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Acero’s WWE RAW Review 2.14.22
Image Credit: WWE
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Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you! I’m so happy you’re spending this love holiday with meeeee!!!!
It’s Monday…you know what that means.
RAW starts with YOUR WWE Champion and MVP to talk about Elimination Chamber. He says Lasley has a 100% chance walking out how he walks in.
Seth Rollins is here to disagree. He tells Bobby he looks great, but not as great as Seth. As of this moment, Lashly is currently the champion, but unfortunately he won’t be for long. Seth doesn’t think any of the other men can beat Lashley, but he does think that he can.
MVP has had a vision; he envisions Seth not making it to the Chamber if he keeps running his mouth.
Riddle rolls out in a toga, and asks Seth if the Elimination Chamber is like one giant quiz bowl. Seth made no such reference. Riddle says the last time he was locked in a tight spot, it was a gas station bathroom. It was brutal. But then, the custodian let him out in the morning, and when he saw the light, he knew he could accomplish anything. He is confident that he will win the match. He wants to be a double champ. He also wants Bobby to wear a toga.
Austin Theory is out next to stop the fun, saying he is sorry to interrupt but Riddle says the party isn’t till later. Theory says Mr. McMahon has taught him a lot of lessons – like expect the unexpected, apologies are just weaknesses. He can’t let Vince down and must win the match.
AJ Styles comes out, as expected, and wonders what Theory is talking about. He isn’t making any sense. AJ is the odds on favorite, says he. He doesn’t want to look back and know that he could have done more to be champion again. So Bobby, no one is going to stop him from having a mania moment. AJ says Riddle’s toga is sweet. Riddle invites him to the toga party tonight.
Lashley is over it. He is the only one here that has won an Elimination Chamber match. Austin is too wet behind the ears, Seth should clearly be able to see that he was losing. Riddle needs to come off the cloud he is on. AJ will not have his Mania moment he hopes and dreams for. As for Brock…
Well, he’s here next. He is all smiles in his cowboy hat and argyle-like sweater. He enters the ring and removes said sweater, then turns and sees Theory. He hangs the jacket and hat on Theory in the corner. Lesnar walks up to Bobby, face to face, MVP holds him back, as Seth talks shit from the side. Theory tries to attack and gets a German for his troubles. F-5 to Theory. Brock lifts Theory and takes a selfie with him.
Backstage, Angelo Dawkins is smiling, completely happy to be here.
He and Ford go over the card for tonight.
Match 1: Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode vs The Street Profits
Ford and Ziggler to start and Ford gets a quick pin. Ciampa is on commentary based on what happened on NXT. Tag to Roode, Ford with a right to Roode then to Ziggler on the apron. Rock bottom from Roode and a cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Ziggler flies over Roode’s head with a leg drop and a cover for 1..2.NO!!! Dawkins stops the pin. Ziggler pulls back on the face, locks up from behind, Ford lands on his feet. Enziguri to Ziggler. Ford tags in Dawkins. Tag to Roode. Dawkins blocks, hits a clothesline, whip to the ropes, reversed, hop over, spinning back elbow. Ziggler in and Dawkins hits a suplex on him. Roode in the corner, Dawkins with a splash, off the ropes, spinebuster from Roode!!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!
Ciampa removes his headphones and claps for Ziggler. Ziggler fakes a superkick, so Ciampa tosses water in his face.
In the ring, Dawkins hits a sky high, then Ford flies off the top from the tag and hits a Frog Splah. Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: The Street Profits
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:47
After the match, Ziggler hits a Superkick to Ciampa, enters the ring, nearly gets a spinebuster, but escapes and heads up the ramp with Roode.
Backstage, Carmella, Zelina, Apollo, Azeez, and a few others are here in togas. Orton isn’t there, but Zelina says this is a party for her. He starts a Broga chant.
Why would Apollo and Azeez even want to be a part of this?
Orton is elsewhere backstage watching this until Kevin comes up to him to ask why he’s not celebrating with Riddle. Orton says he has a match tonight against Rollins tonight. Seth is crafty, there’s a reason why he is The Architect. He knows there is no doubt in his mind that he’s plotting for the Chamber match. Tonight is Monday, tho, and since it’s Monday, Rollins will get hit with an RKO.
Rocky Johnson video package.
Owens has a promo for Texas and Indianapolis. He calls his hometown sophisticated and informed. Texas has nothing but Redneck morons. Here’s an analogy; if North America was a human body, Texas would be its ass. *wink* Howdy Partner.
