BG Says: PWG Astonishing X-Mas

December 16, 2005 – Los Angeles, California

Disco Machine and TARO tackle commentary, and as usual be sure to switch the audio channel over to hear them.

Dino Clause kicks off the show with a bag full of goodies. He hypes some of the matches that will occur later in the evening before throwing candy into the crowd. I wouldn’t want anything that’s been in Winwood’s warm, sticky pockets. His bag of gifts is filled with crap from the Wal-Mart like a 250 pack of straws, a Dolph Lundgren action figure, a three pack of lighters and a Nutter Butter.

VS.
Scott Lost VS. Alex Shelley
They knuckle up and Shelley grabs a headlock. He switches to a leglock but Lost gets to the ropes. They lock up and Shelley goes back to the headlock. He misses a snot rocket but Lost ends up jumping into the snot puddle on the mat. Lost puts on a wristlock but Shelley counters to an armbar. Lost grabs a headlock but Shelley counters to the head scissors and does push ups. He puts pressure on Lost’s arm and then puts on a stranglehold. Lost counters the hold but Shelley hits him with a head scissors takedown. Shelley hits a leg lariat and a back elbow. He hits a fireman’s carry slam and a slingshot elbowdrop for 2. He hits the snot rocket and puts on the Mark Nulty Special. He rolls into the Skull F*cker but misses a double knee kick. He hits a Manhattan drop but misses an enziguiri. Lost hits a neckbreaker for 2. He hits a vertical suplex for 2. He puts on a chinlock and hits a crossbody for 2. Shelley bails so Lost follows him out and hits a dropkick. Back in the ring Lost gets 2. He hits a back suplex for 2. He goes for a sleeper hold but Shelley hits him with a stunner and a superkick. He hits an enziguiri and a bulldog. He dropkicks Lost’s head but Lost comes back with the Superman Spear. Shelley hits a powerbomb and a brainbuster. He climbs the ropes and hits the frog splash for 2. He climbs the ropes again but Lost crotches him and hits a superkick. Lost hits a superplex and then climbs the ropes. He hits the flying elbowdrop for 2. Shelley gets a crucifix pin for 2. Lost hits a dropkick and climbs the ropes again. A Swanton Bomb hits knees and Shelley rolls him up for 2. Lost blocks a DDT and puts on the Sharpshooter for the win at 16:39. Lost actually had been working on the back for the brief stints that he was in control, and as with most Shelley matches this was very entertaining.
Rating: ***¼

VS.
Topgun Talwar & Quicksilver VS. Ronin & Nemesis
Talwar and Ronin start. They lock up and trade chops. Talwar gets a roll up for 2. He puts on an armbar but Ronin gets to the ropes. Nemesis and Quicksilver tag in and play for the crowd’s affection. Nemesis puts on a headlock but runs into a leg lariat. He hits an armdrag but Quicksilver comes back with a slap across the face. He hits an elbow to the top of the head for 2. Talwar tags in and hits the basement shoulder tackle. Ronin tags in and dropkicks Talwar off of Nemesis’s knee for 2. He puts on a chinlock and hits a back elbow for 2. He hits a butterfly suplex and tags to Nemesis. Nemesis jumps into a Rydeen Bomb and both men tag out. Quicksilver dominates Ronin with elbows and a dropkick. He hits a hurricanrana for 2. Ronin hits a big forearm and Nemesis hits a swinging neckbreaker. Talwar shoves Nemesis down and hits a big swinging DDT. Ronin clothesline Talwar but Quicksilver hits him with an enziguiri. Quicksilver kicks Nemesis’s face and hits a spinebuster on Ronin. He dives onto Nemesis on the floor just before Ronin hits a neckbreaker on Talwar. Nemesis hits the X-Factor on Quicksilver and Ronin hits him with a powerbomb for 2. Nemesis hits an Argentina backbreaker for 2. Talwar clotheslines Nemesis to the floor but Ronin sets him up top. Quicksilver hits Ronin with a step-up enziguiri and Talwar hits him with the Chipotlé. Talwar dives out onto Nemesis as Quicksilver hits Ronin with the Quick Qrusher for the win at 11:39. Sloppy match, albeit a little fun.
Rating: **

