoming “Feast or Fired” match at Final Resolution. The video does a good enough job stressing the importance of this match even though I still don’t understand the rules.
– In the back, Jim Cornette berates Shane Sewell, wrestling referee. Cornette demands that Shane strips Eric Young of the belt. The Sheik is champion again. Cornette puts Shane on probation before giving Young a match against Booker T for the Legends Championship. Shouldn’t Cornette have given Young a rematch with the Sheik? What does Booker have to do with anything?
Match Two: The Beautiful People vs. Christy Hemme & Sojournor Bolt
Bolt’s name is way too long for a t-shirt. Don West gives Hemme the “Kelly Kelly Most Improved” verbal blowjob. Bolt and Love start. Bolt shoulderblocks Love down. A second whip attempt leads to a Love big boot. Love slugs away on Bolt on the mat before tagging in Sky. A double team elbow drop gets 2. Sky bounces Bolt’s head on the ground before taunting Christy Hemme. This allows Love to choke away at Bolt. Sky misses a clothesline allowing Bolt to crossbody her for 2. Sky chokes away with her boot. Chinlock is applied. Bolt easily gets out of the maneuver (for Sky is not Randy Orton) before tagging in Hemme. Hemme is a house on fire. Clothesline to Love. Double sledge to Sky. She takes down Love again. Matrix move sets up a kick to Sky. Cute Kip takes a shot to the face. This distraction allows Love to finish off Hemme with a Downward Spiral.
Winner: The Beautiful People @ 3:10 via pin
RATING: * ½
– TNA Rough Cut on Homicide. He tells a story how he wrestled with a tampon stuck in a bullet hole. I’m not sure why that was necessary but it made for a good story.
– Welcome to ODB’s Angle. Well she ain’t Karen. Her first guest is Sharmell. ODB drinks beer while no-selling Sharmell’s answer. To sum it up, ODB is a dirty bitch while Sharmell is prim and proper. God, this sucks. Finally, we get serious as ODB lets Sharmell know that it’s time for the young boys to take over. Sharmell tells ODB that the MEM deserves their spot before the ladies get catty. ODB challenges Sharmell to a one-on-one match at Final Resolution.
– In the back, JB is with the MEM. Angle lets Matt Morgan and Abyss know that they are in the wrong place at the wrong time. Angle then offers Mick Foley two main events for Final Resolution: Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett & the winner of tonight’s Joe & Angle/MCMG & two mystery partners vs. the MEM in an eight-man tag match.
– West & Tenay let us know that Petey Williams will be sidelined indefinitely.
Match Three: The Motor City Machine Guns vs. AJ Styles & Samoa Joe
The teams brawl to start. Sabin suicide dives onto Samoa Joe! AJ follows that up with a plancha to both MCMGs on the outside! COMMERCIAL TIME after forty-five seconds of action! DOUBLE WHAMMY!!!
We are back with Shelley dropkicking Joe in the back. Tag to Sabin and the two men kick the shit out of Joe. Sabin taunts Styles before dropping his forearm on Joe. Joe fights back with chops but runs into a boot. Joe blocks a top rope maneuver and nails Shelley with a snap powerslam. Tag to Shelley & Styles. Dropkick to Shelley. Flying forearm gets 2. Sabin stops Styles from delivering the Stlyes Clash. Joe takes out Shelley but Sabin clotheslines Joe down. Double kick to Stlyes in the corner. Styles blocks the Cradle Shock and nails the Pele. Joe decapitates Sabin while the Styels Clash finishes Shelley. After the match, the MEM (with Steiner & Sting on the outside) lay out Styles & Joe. Creed and Lethal try to help the youngsters but are also beaten down.
Winner: Samoa Joe & AJ Styles @ 7:09 (3:58 shown) via pin
RATING: **
– In Tracy Brooks’s office, Riesha Saeed asks for a new opponent for Awesome Kong. Since Brooks has no opponents, Saeed promises a Kong eating frenzy tonight. I hope that’s as entertaining as a Khali Kiss Kam.
– In the back, Rhino takes out the MCMG in the youngster’s locker room. Rhino mentions ECW during his rally cry to Joe, Styles, Lethal, Creed, and the MCMGs. Rhino gives a damn good promo here.
Match Four: Booker T vs. Eric Young for the Legends Championship
Lockup to start. After a clean break in the corner, Booker grabs a hammerlock. Young reverses into his own hammerlock before Booker forces a clean break at the ropes. They lockup and Booker knees him in the gut. Turnbuckle smash but Booker runs into an arm drag. Booker knees out of the hold and chops Young in the chest. Young’s hiptoss is blocked but not the arm drag. Booker knees out of the hold again but misses a sidekick. Young slugs away at Booker T but is thrown into the top rope. Now, the sidekick connects. A superkick sends Young back to the mat. Booker covers for 2.
