wrestling / TV Reports
Acero’s WWE Raw Review 3.25.24
Image Credit: WWE
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CM Punk is here!
After a quick recap of Smackdown, we get the son of the son of a plumber to start the show.
Cody Rhodes is vested and dress pantsed up, so, we’re gonna get some mic time, it appears.
The crowd is HOT. Like damn, seriously pro Cody.
Cody inquires what we’d like to talk about. Reigns has been talking quite a bit, particularly on his friend Pat McAfee’s show. Pat gets a pop. We see Pat, and he is dressed in some The Rock 2024 cosplay. Cody brings up Cole, too, and even he gets a pop.
As for Reigns, he has been saying Cody has been making promises he cannot keep. That hurt Cody, but this city – more than others – should know that when he makes a bet or promise, he keeps it. The other night, someone asked if he’d be the best man at his wedding. Imagine the convo with his wife, saying he’d pay for the bachelor party and attend the wedding. He doesn’t know Anthony, but he’ll still do it. Imagine a family asking for tickets, and they’ll be going both nights to Mania.
The reason he does the things he does, it’s not desperation. He dresses the way he dresses and talks and walks how he does for a simple reason. He pretends to be the champion, because the champion isn’t here. He respects Reigns, but make no mistake that he is aware that Reigns screwed him out of the. Biggest dream he has ever had. Although he respects him, please understand that he hates Roman’s guts. It’s fine if Reigns hates him, too. It’s his fault that he and Rock cant have this wankfest at Mania. It’s simple. He won the Rumble. Not once, but twice. Cody asks if we would all point to the Mania sign with him. Pointing at that sign means what he said. Two main events, defeating…
THE ROCK! IS HERE!!! He’s over Cody’s shit.
The Rock enters the ring, and walks around Cody to get some love from the crowd. The Rock stands to soak it all in, allowing the crowd to try for a Rocky Sucks chant, but they instead opt for a HOLY SHIT chant, which is censored a bit cuz the kiddies are still up.
THIS IS AWESOME starts as Cody and Rock stare each other down.
A CM Punk chant starts, and oh boy is it loud.
Neither Rock or Cody have a mic, by the way.
The Rock opens his arm, then puts his hands behind his back. He leans in and whispers something to Cody, then backs up and smiles. Cody seems taken aback.
The Rock leaves the ring to some huge boos. ROCKY SUCKS starts, and that may just be exactly what he wanted. Nice.
Ricochet is backstage jumping rope in preparation for his upcoming match with JD.
We head backstage where Jackie wants to talk to The Rock. H walks right by her and she asks what he said. The Rock looks at her, then tells her to go ask cody Rhodes.
Further backstage, The Judgment Day is choppin it up in their
Ricochet vs JD McDonagh
They lock up against the ropes, then break the hold. JD kicks off a distraction. Jd whips, hits. Back elbow. JD lifts up for a back suplex, Ric duck under, head scissors, rana and a dropkick sends JD to the outside. Ric hits the ropes, reverse course, and flies over the opposite side. They drop the Puma line again, and Ric celebrates.
WE RETURN FROM BREAK and JD has Ric in the corner. He hits a chop. Ric fights out with some right hands, he hits the ropes, and JD hits him with a low knee. JD with a waist lock. Ric elbows back, trying to break it. He gets to his knees and reaches for the ropes, breaking the hold. JD doesn’t let go, Ric elbows back a few times then tries for a clothesline, but gets hit with a uranage. He tries for an elbow, Ric moves, springboard back elbow. Both men down. Springboard crossbody! Standing Shooting Star! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Ric gets a fireman’s. Tries for a Recoil, JD catches him, backflip off the chest from Ric, kick to the head, SPANISH FLY FROM JD!! Cover! 1…2…NO!!! He locks the head. BRAINBUSTAAAAA!!!! Cover! 1…2..NO!!! JD grabs Ric and corners him. He sits Ric on the top rope, chop to the chest. Another chop. JD climbs, Ric elbows out, clubs the back, he sits on the back for a POISON RANA! RECOIL! He covers! 1…2…NO!!! Dom grabs the boot and puts ison the rope for a rope break! Ric is pissed. He hops on the apron to tlak shit, flies back into the ring for a springboard 450 onto KNEES!!!! Rollup! 1..2…..NOO!!!
