wrestling / TV Reports

411’s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 10.31.13

October 31, 2013 | Posted by Jonathan Sullivan

TNA Impact Wrestling Logo photo impactwrestlinglogo_zps682c0ae2.jpg

*****

PREVIOUSLY ON IMPACT WRESTLING: Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode brawl, Mr. Anderson returns and sets his sights on Bully Ray, and AJ Styles leaves the company with the World Title.

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We go “live” to Salt Lake City and pan the crowd as Mike Tenay welcomes the home audience. Tenay hypes Kim/ODB for the Knockouts Title and Angle/Roode II.

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TNA President Dixie Carter makes her way out to open the show, Tenay and Taz questioning how she’s going to react now that AJ has left the company. Carter calls Styles’ actions last week “ridiculous” and says that nobody walks out on her. Carter says that from here on out Styles does not exist to her nor is he “her” World Heavyweight Champion. Carter says Styles is not World Champ as he’s no different than kids running around with toy belts: it’s just a costume. What Carter needs is a “real” World Champion, someone great-looking and with all the skills to grow TNA. Carter says she has come up with a way to find that champion: an 8-man World Title tournament that will happen over the course of the next few weeks.

Carter introduces 7 of the 8 men already locked into the tournament: James Storm, Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy, Austin Aries, current X-Division Champion Chris Sabin, and Bobby Roode. When each man is introduced by Carter a video gets edited in highlighting their previous World Title win(s). Carter goes to say that there still needs an 8th man, but before she can finish her thought out comes Bully Ray, joined by hos woman Brooke Tessmacher. Carter yells for the music to be shut off and announces a gauntlet match to fill the 8th spot in the tournament. Ray gets in the ring and asks Carter how he’s gonna win the World Title back if he’s not in the tournament (winning the gauntlet match, maybe?). Ray asks Carter if she knows who he is. Carter says she does: he’s the man who lost *twice* to AJ Styles and caused all of these problems to begin with. Ray says he’s not to blame for those two losses; the first time was Earl Hebner’s fault and the second was because of Mr. Anderson.

The lights awkwardly cut out and Mr. Anderson runs out to the ring. Ray and Anderson brawl in the ring, Anderson stomps down on Ray as we go to commercial.

  • THOUGHTS: As a sucker for tournaments I do love Carter’s announcement, however awkwardly edited it was (the vignettes for each person announced was cool in theory but felt super super tacked in). I assume this will lead to a Champ Vs. Champ match in the future, possibly at Genesis if they can drag it on long enough. Having a gauntlet for the final spot would be cool…if TNA didn’t rely on gauntlet matches so damn much lately. The Anderson/Ray brawl to end the segment was a bit iffy, and it looks like it’s going to continue so hopefully it picks up after the commercial.

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-Commercial Break-

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We see a video of Mr. Anderson being escorted out during the break. Brooke Tessmacher yells at him and Bully Ray attacks him from behind. The security scurry away (WHAT) and Ray whips Anderson with the chain. The picture is super blurry over Anderson for some reason. Ray tells Anderson that he’s worthless without the club and he’ll take him out the same way he brought him in. Ray tells him to stay away and he and his woman walk off.

  • THOUGHTS: Guess it didn’t continue in the ring after all. What a weird way to cut to commercial.

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The mysterious backstage interviewer returns, this time to bug Garett Bischoff about what just happened. Bischoff says it’s club business and Knux takes him away saying he needs him because he has a big opportunity tonight.

  • THOUGHTS: I was hoping the roaming backstage interviewer was done for, but I guess not. Drats.

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James Storm & Gunner make their way out for the opening match. Their opponents, The Bro-Mans make their way out second. No Mr. Olympia. Storm and Gunner attack the champs in aisle then Gunner rolls in Robbie E to get the match started proper.

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Match #1: The Bro-Mans (Robbie E & Jessie Godderz) (c) Vs. James Storm & Gunner for the TNA World Tag Team Titles

Robbie E shoves Gunner, and Gunner makes him with corner chops and a slingshot suplex for 1. Storm tags in and GunStorm hit a double back elbow. Storm follows up with a flying kneedrop and covers for 1. Robbie E backs Storm into the heel corner and Godderz tags in. The Bro-Mans whips Storm into the corner but eat a double clothesline from “The Cowboy”. Storm backs Godderz into the corner and chops him hard across the chest before connecting with a right to the jaw. Gunner tags back in and Storm hits an inverted atomic drop. Gunner hits a clothesline and Storm hits a side Russian legsweep at the same time. Good double-team move. Gunner works Godderz over in the corner as Taz wonder why he didn’t dress like a “viking”. Tenay is allergic to fun and gets mad at the idea.

