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* Edge vs. R-Truth
* The Great Khali vs. Chris Jericho
* Melina vs. Jillian Hall
* John Cena vs. The Miz
* Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella vs. The Usos
* Ted DiBiase vs. Randy Orton vs. John Morrison
* Sheamus Defends The WWE Title

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So there’s still confusion with the Hogan/Vince Heads, so to help clear things up, here’s how I use them as a rankings system.

1 Head = Bad
2 Heads = Average
3 Heads = Good
4 Heads = Great
5 Heads = Best. Match. EVAR!!!

Yeah, they’re kind of similar to star ratings, but kind of different too. Like say if there’s a squash match, I’d probably give it 2 Heads instead of 1 whether or not it accomplishes its goal of putting a wrestler over. So now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s get started with Raw.

-We kick things off with a pretty lengthy recap of last week. The Raw opening video follows, and here comes Sheamus.

We get a recap of Orton going crazy last week. Sheamus says that American’s cry and cry until they get what they want. He starts pointing out at fans and goes to ringside. He points at one girl and asks what makes her think she deserves a ticket, she’s a disgrace. Sheamus points out at some more kids and gets back in the ring. There’s an even bigger spoiled child in the WWE, and his name is Randy Orton. Orton couldn’t win the title at Summerslam, so he assaulted him the next night on Raw. The WWE Universe loved it, chanting “RKO, RKO”. He’s going to burst our bubble right now, because Orton isn’t the champion, Sheamus is. The GM and he are not on the same page as of late, but in 4 weeks time, Night of Champions is coming up. He spoke to the GM to not give in to Orton. Orton should be put in prison. He should never get another opportunity at the title. Not now, not ever. And Cole’s got an email. The GM has no problem with Sheamus. Sheamus should be rewarded. Cole asks for the throne to be brought out. And two officials brings out the throne on the stage. Cole says the GM isn’t going to decide his next challenger, Sheamus is. There will be a series of matches tonight. Sheamus will watch them, and at the end of the night, Sheamus will announce his opponent for Night of Champions. Sheamus thanks the GM and says he’s going to enjoy himself tonight. Cole says the first of these matches begins right now. YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME!!

And here comes Edge. He passes Sheamus on the ramp and the two stare down. Sheamus goes to sit down on the throne as we head to commercial.

Match 1: Edge vs R-Truth

Tie up to start, and Edge kicks Truth in the gut.Truth ducks a clothesline and nails a head scissors. Truth clotheslines Edge over the top and to the outside. Truth goes for a plancha, but Edge avoids it. Edge then proceeds to throw Truth back first into the barricade. Back in the ring now as Truth starts fighting back, but to no avail. Stomps by Edge. Choking in the ropes by Edge. Running crossbody by Edge. Pin but only two. Bow & arrow submission by Edge is applied. Truth gets back to his feet and fights out. Truth ducks a back elbow and both guys hit each other with crossbodies simultaneously. Both guys back up as Truth goes on the offense with clotheslines. Truth floats over, cartwheel and hits the hiptoss. Edge ducks a jumping kick and nails the Edgomatic. Edge now wants the Spear. Truth jumps over and Edge nails the turnbuckle. Edge avoids the Axe Kick and nails the Spear for the victory.

Winner: Edge (Nothing special about this, but it was pretty short and enjoyable. Truth looked to be on the same level of Edge and got in a solid amount of offense, while Edge got the win that he needed. No complaints here)

Edge says Sheamus can sit on the stupid little throne and brag about all the people he’s beat, but until he beats a 9 time champion, the man who led Team WWE to victory at Summerslam, the Rated R Superstar, he hasn’t beaten anybody.

-Tonight, John Cena faces off against The Miz.

-We get a video hyping Cody Rhodes on Warehouse 13.

-Cole and Lawler talk about WWE’s recent trip to China.

