wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 5.22.24
Image Credit: AEW
Loading...Part Two sees Michael Ornelas chat it up with a pretty hot comedian about the intricacies of the Chipotle experience!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
Let’s do the thing that we do every Wednesday!!!!
We are in Bakersfield this week, which means we are ONE week away from me being at an AEW Event LIVE for the first time!
The awesomely wonderful Orange Cassidy is here for some action. Don Callis is ringside at the booth with a notepad, taking some notes on the bad ass that is OC.
Orange Cassidy and Will Ospreay vs Trent Baretta and Roderick Strong
AS soon as the bell rings, OC leaves the ring to have a little hockey fight with Trent. Ospreay to the top rope! Flies with a forearm! Cover! 1..2..NO!!! Oc and Trent finally get to their own apron as Strong knees Will nit othe corner. A few body shots and a chop from Strong. Will fights back with some rights, but Strong hits a knee. Big back body drop off the ropes from Will. Tag to OC. OC to the top rope. He fleis, roll through, right hand to Trent, ducks under a right, tornado DD-NO! Strong escspaes, whips, sends OC to the apron, he blocks a right, sends Strong to the buckle, again. Another one and Strong shoots to the cente. OC to the top rope, Trent is up, sweeps the leg. He grabs OC for a piledriver but Ospreay comes over to make t he save. Strong kicks him, and grabs OC to hit a back suplex onto the apron, then Trent flies in from off screen with a spear!!!
We are BACK And OC hits a sick dropkick to Strong, looks to hip up but cant so he kind of hobbles over to the corner to tag in Will. Tag to Trent. Elbow strike off the ropes to Trent, in comes Strong, but Will hits the ropes and handsprings backwards into a leg lariat from both legs. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Will rushes the corner, Trent moves, goes for a tornado DDT, but Will holds on, grabs the head, dead lift into a half and half from Trent who reverses! Will tries for a rollup, gets 1..2..NO!! In comes Strong off the tag, running forearm, another, suplex, cover for 1..2.NO!!! Will traps Strong in the corner, kicks the face, tag to OC, powerbomb from Will, Will with a Pheonix Splash from the middle rope! OC falls with an elbow drop. He rips the pad off his arm and goes to the corner, where Trent grabs the boot. Strong runs into a boot, OC to the top, kick from Strong, locks the head in the corner, OC fights away, Will runs up and headbutts Strong, but in comes Trent to grab Will and hit a German, but Will lands on his feet!!! Running boot! Oc flies with a DDT to Trent! Strong chops Will, OC, Will runs up him, step up enziguri, Tornado DDT form OC! He covers! Will stuffs Trent, but he pushes them into the pin, breaking it up at 2. Trent goes to the corner to rip off the buckle, ref stops him, OC kicks the gut, Strong kicks OC, Don is up off the announce table. Strong looks to finish it, but Don grabs OC’s boot preventing the move! OC with a cutter! In comes Taven and Bennett but Will sends them outside, then flies onto them! He stands to celebrate but out comes
Wardlow to hit a clothesline to Will from behind!!!
In the ring, OC misses an Orange Punch. Trent hits a knee strike! End of Heartache! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winners: Trent Baretta and Roderick Strong
Hell of an opener.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 12:50
In the ring, Roderick Strong grabs the belt as Wardlow holds Will Ospreay up with Taven and Bennett. Strong hits Will with the title straight to the dome. Will does a blade job.
On the outside, Trent locks in a submission with his shin across the neck of Orange, holding it till OC passes out.
IN the ring, Strong grabs Will, and hits him with an End Of Heartache.
Backstage, The Young Bucks have security around them and hold up a photo of Darby Allin. They call him a prick, and say he is banned from the arena. They hand the photo to security and say to not allow him into the ring.
IN comes Sonjay Dutt to say The Bucks took care of FTR on Collision and tonight, his Indian giant will destroy The American Dragon. Matt says if he beats him, cool. But if he hurts him, great. Dutt says as long as the money is in the envelope, Singh is going to break Bryan like a pencil.
Bullet Club Gold are here for some talky talk. Jay White introduces themselves then goes on a long tirade against Pac and his name. It’s pretty bad.
Thankfully, Pac comes on the screen to say three on one isn’t exactly fair, now is it. So allow him to introduce to them, his amigos…
The lights go out. And we get the entrance of The Death Triangle!!
They run down the ramp and enter the ring for the attack! Superkicks to The Gunns! Death Triangle clears the ring, and Pac grabs a mic. He challenges them to a match this Sunday for the titles.
Hook vs Bryan Keith vs Katsuyori Shibata
Shibata chops Kieth after a big kick to Hook. Hook rushes the corner with a bunch of right ands. Shibata gets sent outside. Arm drag from Hook to Kieth. Sleeper from behind. By Hook. Here comes Shibata to choke hold Hook. Jawbreaker breaks it all up. Hook grabs the hips and hits a suplex, Shibata with a Saito suplex. Hook with a belly to belly. Shibata hits his own.
