wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 7.12.23
Image Credit: AEW
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My apologies for the quick exit last week! I got called into the pub for a last minute coverage of a bartender decided to leave to San Diego the night before and couldn’t make it home in time.
Before you ask, yes he was reprimanded, and yes, I still found a way to watch some Magic Meat!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
We start with Chris Jericho heading to the ring. He lets the crowd finish his song before Kommander comes out to get squashed.
Chris Jericho vs Kommander
Jericho shoves Kommander’s face a few times, so Kommander hits some right forearms then corners Jericho and hits an uppercut. Jericho chops Kommander into his own corner, then whips. Reveresal. Jericho lifts him up in the corner, and Kommander sticks it, upside down for a a bit. Arm drag and some rope work, and Kommander sends Jericho t othe outside. He flies over the top with a spin, knocking Jericho on his ass. Kommander with a right. Whip to the steps. Jericho’s head meets steps, then Kommander hits a sloppy leg lariat.
Back in the ring, Jericho drops Kommander and gets a cocky pin for 1. Chop from Jericho nearly removes a nipple. Another chop drops Kommander against the ropes. Jericho locks up for a brainbuster, hits it. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Chop from Kommander, knee from Jericho, whip, Kommander flips over the back, kicks the legs a few times, then kicks the chin with a heel. Kommander to the ropes, Jericho just hi tosses Kommander over the top rope to the outside. Lol.
We are back, and the crowd is all over Jericho. Jericho chops Kommander, misses a clothesline, gets rana’d by Kommander, then powerbombs him. Another, this time with a toss. Cradle from Kommande for 1..2..NO!!! Kommander does some grappling, turns into a pin, and gets another 1..2.NO!!! Jericho sends Kommander o the corner, sits him up top, Kommander with a headbutt, another, Jericho drops. Kommander to the top, he walkls the ropes, shooting star process off the bounce! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Jericho si sent to the outside. Kommander walks the entirety of the rope, hops onto the adjacent one, and flies off onto Jericho. Kommander rolls Jericho into the ring, springboard Pheonix Splash. Kinda sloppy. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Codebreaker from Jericho! 1….2….NO!!!
Jericho misses a Judas, high kick from Kommander, again, chop to the chest, rope walk, flips for a rana, but Jericho catches him and turns. This into The Liontamer! Kommander taps!
Winner: Chris Jericho
You’re likely close to never going to hear me say this, but this match got a bit too much time. I also have to say that as awesome as some of the moves are that Kommander does, if they’re not crisp, then they come off as sloppy, and that’s what happened tonight.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 12:50
Don Callis is out immediately after Jericho wins to something that could hardly be called music. It’s ominous and creepy. In a good way.
Massive boos for Don the minute he tries to talk. He talks about 28 years ago, when they were part of a faction led by Bad News Allen. Don is feeling nostalgic, but he’s got a video surprise for him.
We go way way back and see Jericho and Don together with significantly more hair.
Jericho and Don are all chummy, talking to Bad News. Don calls them a couple of Gods. Jericho remembers this, 1995, and Jericho still has all his hair – meanwhile Don is chrome-domin it up. Jericho remembers what Bad News said. He said to make sure that he and Don always stick together.
Don says they didn’t keep their promise. He feels emotional. He feels like Bad News is up there right now, smiling, just at the possibility of joining The Don Callis Family. Let him know when he’s ready, but you know what Bad News would want.
Jericho looks up at the sky.
After a recap of the Hook and Jungle Boy saga, we head backstage, and Marvez is standing by an SUV where, allegedly, Jungle Boy awaits. Marvez knocks on the window, and Jack rolls it down to tell us that he will not come out into a hostile working environment. We see that the door on the other side has been opened and a man tossed out. Hook attacks JB, but he opens the door and runs out. Hook grabs the hair, but JB still makes it away. Hook looks to the cam.
Hook: “Keep runnin, Perry.”