Storm tags in and hits a second-rope fistdrop right to the side Godderz’s ribs. Storm follows up with the EYE OF THE STORM for the 1…2…Robbie E breaks up the pin. Robbie E hits a side Russian legsweep/clothesline combo on Storm and Gunner attacks him immediately after. Godderz attacks Gunner from behind and The Bro-Mans make with the double team. The Bro-Man whip Gunner so hard into the corner that he flies out to the floor. Robbie E meets him there and lays him out with a clothesline. Meanwhile back in the ring Storm has recovered and hits Godderz with Closing Time. Storm revs up the crowd but Robbie E pulls Godderz out of the way of the LAST CALL. Storm goes for a suplex on the apron but Robbie E trips him and holds down the leg as Godderz covers for the 1…2…3!

Winners and STILL Tag Team Champions [via Pinfall]: The Bro-Mans (4:15)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Not nearly the match these two teams had at BFG but I’m glad The Bro-Mans kept the belts and I liked the way Robbie E helped cheat for the win. Someone’s been watching Wrestlemania V!

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Sting meets up with Dixie Carter in her office. Carter says that since she’s so sick and tired about hearing about Sting being banned from a World Title shot she’s willing to lift the ban and putting him in the gauntlet. Carter says she was also thinking about having Sting start first to prove he still has it. Sting says he has earned everything for himself and he has no sense of entitlement. Sting walks away and Carter is confused, yelling if that means yes.

  • THOUGHTS: Carter’s reaction to Sting’s nonsense words was tremendous. My new favorite thing she’s done. It’s the little things sometimes.

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-Commercial Break-

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A video plays of Abyss’s return at Bound For Glory.

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Bad Influence are shown backstage, dressed as Sherlock Holmes (both of them). They mock a stage hand and, in British accents, they promise to solve the mystery of both the missing TV Title and the whereabouts of Abyss. Daniels says “elementary” and Kazarian responds with “junior high”. Awesome.

  • THOUGHTS: Supremely entertaining and hilarious. Bad Influence rule.

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Ethan Carter III makes his way out for the next match. His hand-picked opponent, NORV FERNUM, makes his way out. NORV HAS RETURNED!

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Match #3: Norv Fernum Vs. Ethan Carter III

Carter catches Fernum immediately with a boot. Carter rams Fernum head-first into the corner then follows up with a hard chop across the chest. Carter makes with another chop as an awkwardly edited-in Bellator shill by Tenay plays. Oh man the editing in this show is the worst. Carter whips Fernum into the corner and follows up with a T-bone suplex. Carter rolls to his feet and poses briefly for the crowd. Fernum fights back with a jawbreaker but Carter grabs him by the singlet and applies a sleeperhold, whipping him around like a rag doll. Fernum breaks out of the hold and connects with a couple of shoulderblocks which don’t work. Fernum escapes a slam and dropkicks Carter to the corner. Fernum gets backdropped to the apron and follows up with a springboard crossbody for the 1…kickout. Fernum hits the ropes but runs right into a flapjack. Carter finishes Fernum off with a deadly-looking HEADLOCK DRIVER for the 1…2…3!

Winner [via Pinfall]: Ethan Carter III (3:08)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: BFG rematch number 2. Even though this was a squash match it was oddly more entertaining than their original encounter on the PPV. Taz trying to build up Fernum’s fake wrestling prowess was fun too. It’s rare nowadays when Taz is on point but when he is he proves his worth on the announce team. As for that PAINFUL Tenay voiceover about Bellator show Saturday…ugh. That was ridiculous. These taped Impacts always feel so crappily pasted together.

POST-MATCH: Carter kicks imaginary dirt at Fernum as he’s rolled out the ring then gets on the mic. Carter introduces himself, saying that he’s a Carter and the world needs them.

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Bobby Roode is backstage with the TNA medic. Roode shows him spots where Kurt Angle hurt himself during his BFG match then asks him to check Angle out to make sure he’s medically cleared to compete.

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Sting is shown walking the halls. The 8th spot gauntlet starts…after the commercial.

  • THOUGHTS: So he did say yes. Okay. I didn’t get that from his nonsensical rambling at Dixie earlier.