So Owens getting Stunned?
Match 2: United States Championship Match
Damian Priest vs AJ Styles
Side headlock takedown from AJ into an arm drag from Priest. Another. He holds on and works the arm. AJ turns into it. Priest with a right hand. Priest hits the ropes, AJ hits a chop, another chop. Priest sends him to the ropes and hits a right hand, another, headbutt to AJ and an uppercut in the corner. Right hand to the face. Whip to AJ, kick to the thigh, AJ with a right, a whip is stopped, AJ flies off the ropes, gets caught, and dropped on a knee. Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Priest with a chinlock from behind. Elbow from AJ. Another. Kick from Priest, another, another, right hand and another is bloked, AJ reverses and does his flurry just like last week. Clothesline in the corner, snapmare, hits the ropes, and AJ hits a low forearm. Priest with a DDT to AJ. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!
AJ up, hits a clothesline hard enough to send Priest to the outside. He grabs the ropes, flies over and lands on the apron. Priest pulls the le out, GOOZLE!!!! Chokeslam attempt, AJ lands on his feet, kicks pRiest, Priest dodges a kick, spinning leg trip to the shins of AJ. Aj lands on his shoulder on the apron. Priest in the ring. He pulls AJ up. AJ with a right hand.Another, misses one, Priest tries to kick, AJ side steps, punch, Priest with a boot to the face.
Priest hits the ropes, AJ to the springboard, goes for a forearm, AJ rolls through, Priest grabs him by the hips, rollup for 1..2….3!!!!
Winner: Damian Priest
I rarely use terms like 50/50 booking or assume I know what happens in the writing room, but this was last week’s match, truncated – down to certain moments that were exactly the same. This all leading to giving Priest his win back for the sake of…giving him his win back? Just sees pointless.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 4:32
We head to Bliss, who is looking more and more like her “normal self.” She says life is good; she is happy. The doctor has a gift for her. When she hears gift, what would she ask for? Bliss wants the music to stop. He has another gift for her. It’s the pieces of Lily. He wants her to be at peace. Bliss seemingly struggles with this, She shakes it off, smiles, and he hands her one more thing – a replica Lily. He says he has an idea, as we zoom into the back of Lily, which has a zipper, eliminating any type of subtley they may be trying for.
Omos is back, and lord did I not miss him.
Match 3: Omos vs The Hurt Business
Lol. Cedric tries to sneak attack, but Omos palms his head and shoves him to the corner hard. Shelton tags in with some trepidation. He distracts so that Cedric grabs the boot and Shelton enters to attack. Right hands, whip is stopped. Omos is upset, pulls Shelton in, then sends him into the corner hard.
Back elbow is missed, Shelton runs up with a knee, tag to Cedric, Omos shoves Shelton, Cedric springboards, gets caught with a GOOZLE! Big Boot to Shelton, Tree Slam to Cedric. Cover for 1..2…3!!!!
Winner: Omos
-yawn-
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:28
Last week, Reggie got Friendzoned.
This week, he and Dana are out to dinner. Tamina and Akira are in disguise at another table.
Who is ready for a contract signing?
Pearce is in the ring, and he invites Lita out.
Becky is out next, but she is a sad panda.
Lita seems a bit confused. Pearce wants to make this official but Becky tells her not to do this. Lita doesn’t have to do this. She’ll be honest, Becky has lost sleep. Her teenage idol trying to take her title so close to Mania, idol who attacked her last week. Lita has had a great career, one of the best. There would be no Becky without Lita. Leave now while her legacy is intact. Only those who are demented want to see this match. They don’t need to play our little game. They don’t get to decide our destiny. Don’t let them do this to us.
Lita polls the crowd. She did not come this far just to walk away. She didn’t come here because she has just “one good match” left in her; she has a whole damne run – a Championship run. She knows Becky is scared, because she saw last week that Lita’s still got what it takes. This match is happening.
Lita signs.
Becky says Lita is pushing her. She has studied Lita’s career closer than anyone, and she knows all of her weaknesses, and don’t think that she isn’t afraid to go straight for her neck. Lita will be the one who made her do it. When she is done with Lita, they’ll remember her with a tear in her eye.
Lita says that without Lita there would be no Becky, but if Lita had a hand in creating Becky – it’s on her to finish it. The only thing that will be ending on Saturday, is Becky’s reign, when she becomes the champion.
