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411’s WWE RAW Report 1.8.18

January 8, 2018 | Posted by Tony Acero
Finn Balor Club Raw 1818

It’s 2018, and nothing has changed but my underwear. I will let you know, however, that I am officially working on three major projects that I’m hoping you all will support when the time comes! I’m helping a friend write a TV Show, starting a podcast from a bartender’s perspective, and writing my third book! This, plus the RAW Report and Raw Reaction podcast I do after RAW every week will likely leave me creatively exhausted! Looks like it’s missionary for Vanessa for quite some time…



We start RAW with a recap of Reigns and Joe’s match from last week.

We’re live in Memphis, and so is Roman Reigns! He comes out on Elvis’ birthday, and if he doesn’t mention Great Balls of Fire, he’s just not smart.

Reigns says we would think Joe was ready for Reigns, but he wasn’t, and he was silenced. The crowd WHAT’s Reigns. He says he is still the IC Champ, not because he’s better, but because he was fighting with a purpose – he was fighting for his brother Dean Ambrose. He wants to put this out there to anyone back there: if you mess with one member of The Shield, you mess with all of them.

Jason Jordan comes out with his big red belt and a huge smile.

Jordan gets some boos too, as well as a DADDY’S BOY chant. He claims he had goosebumps last night while watching Reigns. Jordan then says when someone messes with one of us, they mess with all of us, and on behalf of his partner, Seth Rollins, Jordan wants to say that Reigns proved that this is his yard. On behalf of he and Seth, he wants to say thank you.


Jordan extends the fist for Reigns. Reigns stares at it until Seth’s music hits. He says he has a lot to teach Jordan. We’re really going to have to work on timing. He knows Jordan means well, but he’ skind of stepping on Roman’s moment.

Jordan says this is everyone’s moment. They all have issues with Joe, and Roman took care of it, just like they took care of The Bar, and now they’re all champs, and they run this show.

Reigns says enough with this “we” stuff. Jordan is a team with Seth, and Reigns is THEE guy.

Jordan says they’ll take on the whole locker room. They aren’t quite The Shield, but you’ll have to admit that they’re pretty good. They may be the most dominant 3-man group in all of the WWE.

Finny boy, where you at…

And of course, here he is with his buddies.

Finn is aware that Jordan is excited, but he’s not part of the most dominant three-man group in all of the WWE. He’s been running with Gallows and Anderson for 10 years, before Jordan knew Angle was his dad. Finn chuckles, so he’s 20% Heel now.

Anderson says they’ve been running with Finn for a long time, and there’s a special all about it on the Network.

Gallows says they knew it was time for them to stand alone. They won the tag team championships, while Finn made history by becoming the first ever Universal Champion. They were doing their own things, but eventually they knew that they’d come together and take this place over.

The three dudes enter the ring.

Jordan calls his group Champions Club.

Anderson wonders if this is some cheap version of The Shield, cuz all Finn sees is The Architect, The Big Dog, and….

Gallows calls him a nerd.

Jordan attacks, everyone stops, Angle comes out to make the match.

After Sasha and Bayley come out, we get a recap of all the ladies loving one another due to the announcement of the Rumble match.

Then we hit real time where Sasha and Bayley hate Absolution all over again.

I dig Sonya Deville’s robe.

I also dig Mandy’s ass.

Match 1: Sasha Banks and Bayley vs Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville

Mandy and Bayley start. Bayley with a side headlock. Rope work results in a shoulder tackle by Mandy. She hits the ropes, hops over bayley. Bayley looks for a leap frog, but Mandy catches her and tosses her in the corner. Bayley reverses and beats her down. Ref stops her, so Mandy does the same with some rights in the corner. Mandy talks some shit to Sasha then gets kicked by Bayley. Bayley with a right. Mandy hits a delayed body slam. Cover for 1..2…NO! Cravat from behind by mandy. Mandy works the arm, but Bayley hits ano ver the head suplex. Mandy rolls to the outside as we hit a commercial.