WE return from another break. JD hits a big clothesline then spins up for a powerbomb into a pin for 1…2..NO!!!! Ric just slaps JD aother another. JD with quick kicks ot the head. He hodl the wrist, pops up Ricochet, CANADIAN DESTROYER OUT OF NOWHER!!! Ricochet to the top rope! Dom hops to the apron to distract. Ric holds, waits, ref yells at Dom, Dom hops off the apron and lflings the rope while doing so. Ric crotches himself. Ref kicks Dom out and the crowd is hyped for it.
JD runs up the corner, Ric punches him, Ric stands tall, flies shooting star to the standing JD McDonagh! Cover! 1.2…3!!!
Winner: Ricochet
Amazing opening contest, that was given plenty of time to get good. Typically, commercials cut up matches to the point where only the last few minutes matter, but that didn’t happen here. Good golly.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 14:22
Later, jey Uso will face Shinsuke, but first…
CM Punk is here!
He’s got a lot of things to get to and a lot of business to condut, but before all that, is it good to be alive in Chicago on Monday Night. Everyone is asking if he’ll be at Mania, short answer is yes. He is not medically cleared, but his mouth works.
People have suggested he hosts Mania. Ten years ago, he’d have thought it beneath him. He wishes Mania was in Chicago – hint hint. People ask if maybe he can be a referee. Hmmmm, is there a match that could use a ref? A lot of people talk about him. It seems that even those who hate need to talk about him. Pat McAfee. Pat had Reigns on his show. Why does Reigns need to bring Punk up? He’s earned it, but he has a feeling that him coming back and climbing that mountain, with Reigns way back down the mountain, they’ll see each other pretty soon. Another guy, Seth Rollins, They go way back and don’t see eye to eye, mostly because he wears heels now, but LOLing at him hurting his arm…maybe he’s eanred that, but coming from someone with two bad knees is kind of funny.
Someoone who hasn’t said a word about him…The Rock. Maybe because 10 years ago, he came face to face with the Second City Saint and realized that his arms were just too short to box with God.
Then there’s Drew…
Punk hasn’t said a word, he handles his business live and in living color. When you got a problem in Chicago, you handle it face to face like a man.
HERE COMES DREW!!!
Punk asks for that stupid song to be turned off. Punk isn’t medically cleared, but he doesn’t want to have a wrestling match, so get your bitch ass in here, Punk implores.
Drew is at the top of the ramp. He’d love to get down there and beat Punk’s arse, but the last time they were together, he stomped that stupid little arm.
Punk wonders if he is a Scottish Psychopath in a kilt or a girl in a skirt?
Drew says this is perfect. Drew has a title shot, this is divine intervention.
Drew shows his shirt with a checklist, where the first thing is to “INJURE CM PUNK.”
Punk says he’s never had to put another man’s name on a shirt to sell it.
Drew call it ironic that although he is straight edge, he is always in rehab.
Punk tells the crowd to boo this man. Drew talks about lfiting weights and calls Punk his muse.
Punk wants an attack, but Drew says he’s from Chicago so probably has a weapon.
Punk lays on the mic, Drew sits cross-legged and says he wants Punk to have a front row seat. Drew is the chosen one.
Chosen by who? What was his name? What man of good virtue did this? It wasn’t the people in Chicago. Drew tells him to get it in while he can but he’ll be out for months, still. Drew has an idea. How about Punk be a guest commentator for his match at Mania.
Seth Rollins, late to the party, but fashionably so, is here!
The crowd starts to sing, but once he and Punk go face to face, the crowd chants for Punk.
Seth welcomes Chicago to Monday Night Rollins. Now that we’ve firmly established whose show this is, has been, and will be, if these two kids would stop bic—-
Punk chant starts. It’s Seth’s show, but his city. Seth knows this is n away game, but if they’re done trying to outtroll each other. They should know they don’t get to make decisions about his title match when Punk is not even in it.
BUT, since they want everyone’s opinion, he’ll figure let’s just go all the way and poll the city.
Should CM Punk be on commentary for his title match?
Crowd seems pro. They chant “REFEREE.”
Seth points out that his counting arm is the one injured, so Punk shows him how he can still do it.
Punk calls them both dipshits, saying he doesn’t know how he can be objectively fair.
Drew calls him out, saying, “PG Brother!”
Seth asks Punk, “You wanna know what I think?”
Punk: “Nope.”
Lol.