Match 2: The Great Khali (w/ Rajinh Singh) vs Chris Jericho

Jericho slaps Khali. Khali catches a right hand, picks up Jericho and drops him back down on his back. Elbow in the corner by Khali. And a big slap follows. Big right hand by Khali. Leg drop misses. Jericho stats stomping the knee. Jericho elbows the knee and locks in the submission. Khali fights out but Jericho goes back on the attack. Jericho puts the leg on the rope and jumps on it. Walls coming up, but Khali locks in the Vice Grip. Jericho immediately falls to the outside of the ring. Jericho runs back in and goes back on the attack. Codebreaker countered as Khali just dropped Jericho onto the mat. Big clothesline by Khali. And another. Scoop slam by Khali follows. Jericho avoids a boot in the corner and chop blocks the leg. Walls of Jericho are slowly, but surely, locked in. Khali has no choice but to tap.

Winner: Chris Jericho (Meh, I didn’t mind this that much. It was short and pretty inoffensive. Jericho’s offense consisted entirely of attacking the injured leg. Jericho came out of this looking like the dickish heel while getting a much needed win)

Jericho asks if Sheamus saw that. Edge wasn’t the first undisupted champ in the history of this business, he’s not the man who just made a giant tap out, and most importantly, Edge is not the best in the world. Sheamus has to choose Jericho as his next opponent. Khali gets back up and chops Jericho. Jericho falls to the outside and cringes in pain. (Was that really necessary?)

-We get a recap of the Bryan/Miz happenings from last week.

-Matthews is in the back with Cena. Cena doesn’t regret choosing Bryan over Miz at Summerslam. It was Miz who almost cost them the match. He showed his true colors last week again by attacking Bryan for no reason. Ever since Miz won MITB, his mouth has gotten bigger, so tonight, Cena will shut it with an Attitude Adjustment.

-Jillian Hall is in the ring. She says she’s been Diva’s Champion before, and she’s about to do it again tonight. She starts singing, and here comes Melina.

Match 3: Jillian Hall vs Diva’s Champion Melina

Tie up to start, and Jillian pushes Melina into the ropes. Forearm by Jillian. Melina with a kick. Jillian catches a kick and drops Melina down into a split. Melina goes for the knees in the ropes but Jillian avoids them. Pin but only two. Bow & arrow submission applied by Jillian. Jillian steps on the back of Melina. German attempt countered into a rolling facebuster. Melina matrix’s out of a clothesline and pulls Jillian down by the hair. Pin but only two. Melina floats over in the corner by Jillian bum rushes her to the ground. Jillian drops Melina down again and heads to the second rope. Diving leg drop misses. Last Call by Melina, and it’s over.

Winner: Melina (Decent match here, and you could tell they were both trying to put on a good match, but these two really don’t have much chemistry together. Plus, that botch by Jillian at the end kind of hurt this)

-LayCool show up on the tron. The say they took out Melina because next week is the 900th episode of Raw and LayCool is going to be there, and they have an offer Melina simply can’t refuse, because it’s flawless.

-Miz is in the back. Matthews asks him if cares to respond to Cena’s comments from earlier. Miz says he nailed Daniel Bryan in the back of the head, but what about Cena. He put Team WWE at risk, the minute he chose Bryan, a nobody, over him. Cena wants to talk about egos? Let’s talk about Miz’s egos. Sheamus was beaten down at Summerslam. But did Miz cash in MITB? No. He was thinking about Team WWE, the very least Cena could have done was talk to him backstage about his decision. But what did he do? Embarrassed him in front of the world. Tonight, Miz will show Cena there will be consequences for his actions. Miz doesn’t expect Sheamus to pick him for Night of Champions. But that doesn’t matter. Because Miz can pick Sheamus whenever he wants. Who knows, he might pick him tonight.

-Sheamus is shown sitting on his throne, and here comes the Nexus. Sheamus asks how they’re doing? Cole’s got an email.The GM requested Nexus to come out here because he was highly impressed with their performance last week. The ban that Nexus can’t compete for titles has been lifted. Barrett goes up to Sheamus and stares at the title. He says to consider their truce over. The Nexus walks off as Sheamus looks worried.

-Up next, Miz takes on Cena.