We come back to Kieth hitting a powerbomb to Hook. He pins for 1..2.NO!! Shibata with a big boot in the corner, one for Kieth, one for Hook! Shibata with a suplex! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Shibata with a neckbreaker, Hook is sent outside!
Shibata tries for a Fihgure Four, get a Heel Hook in as well. Hook runs in! REDRUM! KIETH TAPS TO BOTH!!!
Winners: Hook and Katsuyori Shibata
Weird way to get to the triple threat, with the ref calling both of them a winner. But should be good either way.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 6:29
The ref announces both men as winners. The crowd chants to LET THEM FIGHT. Jericho grabs a mic, says he loves camera time, this is why he’s here. He says it’s all good, both men are the winners. He tells Shibata he’s proud of all they’ve learned from him. He calls himself the longest-reigning FTW Champion in history.
Willow Nightingale vs Mercedes Money gets a video package
We come back to a cool vid on Konosuke and Jon Moxley.
Konosuke Takeshita vs Matt Sydal
Elbow strikes from Takeshita. Matt tries to fight back, hits a sick DDT, heads to the top rope, but Takeshita is up, rushes the corner, grabs Sydal, Blue Thunder Bomb! Takeshita with a HUGE elbow to the face. Cover. 1…2…3!!
Winner: Konosuke Takeshita
Squishy
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:55
Takeshita grabs Sydal from behind to hit him with a German, but Moxley’s music hits and he comes down with a mic. He gets in the ring, stares Takeshita down, then just clocks him with it. Haha.
Nick Wayne vs Swerve Strickland
Nick tries to toy with Swerve, going in and out of the ring until Swerve catches him outside and removes his belt to beat Nick’s ass with it. Swerve puts his belt back on and hops onto the apron then rips the covering of the rod in the corner. He ties to send Nick into it but Nick stops him. Swerve shoots him inside then hits him with a dropkick. Swerve corners Nick, Nick sends him over, right is blocked, chop, and he sends Swerve into the exposed buckle. Dropkick to Swerve. Nick kicks off the apron. Moonsault off the corner, but Swerve catches him, but NICK HITS A DDT!!!
House Call by Swerve ends it!
Winner: Swerve Strickland
A bit of an elongated squash.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues
After the match, Killswitch attacks! Out comes Christian Cage to check on Nick, but Swerve crotches Killswitch in the corner and goes to attack Cage. Cage runs out of the ring and around it. Swerve follows, hits Killswitch on the way, and chases Cage to the back. Cage runs to an exit, hops in an SUV, tosses someone out of the driver’s seat, and leaves with a smile. BUT an SUV with Prince Nana pulls up in front of him!
This gets a huge pop.
Swerve grabs Cage through the window and pulls him out! He tosses cage against a truck and drags him back towards the SUV. Cage climbs to the top of the car for some reason. Swerve follows. Cage kicks, feed goes out, comes back on and Cage and Swerve are fighting atop the car. DDT FROM SWERVE!!!
Nana hands Swerve a chair and he goes to hit a Conchairto, but Cage rolls off and runs away.
Kyle O’Reilly vs Malakai Black
They guy size each other up, then Balck locks up and they roll the ropes. KBNee from Kyle, ref breaks them up. Wrist lock from Kyle, they trade roundkicks then front kicks, then knees trikes and both men down. Black with a kick, but Kyle kicks him back off the springboard. Black with a leg sweep! Hammy kicks from Black. Kick from Kyle, Black catches, hits a high knee, and Kyle is sent outside.
We are back to Kyle hitting a forearm in thee corner, then a German and an elbow strike to get a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Kyle stands, kicks the shoulder, Black is up, right hands from Kyle. Black with a right, knee from Kyle, they trade rights and lefts, Kyle with some kicks, damn they are just goin in! Kyle goes for the body, shoots the legs, mounts and drives down with some strikes! He tries for the armbreaker but Black blocks, so Kyle turns into an ankle lock and the crowd loves it. Kyle cinches the hold, Black shows struggle, turns into it, stands, Brainbuster!!!! Cover! 1.2….NO!!!! Kyle kicks out at the last second. Black shoots the legs, Kyle spins out of it, knee to the face, boot to the back of the head, tries for a back elbow, but
Black hits his own, they both kick, both standing, Black shoots his knee up, it’s a fake out! The End! Cover! 1.2….3!!!
Winner: Malakai Black
Well that was different and fun. Good shit.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:07
Black stands, struggling a bit to do so, and the ref holds his hand up. The lights flicker red and black over and over you’d think The Fiend was on his way out. They stop, there’s a pause, then a bunch of “blood” pours from the sky!
The tron is on! Adam is walking down some steps. He is all smiles, tells Malakai to be careful what you wish for, then laughs maniacally. He tells Black he’ll see him soon.
