411’s WWE Raw Report 01.05.09

-Welcome to 411’s first Raw report of 2009. Ten years ago yesterday arguably the most historic night of Monday Night Wars took place as Mankind won his first World Championship on Monday Night Raw by defeating The Rock with a little help from Stone Cold Steve Austin. Meanwhile over on Nitro the infamous Fingerpoke of Doom which saw Kevin Nash drop the WCW World Title to a returning Hulk Hogan. It was essentially the D-Day of the Monday Night War as WCW never really recovered from the events of that evening. That was a decade ago. Make you feel old? Yeah me too. Will tonight be as historic? Probably not, but it still should be a fun night. So lets get started shall we?

-Live from New Orleans Arena in New Orleans, LA

-Hosted by Michael Cole & Jerry “The King” Lawler

-Tonights show opens with a recap of the Shawn Michaels-JBL angle starting with Armageddon and leading up to last weeks fatal four way which saw Shawn take a dive for JBL sending him to the Royal Rumble to face John Cena for the World Heavyweight Championship.

-Randy Orton and Chris Jericho are in the ring for a joint promo. Jericho states they are here to address the atrocity of last week. Jericho states that the rules clearly state that the rules are every man for himself, but it is clear that JBL and Michaels were working together. As a result they are filing a formal protest. Orton states they feel that JBL should be removed from the title match at the Royal Rumble and Shawn Michaels should not be allowed to compete. Orton states that he and Jericho have agreed to a match tonight with the winner going on to face Cena. Jericho says the fans don’t have to like it, but at least they fought an honest match. That brings out JBL and Shawn Michaels together in JBL’s limo. JBL says they can protest all they want, but the facts are that he won the match and he will be facing Cena at the Rumble. JBL asks them to lose with a little dignity. He says they have the audacity to cast aspersions at him considering their track records. JBL claims they would have done the same given their track records if they had the resources. Jericho says he always does things on the up and up, and then moves on to Michaels. He says everything he said over the summer has been proven to be true. Shawn retorts that the one thing that keeps him from being completely sickened with himself is knowing he personally cost both of them from fighting for the title. Orton goes for the heart saying that saying that Shawn has taken a turn for the worse. He says not only is he hurting himself, but now Ric Flair’s career has been ended by a weak pathetic sellout. Orton states the real shame is that once the protest is heard and the result is overturned it will all be for nothing. That brings out Stephanie McMahon. Stephanie says since Shawn didn’t lie down the referees decision stands and the protest is denied. She officially places both Orton and Jericho in the Royal Rumble. Jericho says thats not supposed to be a reward because they should be in anyway. Jericho says that Shawn Michaels should not be in the Royal Rumble based on his actions. JBL says he’ll yield to that demand because Shawn’s sole function will be to be serve as his cornerman. Stephanie says the easy thing to do now would be to make a tag match between these four, but thats no fun so she instead decides to test Shawn’s integrity by making tonights main event Orton and Jericho against Shawn and John Cena. Fantastic opening segment.

Goldust & Melina vs. Santino Marella & Beth Phoenix
Rosa Mendez again gets a front row seat. I guess jumping the rail doesn’t even get you a week off. I’ll have to remember that the next time I’m at a show. Beth starts with Melina. Beth sends Melina down with a headbutt. After an exchange of firsts Beth again takes Melina down with an elbow. Santino tags in and tries to grab Melina, but a slap allows her to tag Goldust. Goldust hits an armdrag. Santino fights back and gains control after a wristlock. Cover by Santino gets a two count and then he hits a headlock. Goldust fights out of that and hits an inverted atomic drop and follows up with a clothesline. Attempted kiss to Beth is rebuffed. Butt-butt by Goldust gets two as he sends Santino to the floor. Goldust tags in Melina which lets the women go at it again. Beth drives Melina into the corner, but a charge attempt meets Melina’s boot. Melina goes to the top rope and hits a face buster. Jacknife rollup finishes abruptly for Melina giving her and Goldust the victory. Rosa Mendez jumps the rail again and security grabs her and takes her through the crowd. Melina goes out through the crowd after her but security keeps them apart. Harmless comedy match mainly to set up the Mendez angle and make Melina seem like a threat heading into the Rumble match.
Winners: Goldust & Melina (Melina pins Phoenix-Rollup *1/4)

-Todd Grisham is with CM Punk. Punk talks about being stoked for a shot at the IC title. Punk brings up the legacy of the Intercontinental Title and adding himself to that elite list. He brings up Regal defeating him in the King of the Ring finals last Spring and also Regal’s cheap shot last week. Punk says tonight he’s gonna start the new year off with a bang by becoming the new IC Champ.

