411’s WWE Smackdown Report 11.21.02

WWE Smackdown for November 21, 2002, from Hartford,Connecticut

Report by Brendan Johnston exclusively for www.411wrestling.com

So I get to school this morning at seven and promptly fall asleep in the student lounge till nine-thirty. That’s all well and good, but my class starts at nine. While walking across campus, I find out that the class was cancelled. I’m touched by the gods, I f***in’ swear it…

Survivor Series… I was there, all kinds of live, with Tom Cocozza, of “White Boy Rap News” fame, and our friend Michelle. I’m still not sure how the show came off on TV, but live it was greatly entertaining.

Raw… was actually pretty good this week. Good matches, decent- if some unintelligible- promos and segments… and who wasn’t there? Hmmm… who wasn’t there on the show that pulled the best Raw rating in a while? WHHHo wasn’t tHHHere? HHHmmmmmmmmmmmm…..

Something I’m not digging on Raw, despite the presence of Lance Storm on my TV every week, is the Tommy Dreamer “kick to the head” storyline. I mean, what the hell? He’s Tommy friggin’ Dreamer, and they’d have us believe that his Kryptonite is in the form of a simple kick to the head? Stupid WWE… Of course, the drop toehold to the chair was cool.

With D-Von on Raw and the Dudley Boyz back together, it looks like the singles push of Bubba Ray Foley is pretty much done, which is a shame but… what’s that? Another 3-D? WOOOO!! THAT’S RIGHT, YOU MOTHERF***ERS! TASTE THAT WOOD!!! Um… what was I saying?

And now, on with the report…

Video package of Brock’s March debut to start, followed by the KotR win, then SummerSlam, focusing on Heyman. Then it goes to the Big Show feud, ending with the Survivor Series match.

Brock paces backstage, waiting for Heyman and the Big Show.

The montage rolls, the pyro hits and Cole and Tazz welcome us to Smackdown from Hartford, Connecticut. Tonight we’ll see WWE Champion the Big Show vs. Edge for the title.

Rey Mysterio vs Jamie Noble (w/Nidia): It’s so weird to not type “WWE Cruiserweight Champion” in front of Noble’s name.

Lockup, Rey into the corner to start and Noble stumops mudhole. Cross corneer whip by Noble and he floats out of a monkey flip but gets dropkicked. Springboard ‘rana and Noble bails, ducks a baseball sliude and gie Rey a shot to the chops. Back in, he postst Rey and starts working the ribs and the arm against the post. Dropkick to the back by Noble. Suplex from the apon by Noble but Rey floats out and counteres a body press with a dropkick. Flapjack gets two for Mysterio. Head and armTazzplex (!) by Noble gets two.Trailer Bomb countered to the 619. Nidia breaks up the West Coast Pop and leads Mysterio on a merry chase, but he counters a bodypress ith a ‘rana off the second rope iinto a rollup for the win. Wow.

Winner: Rey Mysterio by pinfall (2:50)

Brock paces and finally storms into the heel locker room, with Matt Hardy, Los Guerreros and John Cena sitting there and cowering. Matt Hardy “Version One” congratulates him on his performance at Survivor Series, but says it’s too bad that Heyman turned on him. If Brock had some more Mattitude though, he might have pulled out the win and not suffered such an unfortunate Twist of Fate. Brock looks at him, then grabs him and tosses him through a wall, interrupting Crash’s nap in the other room. Brock walks off and Crash checks on Matt.

Commercial Break… I wonder if the old “Justin Bailey” code to get Samus out of her armor suit works in Metroid Prime. Funny the stuff you remember from your childhood, isn’t it… what I want to know is when they’re going to update Kung Fu for one of the next-gen systems. Five levels, four moves. That game rocked.

And we’re back.

Stephanie McMahon is checking on Matt Hardy, and Eddie Guerrero rats Brock out. He and Chavo complain about the unsafe work environment. Steph says she’ll take care of it, but Eddie doesn’t think Brock’ll listen to a woman. Stpeh says she runs Smackdown, not him. And not Brock Lesnar. Easily the best part of that segment was Albert in the background just looking at the hole in the wall like the big hairy goon he is.

Elsewhere, Nidia consoles Jamie Noble. Noble’s upset because the title’s gone and so’s their good life. Noble syas there’s only one thing left for him to do, and Nidia tells him that he can’t call his crazy cousin. Jamie says he’s got no choice, and that he doesn’t want to do it, but he has to call his cousin Nunzio. (Because there’s a lot of guys named Nunzio in friggin’ Hanover, West Virginia.)

Steph talks to Brock about how if he attacks anyone else, he’ll be suspended, but I’m not paying attention because I’m still too busy feeling sorry for Jamie Noble. Stupid Billy Kidman and his lack of personality. Of course, if he keeps leaving through the crowd, he’ll finally get over. Seriously. It worked for DDP. It worked for Tommy Dreamer a while back.

Commercial break

And we’re back.

Mark Lloyd waits in the parking lot to talk to Heyman and Show when they arrive.

WWE Cruiserweight Champion Billy Kidman vs. Tajiri: Tajiri looks like he’s putting some weight on.