Booker goes back to the arm but Young fights out. He ducks under a sidekick but is poked in the eye. Booker applies a Randy Orton-esque chinlock. Young escapes and takes down Booker with a chop. Clothesline and scoop slam get 2. Booker misses the Axe Kick allowing Young to hit him with a DVD for 2 ½. Young is tripped up by Sharmell allowing Booker to finish with the Axe Kick. ODB checks on Young after the match.
Winner: Booker T @ 5:10 via pin
RATING: ** 1/2
– In the back, Mick Foley lets Jeff Jarrett know that Kurt Angle will not be happy with his Final Resolution decision.
– In the back, JB is with Team 3D. Devon explains how Beer Money does not know who Team 3D is. Ray questions how the MEM can be called the greatest faction ever lived if they do not have the greatest tag team by their side. Ray lets Beer Money know their time is coming.
– In the back, NASCAR driver Hermie Sadler is taken out by Awesome Kong. Or a stunt double is. Either way, it looked bad.
Main Event: Kevin Nash & Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan & Abyss
Abyss and Angle start. Angle goes behind Abyss before applying a side headlock. Abyss whips him off and shoulder blocks him. Angle rolls out to the floor to talk strategy with Nash. Kurt unloads with some offense which does nothing to the Monster. Off the ropes and Angle runs into a clothesline. Abyss does his best Mick Foley impersonation in the corner (albeit a lot slower) before big booting Angle. Shock Treatment connects for 2 ½. Tag to Morgan who runs into a few kicks to the knee. Morgan fights back with the Carbon Footprint for 2 ¾. And it’s commercial time!
Three minutes later we return with Morgan elbow dropping Angle for 2 ½. Tag to Nash who takes his time getting into the ring. Morgan and Nash stare each other down before coming to blows. Morgan takes advantage with quicker rights before Angle cheap shots Morgan. Clothesline by Nash for 2. Knees to the midsection in the corner by Nash. Nash follows them up with some elbows to the head. Nash chokes away at Morgan with a big boot (MOVESET). Angle tags in and goes to work on the knee. He drops two elbows before wrenching at the knee. Morgan fights out with his other leg. European uppercuts stagger Morgan but the Angle Slam is escaped. Morgan takes down Angle with a clothesline.
Here comes Beer Money! Hot tag to Abyss who clotheslines Nash, Angle, Nash, and then Angle again. Splash in the corner to both men. Side slam connects on Nash for 2. Angle makes the save but is dumped to the outside. Abyss follows allowing Morgan to trade blows with Nash. Morgan runs into an elbow before missing a big boot. Abyss and Angle return to the ring. Storm smashes a bottle onto Abyss’s head allowing Nash to deliver a mean big boot. That picks up the victory!
Winner: Kevin Nash & Kurt Angle @ 10:36 (7:18 shown) via pin.
RATING: * ½
It’s main event interview time with Mick Foley. Foley acknowledges that each member of the MEM had a huge impact on wrestling in the past. He even accepted for a time being that they were the biggest stars in TNA. He even calls the MEM the greatest stable ever to step in the wrestling ring. After putting an initial stake in the TNA Originals, he know believes that the MEM might be the future of TNA. As the Executive Shareholder of TNA, Foley books two huge co-main events for Final Resolution. In the first main event:
Booker T, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner, & TNA Champion Sting vs. Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and two mystery partners
– If the MEM wins, Sting retains his title
– If the TNA Originals win, AJ Styles becomes the new TNA Heavyweight Champion
In our second main event, Kurt Angle will take on Rhino!
Kurt calls his matchmaking BULLSHIT and asks Foley why Jeff Jarrett is a pussy. Angle throws a bitchfit and demands a match against Jeff Jarrett at Final Resolution. And if he can’t have Jarrett, he wants Foley! Angle bitchslaps Foley but before he can do any more damage, Jarrett hits the ring. As the founder of TNA wrestling, he will not allow Kurt to destroy everything he built. Jarrett adds a stipulation to the main event: if Kurt Angle beats Rhino, he gets his match with Jeff Jarrett. However, if Rhino beats Kurt Angle, Angle is fired! Jarrett offers a handshake but Angle slaps him. Rhino appears out of nowhere and GOARS Angle!
*End scene.
