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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 9.16.20

September 16, 2020 | Posted by Tony Acero
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Acero’s AEW Dynamite Review 9.16.20  

Keep Refreshing For The Latest AEW Dynamite Results


Yo! It’s MJF’s gum guy, and I’m here to give you the most unjaded, least cynical approach to all things wrestling!

*crickets*

Welp…


We are starting off strong with Jurassic Express already in the ring. They await FTR for the opening contest.

Instead, The Young Bucks come out. They head to the ref and SUPERKICK THE REF!!!

Young Bucks head to the back, and we follow them. They head to Tony Khan, the man who pays my bills, and hands him over a stack of money.


Match 1: FTR vs Jurassic Express

Jungle and Cash to start. Cash works the arm, then tags in Dax. Jungle works himself out, takes down Dax, covers for 1..2..NO!!! Arm drag from Jungle. Dax turns into it. Tag is missed by both. Lucha gets one! Dax backs into his corner and asks for a pause. We get a distraction and Cash is able to attack Lucha from behind. Tag to Dax and they whip Lucha, who hits a clothesline to Cash, then on e to Dax. Dax in the corner, Lucha blocks with a knee. He heads to the top rope. Dive and Lucha turns it into a powerslam for 1..2…NO!!!! Right hand to Dax in the corner. Tag to Jungle. Boy up top and Lucha hits a body slam. Jungle Boy bounces off the shoulders with a senton onto Dax. Cover for 1.2….NO!!! Jungle works the left arm. Dax escsapes. Tag. Rope work, Jungle Boy hops up, POWERSLAM from Cash! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Cash with the Bow and Arrow Submission! Cash keeps his shoulders up. Tag to Dax. Kick to the ribs. Suplex. Leg drop. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Fireman’s. Tag to Cash. Cash lends a knee, and Dax drops him on it. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Cash with the abdominal stretch. Cash turns Jungle Boy towards Lucha so he can see his friend. Chop to the chest. Jungle is able to arm drag out of it, but Cash gets him to the corner. Elbow to Dax. He junps up, Cash catches him, tag from Dax, assisted front suplex. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Cash stomps the ankle. He sends Jungle to the ropes, Jungle holds on, Cash hops up with a adropkick, Jungle Boy moves, and Wheeler bounces off the ropes the hard way! Tag to Dax, who comes in to stop the tag! Clothesline from Jungle Boy! TAG TO LUCHA!!! He’s iun! Clothesline to Cash. Right to Dax, chop to Cash! Kick to Dax, out the corner with a double clothesline! Fireman’s to Cash. He tosses him INTO DAX! GOOZLE!!! CHOKESLAM!!!! Standing Moonsault! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Lucha misses a splash in the corner. Tag to Dax. An attempt at a suplex, Jungle Boy with a tag. Tail whip to Cash and Dax. Dax in the center on his knees. Spinning kick from Lucha. Clothesline to the back of the head! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Dax in for a suplex, but Jungle Boy turns and lands into a pin for 1..2..NO!!! Dax lifts him and just slams him down dirty. Both men down.

Tag to Cash. Knee strike from Jungle Boy. Tag to Dax. Crucifix Pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Up on the shoulders, roll up from Jungle for 1..2..NO!!! Dax kicks Jungle Boy, sends him into the corner, and he flies out to the apron. Kick to Dax! Top rope! Jungle flies! Crossbody but Dac turns it. Pin for 1..2..NO!!!!! Reverse into a pin from Jungle for 1..2..NO!!! Wheeler in!! Lucha enters, gets kicked and no sells it. Right hand from Cash and Lucha ain’t havin it. GOOZLE!!! Dax attacks from behind, sendin Lucha outside. Rollup from Jungle Boy! 1…2…NO!!! Uppercut from Dax. Another. Jungle tries for one, hook up from behind, Inside Cradle from Jungle Boy!!! Pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Lucha flies on the outside, butCash moves!!! He dives over the barricade into the crowd!!! SUICIDE DIVE FROM JUNGLE BOY!!! He’s back on the apron, sends Dax into the corner. Shoulder, he flies in for a Sunset Bomb but Dax holds on.

Rollup from Jungle Boy for 1..2…NO!!! Dax shifts the weight. 1..2…CASH LOCKS HIS HANDS WITH DAX…3!!!!!!