Rene is backstage, and up comes Don with an announcement. He will announce the fifth member for BCC tonight by himself.
Renee asks if he is concerned about Kenny Omega.
Don says he isn’t tough, but if there is one guy he isn’t afraid of, it’s Kenny Omega. He isn’t worried, Kenny will be hiding behind the skirts of The Young Bucks.
We head to earlier this week, where MJF and Adam Cole are taking shots at a bar. MJF wonders where the shirt is. Cole says he lost it.
Some chicks walk buy the duo. MJF says he sees 2 for him, and 2 for Cole. Cole says he can make the cameras go away if that’s the whole deal. Cole says he cares about Britt. MJF says he is so brave. Four more for daddy.
MJF walks up to the ladies and asks them to go to the bathroom with him. Lol.
Minutes later, MJF comes by with messy hair, zipping up his pants.
Cole has a confession. He never lost the shirt. He’ll put it on here and now if they do what he wants to do next. He whispers to MJF, and MJF says WTF.
We switch to them about to play Fight Forever. Cole gets him to do it by saying his stats are high.
MJF says it’s kind of fun. It’s more fun to play games when you have a buddy. Cole asks if he’s ever played a multi-player game before, and MJF sadly says you need friends for that.
Cole asks MJF to pause it. He wants to be transparent. When they were forced to be a tag team, he had every intention of blind-siding MJF and cutting him out. MJF laughs, saying he was going to do the same. Cole says MJF is pretty cool, man. He’s cool.
MJF asks if he means it. He calls Cole cool, too. They’re going to win the titles because they’re better, baybay.
And they win, in the game, and celebrate.
Darby Allin and Orange Cassidy vs Sammy Guevara and Daniel Garcia
Orange and Sammy to start. OC mocks Sammy with the little ‘I’m crazy’ thing, so Sammy puts his hands in his trunks. OC is about to do the same, but strikes with a side headlock. Arm drag from Sammy, from OC, Sammy tries again and OC stands tall, causing Sammy to fall to his ass. They trade some sick moves but neither lands, and OC is able to kip up to the delight of the crowd. Garcia runs in and attacks OC from behind. Tag to Darby as Garcia is dancing. Dropkick to Garcia sends him outside. It’s Darby and Sammy in the middle of the ring. Handshake from both. Side headlock. Whip into the ropes and Garcia hits a knee to Darby. Darby with a suicide dive off the ropes. He runs back into the ring and rolls up for a 1..2.NO!! Jackknife for 1..2.NO!!!! Darby tries to run up the ropes, but Garcia trips him up. OC in, dives, Garcia side steps and sends OC onto the barricade. Blind tag to Sammy. He locks the head of Darby and spins for a bit.
We are back and Garcia kicks Darby out of a submission hold he had on Sammy. Sammy whips Darby into the corner, and Darby hits Garci. Running high knee from Sammy. He sits Darby up top. Blind tag from Garcia, Darby shoots Sammy off the corner and hits a bunch of rights then a Code Red. He tries to pin but Garcia is legal. Garcia with a crucifix pin for 1..2….NO!!! Sunset Flip from Darby. Garcia misses an elbow and sends Sammy off the apron. He runs to the opposite corner. OC grabs him, slams his head in th corner, tries again, blocks, sends Garcia into the buckle, crossbody off the top rope. OC with the rope work, tries for a DDT, but Garcia drops him on his back, OC fights him off with the feet, MICHINOKU DRIVER OFF THE ROPES FROM ORANGE CASSIDY!!!! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Orange Punch attempt, but Garcia grabs the arm and tries for a sleeper. OC sends him over the shoulder, Garcia with a Dragon Tamer! Darby is in, so Garcia runs at him with a knee. Palm strike to OC, then a right hand. OC with Stundog Millionaire! Darby hits the same! DDT FRO MOC! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Sammy in to stop the pin. Darby locks. The head from behind, Sammy sends him flying, knee from Sammy. DDT try from Sammy, Sammy tries for a knee ,hits the corner, BEACH BREAK! Garcia in! Crucifix! Pin! 1..2..NO!!! OC tries one! 1…2.NO!!! Garcia tries again! They go back and forth with some pins! Garcia kicks the left side, kick from OC, double kick sends both men down.