Match 4: United States Champion and Mr. Money In The Bank The Miz vs John Cena

Miz boots Cena in the gut and starts working him down. Miz with a hard irish whip, sending Cena flying into the corner. Cena starts fighting back. Sidewalk slam by Cena. Pin but only two. Miz avoids Cena in the corner, and Cena went shoulder first right into the ring post. Backsuplex by Miz. Pin but only two. Cena whips Miz into the corner and follows with the fisherman’s suplex. Pin but only two. Miz counters a backdrop with a kick, and then punts Cena in the gut. Leg drop by Miz. Miz covers but only gets two. Cena kicks Miz in the gut and hits the throwback. Cena goes up to the top, but Miz crotches him. Cena goes flying to the outside as we head to commercial.

We’re back, and Miz has Cena in a sleeper. Cena drives Miz back first into the corner to counter out. Cena goes for a bulldog but Miz sends Cena flying. Boot by Miz. Pin but only two. Miz with a knee lift to Cena’s head. Miz then slingshots Cena throat first onto the bottom rope. Pin but again only two. Miz hits that vintage clothesline in the corner. Pin but again only two. Miz goes for the clothesline again, but Cena avoids it. Shoulder block by Cena, and another. Big slam by Cena. You Can’t See Me! Five Knuckle Shuffle connects. Five Moves of Doom almost complete. Attitude Adjustment countered into a reverse DDT/backbreaker combo, followed by the neckbreaker. Pin but only two. Miz now waiting on Cena. Skull Crushing Finale countered into an armdrag. Drop toe hold by Cena, and the STF is locked in. Miz fights his way to the ropes, and he’s finally able to grab them. Cena charges Miz but gets killed with a boot. 1…2…2.9856! Miz goes for the Skull Crushign Finale again, but Cena counters into an AA attempt, but Miz slides out onto the apron. Miz bails out. Bryan runs out and blindsides Miz for the DQ.

Winner: The Miz (I really, really dug this match. Miz really looked on Cena’s level and totally held his own. Miz has really come far since his battles last year with Cena, as this was totally the opposite of those. As in Miz was in control for a majority of the match. Miz’s offense was great and there were moments you felt like he’d actually win, while Cena just did his thing. The crowd was totally into this too, making this a great TV match)

Bryan throws Miz back into the ring and Cena hits him with the Attitude Adjustment. Cena leaves the ring and Bryan enters. Crossface submission by Bryan. The officials are trying to pull him off, and they finally do.

-Later tonight, Randy Orton, Ted Dibiase and John Morrison do battle in a Triple Threat match.

Match 5: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs Jimmy and Jey Uso (w/ Tamina)

Santino and random Jimmy kick things off. Santino goes for the Cobra and Jimmy backs off. Tie up, and Jimmy gets a knee to the gut. Jey gets the tag. Scoop slam, followed by a leg drop. Pin but only two. Tag to Jimmy, and Santino gets a hiptoss. Dropkick misses and Jimmy starts dropping forearms. Pin but only two. Front facelock applied by Jimmy. Kozlov yelling for the tag is hilarious. Jimmy takes out Kozlov, but runs into a backdrop by Santino. Kozlov and Jey get the tags. Headbutt by Kozlov, and a boot follows. Kozlov with a running powerslam. He’s getting a little ahead of himself. Pin but Jimmy breaks it up. Santino clotheslines Jimmy over the top. Jey kicks Santino in the gut. Kozlov catches a superkick and nails the leg trap chokeslam for the win.

Winners: Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella (Wow, I never thought I’d say this, but a I think a team between Santino and Kozlov could work. Santino as the guy who gets beaten down and Kozlov as the guy to tear shit up. As for the match, it wasn’t much, mainly just a way to show off Kozlov/Santino while continuing the Santino/Tamina story.

Tamina tells Jimmy to back off of Santino. She then goes to check up on Santino before leaving ringside. She blows a kiss to Santino. God this is ridiculous.

Match 6: Million Dollar Champion Ted Dibiase (w/ Maryse) vs John Morrison vs Randy Orton – Triple Threat match

And I’m once again obligated to remind you that Maryse is indeed looking damn fine. Orton comes out to a pretty sizable pop. This match will start after the commercial break.

