411’s WWE Smackdown! Report 05.08.09

Welcome to 411’s Weekly Smackdown! Report. I am JP Truss aka JP II your play-by-play man for Smackdown! We are live from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania with Jim Ross and Todd Grisham at ringside.

Rey Mysterio: Face of Smackdown?

General Manager Theodore R. Long is in the ring and welcomes back Rey Mysterio to Smackdown. After his copyrighted entrances and an ovation from the crowd, Rey takes the mic and says he is glad to be back on Smackdown. Last week, Rey mentions that he came close to winning the Fatal 4 Way, but that night Jeff Hardy was the better man. It was all good though, because Rey knows he will get another opportunity to be World Champion. Until then he will continue to defend the Intercontinental Championship against anyone.

PYRO!

Chris Jericho makes his appearance without his suit. Boo-urns. Jericho tells Long that he, not Rey, is the Face of Smackdown. So Long should introduce him instead. Long refuses and Jericho tells him that he knew he would because Jericho doesn’t have the same thought process that Long does. Jericho reminds Long that he is a 5 Time World Champion, 8 Time Intercontinental Champion, the 2008 Superstar of the Year and him just being in the ring made Smackdown a higher profile show. Yet all he got was disrespect from the fans, the locker room, and ‘inept, fly by night’ GMs like Long.

Long: “Hold on just a second playa.”
Jericho: “No you hold on a second player.”

Jericho demands that Long apologizes to him as well as an explanation why he was disqualified last week. According to Jericho no one has ever been disqualified in a Fatal Four Way match in the history of the WWE, yet he was. Jericho points out that although he threw a chair at Rey, he didn’t have a chance of winning anyway. Jericho again demands a Championship match and Rey tells Jericho to shut up.

This brings a laugh to Jericho, who tells Rey to watch his mouth. Rey again tells Jericho to shut up and shoves Jericho to the mat. Rey tells Jericho to own up to the fact that he lost says something in Spanish and then tells Jericho the fans don’t need to hear his crap and leaves. Jericho gets back on his feet and begins taunting Rey well, until Jeff’s music hits anyway. Jericho appears shocked, shocked I say, as Jeff enters the ring. Somehow Jeff gets a microphone (must have brought it with him or took Rey’s or something) and tells Jericho that if he wants competition he has to face him. A ‘Hardy’ chant starts and Jeff tells Jericho that if it wasn’t for the people Jericho wouldn’t be here and yet he called them ‘liars’ and ‘hypocrites’. However, since Jeff’s feeling generous he makes a stipulation (he can do that?!) If Jericho wins tonight, he can be added to the World Championship match at Judgment Day and Jericho can expose him as an extremely sore loser. Jericho appears to be thinking it over before going for a punch. Jeff ducks under it and takes him down with a right. Jeff is ready to fight but Jericho thinks better of it and leaves the ring. Long then makes Hardy’s stipulations and the match official. Grisham points out that Jericho has actually gotten everything he wanted in the first place. Ironically enough, Grisham is right. Regardless, Jericho vs. Hardy later tonight!

Not a bad little opening segment. It would’ve been easy to let it drag on but thankfully the important points where made: everyone loves Rey and Jeff and Chris Jericho is an asshole. Moving on to…a commercial break!

R-Truth vs. Mike Knox

Okay, what idiot gave R-Truth his own T-Shirt?

Well it looks like Mike has joined Smackdown. Glad he kept the beard. It gives him more personality than…well…the rest of him.

The bell rings and Knox goes for a tie-up but Truth ducks under it and goes on the attack. Truth puts Knox in a side headlock but Knox forces him into the corner. Knox goes on the attack and pummels him before sending Truth to the opposite corner. Truth leapfrogs over Knox and splits to avoid the clothesline before nailing him with a single leg dropkick. Knox stays on his feet. Truth goes back on the attack but Knox shoves him off and catches him with a double leg slam. Knox appears to go for a pin but opts to attack with knee strikes to the head of Truth. Knox is now in control.

Knox pulls Truth up and puts him in a front headlock, but Truth soon breaks out of it. Truth attacks with rights and kicks to Knox before stunning him with a dropkick. Another dropkick to the knee brings Knox down. Truth backs up and hits the Scissors Kick! Out of nowhere! Truth goes for the pin and gets the near fall! Wait…hasn’t he been using that as a finisher? Oh well.