We are down to Darby and Sammy as the legal men. They meet in the middle and go rights back and forth. They try to one-up one another in the corner, and end up headbutting each other.
On the outside, Garcia hits a Uranage to OC on the apron!
Darby pulls himself up in the corner, Sammy is in the center, he rushes, gets kicked, Darby dives, but Sammy flies with ak nee! Sammy to the top rope! Sammy dives with a shooting star but lands hard on his arm!!!
Prince Nana is walkng down the ramp as Garcia has OC locked in a Dragon Tamer. Nana hands Garcia the skateboard and he is about to attack OC. Darby holds onto the board, then the ref comes to take the board away. Swerve Strickland comes from the right side of the cam and kicks Darby across the face!!!
Sammy realizes this, lifts Darby onto the shoulders, goes for the GTH! Hits it! Cover! 1..2……3!!!!
Winners: Daniel Garcia and Sammy Guevara
BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 12:55
Cassidy checks on Darby. Darby is up. Sammy is there. They shake hands, then Sammy leaves.
We get a Nick Wayne video package.
We are backstage with Renee and Adam Cole who is asked by a nearby Roderick Strong in a neckbrace, who asks if Cole is acrually starting to like MJF.
MJF sends him a text, says he will not be nearby because he may have the flu. Lol.
MJF and Adam Cole vs Brain Cage and Big Bill
Cole is wearing the team shirt.
We start with MJF and Big Bill. MJF asks who wants to see the body slam. He opts out, tags Cole in, and MJF looks to leave. Cole has to run up to him and talk him into coming back to the match. He is able to convince MJF to come back, and he hops on the apron while Bill tags in Cage. Cole awaits him in the ring. Cage does some pushups and poses to stress how much bigger he is t han Cole. Cole does a few pushups as the crowd chants for him. Lol. Cole with a flex.
Adam Cole gets a chant after the push ups. Tag to MJF. He points to Big Bill. He wants Bill in as the crowd changes chants to MJF. MJF calls for a body slam again. Bill allows him to try. MJF does try. Bill convinces MJF to do some push ups.
MJF sets up, does one, and Big Bill kicks him in the ribs. Hahahaha. Bill sends Cole off the apron. He attacks the face with some rights. Big Bill does some push ups, mockingly.
WE are BACK and Bill has MJF hurting. He rips the shirt off his chest to some big boos. Bill wipes his ass with the shirt and tosses it out of the ring. Cole shows some anger. MJF is angry, as well. Bill with a right, but MJF no sells. He spits and asks for another. GOOZLE! MJF bites the fingers!!!
BODY SLAM TO BIG BILL!!!! MJF and Bill are both down!
Holy shit chant. Tag to Cage. He comes in, drags MJF away from a tag, and hits a cl—no, MJF reverses, tries for a piledriver, but cant do it. Cage grips the waist, tries for a powerbomb, THUMB TO THE EYES!!! Sunset Flip into a tag! Coel in with a kick, another, hits the ropes, Cage catches, up and over, superkick is caught by Cage, thumb to the eye! PUMP KICK!!! Cage is DOWN!!!! MFJ and Cole both say, “DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE” and that gets a chatn. Lol. Whip to Cage, but holds the roeps! Big Bill in! HUGE Clotheslnie to both MJF and Cole! Bill up. GOOZLE TO COLE! TO MJF! Cole and MJF stomp the feet, superkick to the knees, superkicks to the face!