Morrison with a Flying Chuck Dibiase on the outside, and we’re down to Morrison and Orton. Shoulder block by Orton. Pin but only two. Sleeper locked in by Orton. Morrison fights out, but gets hit with another shoulderblock. Dropkick by Orton. Pin but Dibiase breaks it up, and tosses Morrison to the outside. Boot by Dibiase to Orton. Pin but only two. Dibiase choking Orton with his boot in the corner. Orton starts fighting back now.Orton runs off the ropes, and so does Dibiase. Orton turns around and gets killed with a clothesline. Backbreaker by Dibiase to Morrison. Morrison with a jawbreaker, and Orton hits Dibiase with a clotheslines. Scoop slam to Morrison. And one for Dibiase. Orton’s going crazy. He goes for the rope hung DDT on Dibiase, but Morrison goes for the Flying Chuck, but Orton ducks and nails the DDT. He wants the RKO. Dibiase pushes him off and Morrison hits that jumping high kick. Dibiase low bridges Morrison, sending him to the outsid.e Orton counters Dream Street with an armdrag. Morrison goes springboard but Orton kills him with an RKO for the win!

Winner: Randy Orton (The winner to this match was never in doubt, but these three played up the triple threat formula well and put on a pretty good TV main event)

Dibiase goes after Orton, but gets nailed with an RKO.

-Sheamus is in the back with Matthews. Sheamus says he doesn’t need to see more of Orton, because he’s made his decision. He’ll announce it out there in the ring. Sheamus walks off as we head to commercial.

-This Friday on Smackdown, Kofi Kingston challenges Dolph Ziggler for the Intercontinental Championship. Plus, Mysterio takes on Kane in singles action. Also, Undertaker makes his return. Where have I seen all of this before?

-Sheamus is in the ring. He says he’s been thinking about it for a while, and despite what happened last week, he’s still a warrior. He has a huge announcement tonight. He’s not going to wait until Night of Champions to defend his title, he’s going to defend it right now. So bring out a ref. He’s seen a lot of great competitors tonight, but the only reason he became champ was because of opportunity. Despite what he’s seen tonight, he’s going left field. He’s making a new number one contender a superstar who’s never held the title before. So his next opponent is… ZACK RYDER!!! Baw gawd!

Ryder has a mic and says he appreciates the offer, but Sheamus just made the biggest mistake of his life. You’re looking at the new WWE Champion. Woo Woo Woo, you know it.

Match 7: Zack Ryder vs Sheamus© – WWE Championship

The bell rings, and Sheamus nails Ryder with the Brogue Kick. 1…2…3!

Winner: Sheamus (Fantastic main event here. Ryder looked like he totally belonged and got in a good amount of offense. MOTY candidate. The Guns and Beer Money had nothing on this)

Sheamus says that’s another succesful retention for the Celtic Warrior. Now he’d like to take the time to reference some rules and regulations. He doesn’t have to defend the title for another 30 days. At Night of Champions, this champion is taking the night off. He might even take the whole month off. He’s gonna go back to Ireland and visit the family….Here comes Wade Barrett.

He says Sheamus is right, he doesn’t have to defend the title for 30 days. Barrett was the winner of Season 1 NXT. So that means he gets a title opportunity at a PPV of his choice. And he’s choosing to take it against Sheamus at Night of Champions. So his next title defense is against him. Cole’s got an email. The GM would like everyone to know that he has upheld Wade Barrett’s request. Sheamus will defend against Barrett at Night of Champions, but that’s not all. Earlier tonight Sheamus spoke of opportunity. The GM is giving an opportunity to not only Wade Barrett, but four other deserving superstars. At Night of Champions, Sheamus will defend the title in a Six Pack Challenge. Sheamus will not only face Wade Barrett, but also Chris Jericho! And here comes Jericho to the ring. Randy Orton. And here comes Orton to the ring. Edge! And here comes Edge to the ring. And John Cena! And here comes Cena. The five guys surround Barrett. Cena attacks him, and its’ a five on one beatdown. Sheamus throws Barrett out of the ring. Codebreaker to Sheamus. Spear to Jericho. Attitude Adjustment to Edge. RKO to Cena. Orton stands tall as we close out.

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