411’s WWE Smackdown Report 7.11.09

Welcome to 411’s Weekly Smackdown! Report. I am JP Truss your play-by-play man for Smackdown! A big rematch is in store as Rey Mysterio crosses horns one more time with his nemesis; Chris Jericho! Can they add another MOTY candidate to the long list of MOTY candidates provided by Smackdown? Let’s find out. J.R. and Todd Grisham are at ringside.

Jeff Hardy vs. Kane

Last week’s mockery of CM Punk’s eye injury continues as Jeff comes to the ring with an eye patch. I’ll give this to the guy; he knows how to sell an injury. Jeff Hardy takes the microphone and explained that a sudden, burning pain caused his injury and it hurt him that CM Punk didn’t check on him after the mach. Jeff said that unlike Punk he doesn’t make up injuries or kick referees in the back or forfeit matches.

Jeff tells Punk that his eye injury is just as serious as Punk which cues the fire and brimstone. Kane enters and looks pretty pleased with the match; a rarity. The bell rings and Hardy tries to take advantage with strikes but Kane shoves him aside. Kane tries to charge Hardy but is low bridged over the top rope and to the floor. Kane lands on his feet and Hardy slings over the ropes to deliver a plancha to the big man! That shot seemed to take a bit out of Hardy as he gets to his feet and again shoved aside by Kane. Both men slide back into the ring. Hardy tries a clothesline but it is not effective. Hardy bounces off the ropes to try again but Kane stops him with a massive uppercut. Kane goes for an early cover and gets a two count.

Kane nearly levels Hardy with a right hook. The crowd distracts Kane long enough for Hardy to get to his feet and tries to surprises Kane with a Twist of Fate but Kane fights him off. Kane suplexes Hardy ribs first onto the top rope and follow up with a big boot to the side of the skull! Commercial break!

We return and Kane is punishing Jeff Hardy with a modified surfboard stretch. Kane hits a snapmare followed by a stiff low dropkick. Kane goes for a pin and gets a near fall. Kane then locks Hardy in a rear bearhug, continuing the work on the ribs but Hardy gets to his feet and breaks out with a jawbreaker. A low dropkick takes Kane off his feet and Hardy attacks again with a low dropkick to the head! Hardy goes for the pin but Kane kicks out at one.

Hardy gets to his feet and hits a double leg drop to Kane’s gut. Kane pulls himself up and gets a few rights for his trouble before he pulls Hardy onto his shoulders and drops him ribs first onto his knee. Kane again goes for a pin but Hardy kicks out before the three. Kane pulls Hardy up and hurls him sideways into the ring post, following up with a running low dropkick to the back! That looks like it stung. Kane again pulls Hardy in for a pin attempt but Hardy kicks out. Kane, in full control, pulls Hardy to his feet and moves him to the corner, where he leveled him with shots to the ribs and head. Another pin attempt by Kane leads to yet another near fall.

Kane puts Jeff Hardy in a body scissors, which keeps Hardy grounded for a moment but he is soon back on his feet. Hardy attacks with the spinning mule kick. He goes for a running attack but Kane counters with a sidewalk slam! Kane hooks the far leg but only gets a two count. Frustrated Kane goes to the corner and climbs to the top rope. However Jeff is there and blocks him, going for a superplex but Kane shoves him off. Kane tries again but again Hardy is there and drops him groin first onto the turnbuckle! Kane drops off the top and Jeff attacks with the dropkick into the corner! Kane gets to a knee and Hardy is right there with a snap DDT! Hardy goes for a pin and gets a near fall. Kane gets to his feet and stumbles into the corner. Hardy charges and Kane back drops him to the apron. Hardy gets to the top rope and tries a double axe handle but Kane catches him! Kane goes for a Chokeslam but Hardy fights out of it and goes to the far corner. Whisper in the Wind! Hardy goes for the pin: two count! Hardy hits a Twist of Fate on Kane and heads to the top rope, thinking Swanton Bomb right before CM Punk makes an entrance! Hardy glares at the World Champion and doesn’t see Kane get to his feet! Chokeslam off the top rope by Kane! Kane gets the three!

Winner: Kane (Pinfall via Chokeslam) **3/4

CM Punk seems very happy with himself as he leaves. JR and Grisham pimp tonight’s main event before we go to commercials.

Word Up

Let’s hurry this up.

Word – Bromance: Bro-mans (noun): 1) A close relationship or man-crush between two bros to such a point where they start to seem like a couple.