Seth says nothing. He doesn’t think about him. He hasn’t cross his mind since the last time they were in the ring together. He is a non-factor. Punk talks about how everyone needs him, but Punk needs Seth in order to have a moment at Mania. If Punk does commentary, it’ll be about as close to a title shot he’ll ever get again. He can do whatever he wants at Mania, but he needs to stay out of Seth’s way.
CM Punk says ok, it’s decided. He’ll sit next to Cole and Pat and do a little commentary. He’ll guarantee both of them that he’ll do something that no one could never do (including bringing up Becky) – make them both interesting.
Drew wants the music to stop. Drew is obsessed with the title, Punk is obsessed with him. Drew is living Punk’s dream. Punk is his number one stan.
Superkick to Drew from Seth!
STOMP TO DREW!!!!
Shinsuke Nakamura cuts a promo about dreams and turning Jey’s into a nightmare.
We come back and IMMEDIATELY, are treated to a match with both girls in the ring already.
Ivy Nile vs Candice LeRae
Candice starts with a knee, knocking Ivy out of the ring. Shea sks the rf to count. Candice distracts the ref as Indi is shown walking slowly to Ivy. Candice tosses Ivy outside again, and distracts the ref, again. Indi still unsure of her role. Maxxine hops on the apron. Candice shoves her off. Candice tells the ref her knee hurts. Ref checks on Candice.
Indi still shows major hesitation. Ivy rolls into the ring, rushes the corner, Candice rolls her up, uses the ropes for the pin, and gets the 1.2…3!!!
Winner: Candice LeRae
Well, it’s getting better.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 1:49
The New Day and #DIY argue backstage about the origin of their names.
In come Awesome Truth. Truth is hyped, saying tonight we’ll see THE NEW DAY vs DX! He told JBL tonight that he’d be down there for commentary. Miz says no, McAfee. Truth says bless you.
Lol.
We see in the background that Drew McIntyre is having a word with Paul Heyman.
Jey Uso gets a video package covering his family being a highlight at Mania IX and now he gets to do the same.
#DIY vs The New Day
Kofi and Ciampa to start. Kofi with a dropkick, big kick and a cover. 1.2..NO!! Gargano with a blind tag. They double team Kofi. Gargano with a chop in the corner. Whip t othe coner, Kofi ducks under, Gargano rolls him awy, kicks, misses, Kofi with a Fameasser! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Kofi with a headbutt. Tag to Woods. Unicorn stampede! The New Day send DIY out of the ring as Truth sends us to break.
We are BACK and iampa has Woods hurting with a clothesline in the corner, another, in comes Kofi. Double clothesline. Tag to new Day! Doubleteam to Kofi, then Woods. Gargano kicks Kofi out of the ring. He hits the ropes and dives though the ropes onto both Woods and KofI!
BUT HERE COME JUDGMENT DAY TO ATTACK EVERYONE!!!
Winners: No Contest
A little means to a end and nothing more.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 6:30
Truth continues hilarious commentary while Judgment Day works on DIY and New Day. Crowd chants for R-Truth as Dom hits a Frog Splash.
Miz is over it, and enters the ring to attack. Truth continues his commentary. Priest hits Miz with a South of Heaven. Priest points at Truth, he says tonight he is commentary. He is not fighting tonight. He tells Pat to go to commercial break. Hahahaha.
Finn rips the headpohnes off his head. Preist grabs Truth, roll him into the ring. Truth hits Finn with a right, Dom! JD! CROWD IS HOT!!! He mounts Finn but here comes Priest to lift up Truth for some Razor’s Edg! COUP DE GRACE TO TRUTH!!! Ouch.
Jackie is backstage with Cody. She wants to know what Rock said.
Cody says he is sorry to us and Jackie, but he’d rather not repeat what Rock said. He can say that The Rock made a promise that he can’t keep.
Gunther is with Cathy backstage, and boy oh boy is she stunning. She asks Gunther what he thought of Sami’s words last week.
He says Sami’s words were empty. He doenst believe he can beat Gunther. They are in Chicago tonight, where a bunch of fatties think just like Sami, he cant beat Gunther. He doesn’t think Sami will beat Bronson Reed tonight, either.
Andrade vs Giovanni Vinci
Andrade with a HUGE chop! Whip to the ropes, Andrade ducks down, Vinci send him into the ropes, Andrade spins and sits on them. Whip to the corner. Andrade sends Vinci to the apron. Right hand from Vinci. Andrade with a dropkick to the flying Vinci!