WWE Intercontinental Championship: CM Punk vs. William Regal (c) (w. Layla)
Punk opens up with a barrage of kicks getting a one count. Snap suplex gets a two count for Punk. Punk hits with a few knees before sending Regal to the floor. Punk goes for a suicide dive, but Regal uses Layla as a shield. Punk tries to go out after Regal, but gets pulled to the floor allowing Regal to slide inside and take control. Regal pounds Punk down with several forearms and a cover gets a one count. Irish whip into the corner by Regal is followed with a big punch for two. Regal locks in a full nelson, but Punk fights out of that. Regal takes a spin kick to the head which gets two for Punk. Into the corner Punk hits a high knee. A bulldog attempt is blocked, but Regal sets up for the GTS. Regal grabs a hold of referee Mike Chioda to block the move which draws the ultra lame DQ. So that entire tournament was for that? Crowd shits all over it, and rightfully so. Regal is leaving, but Stephanie shows up on the Titantron to inform Regal that he will give Punk a rematch and if Regal is disqualified he loses the title. Well that somewhat redeems it, but this still sucked given the buildup.
Winner: CM Punk (Disqualification-Regal Retains Championship *)

-JBL is talking to Shawn Michaels. He talks about how well this worked out for him. He tells Shawn all he needs to do is superkick Shawn and force Cena to have to forfeit the belt to him. Shawn stands up possibly to protest, but JBL informs him that this isn’t about the Rumble. He was hired to get JBL to Wrestlemania 25 as the conquering hero returning to Texas. He tells Shawn that he’ll never have to worry about a bill the rest of his life.

-Randy Orton is with Cody Rhodes and Sim Snuka. He tells them they both won last week and completed phase one. Orton tells them if they want to be apart of his group they have to win their match tonight. He says he wont accept failure. That brings in Manu who asks for another chance to prove himself. Manu informs Randy that no one is perfect and even Randy himself last week. Wrong thing to say pal. Orton states he won the main event of Wrestlemania, and Manu has done nothing. He says his father and him are nothing compared to Randy and his father. Orton says half of these people don’t even know his name. He says Manu will never be apart of his group, and he never wants to see his face again.

-Dolph Ziggler introduces himself to Mickie in the back as Kofi and Rey walk by.

The Miz & John Morrison vs. Kofi Kingston & Rey Mysterio
Miz and Morrison chastise the crowd for booing them. Morrison states that a city that just became the murder capital of the US shouldn’t really be judging them. They apologize for being World Tag Team Champs, 2X Slammy Award Winners, Saving the environment one low flow toilet flush at a time, and being the best tag team of the 21st Century. Contrary to prior reports this match appears to be non-title. On screen graphic announces both Rey and Kofi are in the Royal Rumble. Miz starts with Kofi. Crossbody by Kofi is followed by an armdrag which causes Miz to bail to the floor. Kofi threatens a tope but stops himself on the ropes as we head to break. Back from commercial and Miz has Rey in an armbar. Rey fights out and sends Miz into the corner buckle with a hurracanrana. That allows Rey to make the tag to Kofi. Kofi is in with a chop and a dropkick. He slides to the floor to avoid a shot from Morrison and pulls Morrison down with him. Back inside he looks to go up to the top rope, but Morrison sends him crashing allowing Miz to regain control. After a few shots to the knee Miz tags in Morrison who goes to work on the knee some more. To the floor Morrison continues to work the knee driving it into the ring apron. Tag to Miz who continues with the stomps to the knee and wrenches away at it. Miz moves to a front facelock. Kofi tries to power into the corner to tag, but Miz lets go and sends Rey to the floor. He walks into a backdrop at Kofi which would allow Kofi to tag, but Rey is on the floor. Seconds before Rey can get to him Miz pulls him back to the center and tags in Morrison. Morrison continues the assault stomping away and hitting a knee to the face for two. Kofi hits a hurracanrana from his back and again tries to tag but Morrison is able to stop that and tag in Miz. Kofi is placed on the top rope, but is able to fight Miz off and hit a dropkick off the second rope. That finally allows the hot tag to Rey as Miz tags Morrison. Rey hits a hurracanrana and rolls through a sunset flip with a dropkick to the face getting two. Springboard dropkick is blocked by Morrison into a facebuster for two. That gets two. Rey is able to counter into an armdrag flipping of the top but Miz breaks up the count. Miz looks to powerbomb, but Rey falls the apron. Kofi connects with a crossbody sending both him and Morrison to the floor. Dropkick to Morrison sets up the 619 which connects. It should be noted that this was about the lamest 619 set up ever as Morrison literally had to crawl half way across the ring and set himself up on the second rope. Quick distraction from Miz allows Morrison time to spin kick Rey on the springboard attempt which picks up the victory. Afterward Knox attacks Mysterio again this time clotheslining him on the second rope. A big boot by Knox sends Rey crashing to the floor.
Winners: The Miz & John Morrison (Morrison pins Mysterio-Spin Kick **3/4)

