wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 12.7.22
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Officially moved into my new place, and I have come to the conclusion that I need another bedroom to turn into a library.
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
Dynamite Diamond Battle Royal to start us off! LETS FUCKING GOOOO!!!!!!
We are informed that William Regal is still in the hospital, and Daniel Bryan is still by his side.
Ricky Starks, Jungle Boy, and Dustin Rhodes get their own entrances for the upcoming match.
Match 1: Dynamite Diamond Battle Royal
All the Foos
Some notable faces are Brian Cage, Orange Cassidy and even Dalton Castle. Dalton gives Matt Hardy a raspberry as the crowd chants for Ricky. Kip and Orange are going at it a bit till Butcher stops him and tries to eliminate him alongside Kip. Matt and Ethan Page corner Dalton as a team. OC skins the cat while Kip bites his hands. He locks the head of Kip slowly, Kip shoves, he kicks, Blade is here to punch Orange Cassidy, and he is eliminated. Awwww.
Rhodes and Butcher fight on the apron. Butcher hits the rope and clotheslines Rhodes hard, and he is eliminated. Interesting choice. Crowd is livid.
Brian Cage tries to eliminate Dalton, but he falls on his boys. Cage hits him again, and the boys catch him yet again. They walk him to the other side of the ring, put him on the apron. Dlaton with a right hand, he enters the ring, Cage grabs him and tosses him out of the ring onto the boys, and then the mat. Dalton is eliminated. Cage poses so Jungle Boy dorpkicks him. Cage is on the apron, grabs JB, looks to suplex him, but JB lands on his feet. Superkick to Cage. JB to the 2nd rope ,knees!!! CAGE IS ELIMINATED!!!
We are left with: Jungle Boy, Matt Hardy, Ricky Starks, Blade, Lee Moriarty, Sean Dean and Ethan Page.
Back from the break, and Starks has Butcher on the apron. Spear to Butcher sends him flying, and he is eliminated. Lee sends Ricky to the apron, Lee reaches for Ricky, right hand, JB with a rana sends Lee to the outside! JB hangs from the ropes, but here is W. Morrissey to give Jungle Boy a Big Boot, eliminating him!!!! Morrissey then grabs JB and CHOKESLAMS HIM ON THE APRON!! Holy shit…
Page grabs Starks, sends him into Matt Hardy’s Side Effect. Page tells Matt to hold Page’s hand up. Matt calls for the end, Page directs him to send Ricky outside. Page stomps the back of Ricky. Punch to Starks, they get Starks above th ropes, Dean grabs Page, left hands to Page. Hardy comes ot stop him, pAge attacks Sean from behind. Whip to the ropes, Dean with a tornado DDT! Kip up! Dean grabs Page, sends him to the ropes, but her is Matt to grab Dean, turn, TWIST OF FATE! Page sends Dean to the outside.
Matt Hardy, Ethan Page, and Ricky Starks are left. Page and Hardy argue as Matt feeds off the crowd. Matt hits some DELETES, then attacks Starks! Page joins him with some right hands to the back. They grab Ricky, Twist of Fate from —NO!!! Starks sends Matt over the to prope!!! Page attacks Ricky immediatle! Ricky with a tornado DDT!! SPEA—NO!!! Ricky stops himself, turns, roundhouse kick from Page!
Page launches Ricky onto his shoulders, goes for a powerslam over the top rope, but Ricky holds on and Ethan Page is eliminated!!!
Winner: Ricky Starks
Doesn’t Ricky already have a match against MJF? Interesting.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 13:03
Not a second after the bell rings, MJF’s music hits and he comes out with a mic. Massive boos for MJF as Ricky stnds tall, staring a hole through him.
MJF tells Ricky he’ll be with him in one second, then turns to the cam. He brings up Danielson, saying he didn’t want to show up tonight because he is terrified of MJF. He doesn’t blame Bryan. He’s a bad bad man, and that’s why in one week, he’ll be a four time Dynamite Diamond Ring Champion, and still the holder of the grandest prize of them all; The Triple B.
MJF calls Ricky Richard, says these people seem to really like him. He is very talented, but he’s not some underutilized Wrestling God.
STFU chant hits as MJF wants to put some truth down. He says in comparison to MJF, Ricky is the absolute driveling shits, or should he say he’s a rootie poo candy ass, considering the fact that he stole everything from that guy. He’s nothing more than a Dollar Store Dwayne. MJF is going to start calling him The Pebble, and next week MJF is going to put him in his pocket, hop in his brand new Porsche, drive Ricky to the nearest body of water and skip his scrawny little pigeoned-toed ass all the way back to NWA so he can wrestle on YouTube where he belongs. MJF doesn’t care that Ricky is absolute, because he is a generational talent, and his reign of terror has just begun.