Cryme Tyme uses Fred and Barney from the Flintstones as an example along with Siegfried and Roy and the Hart Dynasty. They get in a joke involving the infamous Hart Family Dungeon before Eve points out that they are a tag team as well. Cryme Tyme tells the poor girl they’re more like brothers when Jesse shows up and does his wigger routine. Eve locks him in an equipment locker and that ends the segment. Thank everything that’s holy.

Morrison and Long Discuss….Karaoke?

We cut to GM Teddy Long and John Morrison who are still talking about their segment last week. Long brings up karaoke-ing…which seems to have caused a disturbance in the Palace of Wisdom. Morrison brings up his challenge to the winner of CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy and Long says he’ll take it under consideration. Some noise comes from his closet and as Long leaves the noise is revealed to be Dolph Ziggler. Morrison congratulated him for ‘finally coming out of the closet’ and leaves, not seeing Maria exit behind him.

This just in to 411 Mania Wrestling: storyline or no storyline I hate Ziggler. That is all.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

Well this should be decent. Let’s get this one on the road. We start it off with a tie up and Ziggler goes for a single leg take down but Morrison blocks it and tries for a side headlock. Ziggler blocks and tries for one of his own but Morrison counters with a take down and rear chin lock. Ziggler gets to the bottom rope and is forced to break the hold. Morrison backs away and eats a cheap shot from Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler pulls Morrison up and goes for an Irish Whip but Morrison evades him and knocks him out of the ring with a back elbow. Morrison measures Ziggler and hits a spinning plancha over the top rope onto Ziggler! Damn!

Morrison rolls in Ziggler and tries to get to the top rope but Ziggler avoids it. Ziggler goes to the outside and spins Morrison, caching him with a kick to the temple. Morrison falls to the outside and Ziggler meets him with boots to the upper body before rolling him back into the ring and going for a pin. Morrison kicks out a two. Ziggler hits a few shots to the head of Morrison before hitting a series of elbow drops. Ziggler goes for the pin again and gets a near fall.

Ziggler pulls Morrison up and puts him in a side headlock, bridging to add pressure. Morrison fights to his feet and breaks the hold but Ziggler is right back on him with a knee lift followed by a back suplex! Ziggler goes for the pin and gets a near fall. Ziggler starts shouting at Morrison as he rubs his face into the mat before hooking in a Full Nelson. Morrison gets to his feet and slips out of the hold, kicking Ziggler from the mat. Morrison gets up and hits another capoeira style kick to Ziggler! Morrison caches Ziggler with a big right, followed by a clothesline and a spinning heel kick! Ziggler sits up and gets caught with the running knee strike from John Morrison! Morrison goes for the pin and gets a two count!

Ziggler escapes to the corner and Morrison goes for another knee strike but misses. Ziggler hits an inverted belly-to-back suplex! Nicely done! Ziggler goes for the cover but Morrison kicks out! Both men are still done as we get a replay of the last few moments of action. Ziggler gets up and whips Morrison to the corner, trying to follow up but Morrison counters with a kick to the ribs. Morrison leaps to top rope and hits a perfect Missile Dropkick! Morrison goes for the pin and gets another near fall. Morrison waits for Ziggler to stand and charges but Ziggler counters with a Tilt-a-Whirl but Morrison counters, going for a DDT but Ziggler reverses it into a pin attempt! Ziggler has the tights! Ziggler gets the victory! WHAT?!

Winner: Dolph Ziggler (Pinfall via Aided Roll Up) **3/4

Ziggler celebrates as Morrison tries to explain to the referee what happened. Oh well; thems the breaks kid. Commercial break!

R-Truth…We Think

We return to Smackdown and see a vignette of R-truth as someone called ‘Pretty Ricky’ trying to get into the arena. Okay but not as funny as I think they thought it would be. I mean, when the best line is JR saying his ‘government name’ is James Williams – Baron of BBQ, you might want to go back to the drawing board.

Melina and Eve vs. Women’s Champion Michelle McCool and Layla

Wow, I forgot that last segment already. Thank you Eve.

We start it off with Layla and Eve. Eve is quick to take advantage with a Fireman’s Carry. Eve goes for a quick pin and gets a one count. Eve hooks Layla in a Hammerlock and goes for a roll up, getting another one count. Layla gets up and is met with a forearm from Eve. Layla charges but Eve counters with a shoulder tackle, followed by a single leg dropkick. Another pin attempt leads to another one count. Layla is on her feet first and catches Eve with kick to the gut. Layla charges but Eve reverses it with a spinning powerslam! Wow. Eve goes for a pin and gets a two count.

