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Csonka’s GFW Impact Wrestling Review 7.13.17
Image Credit: Impact Wrestling
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Csonka’s GFW Impact Wrestling Review 7.13.17
OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Super X Cup Tournament Match: ACH defeated Andrew Everett @ 6:25 via pin [***¼]
– Octagoncito defeated Demus @ 4:00 via pin [**½]
– Impact Grand Championship Match: Naomichi Marufuji defeated Champion Moose @ 1:31 of round 3 via DQ [**]
– “X-Division Title Match”: “Champion” Trevor Lee defeated William Weeks @ 1:20 via pin [NR]
– Laurel Van Ness defeated Ava Storie @ 3:20 via pin [*½]
– Non-Title Match: Lashley & El Patron defeated Champions LAX (Santana & Ortiz) @ 13:45 via pin [**¾ ]
– Grado & Joseph Park arrive in an old beat up VW bug. Park explains that Grado is in danger of being deported, and Park Suggests he get married, and what better place to find a wife than in the Impact Zone and suggests a knockout.
Tune in RIGHT NOW!!! @PopTV #IMPACTonPOP @IMPACTWRESTLING @fightnet pic.twitter.com/w7m8DwZPls
— Joseph Park (@JOSEPHPARK_esq) July 14, 2017
– We get highlights from last week, where LAX jumped Lashley and announced that Alberto El Patron was joining LAX.
LAX IS HERE: Konnan says he promised a new member of LAX last week, and introduces Alberto El Patron. Patron makes his way out to the ring, and calls Konnan “Carlos” and says that they have done it all together, but last week was crap when Konnan said that Patron was joining LAX. “I’m a leader not a follower Carlos.” Konnan says they have always been proud of him, but their people have been treated poorly (he mentions WWE by saying Stanford) and held down. Konnan wants him to join his familia. Patron says he doesn’t forget what happened, but has moved on. He’s a loaner, and Konnan has become bitter. Konnan says he has family here and shouldn’t listen to the idiot fans, they can start a revolution together. Patron says they are friends, and refuses to join him. LAX attacks and beats down Patron. Lashley’s music hits and he takes out LAX, wanting revenge for last week. He cleans house and hands Patron his belt. Some good fire in the promo, which played as a good follow up to last week. Lashley “helping” made sense, in that he wasn’t so much helping Patron, but was getting revenge and returning the mutual respect.
– We get highlights of the PULSE nightclub tribute as well as the Orlando Mayor proclaiming IMPACT Wrestling Day.
Super X Cup Tournament Match: ACH vs. Andrew Everett: After a basic back and forth, they pick up the pace with Everett taking control. ACH tries to cut him off, but Everett hits the dropkick. ACH pulls out some flippity doos, hits a dropkick and they battle for position, but Everett hits a superkick for the near fall. Everett then hits the springboard missile dropkick and hits a moonsault to the floor. They work back into the ring, ACH trips up Everett, hits the double stomp and then sends Everett to the floor and hits a plancha. ACH counters a springboard into a German, hits a lariat but walks into a PELE; Everett hits mount Everett for a near fall. Everett up top and misses the attack, but hits the superkick only for ACH to hit the brainbuster for the win. ACH defeated Andrew Everett @ 6:25 via pin [***¼] Good back and forth sprint here, they delivered a fun outing and kept the crowd invested. This was a lot of fun.
And with that win… Congrats @GoGoACH on advancing. pic.twitter.com/zWJF8ruqZO
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) July 14, 2017
Gail Kim Talks: Borash gives Kim a big introduction, and brings her to the ring. Kim thanks all the fan and says she got injured last year. She is grateful to work with the most talented and respected people in this business. She gave her body, mind and soul to wrestling and has no regrets. 2017 will be her last year in wrestling and she will retire from the ring. She thanks all of the girls she worked with, Impact Wrestling, and the fans for their support. She wouldn’t be here without them. Tonight is not the end, and she plans on going out on top. This was a fine little speech from Kim, but I fear that once she’s back, the division will revolve all around here once again and that anything they built with Rosemary & Sienna will be forgotten.
– Chins Adonis arrives and talks shit with POP TV’s Swole Mates. The Swole Mates get into the ring and argue with Adonis. Adonis wants to have a pose off with them. Eli Drake arrives and we have an argument. It then ends. Network synergy.
Octagoncito vs. Demus: Demus is the bigger man and looks to use his power advantage early. Octagoncito picks up the pace, hitting a satellite head scissors and a plancha to the floor. Back in and Octagoncito hits a springboard high cross. Demus finally cuts him off, hitting a powerslam and then a version of the dominator for 2. Demus takes control, but it didn’t last long as Octagoncito hit a RANA off the ropes and a moonsault to the floor. Back in and Octagoncito hit the RANA into a cradle for the near fall. He then hit another cradle and picked up the win. Octagoncito defeated Demus @ 4:00 via pin [**½] Pretty good and fun little sprint, I am shocked that Jarrett and Dutch didn’t resort to 1970s minis humor here. With that being said, I didn’t find it to be a good use of TV time when so many others struggle for air time.
– Grado talks to the entire knockouts roster and tries to get a date, repeatedly failing. Park then gives him champagne, and chocolates to try and help him out.
https://twitter.com/totaldivaseps/status/885663840121364480
– We get some old school footage of Matt Sydal in TNA.