Ricky walks up to MJF, shoulder checks him, then grabs his own mic.
HUGE RICKY chant.
Ricky calls him Maxi-pad, says he should have expected a fifth rate Roddy Piper wannabe to come out and try and steal the spotlight. You trash the city, trash the people, how much more you got? The low-hanging fruit is running dry, partner. Every week, MJF smells like paint-thinner and ass. The shirt is too small, the shitty scarf, the terrible haircut, and you think you’re better than Ricky Starks? Give him a break. Everything about MJF screams cheap. Cheap shoes, suit, heat. Here’s the thing, with that title comes a big responsibility that MJF knows nothing about. The difference between them two, is that when the people got behind him, he gave them a reason to keep going. When they put faith in MJF, he let them down. He let Regal down. When it comes to Ricky, he delivers on time, every week, every month, and MJF can take his little ass to Greece for 3 months because he didn’t get paid enough, because he got out-politicked by smarter better than him. Ricky shows up to signed meet-and-greets, but MJF just blows it off. Everyone hates MJF so he has nothing to lose, right? Besides your nose being a lot darker than the rest of MJFs body, he lives with dignity and respect. When he lived in his car in South Austin, he was grinding. He knew the responsibility. When it comes to that woman in the crowd, it’s his job to get her a car, a house, and because MJF pays others, kisses ass, he can get whatever he wants? Give Ricky a break. Next week is a big deal because he is shutting up MJF for once in his narcissitic punk ass life.
He is Ricky Starks, next week he’s slappin the mole off his neck, he’s taking the title. He will do MJF a favor; he’s going to take the responsibility off his plate, little boy.
MJF nods, then hits Ricky with a low blow. MJF with the diamond ring! MJF swings, Ricky ducks, hits the ropes, SPEAR TO MJF!!!
Well they certainly got the crowd into it. Ricky was kind of all over the place, but the passion was there. It’s kinda hard to call someone cheap when his entire schtick is that he’s covered in Burberry (which, CAN be considered cheap depending on where you’re from), but other than that, we had some good energy.
WE ARE BACK and Jon Moxley says he is tired of JAS. He warns everyone that he will be there tonight to make sure that this shit gets put to bed for good. As for Hangman Page he knows where to find Moxley.
Match 2: TNT Championship Match
Samoa Joe vs Darby Allin
JOE smirks at the size difference. Darby with rights and lefts over and over, Joe shoves him, dropkick to Joe sends him outside. Darby hits the ropers, suicide dive and Joe steps aside! Joe lifts Darby for a powerbomb, but opts to swing him into the barricade, apron, then back to the barricade. Joe moves the padding outside, he lifts up for a powerbomb, Ricky floats off, runs, and Joe hits a sick ass powerslam.
WE come back and Joe tosses Darby so hard into the ringpost that he fucking spins in the air on his way to the outside. Lol. Joe checks his work out as Doc Sampson checkn on Darby. The ref starts the count. Darby is sow to rise as Joe poses in the ring. Darby crawls towards the ring at 7, and slides in at 8. He is unable to stand, but he’s still in. Joe kicks him a few times toyingly, until Darby stands and slaps the shit out of Joe. Darby slinks under, lifts up, Manattan Drop, Big Boot to Darby! SENTON to Darby! Cover for 1..2……NO!!!! Darby to the outside, Joe slides out, lands on his feet, Darby flies, Joe catches him, Darby sends Joe into the steps! Darby to the top rope!!! COFFIN DROP!!!! Joe takes it!
Both men in the ring, Joe goes for a sleeper, upkick, Darby slinks behind. STUNNER! CODE RED! Cover! 1..2……NO!!!! Darby rushes the corner, Joe catches him. STO! Joe corners Darby. Sits him on the top, looking for Muscle Buster. Darby escapes, Joe chops the shit out of his chest and heads to the top rope. Joe captures the head, Darby BITES THE FACE!!!! Joe falls to the mat. Darby to the top rope! COFFIN DRO—NO!!!!
JOE CATCHES HIM IN A SLEEPER!!!!! Darby claws at Joe’s arms, Joe won’t let go, Darby fades. It’s over.
Winner: Samoa Joe
Darby just has an uncanny ability to make you believe he can take the ass-kicking and still win, even when the win is highly unlikely. A solid big man/little man match that did way more for Joe than pretty much anything he’s done.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 10:22
Darby stands and shouts at Joe. He shoves Joe. Joe with a headbutt!!! Joe grabs the nearby skateboard, the ref leaves the ring, Joe turns the board on its back, sits Darby on the top rope.