Layla rolls to the ring apron to catch her breath but Eve is having none of it and hits a baseball slide! Eve rolls Layla in but doesn’t see Michelle who comes in from the side with a kick to the head! The referee doesn’t see it and Layla tags in Michelle who rolls Eve back in and goes for a pin, getting a two count. Michelle pounds her opponent before going for a figure four headscissors. Eve struggles, trying to bridge out and eventually rolls to her feet and breaks the hold. Michelle is up and Eve takes her down with a two-handed bulldog! Both women are down!

Michelle crawls to her corner and tags in Layla but its Melina who gets the hot tag! Melina attacks with a sliding single leg takedown! Melina waits for Layla to stand and hits her with a clothesline! Dos clothesline! Running cross body from Melina! A corner aided heel kick leads to a seated senton from the middle rope by Melina! Melina grabs Layla and tries to force her to tag in Michelle but Michelle is having none of it. Layla escapes and goes for a clothesline but Melina evades it and goes for her signature inverted leg drop bulldog but Michelle creates a distraction with a kick to the lower back while the referee is distracted by Eve. Layla goes for some sort of backbreaker but holds Melina for too long and Melina escapes! Layla charges but Melina sidesteps her and she attacks her partner! Melina catches her with a roll up and gets the three!

Winner: Melina and Eve (Pinfall via Roll Up) **1/4

Michelle is not pleased with the loss and goes on the attack after the bell. The two brawl on the outside until the referee forces them to break it up. Nice little feud going between these two. Up next The Great Khali vs. CM Punk!

World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk vs. The Great Khali w/ Runjin Singh

Jeff Hardy is out with JR and the Grish to aid with commentary. The Champion enters and the crowd is almost completely against him now but he’s still favoring the eye. Punk enters the ring and seems concerned that Jeff is at the broadcast table. Punk grabs a microphone and tells Hardy he has a lot of nerve faking an injury and leaving him to fend for himself last week. Punk tells him that although Jeff thinks he’s faking the injury, he’s not. And the prove it he’s brought out his medicated eye drops that he had to obtain with a prescription from a doctor! Burn! Oh wait, too soon?

Punk: Now I know you know something about prescription medication, you probably don’t know you have to go to a doctor to get some!

Can I do it now? Good. BURN!

Punk tells Hardy that if he wants to imitate him, he should live a clean lifestyle. Punk points out that Jeff have two Wellness strikes against him while Punk has none. He’s never been suspended and he’s never been to a rehab facility. Punk then tells Jeff that he has zero changes of winning a Night of Champions, which gets under Jeff’s skin but he’s stopped from getting to the ring by the entrance of the Great Khali.

The bell rings and Punk starts it off with a few kicks to the legs of Khali. Khali stops him and shoves him into the ropes, catching him with a clothesline on the rebound. Khali pulls up Pink and pushes him into the corner, hitting him with an overhand chop. Punk drops like a sack of hair and Khali goes for a leg drop but misses. Punk goes on the attack with kicks to the head. Punk goes to the outside apron and hits a springboard clothesline to the big man! Punk goes for a pin and Khali nearly hurls him out of the ring to break out of it! Khali pulls himself up in the corner and Punk goes on the attack with the running knee lift and goes for a bulldog but is blocked by Khali! Punk ties to charge again but Khali stops him with a big clothesline! Brain Chop by Khali! Punjabi Plunge! Khali is going to do it! WAIT – it’s Kane! Kane is here and he has a steel chair with him. Khali glares at Kane as Kane steps into the ring but Runjin has his back and slides in a steel chair for Khali! Both men stare off, chairs ready to strike but Kane hesitates. Khali buys into it and leaves himself open for a shot from Kane! Khali seems stunned but roars back into the game. Kane tries again but Khali punches the chair out of Kane’s hands! Kane tries to talk to Khali but Khali isn’t hearing it! Chair shot by Khali! Kane runs for the hills!

Winner: Maybe CM Punk? Who knows *1/2

Cryme Tyme vs. the Hart Dynasty

Something tells me that Cryme Tyme is going to learn not to mock the infamous Dungeon. Something else tells me they wouldn’t last too long in that Dungeon…but I digress.

We start it off with Tyson Kidd and JTG. Collar elbow tie up leads to Kidd getting the upper hand. Kidd goes for an Irish Whip to the corner but JTG reverses it. JTG charges and slides under Kidd, taking him down with a double leg from the outside. JTG goes to the middle rope and hits Kidd with a leg drop bulldog! Running flip neckbreaker gets JTG all fired up! JTG hits DHS with a shot that sends him to the outside, followed by Kidd! Nattie goes to check on Kidd, blocking JTG from following up. Kidd takes advantage and sends JTG face first into the announce table! Kidd rolls JTG back into the ring and tags in DHS who takes it to JTG with shots to the back of the head, followed by a swinging neckbreaker. DHS goes for the pin and gets a two count.

