411’s WWE Sunday Night Heat Report 3.20.05

Hello everyone, and welcome to Sunday Night Heat. I am of course the man of the hour, too sweet to be sour, I eat T-bone steaks I lift barbell plates, I can’t think of something new to say but when I do it’ll be great, Alex P. Sit down, stay a while, or just shut up and read.

As usual we are welcomed to the show by Coach and Todd Grisham. And we’re ready for our first match. But appearently Simon Dean isn’t, he’s here to give a promo. He says looking at the crowd, it won’t be March Madness, it’ll be March Fatness. But he is interrupted by Viscera (thanks to all you who mailed in to correct my spelling, hope I got it right this time)

Simon Dean Vs. Viscera

We’re going to try something new today, so here is Alex P.’s “Tale of the Tape”

Name: Simon Dean
Height:
Weight: 220 lbs.
Finisher: Kryptonite Crunch
Done anything worthwhile?: He had a successful run in ECW under his Nova persona.
Deserving of a WWE Contract?: Well, judging by his work before WWE yes, currently, I wouldn’t say so.

Name: Viscera
Height: 6’6
Weight: 485 lbs.
Finisher: Big Splash, Powerslam
Done anything worthwhile: Had a mediocre run as Mabel in WWF, before being converted by The Undertaker into Viscera.
Deserving of a WWE Contract? Not really.

Furious shots to Viscera by Dean, tries to got for an Irish whip, but gets slammed by Viscera. Dean gets choked by a foot with over 400 pounds on top of it. Simon Dean runs to the top, but gets picked off and choked. Dean gets himself out of the choke, hits some shots, goes to the roped and is met with a spinning wheel kick. Then Viscera hits a 485 pound splash for the win.

Winner: Viscera

Commercials

We’re back with Todd and Coach. They run down a few of the Wrestlemania Matches before sending us into some footage from Orton and Undertaker contract signing on Smackdown! That’s not my job, this week Matt Nute filled in on the Smackdown! Side of things. His report can be read here: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/tvreports/article.php?tvreports_id=2097
As well as J.D. Dunn’s Smackdown Breakdown here: http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/tvreports/article.php?tvreports_id=2096

And Finally David B. Campbell’s Smackdown Highlight Reel:
http://www.411wrestling.com/wrestling/tvreports/article.php?tvreports_id=2098

And we’re back with our second match of the night.

Commercials

Chris Masters Vs. Jimmy Rave

Name: “Masterpiece” Chris Masters
Height: 6’5
Weight: 270 lbs.
Finisher: The Masterlock
Done anything worthwhile?: Nope. Probably won the OVW title though. And he destroyed Steven Richards, does that count? Didn’t think so.
Deserving of a WWE Contract?: HELL NO!

Name: Jimmy Rave
Height: 6’
Weight: 175 lb.s
Finisher: Doppler Effect
Done anything worthwhile?: Over the past 2 years Jimmy Rave has become a regular with Ring of Honor, as well as Combat Zone Wrestling where he has held the Iron Man title.
Deserving of a WWE Contract: To tell you the truth, I’ve never seen him wrestle, so we’ll find out together children.

And here is is, the most flashy entrance in sports entertainment and he’s been with the company for under a month. Oh and he gets mic time! Yay! Same old crap, I’m a masterpiece, I have muscles, hear me roar.

Oh good, here’s Jimmy Rave, to no reaction what-so-ever.

Drop toe hold by Masters, picks him up, and drops him over the rope. Slides out of the rings, and pulls Rave into the turnbuckle. Masters is back in the ring, and is choking Masters with his foot. Rave tries to mount of comeback with a couple of shots, but Masters hits the polish hammer, and locks in the Masterlock. It’s over.

Winner: Chris Masters
Wow, match of the decade contender here. These two men have unlimited potential…yes…potential.

Out main event is mixed tag action! Between Maven & Molly and Val Venis & Victoria.
Commercials

Here is our main event of the evening.

Maven & Molly Holly vs. Val Venis & Victoria

Name: Maven
Height: 6’2
Weight: 220 lb.s
Finisher: Flying clothesline, Lung buster
Done anything worthwhile?: Former Hardcore Champion, and first Tough Enough winner.
Desserving of a WWE contract?: McMahon doesn’t seem to think so.

Name: Molly Holly
Height: 5’4
Weight: 140 lbs.
Finisher: Molly-go-Round
Done anything worthwhile?: Multi-time Women’s champion. And one of the best Woman wrestlers in the world, But she was trained by Dean Malenko, what did you expect?
Deserving of a WWE contract?: Definetely.

Name: Val Venis
Height: 6’2
Weight: 227 lbs.
Finisher: The Money Shot
Done anything worthwhile?: 2 Time WWE intercontinental Champion, WWE European champion, CMLL World Champion (under his Steel alias)
Deserving of a WWE Contract?: Very.

Name: Victoria
Height: 5’8
Weight: 136 lbs.
Finisher: Widow’s Peak.
Done anything worthwhile?: 2 Time WWE Women’s Champion.
Deserving of a WWE Contract?: Yes.

Maven blindsides Val Venis, and gives him a series of vicious elbows in the corner. But Val fights abck with a clothesline and Verticle suplex. Maven calls for a Time Out in the corner, but is hit with a series of Knees and clothesline. Irish whip, and two more knee. Russian Leg sweep by Venis, who violates Maven with a horrible taunt, before giving him some mounted punches. Throws maven to the ropes, and Maven comes back with a clothesline, then tags out. Val Venis hits an atomic drop on Molly Holly and tags in Vicky who hits a few shoulders in the corner, and a backdrop. Molly runs outside, and Vicky tries to hits her with a plancha, but she moves and Vicky hits Maven. Flips Molly into the ring, and gets a roll-up. Todd claims he’s had dreams like this before we go to commercials.

We’re back with Molly Holly and Victoria in the ring. Molly swings her across the ring by the hair, before locking in a camel clutch, and tagging in Maven, who is technically not allowed to touch Victoria, but those aren’t so much rules as guidelines. He tags in Molly, who chokes out Vicky on the middle rope, and goes for the pin, but Victoria gets a ropebreak. Molly tags Maven, who kisses Victoria and gets slapped. He then hits a drop toe hold, and tags in Molly. Molly slaps Victoria a few times before Irish whipping her, and they both hit clotheslines. And they both tag out, and Val beats the hell out of Maven. Maven runs to the corner, and hits a kick to the gut, goes for a suplex, but Val falls out, and hits a sit out powerbomb, for 2. Molly distracts the ref while Maven hits a low blow for the win..

Winners: Molly & Maven.

Well, there you have it folks. In the mean time, and in between time, I am Alex P., and this has been another great edition of Sunday Night Heat. I’ll see you next week.

-Alex P.