Becky tosses the contract like a baby, and walks out of the ring angry.
Match 4: Gauntlet Match
(Winner enters Elimination Chamber Match last)
Rhea Ripley vs Nikki A.S.H. vs Liv Morgan vs Piper Niven vs Bianca Belair
Rhea and Nikki to start,but we get a commercial break immediately, so PIP is at play here.
We come back and Nikki shoves Rhea down hard and covers. 1..2..NO!!! Nikki works the arm behind Rhea’s head, Nikki with a takedown. Cover for 1..NO! Rhea turns into Nikki’s hold, hits a snapmare, corners Nikki, Nikki kicks the leg then sends Rhea’s face into the buckle a few times. Rhea tries to kick Nikki away. Nikki kicks her back, gives her a boot to the neck. Rhea attacks the midsection, right hand, another, kick from Nikki. A cravat from Nikki. Rhea hits a right, another, turns into the hold, tries for a back suplex, hits a short arm clothesline, another. Waist lock and a slam to Nikki, face first. Rhea lifts nIkki, sets up for Riptide, Nikki floats over, hits a right to the back of the head. Nikki tries to climb the corner, Nikki stops her, kicks her in the face, clims to the top, flies off the 2nd, crossbody, but Rhea catches her and dorps Nikki sloppily, then hits a Rip Tide! Cover for 1..2…3 at 7:28
Liv Morgan is out next.
We are back and the match officially begins. Liv tries for a backslide and gets 1. Cradle for 1. Rhea kicks her away into the orner. Liv hops over, rolls Rhea up again, gets a 1. Dropkick to Rhea. Liv with a back elbow, rolls out, runs with a high knee. Snapmare into a cover for 1….2.NO! Liv with a cravat in the center. Liv hops on the back of Rhea, Rhea backs her into the corner, snapmare toss to Liv. Liv misses a right Rhea drops her off the top of her shoulders! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Rhea is able to hit another Rip Tide to finish off Liv at 4:11.
Piper Niven is out next!
Lockup to start. Rhea slowly backs her into the corner, but Piper comes back wit more energy, until Rhea corners her, reversal and the ref counts them apart as Piper gets a side headlock. Right hand from Rhea. Another. Another. Shove to the ropes, Piper hits a shoulder tackle, and Rhea does NOT go down. Rhea hits the ropes, tries for a tackle, but Piper doesn’t budge. Piper fakes one, goes fo ra right, Rhea ducks, hits the ropes, shoulder tackle and Piper goes don!!! Headbutt from piper. Rhea with aheaedbutt, misses a right, Saito suplex from Piper! Huge senton to Rhea. Cover for 1..NO!!! Kick to Rhea. Piper sends the head directly into the buckle. Right hand to th chest of Rhea. Piper locks the head. Headbutt to Rhea. She clips the arm, then headbutts the inner elbow. Rhea punches from the knees, stands with more rights, right hand from Piper. Locks the had. Piper with a body slam. Piper gets hit with a dropkick! Rhea lifts Piper, short arm clothesline doesn’t drop her. Hits another. Still no. Piper hits one and Rhea doesn’t go down either. They go back and forth, both exhausted, ripcord, dropkick from Rhea! She wants Riptide. Piper escapes. Spins. Kick from Rhea. RIP TIDE TO PIPER!!! Cover for 1….2…3 at 4:54!!!
Bianca Belair is next!!! She’s ready to beat dat ass. Screen goes black a few times. Rhea may be falling out her top.
We come to the match already in play, so the time will be a bit skewed, but Bianca hits a body slam cuz she don’t care. Another body slam to Rhea is escaped. She tries one of her own, but Bianca rolls her up for 1..2.NO!!! Bianca shoots the legs, bridges for a pi. 1…2..nO!!! Bianca whips Rhea to the corner, reversed, Bianca stops her self, hits a back elbow, flies off with a back flip, blocks a right, locks the head, hits a suplex, rolls through for another one, but Rhea locks her then tries one of her own. Bianca blocks, tries aain, Rhea finally lifts, Drops her, Bianca with a delay and a drop! Cover for 1..2.NO!!!! Whip to Rhea, Bianca with an abdominal stretch. Rhea escapes, but Bianca hits a hip toss. Drop toe hold to Bianca! She eats buckle! Rhea spins Bianca, hits some knees to the face, snapmare. Rhea hits the ropes, running dropkick is missed. Bianca with a springboard moonsault off the ropes. Pin for 1..2..NO!!! Bianca locks the head, Rhea escapes with. Headbutt. Whip to the corner, Bianca flies over, backflips out, runs into a boot. Rhea misses a big boot, they grab each others head in the middle of the ring and slam each other down. Rhea rolls ot the outside. Bianca follows. She grabs Rhea, Rhea sends her into the ringsteps!