MUSCLEBUSTER ON THE SKATEBOARD!!!!!!
SLEEPER AGAIN!!!
Ref calls for an end to the savagery, but it’s ok because here comes WARDLOW!!!
He slides into the ring, Joe rolls right the fuck out.
Tony Schiavone is backstage with Orange Cassidy and Kip Sabian. OC wants to talk to Kip. He tells him he doesn’t need to do all this, if he wants a shot at the title, he just gotta ask. Kip calls him a clementine, and points out the obvious – that he is injured and cant wreslte. OC says if Kip won’t fight him this Friday, find someone that can. Kip twists his mustache, and it’s official for Friday; OC will face someone of Kip’s choosing.
Chris Jericho has a iphone promo spliced with some footage to talk about beating Claudio at Final Battle. All Honor The Ocho.
Match 3: Daniel Garcia (w/ Sammy Guevara) and Jake Hager (w/ His Hat) vs Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta (w/ Jon Moxley)
Yuta and Garcia to start, but Garcia wants out, tags in Hager. Jake tells Yuta to wait, pulls his hat out of his trunks, and tosses it to Claudio. Claudio looks to put it on, but it’s a fakeout, and Claudio kicks it in the crowd.
Hager with a knee to the distracted Yuta. Yuta back flips over th head, chop to Hager. Hger misses a right, hits the ropes, shoulder tackle from Hager. Hager sends Yuta into the corner ,tag to Garcia. Stomps in the corner from Garcia. Chops from Yuta, Chop from Garcia. They trade some, Yuta corners Garcia, whip out of the corner, Yuta hops over Garcia, body slam, senton to Garcia! Cover or 1..2..NO!! Yuta tags in Claudio, Big boot from both, Yuta kicks Garcia away, and he tags in Hager, who gets a drop toe hold from Claudio. Claudio with a headlock as a WE THE PEOPLE chants starts. Elbows from Hager. Right to the face, whip to the corner ,Claudio hops over, hip toss from Claudio into a pin for 1..2NO!!! Tag to Yuta. Yuta flies with an axe handle. Yuta shoved int othe corner, dropkick off the top rope to Hager! In comes Garcia, and he gets an Angle Slam! Yuta flies ot the outside with a suicide dive to both men! Yuta sends Hager into the rin. Yuta to the top rope, Sammy to the apron for a distraction, Garcia shoves Yuta into Hager’s arms, who slams him down the nhits the Hager Bomb! Cover for 1…2..NO!!!!! Tag to Garcia. Garcia uppercuts in the corner. Another. Yuta tries to fight out, right to Hager, to Garcia, kick from Garcia, chop from Garcia. Garcia pulls back on the afce of Yuta. Yuta to the top rope. Garcia is up there, too. SUPERPLEX FROM YUTA!!
WE come back and Yuta hits a high kick then a GERMAN to Garcia! Tag to Hager. Tag to Claudio! Uppercuts from Claudio! HUGE uppercut in the corner, whip, another , another, another. Left and rights! Ref stops Claudio, he spins, and hits some more uppercuts!!! Deeeeyumm. Claudio sits hager on the top. RANA FROM CLAUDIO!! Shoots the legs! Claudio wants the swing! Garcia in! He hops on the back of LCaudio! SLEEPER FROM GRACIA!! Claudio drops him down, Yuta flies off the top rope with a splash! Hager picks the ankle! ANKLE LO—NO!!! Upkick from Claudio! He shoots the legs, BIG SWING!!! He hits ten! HUGE clothesline to Hager! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!! He tries for a Nuetralizer, back body drop from Hager, but Claudiol ands on his feet, shots towards the ropes, Sammy is there to hold onto Claudio’s hands! Moxley runs by to send Sammy flying!
Claudio bounces off with a crossbody, but Hager turns this into an Ankle Lock! Yuta in! Garcia with the Dragon Tamer! They each pose in their respective permissions. Yuta is able to get out Claudio, too! Claudio shoots Hager up! Uppercut! Cover! 1..2….3!!!!
Winners: Wheeler Yuta and Claudio Castagnoli
A bit of a speed bump on a show that is moving very quickly, but a necessary one. The action was good and the Claudio was Claudio-ing.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 12:38
Schiavone in the ring, wants to show us an interview from a few weeks back. Yuta and Claudio seem confused.