Back, and Mandy drops Sasha down on her back. She runs the ropes, runs under Sasha, gets hip tossed then Sasha hits double knees and a pin for 1..2..NO! Mandy with right hands, while holding onto Sasha. She shoves the face a few times, which upset Sasha enoguh to hit a hard slap directly to the face. Sasha blocks a right, hits one of her own, then runs to knock Sonya down. Mandy takes advantage, hits a kick, then covers for 1..2..NO! Tag to Deville. She hits a right hand, then a kick to the corner. A few more. Snapmare into a leg scissors from behind. Sonya attacks the mid section with some hard uppercut rights. She’s hyped up. She grabs the ankle of Sasha and drags her to the heel corner. Mandy tags then walks in with a kick to the gut. Mandy drives Sasha’s neck to the ropes then locks her up and hits a kick to the kidney. She locks her uop again on the ropes and gets another kick in, this time with the help of Sonya. Tag. Sonya in with a cover for 1..2…NO! We get a double knockout and both girls are down. Tag to Mandy. Sasha nearly gets hers, but Mandy drops an axe on her back then shoves Bayley off the apron. Mandy locks Sasha up on the ropes yet again. Bayley distracts the ref like a dummy, and Sonya slingshots Sasha backwards. Mandy turns right into a rollup. Sonya in to break it up. Bayley in to send Sonya back out. She attacks with rights on the outside.

Mandy whips Sasha inside, but Sasha holds on, turns it into a Bank Statement! Mandy taps!

Mandy and Sonya looked way better here than they have since debuting, and it had little to do with wrestling, but a lot to do with attitude.
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **1/2
Total Rating: **1/4

Cole and Corey namedrop Dudleyz and APA as possible members of the 25th Anny of RAW then bring up the fact that Kane has been here longer than I’ve had pubes.

We get a recap of that thrilling moment of RAW where Kane was pulled back by jobbers cuz they all care about Brock.

We are also reminded that Goldust found a new black partner and is no longer mean.

Backstage, Goldust is wearing a beanie next to Cedric. He thinks he’s Mickey from Rocky. Cedric says he doesn’t need the pep talk. He’s been dreaming of this since he was 5. He was laughed at. Goldust knows what this feels like. Cedric is super close to making the dream a reality. Goldust says there is one thing standing in the way – not Enzo, not the Zo Train, it’s Cedric. He is in control, not them. Goldy goes back to Mickey, chokes on his dialogue, then scoffs.

Back to Cole and Co who brings up the Mixed Match challenge thing on FB, where Goldust without makeup finds a partner in Alicia Fox.

Someone breaks a glass cup.

Oh, nevermind, it’s Matt Hardy’s new entrance. It sounds like an Addams Family redux, and because the WWE is stupid as shit, the images and videos behind Matt still scream The Hardy Boyz, complete with purple and green text that spell out The Hardy Boyz.

Matt Hardy will be in the Royal Rumble.

Match 2: Matt Hardy vs Curt Hawkins

Hawkins ties himself up in with the ropes to distract, then hits a right to the gut. He works the left arm until Matt bites him. Matt with right hands. He sends Curt in the corner and beats down on him over and over. Matt drops an elbow on the head then hits a neckbreaker, and he already displays more difference between he and the Woke fool than Finn/Demon. Matt rushes the corner, eats an elbow, then dodges a crossbody. Matt sends Curtis in the corner and we get the DELETE head shoves into the turnbuckle. Clothesline in the corner, then a Side Effect.

Matt calls for Deletion. Twist of Fate. Cover for 1..2….3!!!

Winner: Matt Hardy
Good for you, Matt.
Match Quality:
Personal Enjoyment:
Total Rating:

Bray cuts any celebration that could have happened short by turning off the lights, then appearing in the ring with only a spotlight. Matt turns and scowls. They stare each other down. Matt laughs in Bray’s face maniacally. Bray cackles as well, and we get a laugh off in the middle of the ring.

We’ve seen this already, WWE….this is not progressional storytelling; this is repetition.

What do you think, Bo?

Elias is here to play some strings.

Elias says today is a very special day, and there’s no place to celebrate than in Memphis.

Elias sings about Elvis’ birthday, then gets booed. This ultimately leads to the entrance of The Miz, and I’ve missed this guy.

The Miz comes out, sided by Axel and Dallas.


Miz does his introduction to Miz TV. He is back on RAW, and in his absence, he was not forgotten. He is the glue that holds RAW together because of the valiant efforts of his two guests….Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel! In 2017, they turned their careers around.