Andrade to the top rope! Moonsault to the outside! He should probably show Charlotte how to do that…
He rolls Vinci into the ring, goes for a moonsault, lands on his feet as Vinci rolls out of the way, then hits a standing moonsault. Cover. 1..2.NO!!! Suplex! He goes for another! Vinci blocks, big boot ot the chin. Vinci hits the ropes, CROSSBODY TO ANDRADE!!
Back from a break where Andrade hits some running knees to Vinci in the corner. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Andrade with a waist lock. Vinci hits a clothesline. He flips Andrade up, Andrade lands on his feet, Vinci with a HUGE chop!
But Andrade hits aback elbow off the rope whip, then spins Vinci with a spinning suplex he calls The Message. Cover for 1..2..3!!!
Winner: Andrade
A nice little sprint that was hurt a bit by the break, but the point was made.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:08
Rhea Ripley is here with her Dom Dom.
Rhea feels like she is not getting enough attention. She feels like a certain someone is not giving her the proper amount of attention. Becky continues to fight week after week. She could have attacked Becky, but she decided to be respectful. Now she’s getting impatient. Mania is around the corner, and Becky should be giving her FULL Attention. She wants Dom to tell us that, but of course, we wont allow that.
Becky Lynch’s music stops him in his track, and gets a huge pop. She says check her out, coming out while Rhea is fresh as a daisy, unlike Rhea all month. She could never do what Rhea has done. Rhea doesn’t wrestle on RAW anymore anyway, does she?
Rhea wonders why she would want to compete before the biggest match of her career. She doesn’t have to wrestle weekly to get these peoples’ attention. She could just post a video online and watch us eat it up. It’s that easy for her. She doesn’t have to prove herself weekly.
Becky pretends to puke. This is the problem, they both have different ideas of what a champion is. To Rhea, it’s posting her ass online, but to Becky, it’s busting her ass in the ring. There will always be someone newer, younger, hotter, but the long game is skill and merit.
Ok, Rhea gets it, Becky is a survivor. A cockroach. She’s hard to kill but it’s not impossible. At Mania, she wont kill her, but only because she wants Becky alive so she can sit on her couch, watch Rhea, and sit next to her daughter and listen to her call Rhea Mami.
Becky is pissed. She says that is her one pass, if Rhea mentions her daughter again, that’ll be the last words she’s ever said. It’s not funny to her. Becky’s dad never got to meet her daughter. She knows he’s proud, but what he’d be most proud of is the mother that she’s become. It may be a joke to Rhea, just like the title, but it’s not to Becky. At Mania, neither of them will be the same again.
They go face to face but Dom holds her back.
Becky attacks Dom with a right hand! Rhea sends Becky into the post! She runs out to check on Dom. Becky flies off the steps with an attack! Refs hold Becky back while Dom stops Rhea.
Sami Zayn walks backstage. He sees Chad Gable who is talking to Maxxine.
Gable stops Sami, says he wants to talk, but Sami ain’t having it. Gable doesnt think he can beat Gunther, Gunther doesn’t believe he can beat him. Gunther doesn’t even believe he can beat Reed.
Gable says stop, tells Sami to get his head out of his ass, and focus on the task at hand.
Sami says he is right, and appreciates him saying that.
They shake hands and Sami heads to the ring.
Bronson Reed vs Sami Zayn
They do some rope work, Sami holds. On, hits an elbow, hops under Reed, over Reed, sends him outside, then hits the ropes and flies over the top onto Reed with a senton. Sami sends Reed into the ring. Sami climbs. Flies. Crossbody is caught! Elbow from Sami! Chop! Reed whips, ducks under a right, back elbow, misses as Reed hits a sloppy pounce. Reed with a HUGE CHOP TO SAMI!!! Sami to the outside! Reed follows to the apron. He hits a shoulder tackle off the apron.
WE ARE BACK and Breed whips Sami then gets ki ked in his chest. Big clothesline, chop to Reed. Another clothesline and chop. Reed hits his own, springboard off th 2nd rope, clothesline from Sami.