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-Commercial Break-

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ODB cuts a backstage promo about her match for the “Knocked Up Title”. Bad Influence show up and after accusing her of smuggling pumpkins in her shirt they ask about Joseph Park. Eric Young runs up and scares them, saying that Halloween is a “monster’s holiday” and he has a special surprise for them later.

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Sting makes his way out to start the gauntlet match. The second entrant, Frankie Kazarian makes his way out next. Tenay lays out the rules. It’s a Royal Rumble match with a different name.

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Match #3: Battle Royal “Gauntlet” for the 8th Spot in the World Title Tournament

Kazarian gets the early start with a corner splash but plays to the crowd too much and Sting takes advantage with a clothesline. Sting sends Kazarian head-first into the corner then whips him into the corner, following up with a back bodydrop. Sting follows up with a suplex and the crowd chants “YOU STILL GOT IT!”. Worst chant ever. Kazarian fights back and attempts to eliminate Sting but Sting fights him off with back elbows and follows it with a clothesline. The clock strikes 0 and out comes entrant #3: Knux. This match continues after the commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Entrant #4, Eric Young, makes his way out as we return from commercial. He joins Sting, Kaz, and Knux. Young takes Kaz out with a belly-to-belly suplex then ducks a Knux clothesline and backs him into the corner. Young climbs to the middle turnbuckle and hits six right hands of doom followed by a crossbody to Kaz. Young backs Kaz into the corner and connects with the ten right hands of doom followed by a wind-up 11th when he jumps back down. Young tries to eliminate Kaz as Sting goes for a Stinger Splash on Knux. Knux dodges and Sting crumples to the mat. Knux tries to eliminate Young but Young rakes the eyes. Young then attacks Kaz from behind and sends him into the corner. Entrant #5, Christopher Daniels, makes his way out.

Young tries to toss Kaz out but Daniels catches him and prevents it. Young picks Daniels up to the apron but Daniels rakes the eyes and makes with the short jabs. Bad Influence double team Young as Sting tries to eliminate Knux. The crowd chants “FALLEN ANGEL!”. I kinda miss that gimmick as well. Knux works Young over as Bad Influence go for a double suplex on Sting. Sting blocks it and hits a suplex on Daniels and Kaz. The gauntlet continues some more after the commercial.

-Commercial Break-

Manik is entrant #6 and out he comes when we return from commercial. Manik hits Kaz with a springboard crossbody then hits Daniels with a back kick. Manik follows up with a dual missile dropkick from the second rope on Bad Influence. Manik tries to eliminate Daniels but Kaz breaks it up. Knux tries to eliminate Young but Sting breaks it up (that one makes no sense). Kaz tries to eliminate Manik but he hangs on and skins the cat into a headscissors on Kaz. Nice. Manik goes after Knux as the clock counts down. Entrant #7 is…Magnus.

Manik takes on Bad Influence by himself, hitting them with a double clothesline, then takes it to Knux with a series of right hands but Knux responds with a running crossbody taking the wind out of him. Manik tries for a dropkick but Knux feels nothing. Knux picks Manik up in a pumphandle but Manik lands on the apron and slides under his legs. Manik connects with a hurricanrana and out goes Knux!. KNUX IS ELIMINATED. Kaz hits Manik with an elbow and out he goes. MANIK IS ELIMINATED. Taz hates his own Aces & Eights club now. Kaz takes EY out with a dropkick. ERIC YOUNG IS ELIMINATED.

It’s down to four (Sting, Magnus, Bad Influence). Bad Influence work Magnus over until Sting fights Kaz off. Magnus takes Daniels down with a clothesline and Sting hits a Stinger Splash on Kaz. Magnus eliminates Daniels with a clothesline. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS IS ELIMINATED. Sting tries to eliminate Kaz and Magnus dumps BOTH of them out of the ring, winning the match! STING and FRANKIE KAZARIAN are eliminated.

Winner: Magnus (19:35)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: Nearly 20 minutes of dull action. Battle royals are a fine line and this one was under it. Couldn’t hold my interest at all. Glad Magnus won over Sting, but honestly I would’ve preferred Daniels to take it. Man is overdue for a legitimate World Title shot, even though Bad Influence is the highlight of TNA.

POST-MATCH: Magnus shows some respect to Sting and shrugs, then celebrates with the crowd. Sting is not pleased because he does not know how battle royals work.

  • THOUGHTS: “HOW DARE HE ELIMINATE ME IN A MATCH IN WHICH YOU WIN BY ELIMINATING YOUR OPPONENT! BOOOO!” – Sting’s inner thoughts.