Axel calls 2017 the best year of his life. Every day was Mizmas!

Bo thanks Miz. He then starts a chant. Bo got him a present. It’s a framed photo of Miz. Bo says it’ll be tough sleeping without that tonight. Axel has a gift also.

Loved that little comment slid in.

Axel removes his jacket and hands it to Miz, saying he got him a brand new Sports Coat. Bo offers his watch. Bo and Axel then start arguing . Miz shuts them up with his hand up then tells them to sit down. Miz says 2017 was an incredible year for Miz, but he’s got a lot more planned. He held the IC Title for 200 days, elevated careers, RAW, and Smackdown. He’s Rolling Stones Superstar of the Year! But he has not forgotten about this:

We go to two months ago when The Shield powerbombed Miz.

Miz wanted the IC TItle to be bigger than him in his absence, but it’s obvious that the title doesn’t make the champion, the champion makes the title, and Daddy is home. In 2018, he will celebrate the birth of his daughter. In 2018, he will become the longest reigning IC Champion of all time. He will be placed amongst the greats. He will be the one and only person thought of with the title. He directs a statement to Roman. He hopes he enjoyed the time in the spotlight that Miz allowed him to have. Miz is back, and he is coming for his Intercontinental Championship.

Miz drops the mic.

Backstage, The Balor Club is chattin it up. Finn wants to talk about new memories and want to talk strategy. Anderson says they are talking strategy. They namedrop some Japanese names. The situation may be different, but the tactics remain the same. Anderson brings up his hot Asian wife. Finn says tonight, they have a real opportunity that 2018 is the year of Balor Club.

Enzo is in the ring to talk about being sick, thanks Nia for the chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side. He brings up watching RAW and seeing Cedric teaming with Goldust. Zen moment. Clarity. Cedric is teaming with Goldust because it’s the closest he’s getting to gold in 2018. Enzo is ending 2018 the same way he closed out 2017; the champ. I mean, technically, you could lose the belt several times and that’d still be true…

Match 3: WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match
Enzo Amore vs Cedric Alexander

Enzo backs in the corner, using the rules to his advantage. Cedric decks him with a right hand. Enzo rolls out of the ring, shocked, then yells that Cedric doesn’t deserve to be in the ring with Enzo. Cedric escapes, chases Enzo around the ring, then hops on the apron and kicks Enzo hard. Nia Jax is watching backstage, so she’ll probably get involved. Cedric send Enzo to the outside apron, then mounts the top turnbuckle. The ref stops him. Enzo shoves Cedric off the corner, and he tumbles to the mats outside.

Back from a break, and Enzo has a side headlock in the middle of the ring. Enzo hits a move in the corner then covers for 1..2…NO! Enzo with some cross face hits to the face from behind. He pulls back on the left arm of Cedric then drops an elbow to the back of the head. Enzo hits the ropes. Dropkick to Cedric. Cover for 1..2…NO! Enzo with the cravat from behind. Up in the corner, and Enzo hits a knee to Cedric. Enzo hops off the 2nd rope, but Cedric hits a dropkick! Both men up. Clothesline from Cedric. Knocks him down again. Kick to Enzo. Cedric frontflips, comes back with a huge kick to the side of Enzo’s face. Enzo is bleeding just above the eye! Cedric locks up from behind. Enzo tries to escape, does so with elbows, sends Cedric to the outside. Cedric with a high kick from the outside through the ropes! Cedric with a springboard clothesline!!! Enzo rolls to the outside! Cedric hits the ropes. CEDRIC WITH A FRONT FLIP TO THE BACK OF ENZO! Enzo apparently lands awkwardly on his ankle. The doc checks on Enzo, tries to wipe the lood, and Enzo gets mad! The ref hits 8.

Cedric rolls into the ring. Enzo grabs the ropes. He looks to roll in, but realizes what’s happening, and falls back! Enzo lays out as the count hits 10 and the bell rings.

Winner: Cedric Alexander
Sometimes blood changes the fabric of a match for the better, and this was one of them. Also, Enzo’s heelish ways were nice.
Match Quality: *1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: *3/4

Backstage, Enzo is being checked on. Doc wants XRays and an MRI. In comes Nia to check on Enzo’s ankle. Enzo says he’s Gucci and 100. That means he’s like supremely good, guys. That’s what that means, k.