VS.
Colt Cabana VS. Scorpio Sky
They lock up and Cabana grabs a wristlock. Sky counters to a top wristlock but Cabana escapes in comedic fashion. They jockey for a hammerlock until Cabana hits a snapmare. They trade wristlocks until Cabana whips Sky to the floor. Sky puts on a headlock but gets shoulder tackled out of the ring. After regrouping Sky gets back into the ring and hits a head scissors takedown. He hits an armdrag and Cabana bails. Sky follows him out and chases Cabana around the ring. Cabana tries to be a matador to Sky’s bull but Sky doesn’t go for it. Back in the ring Cabana puts on a headlock. Sky hits a dropkick and puts on an armbar. Cabana hits a bodyslam and a fistdrop. He hits a kneelift followed by the Mr. Wrestling kneelift. He wrenches Sky’s neck and Sky bails. Cabana rolls him back into the ring and gets 2. He chops Sky down and hits a double sledge. Sky bails so Cabana follows him out and rolls him back inside. He goes to work on Sky’s knee. He puts on a leglock and stretches Sky’s hamstrings. Sky favors the knee heavily, slowing the match way down. Cabana puts on a figure 4 leglock but Sky gets to the ropes. He goes for it again but Sky fights back with elbows. Cabana stays on the leg and holds Sky’s shoulders down for the win at 12:43. This was dreadfully dull, probably due to what appeared to be a legitimate injury to Sky.
Rating: *

VS.
Roderick Strong & Jack Evans VS. El Generico & Human Tornado
Evans and Tornado start. Evans’s spinning break dancing is so fierce that Tornado and Generico fall to the floor. Tornado gets frustrated when he can’t dance nearly as well. He puts Evans on the mat and grabs a front facelock. Evans flips out of it and puts on a headlock. Tornado hits a dropkick but can’t complete the House Party. Strong and Generico tag in and lock up. Generico dodges a chop and hits a few of his own. He hits a couple armdrags and a leg lariat for 2. Tornado tags in and gets chopped down. Evans tags in and hits a back elbow. He hits a basement dropkick for 2. Strong tags in and chops Tornado down. Evans tags in and has Strong suplex him into a splash on Tornado for 2. The crowd erupts after that spot. Evans hits a spin kick and tags to Strong. Strong hits a back suplex and tags to Evans. Strong hits a butterfly suplex and Evans hits a standing corkscrew moonsault for 2. Tornado hits a roundhouse kick for 2. Generico tags in and dropkicks the back for 2. He hits a snap suplex for 2. He hits an elbowdrop for 2. Tornado tags in and hits a neckbreaker. He puts on a dragon sleeper and hits a reverse suplex for 2. He hits a vertical suplex and puts on a guillotine choke. Strong breaks it up with a kick to the face. Generico tags in but misses the Yakuza kick in the conrer. Strong tags in and hits the Sick Kick to the back. He hits a backbreaker for 2. He hits a delayed brainbuster for 2. Evans tags in and has Strong press slam him onto Generico in the corner for 2. He hits a handspring elbow and a springboard spin kick for 2. Strong tags in and kicks Generico in the head. He puts on a chinlock and catches Generico with a backbreaker when he goes for a slingshot. It gets 2. Strong hits a bodyslam and tags to Evans. Strong catapults Evans into a twisting splash for 2. He goes for another handspring elbow but Generico counters to a back suplex. Tornado tags in and hits a dropkick on Evans and the Shoryuken on Strong. He hits the Pounce on Evans but Strong attacks him from behind. Tornado hurricanranas Strong to the floor and hits him with the crazy big dive. Evans dives onto Tornado, Generico and Strong with a springboard 450 splash and gets 2 on Tornado back in the ring. Tornado suplexes Evans onto the top rope and hits a hanging neckbreaker for 2 when Strong saves. Strong hits a capture backbreaker on Tornado but Generico blocks the gutbuster. He hits Strong with the Yakuza kick but Evans catches him with a reverse hurricanrana for 2. Generico clotheslines Strong to the floor and hits the Half & Half on Evans for 2. Strong hits the uranage backbreaker on Tornado and throws Evans on top of him for 2. Generico comes off the top rope with a crossbody on Strong but Evans counters the brainbuster to a hurricanrana. Strong hits the g(n)utbuster on Generico and drapes Tornado across the second rope in the corner. He tosses Jack into a double stomp and Jack climbs the ropes. Generico dumps Strong and goes for the BRAINBUSTAH on Generico. Strong runs in and with Evans screws up Skipping a Generation on their opponents. Strong hits the Argentina backbreaker on Generico and Evans hits a standing 450 splash on Tornado for the win at 23:19. Botched finish and slow heat segment aside this was a very, very fun match.
Rating: ***½