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Tenay and Taz talk the gauntlet match at ringside, then Tenay hypes the Angle/Roode main event. A shot of the doc from earlier checking Kurt Angle out backstage is shown. Angle walks off and the mysterious interviewer asks him if he’s cleared. Angle says he is and he’s going to kick Roode’s ass tonight. Next up: the Knockouts Title Match.

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-Commercial Break-

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The backstage interviewer asks Dixie Carter about Magnus winning the gauntlet. She says “good for him” then teases announcing the brackets for the upcoming tournaments plus a special surprise. She gives him a hint: it’s called the Wheel of Dixie.

  • THOUGHTS: If the wheel has a “Cole Miner’s Glove” option I will be 10000% thrilled.

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ODB makes her way out for the next match. Her opponent, Gail Kim, makes her way second accompanied by Lei’D Tapa.

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Match #4: Gail Kim (c) [w/ Lei’D Tapa] Vs. ODB for the TNA Knockouts Title

ODB spears Kim to the mat and lays into her with a series of right forearms. ODB sends Kim into the corner and connects with an open hand slap. ODB whips Kim hard into the corner and she immediately crumples to the mat due to the impact. ODB whips Kim into the corner again and connects with a splash, but Kim bails to the outside before she can hit the Bronco Buster. ODB follows her out and throws her back into the ring. Kim rolls out again and ODB picks her up and connects with a fallaway slam on the apron. Another awkward-sounding Tenay ADR plays about Bellator. ODB rolls Kim back in and stares Tapa down, allowing Kim to dropkick her into the announce table.

ODB tries to roll in at 8 but Kim grabs the legs and locks in the ringpost figure-four. Kim releases the hold and rolls ODB up for 2. Tenay hypes up “Turning Point” for November in ANOTHER ADR recording. ODB fights back but runs right into a clothesline and Kim covers for 2. Kim traps ODB in a headscissors. ODB gets to her feet and turns the headscissors into an achilles lock. Kim gets to the ropes to force a break. Kim catches her with a kick from the mat but misses the running corner dropkick. Snap. ODB slams Kim to the mat then climbs to the second turnbuckle. ODB hits the flying Thesz press for the 1…2…kickout.

ODB crotches Kim on the top strut and takes her off with a front suplex. She goes for the cover but Tapa distracts the ref. Kim uses the distraction to roll ODB up for the 1…2…(Kim grabs the middle rope)…3!

Winner and STILL Knockouts Champion [via Pinfall]: Gail Kim (6:23)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: A decent match. Tapa didn’t really do anything someone half her size could have done though. If she’s gonna be Kim’s muscle she needs to actually use the muscle.

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Bad Influence are shown leaving the locker room. Daniels says they’re going to the ring to solve the mystery of Abyss and they put on their Sherlock Holmes outfits.

  • THOUGHTS: Save this show Bad Influence, I beg you.

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-Commercial Break-

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The “Mystery” of Abyss

Bad Influence are in the ring, dressed in their Sherlock outfits. Frankie Kazarian mocks a woman for being fat at ringside and the crowd no-sells the terrible joke. Christopher Daniels takes over, with a British accent (sorta), and says they have cracked the case of Abyss. He says it took every ounce of their intelligence but rest assured they did that very deed. Daniels says they have looked high and low and he goes to look under the ring. He pulls out a jack-o-lantern and says it’s round and heavy like Abyss but it isn’t really him; it’s just another talentless vegetable. Oh man this segment is not working.

Eric Young makes his way out to interrupt, dressed as Joseph Park (glasses and everything). Young says he’s a scientist then says it’s “the big guy”‘s favorite holiday and he got a hold of him. Young says he got a hold of Abyss and wanted to give his favorite tag team a message. Young attacks Bad Influence but Daniels/Kaz easily battle back until Abyss finally makes his way out. Abyss takes them both out with Black Hole Slams. Abyss helps Young up, hesitation and all, in the same way that concluded the BFG segment between these four.

  • THOUGHTS: Wretched, unfunny, and similarly structured to their BFG segment, except with Sherlock costumes and pumpkins. I just disliked a Bad Influence segment. My heart is broken.

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Kurt Angle and Bobby Roode are shown headed to the ring. The main event is next!

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-Commercial Break-

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After a shot of the World Title brackets (Hardy/Sabin and Roode/Storm on one side, Aries/Angle and Magnus/Joe on the other) we cut to backstage where Dixie Carter meets with Jeff Hardy and Chris Sabin to decide the stipulation via “Wheel of Dixie” for their opening tournament match next week. It lands on “Full Metal Mayhem”.