We are back, and Belair has Rhea in the ring, looking for a Glam Slam. She hits it! Cover for 1..2…N!O!!!! High kick from Rhea. She pumphandles, goes for Rip Tide, Bianca escapes, looks for KOD, Rhea lands on her feet, kick, Bianca catches, lifts Rhea and sends her to the apron. Rhea sends Bianca into the ringpost. Black screen. Rhea fights from the top rope. Slap from Bianca. Slam from Rhea! Lord. Another slam. They slam back and forth!!!! Kick from Rhea from the top! Dropkick from Bianca to the chest! Bianca presses Rhea off the top rope into a slam!!!! Bianca hits the ropes, springboard again, knees up!!!!! Rhea to the top rope. DROPKICK FROM THE TOP!!!! Rhea covers for 1..2…NO!!!!!
Rhea with a Cloverleaf! Bianca escsapes, hanging Rhea on the ropes. Spinebuster to Rhea!!! KOD to RHEA!!!! Cover!!! 1…2….3!!!!!
Winner: Bianca Belair
This was a star-making performance for Rhea. Of course, it doesn’t erase the months preceding it where she meant next to nothing, but the reality of it is that they gave each match its own specific story, and it worked out really well because of it. I especially love the interaction with Rhea and Piper. They beat some ass. Lastly, I’d suggest that starting the EC feud with this match may very well have done wonders for it.It wasn’t perfect, but there was a reason for them to want to fight, and it made everyone look good (save for some hiccups in the Rhea v Nikki portion).
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 44:04
Riddle wants to play a song at the toga party, but it’s short lived because Gable and Otis attack him to end the party, and not a single soul helped.
While Dana and Reggie are finishing up their meal, R-Truth comes up with a stache to offer them some dessert. Reggie sacrifices himself for Dana but Tamina is there to attack. They chase after no one. A ref eats a cookie. Reggie wants to take their friendship to a new level. Dana says she didn’t mean to lead him on. Regie understands. Friends it is. He offers a handshake, Dana goes to take it, but Reggie rolls her up!
Hahahahahahahahaah!!!
Reggie is the new champion, leaving Dana with the bill and without the belt.
Gable cuts his introduction to tell us all to shoosh. Gable says tonight he will have his first ever Public Assembly. Tonight’s topic: cheaters. He has never cheated in his life. He despises cheaters, and the worst of the worst is RKBRO. They did not defeat them fair and square in the Academic Challenge. They hired an Irishman to host a spelling bee. His accent was thicker than Otis’ neck! And the quiz bowl? They should have been discussing painters, not turtles. There there’s us, the morons who feed Randy and Riddle answer after answer. Where were we when they needed help?
I mean, would he take their help? He’s not a cheater, right?
Gable wants The Mysterios to listen up. He tells Dom to stop listening to Rey. Cheating is not the way to win.
We go to last week when Dom cheated. Shame on Rey, says Chad.
The Miz interrupts this lengthy segment. He and Maryse will be on commentary.
Match 5: Rey and Dominik Mysterio vs The Alpha Academy
We come to Rey hurting against the ropes. Otis is in the ring with him. He grabs Rey and tosses him across the ring with a whip to the corner hard. Otis hits the ropes then a splash. Cover for 1..NO! Otis drags Rey over to Gable, who whips Rey into the corner, hits a shoulder, fireman’s, and ouch with a drop on the knee. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Rey hits a punch, another, Gable gets one. Whip to the corner, Rey hops over and Chad catches him. Rey drops, drop toe hole to Chad into the second buckle. Tag to Otis. He grabs Rey by the chin. Otis cinches the head. Rey escapes and moves out of the way to escape a splash. Tag to Dom. Tag to Chad. Axe to the head, whip to Chhad, reversed, Dom hits the ropes, hops up with a rana to Gable! Whip to the ropes, hits the ropes, tornado DDT to Chad! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Dom calls for some Eddie powers. He kicks, hits a suplex, holds on for a second, spins for a third. Chad escsapes, double hook and a suplex with a bridge for 1..2..NO!!!! Whip to Dom. Kick from Dom. Wheelbarrow toss into the outside. Tag to Rey who looks to hit the ropes, hits Otis, dropkick from Dom to Otis. Suicide dive to Otis! Rey slides and hits a Code Red on the outside!