Brian Cage runs with a clothesline to both! He liftsCOle to the shoulders, holds onto MJF>
Cage with a Fallaway slam and Samoan Drop combo! Cage runs the ropes, MJF sends him to the apron, superkick from Cole! Big kick to Bill! HEATSEEKER TO CAGE!!! COLE DROPS THE BOOM!!!
Winner: MJF and Adam Cole
I’m not even sure how to rate this bad boy. There was minimal wrestling, waaay too much stalling, a little too much of trying to be cute, and I loved every second of it. Lol.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:14
Adam Cole and MJF with mics. MJF has one question for the crowd: do we got any devil worshippers in the crowd tonight?
Crowd: “SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!” hahahahaha
MJF says he is super over, but someone else is, too.
Cole gets his shit in, and MJF calls it cool. He shills the shirt, then says they are so close to hitting that double clothesline.
MJF grabs the shirt, tells Cole to talk, and Cole moves his hands, saying they gotta work on their boundaries.
Cole has some story time. He never expected this team to work. Not only has it worked, though, but tey’re doing pretty damned good. He didn’t have high expectations on the team, but he does on winning this tournament, and on July 29th, Collision, if they win, they get a shot at the AEW World Tag Team Championships. IN fact, he promises it. If they stay on the same page, we are looking at the new tag team champs. And why is that, Max?
Backstage, Jake Hager is standing by with his Purple Hat and Renee. Jericho knows he’s coming, so he enters. He asks Jericho if he is actually considering what Don said.
Jericho says he doesn’t know, Don is making a lot of great points. He just needs some time.
Hager removes his hat, and the crowd is all “Whooooaaaaa.”
Ten years ago, Hager saved Jericho’s life. Four years, Jericho brought him to AEW> He left an undefeated MMA career for Jericho. He just wants to know. This isn’t just Jericho’s career on the line, it’s Hager’s too, so until Jericho can be straight with him, he cant give Jericho 100.
He hands Jericho his purple hat.
Owen Hart Cup Semi-Finals Match
Skye Blue vs Ruby Soho
Ruby slams Skye to start. She retaliates by slapping her back and sending her into the corner face first. Skye runs the corner, gets sent onto the apron. Toni Storm is there to distract the ref. Ruby cohkes up Sky, Skye drops and hangs Ruby up, then runs to kick Toni in the chest. Ruby dives through and Sky kicks her. She gets a half nelson from behind. Ruby elbows out, Skye drops Ruby face first into the apron. Skye pushes Ruby into the ring. Toni just shoves Skye knee first into the steps.
The ref kicks Toni and Saraya to the back.
Ruby sends Skye into the steps then drives the knee into the side of the steps a few times.
We return to both girls fighting on the apron. They exchyange right hands. Kick from Skye is blocked. Ruby with a knee. Skye with a kick! Ruby rolls to h center of the ring, Sky dives off the 2nd rope, hurts her knee, hits a right, Ruby swings, blocked, right from Skye, another, another harder elbow strike. Knee to Ruby, but it’s the bad knee. Neckbreaker to Ruby! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Skye misses a hit, gets caught up on the ropes, kick from Ruby. She tries for Destination Unknown, but Skye escapes, kicks, tries for Code Blue, but Ruby drops her and works the knee. She gets Skye to her belly. Ruby pulls back on the knee, with a half crab. Skye reaches the bottom rope! Ruby holds on till 4. Skye wouth a double underhook, spins Ruby onto her face and covers for 1..2…NO!!!! Ruby holds her nose.
Skye to the top rope again. Ruby hits the ropes. Skye stumbles. NO FUTURE OFF THE 2ND ROPE! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Ruby Soho
A much better outing for Skye than I’ve seen previously. Ruby winning makes sense.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:46
A recap of Collision.
We are backstage with QT, Solow, and that chick they been rollin with. Apparnetly, they got a music video for us.
It’s….about as Iggy as Azalea can get.