Winner:
HOLY SHIT! That was GOOD! So good! EVERYTHING Cash did was so fucking good, and Dax is just a machine. Jungle Boy can take an ass whooping, but he also showed his skill here, and Lucha had himself a solid hot tag. I’m not exaggerating when I say this is everything a good match entails. And who among us thought Jurassic Express was going to win? Moreover, who thought they’d win with a rollup?! Maybe I’m fanboying right now, but I don’t care, that was amazing.
Total Rating: ****1/2
Match Time: 12:08

Backstage, Marvez is updating us all on Matt Hardy, who is laid out on the floor holding his knee. Private Party is there to help him. In comes Jericho and Hager. Jericho tells him it’s swollen, looks terrible, maybe he’ll have to amputate. Hager tells him to put ice on it.

We return to AEW, and Kenny Omega is on commentary.


Match 2: Frankie Kazarian vs Hangman Adam Page

Lockup to start as Omega reinstates that his focus is singles competition. Page gets Kaz into the corner. Ref breaks it up. Takedown into a front headlock. They stand, Page lifts him, Kaz rolls him up for 1..2..NO!!! Drop toe hold and Kaz with a cravat. Page stands and hits the abs, knee from Kaz. Another, swinging neckbreaker, and Kaz holds on. Page escapes, hits the ropes, knee from Page, Page catches Kaz and slams him down with a body slam. Chop to the chest. Another chop. Right hand from kaz. Chop to Page. Page reverses. Chop in the corner. Short arm chop from Page. Page with a suplex, and Kaz rolls into the corner. Page stands and grabs the legs of Kaz, pulling, and Kaz stands. Right hand. Chop to the chest. Another right. Right to the face. Whip to Page, Page hits the corner. Kaz flies over the top rope to the apron, Page bounces off the 2nd buckle with a clothesline. Page flies over the top rope to the outside onto Kaz!

Page with a right hand then he sends Kaz into the ring. Page to the apron. Kaz misses a right hand, Page tries to enter through the ropes, but Kaz hits a leg drop, hits the corner, and a flying leg drop to Page hanging off the roeps! Kaz whips to the corner, bounces off the ropes, and hits a sick ass running Side Russian Leg Sweep. Kaz shoves the face of Page, Page shoves him, Kaz lifts, Page drops his weight, Kaz tries for a suplex, Page locks the leg, Kaz clubs the back a few times, hooks the leg. Fisherman’s into a pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Front faced headlock. Page is able to get to his knee, attack the mid section. Kaz continues to club the back, trying to drop Page. Page with right hands. He escapes the hold. Kaz with a right. Page with one of his own. Kaz with another. Page with a forearm. Another. Another. He rusn the ropes, but Kaz is there to hit him with an elbow immediately!!! He hits the ropes, and Page hits his own elbow! Page runs the ropes again, and they both collide in the middle of the ring. Nother clothesline from each. Page misses, Kaz locks up, GERMAN! Page lands on his feet! He ducks a clothesline, hits the ropes. Clothesline to Kaz! Right forearem from Page. Another right. Another to the cheek. Whip to Kaz. Kaz with a kick out of the corner. Kaz on the 2nd, hopes back, but Page catches him. Fallaway Slam! Standing Shooting Star Press. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Kaz kicks out of the corner, Kaz with an elbow, he scapes onto the apron, Pge tries for another flying clothesline, Kaz scouts it, SPIKE DDT TO PAGE!!! Kaz tries for an Unprettier, Page shoves him, Kaz with a backslide, Page turns into it, hooks the arms himself, wants his own backslide, tosses Kaz over his head, Kaz escapes, hits it!!! UNPRETTIER! COVER FOR 1..2…..NO!!!! Sliding clothesline from Page. Pumphandle onto the shoulders, and slams him down with a Death Valley Driver. Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Page gets sent to the apron. He springboards. KAZ WITH A CUTTER!!!! Cover for 1…2…NO!!!! Scoop and a slam from Kaz. He it’s the ropes, springboard, Page catches, SIT OUT POWERBOMB! Pin for 1…2….NO!!!!

Page on the apron, wants the Buck Shot, Kaz slides under him, Page back flips onto the floor, Kaz hits him with. Right. He sends Page into the ring, Page flies back out and hits a hard clothesline. He sends Kaz into the ring, Page tries to kick, right hand from Kaz. Headbutt.

Kick from the outside to Kaz. Kaz goes for another leg drop, Kaz rolls away, BUCK SHOT!!! Pin for 1…2….3!!!