Lockup and they tade wristlocks and armdrags. Tajiri slaps away a handshake and kicks him in the head for two. Scoop slam and knee drop get two for Tajiri. Sleeper by Tajiri and Cole talks about Show and Heyman’s impending arrival. Kidman fights out and hits a dropkick for two. Enzuigirilooks to set up the Shooting Star but Tajiri kicks him and covwers for two. Corner whip and Tarantula. Kidman ducks the Stiff Kick and gets rana’d, but bridges out of the cover and kicks Kidman I the head again for two. Kidman counters a powerbomb with that fireman’s carry/neckbreaker dealie but takesthe handsrping elbow. Top rope bulldog countered with a powerbomb to set up the Shooting Star Press for the win.

Winner, and STILL WWE Cruiserweight Champion: Billy Kidman by pinfall (3:13)

Kidman celebrates after, holding his jaw, but doesn’t leave through the crowd. Idiot.

Brock and Heyman arrive and Lloyd updates him on the Lesnar situation, and Heyman makes fun of him because he already knows via the magic of cellular telephonics all about what’s going on. Big Show drops a cue and Heyman has to repeat the line to get Show to says something about being the champ. Mike- my director- would be disgusted.

Chris Benoit vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Chavo Guerrero (w/WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero): Chavo’s got some of the coolest entrance music going, by the way. Mike Chioda sends Eddie to the back.

Benoit goes on the attack quick to start. Back elbow and backbreaker get two on the newly scruffy Chavo. Chop and tilt a whirl backbreaker get another two count.Corner whip and German suplex, but Chavo gets out of it by going to a full nelson. They trade full nelsons (loking for dragon suplexes, speculates Tazz, the Human Announce Machine) and then Chavo takes control with kicks to the ribs. Chavo posts Benoit’s shoulder a few times then continues to work the ribs.Cross corner whip countered to the Crossface but Chavo rolls him out of the ring and follows with a suicide dive. Back in, slingshot body splash hits knee. European uppercut but Chavoand he rolls out of a schoolboy, but takes the hat trick of German suplexes. Benoit signals for the Swandive and hits the headbutt from clear across the ring, but it only gets two. Chavo staggers up with a shoulder to the gut. Benoit ducks a clothesline and hits a suplex top rope gutbuster. Chavo shoulders the ribs again and comes in with a springboard clothesline which is countered by Benoit to the Crossface in the middle of the ring. Chavo taps.

Winner: Chris Benoit by submission (4:46)

In Steph’s office, Steph asks Brock not to listen to Heyman and Show, who are on their way to the ring, because she doesn’t want him being provoked and suspended. Brock says a nasty word to Steph and walks out.

Commercial break… Bill DeMott, the Artist Formerly Known as Hugh Morrus, is coming to Smackdown.

And we’re back.

Brock’s music hits, but Heyman comes out, wearing the title belt (which Tazz somewhat fairly labels as sacrilege) and mocking Lesnar’s mannerisms. Heyman on the mic. “Top of the world, ma1” Paul talks about how great he is. I’m really sick of my feed cutting out the last few weeks. I’m even sicker of people spelling signs wrong in the crowd. It’s “backstabBer,” you dipshit.

Anyway… Heyman talks about how he made Brock and how he unmade him at Survivor Series, then calls out the Big Show. Show on the mic, thanks Brock for letting him fight for the title on Sunday, then thanks him for being such a hothead and leaving the door open for him to take everything. Show says he took Brock’s agent, his title, his whole damn life, away from him, and that there wasn’t a damn thing Brock could do about it. Show says that Edge is going to lose tonight, then Heyman gets back on the mic to say that he negotiated a clause in the match for Survivor Series, and that clause is called… no rematch. “Gotcha.”

Brock comes out of the crowd with a chair to clobber Show and security swarms him as we abruptly cut to commercial.

Commercial break

And we’re back.

During the Break… Steph tries to talk Brock down. Steph tells Brcok that if he tries anything else, she’ll suspend him. We see Jim Ross in the background on his mic to Cole. Something tells me that was a snafu, that was.

Kurt Angle vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero (w/WWE Tag Team Champion Eddie Guerrero) Cole talks about how Scott Steiner will be on Smackdown next week.