We are back, and Chad has the hips locked, hitting a belly to belly. Another and a cover gets him 1..2..NO!!! Gable to the top rope. Moonsault and he lands on his feet, but Dom rolls him up! 1..2..NO!!!! Gable flips Dom , tries to shoot the leg, but Dom backs up and flies for a tag to his dad. Headscissors to Gable! Kick from Gable. He flies over, sunset flip, kick from Rey. Cover for 1..2..NO!!!! Rey hops off the ropes, wheelbarrow, but Galbe locks the hip and hits a German with a pin for 1..2…NO!!!! Bulldog from Rey. Coer for 1.2…N!O!! Otis in to stop it. He lifts Dom, Dom floats off, he and Rey send Otis into the post. Gable with a rollup, Rey rolls through, enziguri drops Chad on the 2nd rope.
Tag to Dom. Double 619. Dom to the top rope, Miz istracts, Rey wit a seated senton, Dom flies, crossbody, reversal and Gable has the tights. 1..2…3!!!
Winners: Alpha Academy
Gable is a God send.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 14:12
Maryse distracts on the apron, Miz enters and sends Dom to the outside then hits Rey with a Skull Crushing Finale.
Back to Bliss, where the doctor says she has been cured as much as she can be, and will be fine as long as she has Lily. The stuffings of the original Lily are in this new replica. Do not ever let her go. As long as she is with her, in close proximity, she will be cured, and can have a wonderful life.
Bliss thanks the doc, shakes his hand, and offers lIly’s hand to shake. Before she goes, she fucks with Newton’s Cradle.
We get a video package of her entering herself into the EC match.
Match 6: Seth Rollins vs Randy Orton
We come back from PIP and Seth is stomping a mudhole in the corner. Seth hits Orton with a crossface from behind then hops to the outside. He clubs the back of Orton as he hangs over the apron. Seth is all smiles, as Orton falls to the mat outside.
Back in the ring, Seth flies off the top rope with an axe handle to the face! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Seth pulls on his face from behind, gets a cravat. Orton escapes and walks over to the corner. Seth follows, Orton kicks, club to th back, uppercut to Seth. Another. Chop from Seth. Chop from Orton. Righ hand, kick from Seth, whip to the corner, Orton with a clothesline from the corner. Another. Powerslam attempt is thwarted. Seth tries for a stomp, Orton dodges. He clothelsines Seth over th top rope then hits a back suplex onto the table. Orton pulls Seth to the apron, wants the DDT, but Seth back body drops Orton to the floor. Seth on the apron, runs for a knee to the side of the face. Seth to the ring. He waits. Suicide dive to Orton!
We are back from a break, and Seth heads to the top rope. Orton is up. He crotches Seth. Orton climbs, grabs Seth by the head. He hooks, Superplex to Seth! Cover for 1.2…..NO!!! Right hand from Seth. Antoher. Back and forth. Orton gets an uppercut. Seth with an enziguri. Orton rushes the corner, Seth locks him up and sends him into the buckle. Seth hits the ropes, Slingblade! Seth wants a stomp. Orton up! POWERSLAM OUTTA NOWHERE!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!!! Seth to the apron. Orton grabs him by the head. He locks the head, Seth escapes the DDT again! Rollup for 1..2..NO!!! Superkick from Seth! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Seth is up first. He brings up Riddle trying him last week. Hard right elbow to Orton, dropping him to his knees. He locks the head. Neckbreaker attempt, but instead, Seth hits the back of the head with another elbow. Seth wants the stomp still. He runs, Orton esacpes, misses a clothesline. Kick, double underhook, Orton sends him to the apron, locks the head. DDT TO SETH!! RKO TO SETH!
The music of…..ALPHA ACADEMY HITS!
Riddle attacks chad on the ramp! Otis attacks him, Orton leaves the ring to attack Otis! He sends Otis into the barricade.
Orton runs back to the ring, slides in. STOMP TO ORTON! Cover for 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Seth Rollins
Ya got Seth. Ya got Orton. What did ya expect? They did their thing, and it was a good enough way to end the show, focusing more on the upcoming matches on Saturday than the matches at hand.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 15:51
End Show