Truth goes to the top rope and hits a front missile dropkick on Mike Knox. Again Truth goes for the pin and again he gets a near fall. Truth backs Knox to the corner and begins to attack but the referee pulls him away. Knox takes advantage with a Bicycle Kick to Truth. Swinging Reverse STO ends it.

Winner: Mike Knox (Pinfall via Swinging Reverse STO) * Whenever you have a clash of wrestling styles there are bound to be sticking points, however the whole match seemed off. Truth’s speed is his biggest asset however it seemed to confuse Knox throughout, leaving gaping holes during the match. Then there’s the fact that Knox kicked out of Truth’s finishing move: which made very little sense since there are about a million better ways to sell Knox’s toughness and protect Truth’s status. At the end of the day, this was a bad match that will hopefully not be repeated between these two.

We get a side shot of Michelle McCool with Alicia and Gail Kim coming to the ring. That match is next!

Did You Know? – I would expect for WWE.com to have a lot of hits, however do we really need to know the number? And if they must say the number, couldn’t they just round up? Saying the exact number sounds a little too neurotic for me.

Michelle McCool w/ Alicia Fox vs. Gail Kim

The bell rings and Kim goes for a tie up but Michelle sidesteps her. The ladies size each other up before Gail charges again and they hook up. They struggle for control before Michelle flips Gail off and hits a set of push ups. Let’s see power offense, arrogance, and now random pushups out of nowhere. If Michelle starts doing promos like Steiner I am going to die laughing.

Gail claps and Michelle bows before we get back to the match. Michelle takes control with a boot to the gut and a European Uppercut. Michelle whips Gail Kim to the corner and Gail leaps to the middle rope. Gail leapfrogs over Michelle and takes her down with a dropkick. Gail hits a leg sweep and goes for a pin but Michelle kicks out of it early. Both ladies are back on their feet and Gail whips Michelle, who slides out of the ring. Alicia goes to check on her ally while Gail slips out of the ring. Michelle tries to use Alicia as a shield but Gail shoves her out of the way and counters Michelle with a quick kick.

Gail Kim sends Michelle back into the ring. Gail kicks Michelle in the ribs and goes for a wheelbarrow, but Michelle catches her and drops her throat first on the top rope. (Jim Ross gave a Buddy Rodgers reference. Win.) Michelle goes for a pin and Gail kicks out at one. Michelle gets in a few punches before the referee makes her break and puts Gail in a figure four neck scissors. Gail struggles in the center of the ring before breaking out of it. Gail Kim goes to the corner and keeps Michelle at bay before hitting her with a drop toe hold into the middle turnbuckle.

Gail Kim takes Michelle down with a series of clotheslines and sends her to the corner and hits a running cross body to Michelle’s midsection. Gail goes to the top rope and hits the Flying Neck breaker! Gail goes for the pinfall but Michelle gets her leg on the bottom rope. The ladies are back on their feet and Gail charges, ducking under a big boot and going for a Frankensteiner but Michelle counters with the Styles Clash! Wait…according to Grisham she calls it the Faith Breaker.

…Michelle hits the Styles Clash and gets the three!

Winner: Michelle McCool (Pinfall via Styles Clash) **

Alicia Fox and Michelle celebrate as we cut to some clips from the confrontation on Superstars between Jeff Hardy and Edge. Jeff Hardy speaks next!

Jeff Hardy Speaks NOW!

Josh Matthews is in the back and I still think if you’re doing broadcasting for a show, you shouldn’t have to do backstage work for another show. Hopefully that changes since we’re all taking the brand extension more seriously now. Anyway his guest at this time is Jeff Hardy! Josh mentions the stipulations for tonight and Jeff says the only thing on his mind is the World Heavyweight Championship. Jericho and his talking are only distractions and it ends tonight. The only thing people will talk about after Judgment Day is Jeff winning the World Championship. Short and to the point. No complaints from me.

HOLY SHIT! Ricky Ortiz still has a JOB?!

We’re back in the GM’s office Maria is showing Ricky her fashion ideas and Ricky gets a chance to say his catchphrase (Okay, what idiot gave Ricky a catchphrase?) before Edge interrupts everyone. Long asks the others to leave and Edge demands that Long not give Jericho a chance to be in the match at Judgment Day. Long points out that Edge is lucky to be Champion at all since CM Punk came so close to beating him last week for the Title. Edge rebuts that he had Punk taken care of and Long says that since Edge is so confident, he can face Punk again tonight. Edge freaks out and asks if it’s non title and Long says it is…as long as Punk doesn’t cash in his Money in the Bank contract. Edge doesn’t appear too happy but leaves regardless.