Lockup to a side headlock by Angle. Takedown, then back to the headlock, then to a top wristlock, then back to the headlock. Eddie fights out and gets shoulderblocked. Eddie bails to regroup then asks for a test of strength, cheapshotting Angle. Eddie gets a headlock and shoulder block then gets back body dropped and monkey flipped. Angle hits a spinebuster, making it two moves so far in this match that I’ve never seen him bust out before, proving even further that Angle’s just the f***in’ man. Eddie bails, gets two chairs and lets Brian Hebner take one, then nails Angle with the second for two. Angle puts Eddie in the corner and slugs away. Northern Lights suplex by Eddie gets two. Eddie goes to a Camel Clutch and comes back at the “U! S! A!” chants with a chant of “Mex! I! Co!” Eddie rules. Angle fights out but gets snapmared and boot scraped.Angle counters another Northern Lights suplex attempt with a goddamn swinging DDT. Chavito appears at the top of the ramp. Eddie ducks a clothesline off a whip but Angle hits a flying forearm. (What, does he get a bonus for every new move he does?) Chavo slowly makes his way down the ramp. Angle hits two German suplexes but gets low blowed and tossed.Chavo swoops in from mid-ramp, stomps Angle a bit, then runs back to the ramp where he was as the ref turns around. Benoit appears behind him but Chavo doesn’t see it. Outside, Eddie hits a scoop slammed and goes back in to distract the ref while Chavo attacks again, then returns to his spot mid-ramp. Benoit just watches. Back in, Eddie hits the slingshot swanton.and goes for the Lasso from El Paso, countered to the ankle lock, countered back to the Lasso, countered BACK to the ankle lock and Eddie kicks out. Angle ducks a clothesline and hits a release German suplex.Eddie floats out of the Angle Slam and hits a suplex. Eddie’s feeling froggy, but Angle gets up to crtoch him on the top rope, dispose of Chavo and hit a top rope Angle Slam for the win.

Winner: Kurt Angle by pinfall (9:42)

After the match, Chavo attacks but gets ankle locked and taps. Because USA doesn’t mean you, ese! Angle finally notices Benoit on the rampand the Wolverine starts applauding.

Backstage, Edge and Funaki examine a contract.

Commercial break.. Steiner promo featuring some new catchphraseology, ending with, “I’m Big Poppa Pump. Boom Shaka Laka!” Friggin’ maniac.

And we’re back. Cole and Tazz talk about Steiner then we go to Funaki, Smackdown’s #1 Announcer. Funaki asks Edge about the Big Show, and Edge talks about how big the Show is. Funaki says Show reminds him of Godzilla, and Edge goes off on a cheap pop tangent about how King Kong always kicks Godzilla’s ass. Then he talks about how this is his first ever title shot, and he knows he’s gonna get messed up, but that’s the price he’s willing to pay to make his lifelong dream come true and become the WWE Champion.

Commercial break

And we’re back. Countdown to the Raw Tenth Anniversary with a classic Raw moment: the “Rock, This Is Your Life” segment with the Rock n’ Sock Connection.

John Cena and Rikishi come down for their match, then Al Wilson and Dawn Marie appear at the top of the ramp with mics. Cole and Tazz go into the “Look at Dawn!” “Look at Al!” bit. Basically they announce that the wedding will take place on Smackdown. Apparently that’s Torrie’s real dad by the way.

Commercial break

And we’re back.

John Cena vs. Rikishi: We come back in progress. Cena hits a clohtelsine ans suplex. Druing the break, Cena got slugged around a bit. Cena works a headlock on the Fat Man while Tazz rambles about fgihting Al in a Hell in the Cell match. Cena goes for a sunset flip and dodges the butt drop. Cena mocks the ass slapping and hits a butt drop of his own for two, getting dumped. Cena comes back in and eggs Rikishi on, gets chopped and Samoan dropped. Rikishi Backs That Ass Up and hits a belly to belly slam for the win.

Winner: Rikishi by pinfall (2:08)

Rikishi goes to add insult to injury with a Banzai drop. Some guy appears out of nowhere to hit an electric chair drop and two legdrops on the Kish. It’s Bull Buchannan, I think.

In the locker room, Show tells Paul to go to Steph and tell her he can’t compete because Brock injured his back. Paul doesn’t want to leave because he’s afraid of Brock. He goes anyway.

Commercial break

And we’re back.

Paul is in Steph’s office, looking over his shoulder. He asks where Brock is, and Steph doesn’t know. Heyman says that Show’s in no condition to compete. Steph says if Brock gets involved in the match he’ll be suspended.

Commercial break

And we’re back.

Edge vs. WWE Champion the Big Show (w/Paul Heyman): Grr… I can’t believe I just typed that…

Edge gets tossed around to start, then duscks a double axe handl ena slugs way. Whip reversed bu Show, Edge ducks big boot and hits a dropkcik to the knee, but can’t pull him down for the Edge-o-matic. Edge flips out of a sidelam and hits a dropklcik but gets manhdnaled again and slapped in the corner.Show tosses Edge across the ring and stands on his head. Backbreaker by Show and he continues to slap Edge around. Edge kikcs him in the gut but can’t connect on the Edge-O-Cution. Show continues his electrifying brand of not wrestling. Heyman yells at Edge that he needs someone like Heyman representing him. Show hits a suplex and undoes a turnbuckle pad. Edge counters the whip to the exposed corner and hits drop toeold on the Show into the exposed turnbuckle and goes up top with a torndao DDT for two. Spear does nothing. So does a second. Third conncects but Heyman pulls Edge out before the three count. Edge chases Heyman but gets chokeslammed. Heymn gets on the mic and tells Show not to pin him. Two more choekslams but her comes Brock to hit the F5 (Brock had him up there for a long ass time.) Brock chases Heyman trhought the building to the parkring lot. Er… I guess we’re calling this one a no decision, by the way, because we fade on Brock in the parking lot with Cole wondering if he’ll be suspended.

Thanks for reading. See you next week.