Winner: Hangman Adam Page
Holy shit! Y’all ain’t playin today! What a gem. Omega coming out even though he’s only interested in single’s competition was a little weird, but made it all the more sad to see Page looking for him after his win. Unfortunately, my phone decided to upgrade to the new iOS, so my timer isn’t accurate, but I’m pretty sure we hit about 12-13 minute range.
Total Rating: ****1/4
Match Time: Approx 13 minutes

My guy MJF is here, and he’s got the gum I gave him earlier! MJF heads ringside and asks for kisses from people, but doesn’t get much love.


Match 3: MJF vs Shawn Dean

Poke to the eye! MJF with SALT OF THE EARTH! Dean taps. Match is over.

Winner: Jon Moxley
Not always a fan of squash matches, this was one of those times. I feel like the segment afterwards would have been just as effective without this.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: One Wes Kirk stint

Wardlow kicks Dean out of the ring.

MJF asks for a mic, says he’s a very honest man. Moxley is not. He cheated. Right now, MJF should be undefeated. He should be AEW Champion. Since he SHOULD be undefeated, and should be the champ, we are to refer to him as “MJF: The Undefeated, Undisputed, Uncrowned AEW World Champion of AEW Wrestling.” He then asks Robert ot announce his new title now, to the whole world.

MJF says he will never get a fair shake here, since he is not a part of a stable. It’s like there’s a new one every week. He’s always been a lone wolf, but maybe it’s about time he joined a Wolfpack. Maybe this wolf should be alone no more.

Love Wardlow’s facial expressions here, as he’s like….dafuq am I?

MJF says at the end of the day, he’s still better than us, and we know it.

Tazz is here to analyze Ricky Starks and his moveset.

IN other news, I ordered his shirt, and I can’t wait to wonder why Vanessa is sleeping in it every night…

Kingston is here with his buddies! He tells Butcher and Blade to head out of the ring. Kingston has three points. 1) He never lost the Battle Royal. 2) They are a family; not a stable, or a faction, but a family. They are a family of violence. Agents of chaos. He asks Butcher and Blade to find a victim. They grab some dudes from the crowd, toss a blue haired dude into the ring.

Pentagon and Rey hit superkicks to the kid, then Penta drops Rey onto him splash style. Butcher nad Blade send the other two into the ring and they destroy him. Finally, some offense to the third guy, and they clear the ring. Eddie says they have everything in order.

His third point now.

He turns to Blade, says he’s gotta get his house in order.

They hold hands high in the center of the ring, then leave.


Match 4: Private Party vs Chris Jericho and Jake Hager

Quen and Hager to start. Lockup and Hager shoves Quen down hard. Wasitlock but Hager elbows out. Tag to Kassidy, Quen drop toe holds, but Hager won’t go down, so Kasssidy comes into to bulldog him. Jericho on the apron, punches Kassidy. Quen hops onto the back of Kass and leg lariats Jericho down. Private Party hit the ropes, stereo suicide dives. They beat down Jericho and Hager on their respective sides. Hager rolls into the ring, Kassidy shoots himself into.a flip onto Hager, covers for 1..NO!! Tag to Kassidy, goes for a suplex, they both hit it. Cover for 1…2…NO!!!! Headlock, Hager shoots Quen off, Big Boot to the face. Hager grabs the leg, tags in Jericho. Chop to Quen against the ropes. Another chop. Whip and Quen bounces off, only for Jericho to shoot him down hard. Jericho toys with Quen, kicking him in the face. Back suplex. Cover for 1..NO! Tag to Hager. Hager with some rights to the body. A few more, then one to the head. Quen tumbles through the ropes down to the apron. He tries to fight back, but Hager ain’t havin it. Hager sends Quen to the corner, kick from Quen, hops to the 2nd rope, dropkick off of it! Tag! Tag to Jericho! Springboard seated senton. Dropkick to Hager. Springboard moonsault and a cover for 1..2…NO!!! Holy shit, that was close. Kassidy rushes the corner, right elbow. Jericho to his knee. Kassidy goes for a springboard, but Hager has the bat!!! He slaps Kassidy one hard on the leg! Jericho baseball slides him to the outside. Hager hops down off the apron and attacks, sending Kassidy into the post as Knox is distracted.