John Morrison vs. Charlie Haas (WTF?! Haas Lives!)

Morrison gets to have his super special slo-mo entrance before we got to break. We return quickly to Haas coming out to the retro World Greatest Tag Team music…and Haas is coming out with Shelton Benjamin! IWC, your fantasy Smackdown is now official.

Benjamin goes next to the announce position and the bell rings. We start it off with a tie up and Haas takes control with a takedown and overhead lock. Haas switches over to a side headlock as Morrison gets to his feet and forces him to the ropes. Morrison tries to push him off but Haas holds on to the ropes. The referee breaks them up and Haas gets in a cheap shot on Morrison. Haas goes on the attack until Morrison reverses and slams Haas into the top turnbuckle face first. Now Morrison goes on the attack until Haas shoves him off. Haas charges but Morrison slips out to the apron. Morrison springboards off the top rope and hit Haas with a dropkick and goes for a pin, getting a two count.

Morrison whips Haas to the ropes and catches him with a big back body drop. Morrison shouts something to Benjamin before hitting Haas with a sleek European Uppercut. Morrison goes for an Irish Whip and Haas reverses it into a hard whip into the corner. Benjamin shouts for Haas to stay on him, and he does with a hard kick to the back. Haas knocks Morrison to the second rope and goes on a very aggressive attack until Morrison begins fighting back with back elbow shots. Haas blocks him with a kick and hits a nearly perfect double arm suplex. Haas floats over for the lateral press and gets a near fall. Both men get back to their feet and Morrison breaks away with shoots to Haas’ temple. Morrison bounces off the ropes straight into a big boot from Haas. Haas connects with a huge Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker and again goes for the pin and gets a near fall.

Haas is back on his feet and locks Morrison in a Surfboard Stretch. Haas stretches Morrison until Morrison gets back on his feet and back flips out of the hold. Haas is back on his feet and goes for a punch but is blocked by Morrison. Big dropkick by Morrison followed by a clothesline and a spinning calf kick. Haas seems dizzy but blocks Morrison and sends him face first to the turnbuckle. Haas whips Morrison to the corner and charges into the boots of Morrison. Haas sits up and is treated to a knee shot by Morrison. Morrison is now in control and goes to the corner. Split-legged Corkscrew Moonsault on Haas! That’s impossible! Morrison gets the three count!

Winner: John Morrison (Pinfall via Split-Legged Corkscrew Moonsault) **1/2 This was a very strong psychological match-up with Haas showing the reason he did not deserves all of the bad gimmicks and being stuck in the lower card.

Morrison challenges Benjamin to come into the ring but Benjamin declines. CM Punk is heading to the ring! Edge vs. Punk II NEXT!

Non-Title Match
Mr. Money in the Bank CM Punk vs. World Heavyweight Champion Edge

J.R. and Grisham tease that Punk might cash in his MITB contract if he can hit the G2S again tonight and that’s a decent kayfabe point to make. No matter how unlike it is it keeps the strategic importance and prestige of the case high, so I’m all for it.

The bell rings and Punk goes for a kick but Edge avoids it. Edge gets Punk into a side headlock but Punk gets out of it however Edge counters with a hammerlock but Punk breaks out and hits a hammerlock of his own. Edge gets to the ropes and the referee breaks them up. We get a test of strength and Edge takes advantage quickly with a kick o the midsection and a shot to the back of the head. Edge forces Punk into the corner and whips him across but Punk gets out of the way of Edge’s charge and counters with a deep arm drag. Punk locks in an arm bar and Edge gets to his feet. Edge backs Punk to the ropes and whips him off but Punk hangs onto the top rope. Edge charges again and Punk slings him to the outside! Huge Suicide Dive by Punk! Punk sends Edge back into the ring and goes for the Springboard Clothesline but Edge counters with a Big Boot.

The Champion catches his breath and keeps Punk down with a short elbow drop. Edge goes on the attack, delivering elbow strikes to the back of Punk’s head and going for a pin, but getting a near fall. Edge hooks Punk in a Full Nelson. Punk struggles and gets to his feet, bringing Edge up into a Fireman’s Carry. Punk is thinking Go To Sleep and so is Edge, who fights out of the hold and hooks in a Crucifix hold on Punk back on the ground. Haven’t seen that on in a while.