VS.
Joey Ryan © VS. Chris Kanyon [PWG Championship Match]
This is going to be ugly. They lock up and Kanyon powers Ryan to the corner. He hits a bodyslam but Ryan grabs a wristlock. Kanyon counters to a hammerlock but Ryan gets to the ropes. Ryan hits a knee to the gut but Kanyon counters a crossbody to a vertical suplex. Kanyon gets a backslide for 2. Ryan feeds him his foot and Kanyon gets a roll up for 2. He gets a crucifix pin for 2. He rolls Ryan over for 2. Ryan has an asthma attack and then gets into a shoving match with Kanyon. Kanyon trips him and hits a backbreaker for 2. Ryan dumps Kanyon to the floor and follows him out to hit a vertical suplex. He whips Kanyon into a fat couple and gets 2 back in the ring. Kanyon comes back with a vertical suplex for 2. Ryan hits an enziguiri for 2. He hits a dropkick for 2. Kanyon gets a crucifix pin for 2. Ryan hits a clothesline for 2. He puts on a chinlock and hits a German suplex. He sets Kanyon up top and goes for the Mustache Ride but Kanyon fights him off and hits his legdrop thing off the second rope. Kanyon hits a back elbow and a clothesline. He hits a clothesline in the corner and a facebuster. Ryan goes the apron so Kanyon brings him back in with a northern lights suplex. Ryan goes for a piledriver but Kanyon counters to the ugliest spinebuster ever for 2. You can actually hear a fan shout, “What the hell was that?” Ryan hits a pair of knees and a powerbomb for 2. Kanyon hits a facebuster for 2. Ryan comes back with a spinning pedigree for 2. He pulls Kanyon to the floor and rams him into the post. Ryan hits a swinging DDT on the floor but Kanyon comes back with a flapjack in the ring. He hits the Flatliner for 2. He goes for another but Ryan blocks and hits a superkick for 2. He sets Kanyon up top and goes for the Mustache Ride but Kanyon fights him off and hits the Flatliner off the second rope. It gets 2 when Joey gets his foot on the bottom rope. Ryan dumps Kanyon to the floor and puts brass knuckles on behind the referee’s back. He nails Kanyon with them for 2. He sets a chair up in the ring and puts Kanyon’s head on it. He goes for a one man Con-Chair-Toe but the referee pulls the chair away from him. Kanyon hits a drop toehold onto the upright chair for 2. He sets Ryan up top but Ryan fights him off. Ryan misses a second rope legdrop and Kanyon hits the Kanyon Cutter. He calls for another one but Mortis strolls out and tries to hit Ryan with his skull staff. Kanyon stops that from happening, allowing Ryan to roll him up for the win at 25:12. Ryan and Mortis walk to the back together. I’ll give them some credit for trying to injure fat fans, but they really did nothing with the huge amount of time they were given. Before everything was said and done it got pretty embarrassing for both wrestlers, but mostly for Kanyon. I actually got a kick out of the finish because there wasn’t much of a match to be ruined by that kind of goofiness.
Rating: *¾

VS.
Samoa Joe VS. Davey Richards
They fight on the mat to start and the commentators thankfully bring up Joe’s awful highlight job of the time. Joe kicks Richards a little low and then stomps him to the floor. He bowls Richards over with a shoulder tackle and slaps him across the face. Richards unloads with kicks to the chest but runs into a big boot. Joe kicks Richards around the ring and hits the Big Joe Combo. He headbutts Richards to the floor and then puts on a chinlock back in the ring. He hits a Manhattan drop and a Yakuza kick. He hits a senton for 2. He puts on a camel clutch but Richards comes back with the lungblower. Richards hits a series of running forearms and a clothesline for 2. He gets a sunset flip for 2. He puts on the STF and floats into a crossface but Joe gets to the ropes. Richards hits a dropkick and Joe falls to the floor. Richards goes for a hurricanrana but Joe catches him and swings him into a row of chairs. That’s after Joe falls while holding Richards. Back in the ring Joe hits a knee kick in the corner. Richards bleeds from the nose as Joe washes his face. Joe hits a powerbomb for 2. He puts on the Samoan crab and then floats into the STF. He switches to a crossface but Richards gets to the ropes. Joe hits a powerslam for 2. Richards comes back with a German suplex for 2. Joe hits a chinbreaker but Richards returns fire with an enziguiri. He climbs the ropes but Joe dodges the dive and hits a lariat for 2. He sets Richards up top and hits the Muscle Buster for the win at 17:03. Their rematch in ROH just over a year later was much more entertaining. Still this was good, just not nearly as multi-dimensional as the Ring of Honor match.
Rating: ***

VS.