Jericho hops down to the outside, grabs Kassidy, and rolls him inside. Tag to Hager. He clips the leg, whips to the corner back first. Hager cheers Jericho with a lil bit of the bubbly. Hager drives a knee to the back of Kassidy, choking him up. Knox holds Hager back, and Jericho kicks Kassidy. Hager with a cravat from behind. Right hand to the face. Hager drives a knee. Another cravat. Kassidy stands out, hits an elbow, right to Jericho, runs for a tag, Hager catches him and slams him down hard. Hager punches Quen off the apron. Kassidy locks the head, using the ropes for leverage, up comes Quen, Silly String to Hager! Tag to Jericho. Tag to Quen. Clothesline to Jericho, Manhattan Drop. Dropkick to Jericho. One to Hager, kip up, over the top plancha!!!! Springboard crossbody to Jericho! Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Tag to Kassidy. Poetry in Motion to Jericho! Kassidy shows some back pain. Neckbreaker and a footstomp!! Kassidy covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Kassidy hurts Jericho in the corner, Hager runs to stop him, Kassidy moves, Hager hits Jericho. Kassidy runs from the corner, Hager shoots him up, Kasidy lands on Jericho’s shoulders. Hurricanrana off the top rope! Quen sends Hager over the ropes to the outside! Pin to Jericho for 1..2..NO!!!! Kassidy beats Jericho down against the ropes, Kassidy ducks the Judas Effect. Rollup for 1..2….NO!!!!!!!

Springboard Cutter from Kassidy! Kassidy to the top rope. Senton! Jericho moves! Kassidy eats shit! JUDAS EFFECT! Pin for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Chris Jericho and Jake Hager

Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 12:59

Jericho mounts Kassidy and hits a few punches, then locks the legs and gets a Walls of Jericho for good measure!

Quen is in the ring. PELE KICK TO JERICHO!!! Hager pulls Jericho out.


Match 5: NWA Women’s Championship
Ivelisse vs Thunder Rosa

Ive shoves before the bell, it rings, and Thunder tries for some strikes. Ive catches a kick, arm drag to Ive, one for Thunder, they both go back for a pull, Ive shoots the leg, no go. Right, blocked, and the girls go head to head. Ive slaps the makeup off of Thunder, fakes another one, and pushes Rosa’s face. Thunder hits Ive right in the face. Chop to the chest from Rosa. She runs up the corner, walks the ropes, arm drag to Ive. Ive misses a clothesline, Rosa with a hurricanrana. Ive kicks her in the gut, chop to the chest, rope work into n arm drag from Ivelisse. Rosa sends her to the corner, Ive kicks out of it, 2nd rope, hurricanrana, with a sick head grab tied into it. Rosa with a hell of a dropkick to Ive. Rosa with a hard elbow to the corner. Ive seated in the corner. Rosa with a running kick to the face. Cover for 1..2..N!O!!!! Gory special! Diamante on the apron to distract, Ive rolls Rosa out of the hold, running knee strike. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Rosa rolls to the outside. Ive follows. Running kick to the face. Kick from Rosa on the outside. She sends Ive into the apron, chops the chest, right in front of Hikaru. Chop from Ive. Uppercut from Rosa. She enters the ropes to break the count. Ive drives her into the apron, then seats her on the apron and rolls her into the ring. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Cravat from above, and Ive has Rosa in the center of the ring. Knees from Rosa, and she reverses into an arm lock! She’s looking for a crossface maybe, but Ive turns on her back, and Rosa covers for 1..2…NO!!! Elbow drop to the head, again, locks the head, Ive drives some rights ot the back. Roll into the corner. Rosa with an uppercut. Snapmare. Full Nelson on the ground. Ive escapes, hits a knee, then locks in a Sleeper from behind! Rosa pushes back into a pin for 1..NO! Ive adds some leg scissors. Rosa tries for the hair, turns into the hold, hits a punch to the stomach, again, one ot the face, another, knee from Ive! Another knee! Rosa drops to her knees. Ive kicks her in the chest. Another kick, but it’s caught! Dragon Screw! The girls go back and forth. Rosa gets the upperhand. She flips out of the corner and runs with a clothesline!! Slides through te ropes, to the top rope, swings some knees into the chest!!! Kick to the chest of Ive. Rosa hits the ropes, running dropkick to Ivelisse!!!! Coer for 1..2…NO!!!! Ive shoves Rosa, butterfly into a Tiger Driver! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Ive with a snapmare attempt, but Rosa with a side Russian Leg Sweep. She holds on. CROSSFACE!!!!! Ive gets to the ropes, gets pulled up, lands on her feet, hits the mid, hops to the 2nd rope on the apron, but Rosa is there to hit an elbow. DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! 1…2…NO!!! Rosa lifts, Ive lands on her feet, hits an elbow, snpamare, Ive rolls through with her, kick to the face. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Ive hits the ropes, Rosa follows, hits ak nee!