-Cena approaches Shawn Michaels and asks him if he’s fighting two guys or three guys tonight. Shawn says he’s nobodies puppet. As for what to expect, he asks Cena what does history tell him to expect.

Kelly Kelly vs. Jillian Hall
Jillian greets us with a rousing rendition of “When the Saints Go Marching In.” Isn’t it time to end this wretched gimmick yet? Kelly takes down Jillian and hits a front face lock. Jillian powers out of that sitting Kelly on the apron. She attacks Kelly on the way back in to take control . Pair of snap mares sets up a kick for two. Kick to the back sets up a modified camel clutch, I guess. Jillian hits a biel with the hair and that gets a two count. Next up Jillian locks in a full nelson. Kelly hits what is called a “great counter” by Michael Cole but really just amounted to her standing up and sitting down while Jillian let go. Kelly hits a tilt-a-whirl hurracanrana and follows up with a crossbody off the top for two. Trio of clotheslines gets a one count for Kelly. Kelly tries a victory roll, but Jillian sort of blocks it and gets a two count. Jillian tries to flip into the corner but is met by Kelly’s boot. That puts her down to her knees which allows Kelly to hit a legdrop to the back of the neck while standing on Jillian’s back which gets the victory. Afterwards Jillian attacks Kelly, and that brings out Kane. Jillian bails which leaves Kelly alone with Kane. Kane calls her out for protecting Orton and asks her if it feels good getting rejected. He says next week he’s gonna go back to doing what feels good to him and that’s eviscerating people. Next week Kane will face Randy Orton, and tells her she’s free to watch. As for that match it was absolutely wretched. Kelly is improving, but Jillian is hardly the woman to have her in the ring with at this point.
Winner: Kelly Kelly (Pinfall-Legdrop DUD)

Cody Rhodes & Sim Snuka vs. Cryme Tyme
So Cody and Sim have to win to be in Orton’s group. JTG starts with Snuka. Snuka goes for a rollup which is blocked. Inside cradle attempt by Snuka gets a two count. JTG comes with a shoulder block getting a two count. Tag to Shad sets up another shoulderblock. Back elbow by Shad is followed by a tag to JTG. JTG is thrown into Snuka. Rhodes has seen enough and tries to break things up but gets a right hand for his trouble. The distraction allows Snuka to take control shortly but he again gets taken down with a dropkick. Live event calendar tells us WWE will be in Des Moines, IA on Sunday. Rumor is yours truly will be there. Cody gets the tag after Snuka hits a kick. Cody sends JT to the apron and with the refs back turned a Snuka cheapshot allow the heels to gain control. Bodyslam by Cody sets up a tag to Snuka who comes off the ropes with a fistdrop for two. Snuka hits a chinlock from there proving he is already learning well from his mentor Randy. JTG fights out of that and hits a headlock take down which takes both men out. Snuka tags in Cody, but JTG makes the hot tag to Shad. Huge backdrop from Shad is followed up by a shot for Sim sending him to the floor. Elbow drop to Cody sets up a cover that is broken up by Snuka. Shad tries a corner charge but posts himself. He is able to make the tag to JTG however who comes in with a sunset flip for two. Cody goes for the DDT after a counter sequence, but instead turns it into what appears to be a yet to be named new finisher, and that picks up the victory and officially gives birth to the Legacy. Fun little match, which is a bit surprising given the players
Winners: Cody Rhodes & Sim Snuka (Cody pins JTG **)

-JBL is leaving Stephanie McMahon’s office with a smile on his face.

-Cody & Snuka meet up with Orton in the back. Orton informs Snuka he’s out. Snuka doesn’t understand because they won. Orton says he doesn’t have time to argue, but tells him Cody won. It was a test to see who the weak link was. Orton asks Cody what he thinks and Cody says all he knows as that he won the match.