WE head back to a few weeks ago. Tony wonders what happened. Regal says people will only see this if something bad happens to him, and you’re always expecting that. He took great exception to what MJF did to Tony, and he’s mad about emails. He gave MJF what he wanted – he’s world champ, but now everyone will be chasing MJF. He realized several months ago that the three main members of the BCC don’t need him around anymore, but also knew they wouldn’t let him go. He needed to show them why they don’t need him, and why they can teach Wheeler to be the best in the world. You have to lead by example, though. Hopefully, and we know that jon will understand, but he reason he did hat he did was to teach the final thing he could ever teach: always stay one step ahead and always keep eyes in the back of your head. He is BCC till the day he dies. It’s been emotional.
Regal walks off camera.
Tony says he recorded this with Regal two weeks ago, and he wants the reaction.
Jon knows one thing for sure: the three men in this ring live and breathe for the sport of pro wrestling. December 10th, ROH, this war with JAS is over. These men made a statement and this Friday he makes a statement. He challenges any wrestler in the world. Pro wrestling is about to make a serious statement.
House of Black is here to tell us that this company has been corrupted by people who still hold the shovels in their hands that they used to dig the graves of others. The company is sick and dying, and perhaps it’s time for himself and his others to put down this corruption. IN comes Julia Hart to say the crime is treason. Buddy Matthews says the verdict is War. Brody King sentences everyone to extermination. So it has been decided. Anyone who has an issue with what they have done or said, come one come all on Wednesday next week.
WE head to a sit down with Jamie Hayter who talks about doing her duty as a champion to both reign and defend her title. She is offering a title shot to the winner of the match come Friday between Hikaru Shida and The Bunny.
We head back to Texas for some Baddies Action.
Match 4: Jade Cargill and The Baddies vs Skye Blue, Madison Rayne, and Kiera Hogan
Jade and Skye to start, but Jade don’t want it. She tags in Velvet who does some back and forth with Blue till she gets hit with an arm drag. Lockup and side headlock from Red Velvet. Snapmare from Skye, into a rollup for 1…NO!!! Velvet reverses. They trade some pins, each girl getting 1. Both girls stand, Red wants Sky to tag, Skye turns to tag and Red pulls her hair, slamming Blue down hard. Lol. Nice. Tag to Leila who covers for 1..2.NO!!! Grey whips Blue to the corner. Runing high knee from Leila. Kick from Skye to the knee!!! She tries for another to the face, Grey spins her, and Skye hits an enziguri! Skye backs into a pin from Madison. They double whip, Rayne trips the girl up, dropkick from Skye. Cover for 1…NO!!! Rayne tags in Skye, snapmare to Leila who runs ti tag in Red Velvet. Blue in, misses a right, hits a superkick, and Red rolls to the outside! Skye dives though the ropes, Red pulls the apron back and traps Blue in it! Some rights stop Sky in her tracks.
WE come back to Red having Blue by the boot. They each go for superkicks, each landing one, and both girls are down. Tag from Jade, tag to Kiera. She comes in with some elbows, Jade shoves her, dropkick from Kiera corners Jae. Grey runs in and gets sent right the fuck back out. Dropkick from Kiera to Jade. In comes Red, and she gets sent out, too. Kiera kicks, Jade catches her lifts her up and slams her a down like a boss.
Jade pulls the arms back, tries for Jaded, Kiera counters, tag in Rayne, Rayne in with an enziguri, rip cord, elbow from jade, locks the arms, jaded! Cover for 1……2…..3!!!
Winners: Jade Cargill and The Baddies
Interesting ending there, with Kiera tagging out so as to not lose. Red did a ulk of the work, and she is noticeably bothered. Match quality was supbar.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:08
Tony is backstage with Saraya, but here comes Britt to congratulate her on the biggest win of her career, and it will never happen again. She’s been thinking about how Saraya said everything was handed to her, but Saraya’s first match was her biggest. Here’s one more thing handed to her. Tickets to the Kia Forum. Saraya calls for round 2, Britt says that she did not say that. She has the Women’s Champion with her, and she will be there as her tag partner. Saraya tells Tony to team with her, but Britt takes Tony away.
Why buy her tickets? Weirdo.
Well, guess I’ll see them in LA.
Match 5: AEW World Tag Team Championship Match
FTR vs The Acclaimed
Dax and Bowens to start. Crowd is firmly behind them boys as they chant “OHHH SCISSOR ME DADDY!” LOCKUP!!! Dax corners Bowens, tag from Cash, and Bowens backs up into his corner to stop a double team.
Backstage, Sonjay Dutt, Jeff Jarrett, and Jay Lethal watch on.