TJ Perkins, Chris Sabin, Frankie Kazarian & Rocky Romero VS. Christopher Daniels, B-Boy, Petey Williams & Alex Koslov
Williams and Kazarian start. Kazarian grabs a wristlock but Williams counters to a headlock. They go for roll ups until Kazarian puts on a front facelock. Williams goes to the eyes and hits a hiptoss. He hits a hiptoss on all of his opponents and then the referee and his teammates as well. Daniels calms Williams down and tells him to tag to B-Boy. B-Boy hits a basement dropkick on Kazarian but Kazarian comes back with the Edge-O-Matic. Sabin tags in and hits a dropkick to the back of the head. Daniels tags in and hits a leg lariat on Sabin. Sabin hits a hurricanrana and a legsweep for 1. He hits an awesome head scissors takedown and Koslov tags in. Perkins tags in and gets hit with a clothesline in the corner. Koslov hits a back elbow and puts on his fur hat. Perkins hits a drop toehold and steals Koslov’s hat. He does a Russian dance on Koslov’s back until Daniels dumps him to the floor. B-Boy tags in and hits Perkins with a snap suplex for 2. Williams tags in as and sets Perkins in the Tree of Woe. He stands on Perkins’s crotch and then tags to Koslov who does the same. Daniels tags in and does it too. He hits a bodyslam and tags to Williams. Williams works Perkins over in the corner and tags to Koslov. Koslov hits a kneedrop for 2. Daniels tags in and hits a back elbow for 2. He puts on a chinlock but Perkins escapes and tags to Romero. Romero hits a forearm and a big boot. He unleashes kicks until Daniels grabs one and hits an elbow to the knee. Romero kicks out Daniels’s knees and chops him down. Sabin tags in and hits a backbreaker. He hits an elbowdrop off the second rope for 2. Kazarian tags in and hits the momentum kick for 2. He hits a neckbreaker for 2. Koslov trips him and Daniels hits a knee to the gut. Williams tags in and chokes Kazarian in the ropes. B-Boy tags in and hits a backbreaker for 2. He misses two kicks but hits a dropkick and tags to Daniels. Daniels hits a vertical suplex for 2. Koslov tags in and hits a dropkick. B-Boy tags in and hits a dropkick. Williams tags in and hits a dropkick. Daniels tags in and hits a dropkick. I should note that after each dropkick every member of the heel team did a dance, getting nerdier and nerdier with each wrestler. Daniels puts on an abdominal stretch and B-Boy & Williams add some pressure. Kazarian hits a hiptoss to escape. Koslov tags in and they set Kazarian up top. Kazarian fights off every member of the opposing team and walks over their shoulders to tag to Sabin. It’s a good thing they all just stood there for him to do that. Sabin cleans house, hitting an atomic drop on Koslov and a huge Manhattan drop on Daniels. He kicks off B-Boy, Williams and Koslov to hit a swinging DDT on Daniels. He hits a missile dropkick and the Cradle Shock on Koslov for 2 when Williams saves. Williams tags in and hits a Russian legsweep. He hits a dropkick and a swinging neckbreaker for 2. Perkins tags in and hits a roundhouse kick. He hits a butterfly brainbuster for 2. Williams hits a chinbreaker and tags to Daniels. Daniels hits an enziguiri but Perkins counters the Angel’s Wings to a backdrop. Romero tags in and hits a knee kick. He puts on the cross armbreaker but B-Boy breaks it up. B-Boy tags in and hits a rolling fisherman buster for 2. Sabin tags in gets hit with a package Adrenaline Spike. Kazarian clotheslines Daniels to the floor as Romero dropkicks Koslov. Romero dives onto someone on the floor but Williams follows him out and hits a hurricanrana. Perkins dives out onto everyone just before Sabin kicks B-Boy in the face in the ring and follows with the Cradle Shock for the win at 23:20. This was pandemonium in every sense. It was completely chaotic and a blast at every turn.
Rating: ***¾