-Santino and Beth is in Stephanie’s office. Santino asks why Rosa is “banded.” Stephanie tells him that she is out of control. Beth thanks him, but Santino says its not her fault. No woman can resist him. Beth again thanks Steph and drags Santino out by his hair. That brings Jericho in. Jericho asks Stephanie if JBL was paying her off? Stephanie asks him if he really thinks she needs JBL’s money? Jericho informs Steph that when he filed his protest he not only filed it with her, but he filed it with her father. She tells him her father is now out of the picture, but Jericho says he thought so too. But he got a call from Vince’s office and in two weeks Vince McMahon will be back on Raw! Stephanie is stunned.

-CM Punk vs. William Regal for the Intercontinental Title is announced for next week

Randy Orton & Chris Jericho vs. Shawn Michaels & John Cena
Cena starts with Jericho. Jericho quickly takes control with a headlock takedown. Cena comes up out of that but is met with a shoulderblock. Leapfrog by Cena and then he takes Jericho down with a headlock takeover of his own. Michaels makes a blind tag as Cena puts Jericho up for the FU. Michaels comes in and looks to deliver Sweet Chin Music but both Jericho and Cena move. Tension mounts as we don’t know who it was intended for. Jericho rolls to the floor as JBL comes out for a closer look. That sends us to commercial. Back from break and Orton has Shawn in a headlock. Shawn quickly counters into a suplex. That sets up the hot tag to Cena who hits Orton with shoulderblocks and a protoplex. Five Knuckle Shuffle connects from Cena and that sets up an FU attempt. Orton rakes the eyes to get away and Cena now blinded tries to FU Shawn. Shawn gets out of that and a quick argument allows the heels to attack Cena. Orton tags in Jericho as he stomps away at the head of Cena. Jericho pounds away in the corner as the ref pulls him away. That allows a cheapshot from Orton. Jericho knocks Cena to the floor with a baseball slide. Outside now Jericho rams Cena into the announce table and fires him back inside. Jericho shoots himself inside with a splash to the back of Cena which picks up a two count. Jericho hits the sleeper with the arm in half nelson submission which seems to be the newest hold in every WWE guys arsenal. Cena tries to counter into an FU, but Jericho counters back with a DDT getting two. Tag to Orton sees him continue to pound away at Cena’s back. Orton stomp gets a two count. Orton continues to stomp away at the mid section of Cena. Orton chokes Cena out with his boot in the corner before tagging into Jericho. Cena fires back but runs into a sleeper from Jericho. Shawn kind of alligator arms on the tag attempt which prevents Cena from tagging out as he fades. Cena eventually fights his way out of the sleeper but runs into a clothesline from Jericho. Cena is placed on the top turnbuckle as Jericho goes for a superplex. Cena is able to fight that off sending Jericho to the mat. That sets up the top rope legdrop to the back of the head of Jericho. Both men are down looking to tag. Orton makes the tag quickly and is able to prevent Cena from making the hot tag. Orton pounds away some more on Cena , but misses a dropkick with Cena coming off the ropes. Again both men are down looking to tag. Cena is able to tag Shawn who turns and looks to take out Cena, but stops and instead attacks Jericho. Flying forearm is followed up with an inverted atomic drop. A second attempt is countered by Jericho. Lionsault attempt is blocked by Michaels with the knees. Slam to Jericho sets up the top rope elbow, but Jericho gets his knees up and again both men are out. Back up and Michaels walks into a Walls of Jericho attempt. Michaels counters that with a small package with Orton breaks up. Cena is in now but runs into the headlock backbreaker. Orton goes for the RKO but Cena pushes him off into Sweet Chin Music. Another Sweet Chin Music connects to Jericho. A quick stand off between Cena and Michaels before Shawn covers Jericho for the victory. Fantastic Match from four of the best in the company.
Winners: Shawn Michaels & John Cena (Michaels pins Jericho-Sweet Chin Music ***1/2)

-Todd Grisham meets up with JBL. He says his employee was pretty good out there tonight, but we’ll see how good he is next week. JBL reveals his meeting with Steph was to set up a Cena-Michaels match for next Monday Night. And just to make sure Shawn’s integrity is in tact. JBL will personally be in HBK’s corner.

-Thats all for this week, another fantastic Raw as the Road to the Rumble is setting up quite nicely. Everything really clicked this week save for the horrid womens match and the shoddy Punk-Regal ending. Those are minor complaints though. This was a great show.