Gunther comes out to watch. Sami tries for a Blue Thunder Bomb. Reed escapes, misses a splash in the corner. Sami rolls him up for 1..2.NO!!! Sami tries again for a Blue Thunder Bomb, but Reed flattens him. Big Suplex from Reed, looking eerily similar to Andrade’s finisher. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Reed is bleeding from the nose. Reed corners Sami, hits a huge chop, a right, another chop. He sits Sami on the top rope. Sami kicks him away in the corner then locks the head and hits a Tornado DDT! Sami in the corner, he waits for Reed to stand, HE—-NO!!
BIG CLOTHESLINE from Reed! Senton! Reed to the top rope! TSUNAMI! COVER! 1…2…….3!!!!
Winner: Bronson Reed
Surprising choice, yet part of the story they are telling. Do I like it? Ehhhh, but at least it’s consistent.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 9:30
Gunther is shown laughing while he heads to the back.
Jey Uso cuts a promo backstage about Shin sleepin on him for way too long.
Here is Solo Sikoa and Jimmy Uso to tell him “No YEET”
Backstage, Sami is tossin shit around and smacking bottles. Here comes Gable to calm him down. Sami is pissed he let Gunther get in his head. How does he let it happen?
Gable says this is what he does, he plants these seeds. Sami is one of the best. With Gunther, it’s mental. He’s going to beat Sami down. Sami cant let that happen. If Sami wants to win, he needs a different approach.
Jey is readying for his match and Seth runs up on him saying something don’t feel right tonight. He and Cody got Jey’s back. Go get that W.
Jey Uso vs Shinsuke Nakamura
LOCKUP! Shin corners Jey, Jey reverses, Shin reverses that, misses a right, rights from Jey Whip to Shin, reversed, Jey slides out, hits an uppercut. Shin heads to the outside. Jey hits the ropes, dives…into a kick! Shin rolls back in and drops a kick to the back of the head. Shin whips, reversed, Jey missesa big splash in the conrer, Shin lays him across the top ropes and hits a running knee. Shin wants everyone to be quiet, then runs with another knee to the gut.
We are BACK to some YEET! HE uppercuts, kicks, swings and hits an enziguri! Shin drops in the corner. Uso with a hip attack, misses as Shin moves, swings Jey into the ropes and hits the sliding German! Shin rolls back in, covers for 1.2…NO!!! Shin to the top rope! Roll through, Superkick from Jey, Shin bounces off the ropes. RUNNING KNEE TO JEY USO!!
Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa are in the crowd, but here come Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins to prevent an attack! Seth sends Solo into the post while Cody fights Jimmy up the ramp.
Here comes Drew McIntyre to attack Seth with. Future Shock DDT!!!
In the ring, Jey stands but Shin is up to try for an inverted suplex. SUPERKICK!! SPEAR!~! CVOER!!! 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Jey Uso
Jey lives up to his name, clearing out the main event with a win! Some may say overbooked, but this was a show long build up and the crowd was HYPED!
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:33
We head backstage where Cody is fighting with Jimmy. Cody drags Jimmy near the exit. Here comes Solo to attack but Cody makes short work of him, beating him down with fists.
THE ROCK is here! He grabs Cody, slams his head into a table. He talks some shit, telling Cody to look at himself now. He sends Cody into a trash can, then grabs it and tosses it at Cody’s head. The Rock with a right hand, telling Cody he wasn’t going to let him get away with talking trash the last two weeks. Cody grabs a toolbox which has…a cowbell for some reason? Lol.
The Rock drags Cody out of a door, and there’s a bus waiting. It’s Perfect, says The Rock. He’s got our attention now, doesn’t he? The Rock rips Cody’s shirt off, and they are out in the rain. The Rock with a right as they fight alongside a bus. Rock kicks Cody down, telling him to get up, boy. The Rock sends ody into the door of his private bus.
The Rock grabs the camera, yells that he is the final boss. At the end of the day, to all the Cody Cry Babies, to Momma Rhodes, it didn’t have to be like this. It is now, because of Cody! He stuck his nose in The Rock’s business.
Rhodes is bleeding. Rock goes over to him, slaps him in the face, then says he has a special gift. He has a belt that says “Mama Rhodes” and grabs some of Cody’s blood and smears it on the belt.
The Rock tells Cody his daddy new about hard times, but Cody doesn’t. He’s going to learn Cody about Hard Times. This is what happens. He sends Cody face first into the door of the bus and stands over him with the belt in his hand.
The Rock spits on Cody then gives Mama Rhodes one last message. This is the only way. Look at your son.
End Show
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