wrestling / Columns

Botched!: Time Cues, Alexa Bliss’ Alka-Seltzer, More

October 1, 2021 | Posted by Steve Cook
Alexa Bliss Lilly WWE Extreme Rules

Hi, hello & welcome to Botched! Before we dive into the usual nonsense, I feel the need to point out the following: The Finn Balor top rope break wasn’t a botch. It was just a really dumb idea that did nobody involved any favors. Thanks. Here’s some stuff that probably wasn’t actually supposed to happen!

1. The one flaw in Omega vs. Danielson

Bryan Danielson has accomplished a ton in the wrestling business, and on Wednesday night he finally achieved his life-long goal: Getting five stars from Dave Meltzer. Indeed, a childhood dream came true. So what’s this match doing here? Well, there was one issue that grinded some folks’ gears about this match, and you can try to hear it around the 3:55 mark of the video below.

The time cues, or lack thereof. One could barely hear or understand Justin Roberts’ one minute time cue, and apparently there were some other ones but I didn’t hear any of them. The way that match flew by, no wonder people got mad when the bell rang while they were pummeling each other.

2. Arn takes a fall

There are certain things I don’t like doing in this column, or anywhere else for that matter. I prefer not to make light of old people falling, which unfortunately is what happened here. Arn Anderson needed to get into a position for a bump he was going to take when Cody knocked him off the apron. First he got on the wrong side, then was directed over to the other side, which led to the following:

Then they made him get up so Cody could inadvertently knock him down again. I’m not sure why they didn’t just let the first fall be the distraction for Cody, as heat between the two could have been hinted at that way as well.

3. The announce table can’t withstand Montez Ford

For all the technological advances made on WWE equipment over the years, it’s amazing that the announce tables just get weaker.

Ford meant to do that though. Nice save.

4. I’m bi a lot of things, but lingual isn’t one of them! – Triple H

One can tell when WWE is holding one of their Sunday events by the appearance of “Peacock” on Twitter’s Trending Topics. Seems like it’s always something that WWE fans are complaining about with the streaming service. What was it this month? Apparently they managed to have multiple announce teams calling the Kickoff Show match between Liv Morgan & Carmella.

Then the fans got mad when the problem got fixed, as the Spanish announcers were doing a better job.

5. Alexa needed to treat her heartburn

Based off what I read in some of these comment sections, I know 411mania attracts an older audience. Undoubtedly, one that is familiar with the concept of heartburn and/or upset stomach. I’m sure some of you popped an Alka-Seltzer before clicking on this column. Alexa Bliss did the same after her match with Charlotte Flair at Extreme Rules, in an apparent attempt to foam at the mouth in rage. It didn’t quite work though.

Bliss will be taking some time off after this match, as the humiliation of talking Alka-Seltzer is too much for her to bear.

Thanks for reading! If you see (or hear) anything wrong in the world of wrestling, let me know via Twitter or e-mail at [email protected]. See you next time!

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