– EC3 is out to watch the match.
– Dutch, Prichard and D’Amore are the judges.
Impact Grand Championship Match: Champion Moose vs. Naomichi Marufuji: Moose uses his power early, they then work into a series of counters; Moose cuts off a RANA and then hits the big boot. Moose follows with the big backdrop, that gets a near fall but Marufuji fires back with chops, but Moose hits a pop up powerbomb and senton for 2. Moose beats down Marufuji in the corner as the round ends. Moose wins round one 29-28. Moose hits a bicycle kick as round two starts, but misses the run up the ropes high cross, which allows Marufuji to lay in chops. Marufuji takes out the knee, but kicks out at 1. Marufuji goes back to the chops and hits a running elbow attack in the corner. Moose goes back to the bicycle kick, but Marufuji lights him up with strikes and kicks. Moose dropkicks Marufuji to the floor and the round ends. Marufuji wins round 2 29-28. Commercial time. Final round now, they work back and forth as Moose hits another bicycle kick and runs wild, hitting the hesitation dropkick for 2. Marufuji starts to fire back with kicks and knee strikes. EC3 then runs in and attacks Marufuji with the ring bell for the DQ. Moose fights off EC3 and stands tall. Naomichi Marufuji defeated Champion Moose @ 1:31 of round 3 via DQ [**] The grand championship matches continue to be flat and have no excitement to them at all. This was a complete waste of Marufuji’s skills, and worse than that, you didn’t even get Moose a win over an international star. The only good that came from this was continuing the Moose vs. EC3 feud that was started last week.
– Konnan wants LAX to send a message tonight and send paTron out on a stretcher. He also wants Lashley taken out the same way.
– Trevor Lee is out, claiming to be the X-Division champion (he stole the belt last week) and plans to be a fighting champion, and introduces super jobber William Weeks. He will defend the title here tonight.
X-Division Title Match: “Champion” Trevor Lee vs. William Weeks: The bell rings and Lee runs wild, still wearing the belt because he fears thieves. We see an angry Dutt backstage, trying to get to the ring. Lee picks up the easy win. “Champion” Trevor Lee defeated William Weeks @ 1:20 via pin [NR] This was here for the continuation of Dutt vs. Lee.
– Dutt arrives and attacks, but Lee retreats with the title.
Laurel Van Ness vs. Ava Storie: Storie controls right away, going for pinning combos and grounding LVN. Storie does the body scissors roll around the ring, and LVN is dizzy and falls down, allowing Storie to get a near fall. LVN finally fights back, cutting Storie off and curb stomping her to the buckles. LVN keeps control, choking her out in the ropes and then misses her curb stomp. Storie fights back with the neck breaker and sends LVN to the floor. Storie drags her back in, but LVN cuts her off and hits a draping DDT and then the curb stomp to the back, which never looks good, and wins. Laurel Van Ness defeated Ava Storie @ 3:20 via pin [*½] Storie looked better than in her last appearance, but this was far from good and was only here to set up the Grado angle.
– Joseph Park leads out Grado, he introduces himself to Laurel and tells her that she’s the most beautiful creature he’s ever seen. Laurel’s reactions were actually really great as Grado praises her and then asks her out on a date. But before Laurel can answer, Kongo Kong is out for the good old-fashioned cock block. Grado runs away.
Non-Title Match: Champions LAX (Santana & Ortiz) vs. Lashley and Alberto E Patron: Ortiz and Lashley to begin, Lashley takes control with ease and hits the delayed suplex. Patron rolls Ortiz back in as he tried to run, allowing Lashley to keep control and tags in Patron. Patron kept control until Santana tagged in and LAX then worked double teams to slow Patron down, and as we took a commercial break, LAX was in control. Post break, Patron started to fight back but LAX sent Lashley to the floor and kept the heat on Patron. Patron hit the Guerrero special superplex and got the hot tag to Lashley. Lashley ram wild, bringing some excitement to the match. Diamante distracted Lashley, allowing Homicide to stun Lashley of the ropes and LAX sent him to the floor, where Homicide attacked again. Back in the ring and LAX takes Lashley to their corner, and continued to work double teams. They really are such a good team. Lashley finally was able to fight back and hits a running high cross to both and tags in Patron. Patron in and is the old house of fire, hitting lariats back stabbers and picking up near falls. Lashley takes out Ortiz and then double team Santana with a neck breaker/double stomp combo and pick up the win. Lashley & El Patron defeated Champions LAX (Santana & Ortiz) @ 13:45 via pin [**¾] This was a pretty good match, but I absolutely hated the “all star team” beating the tag team champions, that they have worked so hard to establish. You have LAX go undefeated, win two sets of tag titles and then burn their first major loss on this. Lashley’s motivations worked here, he wanted revenge for last week’s attack and realized he had to work with Patron to get it. But once he got his revenge, he decided that he was done being a stand up fellow and walked instead of jumping into a 5-2 attack situation. He likes revenge, but doesn’t give a shit about Patron, only about getting another shot at the title. Lashley is so fucking good, and I hate that they took the title off of him for the new toy.
– Post match, Patron says they make an awesome team. LAX jumps Patron and Lashley says fuck it and bails, allowing LAX to beat the shit out of Patron and stand tall.
– End scene.
– Thanks for reading.
“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”