VS.
Super Dragon VS. Kevin Steen [Guerrilla Warfare Match]
After nine months of back and forth violence it comes to this. Steen and Dragon brawl in the crowd to start. Steen shoves Dragon into rows and rows of chairs. He hits a chair shot to the back and one to the head. Dragon comes back with a shot to the head and then rams Steen into the post. Steen whips Dragon low and press slams him onto dozens of chairs. Dragon comes back with a topé from the ring and then smacks Steen with a chair. He hits a kneedrop off the apron but Steen shoves Dragon into the wall. They throw chairs at each other and Steen hits a dropkick to the back. He hits the somersault legdrop and chops Dragon’s face. Dragon returns the favor and they trade strikes. Dragon throws the entranceway onto Steen and hits a suplex on the floor. Steen comes back with chair shots to the back and then finally rolls Dragon into the ring. He puts the Red Super Dragon mask on and hits the Curb Stomp. Dragon pops up and hits the Curb Stomp on Steen. He rips Steen’s mask off and hits another Curb Stomp. He sets up a table on the floor and lays Steen out on it. Fans surround the ring and pound on it to encourage Dragon to put Steen through the table. Steen gets off the table so Dragon dives onto him with a spin kick. He puts Steen back on the table but Steen catches him with a right hand to the face. Steen suplexes Dragon off the apron through the table, getting 2 back in the ring. He climbs the ropes and hits a Swanton Bomb for 2. He threatens to throw a chair at fans chanting for Dragon and then sets Dragon up top. Dragon fights Steen off and comes off the top with a huge senton for 2. Steen tries to crawl out of the ring so Dragon hits a slingshot double stomp to the back of his head. He puts a metal folding chair into the ring and then rolls Steen inside. Dragon blocks a chair shot and hits a low blow. He hits a disgusting chair shot to the head and then hits the Curb Stomp on it. He sets up the chair and puts Steen’s head on it. He climbs the ropes and hits a double stomp onto Steen’s head for 2. It looks like Steen is more resilient than Scorpio Sky. Dragon goes into a storage room and brings out a tin full of thumbtacks. He throws the tin at Steen’s head and goes for the Psycho Driver on the tacks. Steen blocks it and goes for the package piledriver on the tacks. Dragon blocks it so Steen hits a powerbomb onto the tacks for 2. He brings a few more metal chairs into the ring and piles them up. He hits a superkick and the package piledriver onto the chair pile for 2. Steen is flustered that Dragon won’t stay down and starts to walk out on the match, saying it’s not worth his life. A minute later he comes back from the locker room and brings a barbed wire board to the ring. He smacks Dragon over the head with the tin and the tin’s lid. He sets up two chairs and drapes the barbed wire board over them. He goes for a powerbomb onto the barbed wire board but Dragon blocks it and hits a lariat. Dragon sets Steen up top and hits a butterfly superplex through the barbed wire board for 2. He sets up a table on the floor and hits a Psycho Driver off the apron through it. Sadly that is not the first time I’ve seen him do that, but it is probably the first time he’d ever actually done it. Steen is busted open so Dragon works over the cut and gets 2 back in the ring when he pulls Steen up. He goes back to the storage room and gets another tin. This one has handcuffs in it, which he uses to bind Steen. He hits headbutts and kicks to get Steen on his knees. Steen spits in his face so Dragon smacks him across the face with a chair. He goes for a pin but pulls Steen up at 2 again. He sets the still handcuffed Steen up top and then hits the Psycho Driver on the tacks and rolls Steen onto the barbed wire board for the win at 29:53. Honestly, it’s no wonder that Super Dragon’s neck is all screwed up. This match alone probably took a year off of his life. Steen took the beating of a lifetime to end the match. It wasn’t all that bloody, but it was definitely one of the most violent matches I’ve ever seen.
Rating: ****½

Click on the handcuffs on the main menu to reveal the following backstage shenanigans
A bloody Kevin Steen has a message for Super Dragon. He admits that he was finally defeated, but he doesn’t want Dragon to ever forget all it took for him to go down. It took handcuffs, chairs, tables, thumbtacks and barbed wire. He’s not making any excuses however, he lost fair and square. Their issue may or may not be over, but that doesn’t matter. All that matters is that he’s still walking, and he’ll be back in PWG. Before the cameras fade he pulls two thumbtacks out of his head.

The 411:  While there are a couple of stinkers on this show (I’m looking at you Chris Kanyon and Scorpio Sky’s injury!) there is more than enough to warrant a viewing. The opener, the Generation Next tag match, the eight-man tag and the main event are all well worth seeking out. The main event is especially important as I believe it will go down as the most violent match ever in PWG as well as the blow off to my favorite feud in the company’s history. This gets a very, very strong recommendation.

Final Score:  8.5   [ Very Good ]