Ive lands on her feet off a float over, hits a knee, then the ropes, Rosa catches her, spins, TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! 1…2…..Ive lifts her leg…..3!!!!!

Winner: Thunder Rosa
Y’all, I can’t breathe. This was a thing of beauty. Trying not to overrate it based off the momentum of the first few matches, but the fact is this thing was beautiful on its own. Arguably more hard hitting than most men matches on RAW.
Total Rating: ***3/4
Match Time: 9:33

Rosa celebrates, and Diamante attacks form behind!!! She kicks Rosa out of the ring. Ive holds the title up in the air. Shida enters the ring, kicks Ive, then sends Diamante into Ive!!!! Hikaru grabs the NWA Title as Rosa enters the ring. Shida hands over the title and gives Rosa some props.

Miro and Kip are somewhere working out. Miro wants to just get in the ring to kill someone. Kip says they have some work to do first. Miro says yes, they will have the best bachelor party – much better than their game on Warzone. Lol. They argue over loadouts.

We are BACK, and Lance Archer runs out. He gtabs a masked dude and sends him into the ring, then chokeslams him.

Jake says this is a proper re-entrance. He has a question; would you exchange all your pleasure for some pain? Aren’t they the same? He thinks so. They believe so. Sometimes in wrestling, movies, or politics, you get yourself in bed with someone you may not go to bed with. This is what we find ourselves doing right now. Lance isn’t happy, but sometimes you need money or info or a way out. For them, they need tag team partners. So if Jake is going to lay in bed with the devil, he just as soon do it with the Tazmanian Devil.

Tazz comes out, says Team Tazz is happy to do business with them two. Like he discussed, the trio of Starks, Cage, and Archer is a deadly one. Last thing he’ll say; they have a deal, that when Archer beats Moxley, Cage is up next.

Archer tells Tazz to understand that he and his boys are enemies of his enemy, and that makes them friendly, but come 10/14, when he drops Moxley, AEW wil have a killer new champion, and he doesn’t care how much Kingston whines and cries, the monster and the machine will go GODZILLA on Daly’s Place.

Gawd Damn….

Uh oh….Moxley is here.

He comes out from the stage area, but a fan grabs Moxley! It’s Starks!!! Cage flies from the left and attacks!!! Starks and Cage gang up on Moxley, sending him into a road case, and I finally know what the fuck to call those things.

HOBBS of all people run up the ramp with a chair and swing the chair like crazy, trying to get Cage and Starks.

MOXLEY with the mic. Hell of a team Jake’s got there, says Jon. He wants to introduce us to Oakland’s most violent; Real Power, Real Hobbs. They need a third; so how about Jon calls on DARBY! He screams to the TV that Darby better get his ass to Jacksonville next week; because they are going to war.

We head backstage for the Parking Lot Fight. We’re in the middle of a circle of cars, with some wrestlers all around.

Santana and Ortiz are wearing white face paint. Nice.


Match 6: Santana and Ortiz vs The Best Friends

They brawl to start, Santana and Chuck, then Trent and Ortiz. Chuck sends Santana into a side view mirror, ouch. Trent has the hood of a car up, and lays Ortiz on the engine. He slams the hood onto Ortiz a few times!!! Holy shit. Chuck to the roof! Swanton to Ortiz!!!! Trent to the roof! SENTON TO THE ROOF!!!! Trent grabs Ortiz as Chuck heads to a pickup truck full of flat pieces of wood and dry wall. They grab a sheet of plywood and bridge it over the bed of the truck. Trent drops a piece of wood onto the back of Ortiz. Ortiz with right hands on his knees. Trent hits a right hand. Santana is finally up and Chuck sends him into the hood of a red car. Trent fights Ortiz. Santana grabs a baton from on top of a tire, as he likely hid it there. He attacks Chuck, then hits Trent with it one time. Santana is bleeding. Santana catapults Trent into the door of the truck bed!!!

Orti has a sledgehammer! He throws it at Chuck! Chuck moves! It goes through the window! Holy fuck. Chuck sends Ortiz into a trash can. He sends Ortiz into the trunk. Chuck to the top of the car, he drags Ortiz up onto it as well. Ortiz locks up the head and suplexes Chuck onto the hood of the car!!! IT SHATTERS THE BACK WINDOW!!!! COVER!!!! 1….2….NO!!!!! Ortiz grabs a trash can, tosses it on huck. Trent is here to grab Ortiz and send him into the hood.