DHS pulls up JTG and hits a stalling vertical suplex, going for a pin and getting a near fall. JTG rolls to the ring apron and DHS tries to attack but JTG fights him off. JTG blocks Kidd with a back elbow and leap frogs over DHS to tag in Shad Gaspard! Running shoulder tackle to DHS! Followed by a clothesline and a back elbow! Shad hits an inverted back suplex to DHS! Now he’s fired up! Shad goes for the STO on DHS but Kidd comes in to run interference. Shad takes down Kidd but gets caught with a roll up from DHS; good for a two count. Nattie gets on the ring apron and Kidd disposes of JTG. Shad stands and is hit with the High & Low! DHS gets the pin and the victory!

Winner: The Hart Dynasty (Pinfall via High and Low) **

Up next could be damn near historic. Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho for the Intercontinental Championship! Buckle up folks; the main event is next!

Intercontinental Championship
Chris Jericho vs. Rey Mysterio

Jericho enters and takes the microphone. Jericho informs the crowd that he is the best in the world at what he does. Some would think he would be satisfied by being one-half of the Unified Tag Team Champion but how could he be? Just look at his resume; which he does. 4 time Tag Team Champion. 5 time World Champion. First ever Undisputed Champion in WWE history. And after tonight, 10 time Intercontinental Champion. Jericho points out that it would break his own record and therefore cement his status as a wrestling legend. Jericho says that the best part is that his victory will come at the expensive of our ‘little hero’ – Rey Mysterio. Rey then makes his entrance and of course the crowd loves him better. I think that goes without saying. Justin Roberts gives us the old-school introductions, which is fitting for a title match of this caliber. The referee calls for the bell and we start it off with a tie up. Jericho gets the upper hand with a side headlock but Mysterio forces Jericho to the ropes and pushes him off. Jericho bounces off the ropes and caches Mysterio with a shoulder tackle. Jericho savors the takedown and bounces off the ropes. Rey gets to his feet and leaps to Jericho’s shoulders, forcing him o the mat. Mysterio goes for an early cover to get a one count. Jericho gets to his feet and goes on the attack with shots to the head, grounding him. Jericho hurls Mysterio underneath the ropes but Mysterio rolls to his feet! Jericho goes after him but Rey slides back into the ring! Mysterio blocks Jericho with a dropkick through the ropes and heads to the apron, hitting a running seated senton! Mysterio gives a few high fives to the crowd before attacking Jericho with a kick and sending Jericho back into the ring. Mysterio follows behind and charges but Jericho catches him with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker! Jericho goes for a pin and gets a two count.

Jericho goes on the attack, stomping the head of Mysterio before pulling him up. Mysterio tries to fight back but Jericho blocks him and tries to flip him to the outside but Mysterio lands on the ring apron! Jericho stops him with a punch and whips him into the ring post! Mysterio is down on the floor! Could this be what ends him? We’ll find out after the commercial break!

We return just as Jericho hits a baseball slide that sends Mysterio back to the outside. Jericho goes to the outside and slides Mysterio back, springing off the middle rope to deliver a knee drop! Jericho goes for the pin and gets a near fall. Jericho hooks in his familiar arm trap/headlock combo, holding Mysterio down as the crowd chants for him. Mysterio gets to his feet and is whipped to the corner for his trouble. Jericho charges and Rey goes for the block but Jericho catches his foot but Mysterio counters with an enzuguri! Jericho falls on the second rope! Mysterio is thinking 619 but Jericho counters with a spinning Argentine backbreaker! What a move! Jericho goes for the pin and nearly gets the three count!

Jericho yells at the referee but the referee isn’t hearing it. Jericho walks on Mysterio and taunts the crowd before giving Mysterio a few slaps to the back of the head. Mysterio pulls himself up with the middle rope but Jericho goes on the attack with a snap mare take over and holds for the chinlock, burying the knee in the back of Mysterio’s head. Mysterio is down for a while but bridges out of it and attacks Jericho with some back elbows. Mysterio bounces off the ropes and Jericho again goes for a Tilt-A-Whirl but Mysterio lands on his feet and goes back on the attack, stunning Jericho with a kick to the leg. Mysterio bounces off the ropes again and hits Jericho with a springboard cross body! Mysterio holds for the pin and gets a near fall! Mysterio is up and hits Jericho with a Wheelbarrow bulldog. Mysterio again goes for the pin and again gets a near fall.