Toni Storm and Mariah May vs Saraya and Harley Cameron
May and Cameron to start. Harley gains the upperhand but it’s short lived as May sweeps the legs then hits a dropkick. May with a rana, then a fireman’s, but Harley hops off and tags in Saraya. Tag to Toni. She attacks, grabs May, hits a body slam to her onto Saraya. May gets a tag, tags Toni in and tries to hit a body slam to Toni, bu can’t so Toni hits another onto Saraya. Tag to May. May grabs the hair, hits a knee, runs the ropes, then hits a running knee.
We are BACK and May and Harley are going at it. Toni ets a tag, she cmes in to hit a knee, knocks Saraya onto the apron, rolls out of the corner, spins Harley, hits her with a backstabber, then in comes Saraya and Toni hits a ffew jabs. Headbutt to Harley. Splash in th corner, drop toe hold to Saraya INTO Harley. She lifts up and drops Harley with a powerbomb. Cover for 1.2..NO!!! Saraya stop her. In comes May to heit a headbutto to Saray! Toni sits Harley up top, May sits Saraya up top. Saraya and Harley take over, each hitting a Sunset Bomb off their corners. Pin from Harley gets a 1.2…NO!!!
Harley and Saraya plan in the middle of the ring. They kick but May and Toni catch their boots, place their feet down, then each give a kiss to their opponents. Storm Zero. May Day! Another Storm Zero! Cover! 1.2…3!!!
Winners: Toni Storm and Mariah May
So do the kisses make them faces automatically?
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:06
Toni Storm and Mariah May celebrate but here comes Deeb with a chair! She smacks Luther! Lol. Deeb trips up Storm, then grabs a shoe and makes sure the heel is pointing outward. She stabs Toni with it, hard! Deeb grabs a chai and sits it on the back of Toni, then locks in the half-crab.
Deeb going heel may be the best thing here.
Get it…. “heel?”
Backstage, Jay White and Co say Death Triangle gotta earn their title shot.
They redeem themselves with a much better promo from The Gunns here, then we hear some direction from a producer, so that’s fun.
Bryan Danielson vs Santam Singh
Ready for this man’s best match of all time?
Bryan corners him with kicks then mounts the corner for punches but Singh shoves him off of him then hits a high boot. Singh sends Bryan into the corner head first. Singh with a huge chop to the chest. Singh with a delayed vertical. He drops Bryan hard. Bryan to the outside. Singh follows. Jarrett and Lethal are nearby. Dutt dismantles the announce table for no good reason, and it collapses on it’s own. Singh turns around, presumably for a chokeslam onto the table, but it’s obliterated so Bryan hops onto the apron and kicks. A running knee, then another. Singh finds a chair to sit on and Bryan runs with a dropkick to him.
Bryan holds his fist up, rushes Singh and…runs into a goozle! Chokeslam to the apron, and that’s a nice audible. Singh covers with a boot for 1…NO! Dutt tries to rip the buckle pad off but cant so Singh walks over and rips it off. The ref stops him from sending Bryan into it then yells at Dutt. Bryan with a low blow!!!!! Bryan with the knee!!!!!! He goes for another! GOOZLE! Kick! Another! Kicks to the chest! One for the head. Singh eats them all! He is pissed! He asks for aother, huge frying pan of a chop to the chest! Singh lifts Bryan, Bryan to the shoulders, sits on one and drives elbows into the chest.
Singh is down! LaBell Lock!!!!
IN comes Jarrett and Jay Lethal! They beat Bryan down and cause the DQ!
Winner: Bryan Danielson via DQ
Well, it wasn’t pretty, but I expected worse from a match with Singh and Dutt nearby.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 5:01
Jarrett tries for the guitar, but Bryan escapes! Running knee to Lethal! One for JJ! Bryan has the guitar!!!! Dutt runs in, shoves Bryan. Bryan turns and points to Dutt. Bryan swings, Singh smacks the guitar apart with a punch! Lethal and Jarrett are up. The corner Bryan. Splash from Singh.
Here come The EVPs!
JJ beats down Bryan as commentary explains FTR is down and out, Darby is banned from the building, and Bryan has no help.
The Bucks shake the hands of Jarrett’s people and they leave. Matt and Nick stomp Bryan away in the corner. They grab the arms of Bryan and ready The EVP Trigger but Bryan backs up and the knees collide! Bryan with kicks over and over to Matt, then Nick, then the coin drops!!
Kazuchika OKADA!!!!
Here is Jack Perry from behind to attack Bryan!
Rainmaker from Okada!
We go to the tron! Darby Allin gets out of a car and goes to the driver. It’s Tony Khan! Darby is here and he’s got a fucking flamethrower! Bryan is up and tosses Nick off the stage through a table a Darby goes all wide eyed with the flame.
End Show