Enzo then lays back and screams in agony once Nia leaves.

Backstage, Angle is talking to a woman who hasn’t been in the ring in years because she’d be great in the Rumble match.

In come The Bar. Sheamus says last week, they were promised a contractually obligated rematch, yet tonight Jordan and Seth are in a match against Balor Club just to keep Jordan away from The Bar. Sheamus and Cesaro smell favoritism. Angle says he smells opportunity. They have the opportunity to reclaim the titles at The Royal Rumble PPV. Sheamus is excited. Says this is great news. Sheamus says what about tonight? Angle says go to the ring, and Angle will find some competition.

In comes The Miz. Angle welcomes him back. Miz is about to clap the shoulder, but Angle tells him not to touch him. Miz takes offense, then says that while hosting Miz TV, USA Network was waiting for him to mention Miz’s new unscripted series, starring Miz and Maryse. They know how to run a show. USA knows how to run a show, but Angle does not. He can prove it, though. He can give Miz a rematch for the IC Title. Miz wants this to be a huge deal, though. He wants the title shot at the 25th anniversary of Monday Night RAw. Angle calls this a good idea, and books it.

Miz and Asuka will be winning the Mixed Match Challenge.

Backstage, Asuka is stretching. Alexa comes in. She brings up last week, says Asuka got lucky, and to enjoy it because her luck is about to run out. When Nia hears what Asuka called her, Alexa wouldn’t want to be her.

Cesaro and Sheamus wait in the ring for their opponents, and after some pause, the music of Titus Worldwide. Literally the only person excited about this is Michael Cole.

Match 4: Titus O’Neil and Apollo Crews vs Sheamus and Cesaro

Sheamus punks Titus with a grin. Titus chases him into the corner. Kick from Sheamus. Titus gets Sheamus in the corner. Tag to Apollo. Sheamus sends Apollo in the corner then tags Cesaro. Cesaro with an uppercut. Apollo fires back but Cesaro hits anotheruppercut. Cravat from behind. Dropkick from Apollo, then a standing moonsault. Pin for 1…2…NO! Apollo goes for a suplex, but Cesaro floats out. Tag from Sheamus. Apollo hits the ropes. Sheamus holds the ropes and Apollo flies over the ropes and falls directly on jhis knees. Sheamus hops to the outside and attacks Apollo. He tosses Apollo into the barricade then back into the ring. Sheamus grabs the leg, tags in Cesaro, and they wishbone his ass. Tag to Sheamus again, and they double clothesline Apollo down. Sheamus drops a knee then covers for 1..2..NO! Shemaus locks the arm immediately. Sheamus with a facelock from behind. Shemaus locks the head, goes for a suplex, but Apollo turns it into a cradle for 1..2…NO! Apollo whips Sheamus into the corner hard. Cesaro tags himself in. Titus gets a tag. He trucks down Cesaro, then splashs Sheamus to the outside. Cesrao in the corner. Splash from Titus. Body slam into a pin for 1..2..NO! Titus lifts Cesaro. Cesaro floats. Shemaus distracts. Cesaro attacks and hangs Titus on the ropes. Sheamus kicks as Cesaro distracts. Tag to Sheamus. He’s in to grab the head of Titu. Cesaro hits the ropes, but Apollo is there to send Cesaro outside.

Sheamus goes for a Brogue kick, Apollo with a moonsault to escape, landing on Cesaro! Titus rolls up Sheamus! Pin for 1..2….3!!!

Winners: Titus O’Neil and Apollo Crews
Oh, so they matter now…
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **

Cole explains the rules of a Triple Threat while Brock Lesnar comes down to the ring as if we are completely unaware.