Mysterio pulls up Jericho and goes for some maneuver but Jericho catches him with a power bomb and goes for the pin, but Mysterio kicks out at two. Jericho forces Mysterio into the corner, going for an Irish Whip but Mysterio counters with a headscissors, going for a takedown but Jericho reverses it into the Walls of Jericho! Mysterio is reaching for the ropes but he can’ make it! Mysterio reverses the hold and breaks out of it, going for a Sunset Flip but Jericho reverses it! A two count leads to a reversal attempt by Rey which leads to another two count but Mysterio kicks out! Both men are up and Jericho tries for a back suplex but Mysterio reverses it into a head scissors takedown! Jericho lands on the middle rope! Mysterio again goes for the 619 but Jericho avoids and Mysterio gets tangled up in the ropes, leaving him to crash to the outside. Commercial break!

We return and Mysterio is fighting his way out of a submission hold by Jericho. Mysterio goes for an Irish Whip but Jericho reverses him into the corner and follows up with a running clothesline! Jericho goes for the pin but Mysterio grabs the bottom rope. Jericho keeps Mysterio down with a few punches, breaking on the orders of the referee. Mysterio tries to pull himself up in the corner but Jericho stops him with a Face wash. Again the referee is forced to break them up. Mysterio backs up and goes on the offensive but Jericho stops him with a hard Irish Whip into the corner. Jericho sets Mysterio up on the top rope and hits a kneeling Muscle Buster! That had to hurt! Jericho goes for the pin again and gets a near fall. Jericho doesn’t seem too concerned and locks Mysterio into a Surfboard Stretch. Slowly, very slowly, Mysterio gets to his feet and tries to break the hold with a few kicks. Mysterio leaps up and catches Jericho with a big Sunset Flip! Mysterio gets a near fall! Mysterio gets to his feet and goes for a springboard moonsault but Jericho catches him and rams him spine first into the corner! Jericho ties Mysterio into the Tree of Woe, going for a low Spear but Mysterio evades!

Mysterio steps up to the top turnbuckle and hits a big seated senton! Headscissors takedown by Mysterio! Jericho is groggy! Mysterio goes on the attack striking Jericho with kicks before hitting a snapmare, spring boarding to the apron and hitting a dropkick to Jericho through the ropes. Mysterio slingshots off the top rope and hit a splash to Jericho! Mysterio goes for the pin and gets another near fall! Mysterio pulls up Jericho and goes for an Irish Whip but Jericho reverses him into the corner. Jericho charges right into a boot from Mysterio. Mysterio charges into an Alley Oop from Jericho! Jericho goes for the pin and gets a near fall: literally 2.999999999 away from the gold!

Jericho gets up and is clearly running out of steam. He measures Mysterio and hits the one handed bulldog. Jericho calls for it and goes for the Lionsault but Mysterio gets out of the way! Jericho lands on his feet! Mysterio tries a Frakensteiner but Jericho counters with the Walls of Jericho! Middle of the ring! Nowhere else to go! Mysterio struggles for a moment, clawing his way towards the ropes before finally grabbing the bottom rope. Mysterio slides out to apron and Jericho charges, sliding underneath Mysterio to the outside! Mysterio blocks Jericho with a kick and hits a springboard moonsault to the outside! Both men are down again!

Mysterio rolls Jericho in and steps up to the apron, spring boarding off the top rope but Jericho catches him with a Codebreaker! Codebreaker in mid-air! Jericho rolls over for the pin but Mysterio kicks out right before three! How is that not three?! Jericho gets to his feet and demands Mysterio stay down; punctuating his point with kicks to the ribs. Jericho charges into a low dropkick from Mysterio, sending him face first into the middle turnbuckle! Another low dropkick sets Jericho onto the middle rope! 619! Mysterio’s hit the 619! Springboard Splash! Mysterio gets the pin and the three!

Winner: Rey Mysterio (Pinfall via Springboard Splash) ****1/4

Mysterio can’t celebrate before Edge comes out to attack Mysterio. Mysterio evades Edge but doesn’t see Dolph Ziggler come from behind! Wait…DOLPH ZIGGLER?!?!?! Ziggler rolls Mysterio back into the ring and Edge cuts him down with a Spear! Jericho directs his partner to pull Mysterio up and they hit a Wheelbarrow/Codebreaker combo. The Tag Champions observe their work before leaving and letting Ziggler pick up the pieces. Ziggler stalks Mysterio, waiting for him to get to his feet before hitting the Leaping Russian Leg Sweep! The crowd boos the living hell out of Ziggler as Smackdown closes!