Edge keeps pressure on the hold until Punk uses his knees to break out. Punk and Edge gets back to their feet and Punk goes on the attack with some stiff kicks. Punk goes for the Irish Whip but is counter whipped by Edge. Punk ducks under the clothesline and the two collide in the air. Both men are down!

Punk is up first and pulls up Edge, attacking with hard rights but Edge blocks. Edge goes for a vertical suplex but Punk blocks and hits a spinning mule kick into a running knee life! Big spinning heel kick takes Edge down! Punk again goes to the ring apron and hits the Springboard Clothesline. Punk goes for the cover and gets a near fall. Punk whips Edge to the corner and goes for the running knee but Edge gets out of the way and goes for an Electric Chair Drop but Punk counters with a Victory Roll and gets the near fall! Punk again goes for G2S but Edge counters, going for the Edge O Matic which Punk counters, sending Edge to the corner. This time the running knee lift finds it mark! Punk goes for the bulldog but Edge hangs on, but Punk counters again with a Fireman’s Carry but Edge hangs onto the top rope. Edge drops to his feet and goes for a Spear but Punk leapfrogs over Edge and Edge flies to the outside. Punk waits in the ring as Edge contemplates his next move, then says ‘Forget it’ and heads up the ramp. The referee is left with no choice but to count to ten, ending this one.

Winner: CM Punk (Victory via Count Out) ***1/4. Clearly these two have great ring psychology. I don’t mind if they keep having them face each other although eventually it’s got to be for the strap.

Punk still wants to fight and Edge appears ready to get back in the ring but the referee keeps him at bay. Punk is too distracted to see YOUMAGA! YOUMAGA is back again! Punk eats a huge thrust kick! Black Hole Slam by the Bulldozer! Punk is being demolished here! Huge Samoan Spike crushes Punk and Umaga stands victorious in the ring. I still miss the old Tribal music though.

Jeff Hardy and Chris Jericho will be later tonight!

The World Champion Pittsburgh Steelers are at ringside if you didn’t know! Cardinals’ fans may now show their collective hatred. For some reason there is an arm wrestling table in the ring. Uh oh.

More Fun with Cryme Tyme

Call me a stickler but shouldn’t two wrestlers wrestle every now and then? I’m just saying. They talk about their dancing competition last week and JTG states that they would like for Eve and Layla to handle their difference civilly. Hence the table.

The Brooklyn brawlers bring out Layla and Eve and quickly explain the rules before letting them go at it. For whatever reason JTG and Shad are providing commentary for this one, which does make it slightly more watchable, when I wasn’t laughing anyway. Suddenly Layla starts screaming and apparently Eve hurt her elbow…or her hand or something. So Shad checks on Layla who is now apparently fine and the battle begins again. Bottom line: Eve wins again. Again Layla isn’t happy and again attacks Eve. A huge neck breaker puts a damper on the celebration and it seems the issues between these ladies are far from settled.

Dolph Ziggler Talks Briefly

Jesse and Jimmy Wang Yang are talking in the back before Dolph interrupts them and says something before leaving for the ring. Okay….

Dolph is in action NEXT!

Dolph Ziggler Open Challenge

Dolph Ziggler takes a microphone and declares that he is what a real winner looks like and to make his point tonight he is making an open challenge to anyone in the locker room. After tonight, no one will ever forget the name Dolph Ziggler!

So who will answer the challenge? Someone restrain Small because it’s the GREAT KHALI! Suddenly Dolph doesn’t look too confident. Dolph tries to talk his way out of it but I don’t think Khali is listening. The bell is rung and Dolph ducks under Khali and bounces off the ropes and bounces off Khali. Dolph tries again and is caught by Khali, who shoves him into the ropes and catches him with a clothesline. Khali drags Dolph to the corner and strangles him before hitting a huge knife edge chop. That had to hurt.

Khali goes for the boot but Dolph duck under it and Khali is hung up on the ropes. Dolph goes on the attack, kicking at Khali’s leg before Khali shoves him off. Dolph goes to the outside and gets a chair and again goes on the attack, hitting Khali repeatedly with the chair. Finally the big man drops but Dolph continues to attack. Finally the referee calls for the bell.

Winner: The Great Khali (Victory via DQ) *1/4 Strictly done to build up Dolph Ziggler. Just ignore the sound of Small’s jaw hitting the floor and let’s move on.

We get a run down of the Judgment Day card at the moment. So far, somewhat decent.

Jeff Hard vs. Chris Jericho

The implications of this one are huge. Let’s see if the action can match the hype. Edge has joined the commentary table for this one so somehow he will be involved.