Heyman introduces himself and Brock. He says we should appreciate the code of the industry that’s called Old School. That’s something both he and Brock have a lot of respect for, but they’ve never let it blind them to the fact that this is a progressive industry. There is always a need for fresh and innovative ideas for the product and the marketing. However, Heyman will be a bit of a hypocrite, because they have gotten away from something that is very old school, which takes away from the historical significance of the tenure of Brock Lesnar. Old school way of promoting a title match was to find a challenger, one man, to step up and challenge the champion, by saying they are worthy of taking on the baddest dude on the planet. The challenger takes this opportunity to rise to be the champion, but we have gotten away from that. The title is not marketed as who can step up to Brock Lesnar, it’s marketing as “How Can Brock Lesnar Survive This Predicament.” Brock thinks this concept sucks, and Heyman doesn’t like this. Last week, Brock took Kane’s best shot and laughed in Kane’s face the same way he’s going to do at The Royal Rumble.

Here’s where we are going now – Brock doesn’t walk into the Royal Rumble with a cliffhanger of how will Brock survive? No, the only cliffhanger is will Brock pin Kane, pin Braun, or just stack them up and pin them both. This is the most dominant champion in the history of WWE and he has yet to see anyone that can beat Brock, outfight him, or put down the champion.

Brock walks up the ramp, gloating. Kane attacks from behind. He beats Brock down on the side of the stage. Brock knees back. They shuffle into the backstage area. Brock with some knees. BRAUN comes out of nowhere and tosses Brock like a fucking dart into some food containers. Brock lifts up a container on wheels then tosses it on top of Kane!!! Braun isn’t done. He goes to a box and opens it up. I assume it belongs to Batman, because there is a grappling hook in there. Braun pulls said hook out of the ring and tosses it up atop some black scoffolding nearby Kane. The hook latches on as if Braun has done this before. Braun pulls hard until the huge structure falls atop Kane and Braun. Well, we assume it does.

That was a totally believable and non-fake segment. Totally.

Cole uses his Anal Fissures voice.

Match 5: Rhyno vs Samoa Joe

Lockup in the center of the ring. Joe with hard rights over and over. Headbutt to Rhyno. Rhyno comes off the ropes with some rights. Whip is reversed and Joe sends aback elbow into the corner. High kick to the head. Chops from Joe. Rhyno fires back with some of his own. Headbutt from Joe. Joe with some kicks to the chest of a kneed Rhyno. Rhyno tries to fight back, whips, and gets kicked. STO from Joe and a cover for 1..2.NO! Senton from Joe and another cover! Slater tries to pump up Rhyno, but joe ain’t havin it. He hits a few rights.

Rhyno gets Joe on his shoulders, but Joe floats off and locks in The Clutch. Rhyno taps.

Winner: Samoa Joe
Joe Is Gonna Kill You
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *

Joe calls the victory impressive, but doesn’t take the sting off from last week. Joe says he didn’t lose last week. He calls last week a Pyrrhic victory, and explains that it means the match took a huge toll on Reigns that it may has well have been a loss. Joe says he will pursue more worthy things until the time comes to expose the cracks of Reigns, and those worthy things are entering the Royal Rumble. Charley asks how Joe compares to people like Orton, Shinsuke, Cena, Balor.

Joe cringes at the mention of Cena’s name. Joe says Cena is a name that he will never forget, and at the Rumble, Cena will be the first man Joe eliminates.

Alexa speaks to Nia about Enzo holding her back, but Nia says Enzo inspires her. She wants to be a champ. So she’s going to enter the Rumble. Alexa says a lot of people are choosing Asuka, but if Nia takes Asuka out before the Rumble, then everyone is happy. Nia tells Alexa to can it, then asks her to speak. Nia wants to know what Asuka said about Nia. Alexa says she doesn’t wanna tell her now. Alexa isn’t going to tell Nia something that will hurt her feelings. Nia’s pink braids turn red with fury after Alexa tells her what Asuka said. Nia wonders if Alexa speaks Japanese because ASuka doesn’t speak English.

Ah yes, we’ve never heard Asuka speak English….

Asuka comes down to the ring for what I assume is a match. Asuka enters the ring, then gets blindsided by Nia Jax with an Electric Chair Drop. So, Nia “takes out” Asuka with one move so that she isn’t at 100% at the event that is almost three weeks away. Sure, Cole…Sure….

We get nice photos of The Balor Club teaming up back in the day while the commentary team takes shots at anyone even closely related to said club. Petty ass.