Swerve Strickland vs Nick Wayne
LOCKUP! Swerve corners Nick playfully slaps him. Nick reverses then does the same. Rope work and Swerve snapmarees then turns this into a pin for 1..2.NO!!! Half underhook. Swerve dives through the legs, sunset flip attempt from Wayne, Swerve smacks the hands then locks fingers. Nick kicks him up, flies to the top rope, kicks Swerve away, tries for a Code Red, each men looking to best the other, neither one gets it, and both lookin good in a stalemate.
Swerve kicks Wayne in the face. We get a Fisherman’s from Nick into a pin for 1…NO! Nick with an elbow to the face, Nana distracts, and Young sends Swerve over the to prope. Nick to the apron, to the 2nd rope, looks to dive, Swerve catches him. Firemans. Nick elbows out, rana from the apron down to the mat outside!!!
We back, baby, and Swerve has a sleeper locked in. Nick breaks it, Swerve hits him with a right to th face, another. A nother. Chop to Swerve. Nick grabs the tights, Swerve breaks the hold, Nick with a left hand to the chin. Swerve hits the ropes, Shotgun dropkick from Nick. He rushe the corner, kick from Swerve, caught, high kick rolls Swerve, springboard CUTTER! HOLDS ON! Standing blockbuster! Nick flies, Swerve catches in a fireman’s. Torture rack slam then a backbreaker. Swerve slaps Nick around a bit. Swerve sits ihm up oin the top rope, slaps the back of his head a few times.
Darby is on the top of the ramp! He yells to encourage Nick. Nick swings, hits a right, turns to face Swerve, POISON RANA OFF THE TOP!!! Diving CUTTER OFF THE @ND ROPE!!!! COVER! 1..2…….NO!!!!! Foot on the rope! Swerve climbs to the top rope. Nick Wayne climns the top rope. HE DIVES OFF FOR ANOTHER RANA BUT SWERVE TURNS IT INTO A POWERBOMB!!! Last Call kick to the back of the head! Cover! 1..2….. NO!!!!! Swerve locks the arms up, pulls back on it, stares at Darby, then steps on the left arm, bending it allll the way back! It looks wild.
Nick yells to the ref his arm is hurt. Swerve captures him. JML DRIVER! Cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winner: Swerve Strickland
A great debut for the young guy. Nowhere to go but up, sir.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:17
Swerve dogs Nick’s momma before leaving to the back.
We get a video package of what Lance Archer has been doin over in Japan. He is back to Rampage this Friday.
Don Callis is here, and he’s got something to say. He has a very important announcement. This fifth member will slaughter The Elite, and on one is more deserving of this abuse than Kenny Omega. He is a coward and a punk.
Kenny Omega’s music hits! He’s here!
He makes his way down the ring, but Jon Moxley and Takeshita are waiting for him! They attack Omega. Omega fights them away, and from out of nowhere….
PAC!!!
He attacks Omega! Moxley and Takeshita help him out! They hold Omega down. Don with a kick to the head of Omega. Takeshita stomps Omega out.
Pac with a mic. Says Omega has no idea how long he’s waited for this. He shattered his nose bone and stole his championship dreams. He is the fifth member, and now Omega pays the price.
Takeshita and Moxley locks Omega’s head up in a chair. Pac to the top rope. Moxley asks if he has any last words.
Omega says yeah, they still have a fifth. Check the screen, you idiots.
Everything goes black.
We are back on with a video that says, “He is coming.”
It’s Kota Ibushi!
The Golden Elite are here!
Th Bucks are here! SUPERKICKS! Buckshot to Moxley and Takeshit!
Omega says next week, Blood and Guts, this is more than about family, heart, passion, soul, friendship, love, people like BCC consumed with rage will never prosper. Callis will never win this battle. Next week, they will find out the hard way that barbed wire and skewers in th head are nothing compared to what they will do to them. When all five men are down, Kenny is coming for Don.
Kenny tells us goodbye and goodnight, and we…
End Show
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