Jeff gets the crowd clapping before Jericho attacks with a kick and forces Jeff into the corner. Jericho is aggressively striking Jeff around the ring before hitting an Irish Whip, which Jeff counters with a big tackle. Jeff gets in a few punches before putting Jericho in a side headlock before going back to punching. Jeff goes for an Irish Whip which Jericho reverses and goes for a dropkick but Jeff hangs onto the top rope. Jeff hits a double leg drop to Jericho’s midsection and goes for the pin, getting a two count.

Jeff takes Jericho down with a scoop slam and goes to the top but Jericho slides out of the ring. Suddenly Rey comes from the back, distracting Jericho long enough for Jeff to attack. Jeff sends Jericho back into the ring and sets him up in the corner, again taking it to Jericho before going for an Irish Whip. Jericho reverses it and charges at Jeff who side steps him, sending Jericho flying into the turnbuckle and crashing to the mat. Jeff leaves the ring and sends Jericho into the crowd barricade, setting up the ring steps for some sort of maneuver. Jeff backs up and springboard off the steps, going for a calf kick but Jericho steps out of the way, letting Jeff crash into the barricade!

Jericho slides back into the ring and let the referee make his count. Slowly Jeff makes his way back into the ring, sliding in at nine. Jericho goes for the pin and gets a two count. Jericho goes for another pin and Jeff gets his foot on the bottom rope. Jericho is in control! Can he win?! We’ll find out after this commercial break!

We are back and Jericho is still in control, taunting Edge as Jeff tries to gain his bearings. Jericho grabs Jeff’s legs and Jeff hangs onto the bottom rope, but Jericho catapults Jeff throat first to the middle rope. We get a shot of Rey cheering Jeff on just as he breaks away from Jericho. Jeff charges right into a knee to the gut from Jericho. Jericho again goes for the pin and gets a near fall. Jericho looks in a modified sleeper, almost a Tazmission and Jeff slowly gets to his feet but Jericho beats him back to his feet. Jericho goes for an Irish Whip but Jeff counters with a lariat, modified of course. Jeff hits a running forearm on Jericho; make that two! Jericho counter whips Jeff to the corner and Jeff goes for the Whisper in the Wind but slips and is saved by Jericho! Now there’s your Hidden Highlight. Jericho goes to the middle rope and tries for a back suplex but Jeff fights him off. Jeff steps up and hits Whisper in the Wind this time but only gets a near fall out of it. Jeff calls for the Twist of Fate but Jericho blocks it and locks in the Walls of Jericho! Center of the ring! Jeff is stuck!

Jeff fights his way slowly but surely to the ropes and grabs the bottom rope. The referee breaks them up and Jericho begins arguing that Jeff tapped…which he didn’t by the way. Jericho measures Jeff and goes for the Code breaker but Jeff reverses it into a Facebuster Suplex! Jeff goes to the top and tries for the Swanton Bomb! Miss! Jericho gets out of the way! Jericho goes for the Lionsault and hits the mark! That’s got to be it! NO! Jeff kicks out at two! Jericho can’t believe it!

Jericho pulls Jeff up and goes for an enzuguri and misses. Jeff goes for the Twist of Fate and Jericho counters with a takedown. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho but Jeff counters with an inside cradle. He gets a two count before Jericho counters with an inside cradle of his own and another two count.

Both men are up and Jeff clotheslines them both to the outside! Both men are down again. Jeff goes on the attack but Jericho blocks and hurls him across the broadcast table and into both Grisham and Edge! Edge is down and Jeff is thrown back into the ring by Jericho. Jericho goes for the pin and Jeff kicks out again. Edge jumps up to the ring apron and begins arguing with Jericho and Jeff takes advantage, going for roll up but Jericho kicks out! Edge grabs his belt and leave as Jericho catches Jeff with a big boot. Jericho tries to use the middle rope for leverage but Rey points it out before the three count. Jericho begins arguing with Rey, letting Jeff catch his breath. Jericho turns around and eats a Twist of Fate from Hardy! Swanton Bomb ends it in favor of Hardy!

Winner: Jeff Hardy (Pinfall via Swanton Bomb) ***

Edge watches with approval from the top of the ramp and Jeff Hardy leaves the ring. Jeff marches up the ramp and it convinces Edge to leave. Jericho is back on his feet in the ring but Rey is quick to take him down with a senton from the top rope! Rey leaves the ring victorious as Smackdown closes.