Match 6: Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, and Jason Jordan vs The Balor Club

Seth and Finn to start. Finn with the go behind. Headlock takedown. Seth escapes, gets one of his own. Finn escapes as well. Kick from Seth, they do some rope work, dropkick from Finn. Cover doesn’t get a count. Finn works the arm and tags in Anderson. Kick and a backbreaker. Cover for 1..2.NO! Anderson works the left arm. Tag to Gallows. DOuble team but Sethl ands on his feet. Tag from Reigns who hits a Samoan Drop to Gallows. Finn runs in and gets hit with a double shoulder tackle. Galows and Anderson on the outside. Reigns with a Drive By to both of them! Seth, Roman, and Jordan are in the ring staring down The Balor Club. Jordan doesn’t fit in.

We’re back and Seth is sending Finn into the 2nd turnbuckle face first. Tag to Reigns, who comes in with a hard clothesline. Another to Finn. Whip to the ropes is reversed but Reigns hits a third one anyway. He gets the beatdown in the corner over and over then tosses Finn. Big Boot to Finn! Reigns calls for the Superman Punch. Gallows interferes and Finn hits the slingblade! Tag to Anderson. He mounts Reigns. Right hands then a cover. 1..2..NO! Anderson sends Reigns in the corner and hits a right. Tag to Gallows. Kick to Reigns and an uppercut. Reigns in seated position. Gallows grabs the head and hits a high kick to the sdie of the head! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Cravat from behind by Gallows. Reigns turns into the hold. Reigns with right hands to the gut. And there is a gut. Gallows sends Reigns down hard by the hair. Tag to Anderson. Andesron stomps the right arm. He pulls Reigns back down to the mat and drives a knee into his face. Cover for 1..2…NO! Cravat from the side by Anderson. Kick from Anderson. Right hand. He hits the ropes and runs right into a tilt-a-whirl slam! Tag to Gallows. He steps on the back of Reigns to stop the tag. He lifts Reigns then locks up. Suplex. Cover. Gallows drives some elbows into the chest of Reigns then gets a chinlock in. Reigns escapes. Hits the ropes. SUPERMAN PUNCH! Tag to Seth. Tag to Anderson. Seth rushes in and drops Anderson, then shoves Finn off. Blockbuster to Anderson. Suicide Dive to Gallows and Finn! Seth with a slingblade. Suplex from Seth, roll through, Falcon Arrow! Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Seth waits for Anderson. Lockup from behind. Anderson grabs the ropes. Gallows in from behnid. He locks up Serth. Anderson runs into a boot. Jordan enters and sneds Gallows to the outside. Spinebuster from Anderson! Pin for 1..2…NO!! Jordan back on the apron, waiting for a tag. Anderson holds Seth’s foot. He drags him to the heel corner. Finn tags in Gallows. He rushes the corner and sends Jordan to the floor. Enziguri from Seth! Reigns is up on the apron. Tag to finn! He runs in, gets aught, and dropped by Rollins. Tag to Reigns. Jordan enters the ring. The ref didn’t see the tag. Magic Killer to Seth Rollins. Reigns uppercuts Gallows and Anderson. Jordan enters the ring while Reigns talks shit to him, asking what he’s doing. Reigns is pissed. He gets pulled out of the ring. Reigns sends Gallows into the ringpost and Superman Punches Anderson, then Spears Anderson!

Jordan grabs Seth and lifts him up. Balor with a dropkick to Seth. Balor sends Jordan off the apron. Coup De Grace. Pin for 1..2…3!!!!

Winners: The Balor Club
I feel like this could have been better…
Match Quality: **3/4
Personal Enjoyment: **3/4
Total Rating: **3/4

Reigns is pissed. Jordan checks on Rollins. but is attacked by Miz, Bo, and Axel! They send Seth to the outside then enter the ring and all three men attack Reigns! Bo and Axel lift Reigns. Skull Crushing Finale to Reigns! Miz is all smiles.

Miz and Co are about to leave the ring, but some of the crowd wants one more! Miz directs his cohorts towards Reigns, and we’re going to get another attack. Ah, but instead of the Skull Crushing Finale, we get Bo and Curtis lift Reigns and place him on the shoulders of Miz, then drop Reigns with a powerbomb!

End Show

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411's WWE RAW Report, RAW, WWE, Tony Acero