  • THOUGHTS: The World Title tournament is gonna be all about gimmick matches? Apparently TNA really is taking notes from the dying days of WCW. It’ll lead to fun matches I’m sure but it’s stupid to gimmick up a tournament this important.

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A video plays highlighting the Angle/Roode feud.

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Bobby Roode makes his way out for the main event of tonight’s show. His opponent, Kurt Angle, makes his way out second.

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Main Event: Kurt Angle Vs. Bobby Roode

Angle and Roode lock up and jockey for position in the corner. Angle wins it and breaks clean. Angle takes Roode down with a waistlock but Roode immediately goes for a Crossface. Angle fights out and takes Roode down, going for the Ankle Lock, but Roode bails to the outside. Roode backs Angle in the corner and connects with a right hand followed by a chop. Roode drives the elbow into the back of Angle’s neck but Angle fights back with a back elbow off an Irish whip followed by an overhead release belly-to-belly suplex. Angle clotheslines Roode and Roode once again bails out to the floor. This time Angle follows him out and connects with right hands. Roode kicks him in the gut but runs into a bearhug. Roode escapes and rams the lower back of Angle into the side of the apron. This match continues after the break.

-Commercial Break-

Angle covers for 2 when we return from commercial. As Roode traps Angle in a submission we see some clips of Roode dominating during the commercial. Back live Roode has Angle in a waistlock. Angle gets to his feet but Roode switches it up and applies an abdominal stretch. Angle escapes and connects with the three German suplexes of doom but holds on to go for a fourth. Roode breaks out with elbows but Angle gets his fourth when he ducks a clothesline and connects with the move. Angle then hits German number FIVE and SIX, then covers for the 1…2…kickout.

MORE awkward Tenay ADR Bellator shilling as Roode hits Angle with a spinebuster for the 1…2…kickout. Angle fights back and applies the ANKLE LOCK. Roode kicks Angle off and applies the CROSSFACE. Angle breaks the hold with an ANKLE LOCK but Roode slips out and reapplies the CROSSFACE. Deja vu from last Sunday, eh?

Angle escapes but Roode reapplies the CROSSFACE once more. Angle teases tapping then rolls through and hits the ANGLE SLAM. Angle covers for the 1…2…kickout. Angle pulls the straps down and applies the ANKLE LOCK once more. He drags him into the center of the ring and Roode contemplates tapping. Roode rolls through instead into a roll-up for the 1…2…kickout. Roode picks Angle up and hits a Death Valley Driver for the 1…2…kickout! Roode can’t believe it. Roode goes after Angle but once again gets caught in the ANKLE LOCK. Roode tries to kick him off but Angle keeps the hold applied and wraps the legs in a grapevine. Roode manages to get to the ropes, forcing a break.

Angle positions Roode on the top turnbuckle and sets up for the Super-Angle Slam. Roode headbutts Angle off but Angle recovers quickly and hits the top rope Super-ANGLE SLAM. Angle looks out of it but covers Roode with an arm for the 1…2…kickout. Angle tries to stand but can’t. Roode gets to his feet before the 10 count and the ref calls for the bell since Angle is out cold.

Winner [via KO]: Bobby Roode (16:17)

  • MATCH THOUGHTS: A good match with the finish they should have went with at Bound For Glory. So at least there was one true bright spot of the episode.

POST-MATCH: Roode looks on as two refs check on Angle. Angle’s arms are convulsing. Roode looks briefly concerned as he exits the ring. Refs and officials continue to tend to Angle as we fade to logo.

*****

OVERALL SHOW THOUGHTS: And the streak of good Impact Wrestling episodes ends tonight. This was a miserable show to sit through, with dull wrestling and storyline turns I could care less about. The gimmicking up of the World Title tournament feels like bush-league WCW nonsense and Bad Influence, who usually are the standouts, had one of the worst segments I’ve seen this year with Abyss and Eric Young. Between that, the fact this all felt like deja vu from a PPV I paid 60 damn dollars for, the crappy editing and dubbing of Tenay shilling Bellator, this was an all-around mess. Ugh. Bad taste in my mouth. Onto next week.

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When not covering Impact most Thursdays for 411 Jon can be found writing endlessly about pro wrestling on his own site Pro Wrestling Update. You can also follow him on Twitter or find him on the PSN losing to EVERYONE in WWE2K14.

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Jonathan Sullivan

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