Ortiz sets up some dry board, tries to powerbomb Trent, Trent lands on his feet. SPEAR INTO THE DRY BOARD AND ORTIZ!!! We got blood suqirtin from the elbow of Ortiz! Santana has Chuck near the hood of the car Trent just speared Ortiz into. He smashes what is a DOOR, not Dry Board, into Chuck! Santana attacks the back of the head hard with some rights. Santana sends Chuck into the hood. Back Suplex to Santana onto the hood!!! Ortiz has a huge metal dust pan! He smacks Trent in the face! He tries to get Chuck, but Chuck sends him to the hood of the car! Chuck grabs a barricade nearby and leans it up against the car. Ortiz tries to fight with some right,s locks up for a suplex, Chuck blocks. SUPLEX ONTO THE BARRICADE!!!! Chuck grabs the hair of Ortiz. Santana grabs a long piece of wood and smacks Chuck across the back. Trent sends Santana onto the hood of an Acura. He beats his forehead over and over with punches. Chuck comes to Trent and tells him to handle Ortiz. Trent walks the car, grbs Ortiz. LOW BLOW!!!! He locks up. POWERBOMB TO THE HOOD OF THE CAR!!!! Trent slides down the window onto the floor. Santana barks orders, tells Ortiz they’re gonna kill him. They lift Trent POWERBOMB ONTO THE WINDOW OF THE CAR!!!!!!!!!! Trent rolls over, and there is glass all over his bck!!!
Chuck is up! He has a large piece of wood and smacks Ortiz on the back with it! He runs to Santana. BACK BODY DROP TO CHUCK ONTO TRASH CANS!!!!

Trent’s back is COVERED in blood. Ortiz with some wood, chokes Trent up. He punches the head, Satnana fights Chuck away. Another wood smack to the back of Trent. Trent tries to stand, gets a right hand ot the face. Santana grabs Chuck, says this was the biggest mistake of his fucking life. Right hands to Chuck over and over and over. He is beating the shit out of Chuck. Holy shit. Knox considers calling it, but he can’t stop the fight. Pinfall or Submission. Santana grabs a lead pipe. He slaps it against the cement a bit.

ORANGE CASSIDY!!!!! HE’S IN THE TRUNK!!!! SUPERMAN PUNCH!!!!! HE’S GOT A CHAIN ON HIS FIST!!!! HE GRABS SANTANA AND LIFTS!

Orange walks Santana over to Chuck. Ortiz has Trent. PILEDRIVER TO SANTANA!!!!!!

Trent has Ortiz on his back, head near his crotch. They are standing on the wooden plank on the truck. He grabs the legs and we get The Crunchy! Pin for 1..2….3!!!!

Winners: The Best Friends
It has been so long since we’ve seen a match with this type of violence that didn’t look artificial or staged or withholding. Everything about this was brutal, made sense, and was vicious. I think, for the credibility of Santana and Ortiz, they maybe could have done with a win, but a chain covered fist from the best technical wrestler in the world to cap it all off just….wow.
Total Rating: ****1/2
Match Time:13:01

Orange walks The Best Friends to the mini-van. Sue is here!!! She drives them away! Chuck looks out the back window with a smile. They drive away, Sue stops driving. She ejects her hand out the window and FLIPS OFF SANTANA AND ORTIZ!!!!

This was the greatest episode of wrestling I’ve ever reviewed.

End Show

10.0
The final score: review Virtually Perfect
The 411
I have to admit, that often times, I go into a show with a blank slate, a 10/10 if you will, and a show gradually loses points as it goes on. I then take the show as a whole, compare it to itself, and give a rough average of those factors. Often times, I find my ratings to be a very "in the moment" number, and rarely do I take them seriously, but I want to make this VERY CLEAR that today, I mean every single solitary point I gave to this show, because it was the best two hours of wrestling that I have seen in YEARS! EVERYTHING MATTERED. EVERYTHING. Truly the only thing that I could even begin to complain about is not buying The Young Bucks as they are presented, but I know that's just a personal preference more than anything. I also wasn't a fan of an MJF squash, as I felt without it, nothing was lost, but again, I'm one of the few who just detests squash matches. As a wrestling fan, you got tag team wrestling, cocky and arrogant heel squash, a Jake The Snake Roberts promo with a Pink Floyd reference, a bloody brawl that had months of build, a woman's match that hit hard and hit fast, and just one of the best put together episodes of Dynamite and wrestling in general for that matter. I've been doing this for ten years, and I'm almost positive this is the first time ever I've given this rating. This one's for you, Larry!
legend

article topics :

AEW Dynamite, Tony Acero