Back to the ring, Cash with a side headlock takedown, Bowens with a head scissor, they do it again, Cash tries to stomp the fingers, Anthony moves, takedown into a pin from Cash for 1..2..NO!!! Bowens gets his own for 1..2.NO!!! Tag to Max, who comes in and we get
MAX v DAX!!!
Shoulder tackle form Da, Max hops over, hip toss, dropkick to Dax, arm drag from Max slams Dax down hard! Tag to Bowens and he comes in to pull on the let arm, he drops the arm on the shoulder, Dax with a punch, then a hard chop in the corner. Bowens with a chop, Da hits his own, Bowens returns the faor. Right ands to the afce, whip to the ropes, Dax reverses, they try for hip tosses all the way across the ring to the ropes. Ref breaks it and All four men get in the ring. Ref tries to hold them back, but we get a beatdown from all of them!! Cash misses a right and gets sent to the outside! Max drops Max with a body slam. Bowens to the top rope. SCISSOR ME TIMBERS!!!! Tag to Max. Bowens grabs Dax and opens him up for a kick. Whip to Dax, misses a right, Max hops over the head, shoots the leg from Dac, goes for a Sharpshooter but Max punches up, tands, looks for his own sharpshooter, but Cash is in, only for Bowens to pick the ankle, and we get stereo Sharpshooters! Dax to the ropes!
FTR fights Max on the outside, catapulting him into the bottom rung of the ring apron.
BACK FROM BREAK and Cash has Max up on the top rope. He hits a chop and hooks the pants. Max fights of, shoves Cash down to the mat, hits the top rope and dives off with a crossbody! Dax in off the tag, gets a back body drop from Max. Bowens lega. Chop to Dax, one for Cash, another, elbows to th head, side forearms and back elbows, kick to Cash, antoher kick, he hits the ropes, Fameasser to the back of the head! Back elbow to Dax! Punch. Kick to Dax! Running knee! Cover for 1..2.2…..NO!!!! Another kick to Dax, one for the chest, he hits the ropes, goes for a leg lariat, but Dax ducks, locks up from behind. GERMAN! ANOTHER! Swith from Bowens, O’Conner Roll, 1..2..NO!!!! Bowens hits a headbutt onto Cash on the apron, Dax rolls him up, holds the trunks!!! 1…2…NO!!!! owens with a neckbreaker and a pin for 1…2…NO!!!! Bowens tries for a back suplex, Dax gets a tg, Bowens doesn’t see it. Dax setsup for a piledriver, Cash dives off the 2nd rope! Piledriver! Cover for 1..2…..NO!!!!! Tag to Dax. Cash and Dax lift Bowens up. They go for a double suplex, but Max is in with a spear to Cash!! Rollup for 1..2..NO!!!! Bowens almost gets it! Right hand to Dax! Tag to Max! Roll into a cutter/slam combo! Cover for 1..2….NO!!!! Max grabs Antohny, lifts up Dax. Locks the head, Lifts Dax to the sohulders, flips ihm over ,Dax olls through, kicks Ma into Bowens, whip, BIG RI—NO!!!! Bowen shoves Dax into Max, Acclaied looking for the finish. Dax sneds Bowens to the ring post! BIG RIG!!!! Cover! 1…..2…..N!O!! Bowens slides in to stop the pin even after Cash drops an axe on him!!! Lordy!
Bowens on the apron. Cash puts a target on his back. Cash shoves him off into the barricade and gets on the arpon. Dax sits Max on the top rope. Tag from Cash. Bowens shoves Dax! Cash dives off into Bowens hands. The Arrival to Cash! Max dives off with Mic Drop! NOBODY HOME!!! Bowens hits a clothesline on the outside!!! He enters, GORY BOMB TO BOWENS FROM VASH!! Max with a rollup!! 1..2…N!O!!! Kick to the arm from Max, back hand, HUGE LARIAT FROM CASH! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!
Another clothesline!!! A THIRD! GOOD LORD! Locks the head, flips up, powerbomb into a jackknif—NO!! Max rolls through and sits on Cash for a pin! 1……2….3!!!!
Winners: The Acclaimed
An interesting choice to end it this way, with a rollup, but they left a lot out there in the ring and this match kicked a bunch of ass. I’d assume this is not the end for them, even with the appearance of Sonjy and Co.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 16:42
Billy Gunn help up Cash and Dax. The Acclaimed wants to scissor as commentary talks about FTR “being back, and being back soon.” Weird.
All five men scissor and hug it out.
Backstage, The Gunn kids mock, saying their legacy is gone. They are trash. They’ve had a good year, and they have a gift for them. It’s written in blood. It’s from Dem Boys…Saturrday…Final Battle. Dog Collar Match. Merry Christmas…Bitch!
End Show
