Csonka’s MLW: Battle Riot 2018 Review

Csonka’s MLW: Battle Riot 2018 Review

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Kotto Brazil defeated Myron Reed @ 9:05 via pin [***]
– MLW MIDDLEWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: MJF defeated Joey Ryan @ 7:55 via pin to become the first champion [**]
– THE 40 MAN BATTLE RIOT: Tom Lawlor won @ 57:31 [**½]

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– Follow all of my reviews at this link.

– Tony Schiavone and Matt Striker (replacing Rich Boccini) are the commentary team.

Kotto Brazil vs. Myron Reed: They work into some fast paced back and forth, Brazil hits the dropkick and Reed cuts him off and hits the seated senton for 2. Reed follows with chops, but Brazil cuts him off with a corner clothesline. The corner dropkick follows and that gets 2. Brazil grounds the action, either the crowd is dead here or they aren’t mic’d well at all. They pick up the pace and both go for a high cross, collide, and we get a double down. Brazil fires up with knee strikes and hits a draping dropkick. The suicide dive follows. Brazil hits a second, and then Reed back in and cuts off the third with a dropkick. Reed then follows with a tope and back in, Reed hits a springboard elbow for 2. Brazil fights back, drives Reed to the buckles and follows with a German for 2. Brazil heads up top and drops back down and locks on a cloverleaf variation. Reed fights, and barely makes the ropes. Brazil follows with knee strikes, and they trade big rights and Reed hits a cutter for a good near fall. Reed up top and the 450 eats knees and Brazil cradles him for 2. Reed now counters a suplex into a stunner, but Brazil quickly hits a running sliced bread for the win. Kotto Brazil defeated Myron Reed @ 9:05 via pin [***] This was a good, back and forth, fat paced match to kick off the show.

– MJF runs down Ryan ahead of their middleweight title bout.

– Konnan comments on working tonight’s battle riot match.

– We get a promo for LA PARK coming to MLW in October.

– Joey Ryan says he had to cut 5 pounds to make weight for tonight’s title match, including dropping lollipops and baby oil to do so. He’s bringing sleazy back.

– Team Filthy picks their numbers for tonight’s battle riot match.

MLW MIDDLEWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: MJF vs. Joey Ryan: This is to crown the first ever MLW Middleweight Champion. Ryan goes sleazy to begin, and the crowd wants MJF to “touch his dick.” They lock up and MJF tries to ground things, and they separate. MJF wants a handshake, Ryan refuses and Ryan then hits a dropkick. MJF quickly cuts him off, hits divorce court, and starts working the arm. MJF grounds the action, and then covers for 2. Ryan battles back and hits a suplex for a double down. MJF misses a charge, and Ryan fires up with clotheslines and elbows. The spinebuster follows for 2. MJF now cuts him off, double stomps the arm and the cradled side slam gets 2. They trade strikes now, MJF spits at Ryan, and then pokes his eye. They collide and MJF falls face first onto Ryan’s dick. Ryan fires up and uses his dick for offense, and the superkick gets 2. Ryan pulls out a lollipop, and shoves it in MJF’s mouth. MJF pokes the eyes and hits a package shoulder breaker and win. MJF defeated Joey Ryan @ 7:55 via pin to become the first champion [**] This was ok at best, but not the match I would have put on to crown the first middleweight champion. There was too much slapstick and it just never really got going.

– MJF cuts a post match promo, runs down the crowd and Ryan, and puts himself over tells the vets that he always was a star and now he’s a super nova. He then makes basement dweller jokes on the fans, because he’s better than them all.

– Sami and his goons (Sawyer Fulton & Leon Scott) pick their battle riot numbers.

– Hornswoggle picks his battle riot number.

– We get a video package on Shane Strickland’s tile run and eventual loss to Low Ki. Ki and Salina arrive and Ki comments on his title win. He’s here to bring the fight, and will fight anyone. Winning this title was his destiny, fulfilling the prophecy of Gary Hart in the original MLW. Ki claims he runs this place.

THE 40 MAN BATTLE RIOT: The winner gets a MITB style world title opportunity. This is a no DQ, anything goes match, with eliminations coming by pin, submission, or over the top rope. There are 60-second intervals for entry. MLW tag team champions and brothers Pentagon & Fenix are 1 & 2. They shake hands and Pentagon attacks. We get some fun back and forth, and into a double down. #3 is Brody King. King runs wild until e brothers cut him off and work double teams. #4 is Kenny Doane. He dances and eats superkicks. Kenny and King start to work together, and #5 is Tom Lawlor. He immediately looks to choke out King and subs him for the elimination. Lawlor attacks Pentagon and #6 is Lane Anoa’i. Fenix cuts him off attacks Kenny. #7 is Rey Horus. He runs wild right away with kicks until Pentagon attacks. Post break and #8 is Kevin Sullivan. He starts attacking with the old golden spike until Lawlor chokes him out for the elimination. #9 is Fallah Bahh. Horus attacks him, lays in kicks, but Bahh cuts him off and wipes him out with a running cross body. #10 is Swoggle. He bites Bahh’s ass and then Germans Kenny. German to Fenix and then to Pentagon. One for Horus as well but Lance attacks and #11 is Headshrinker Samu. He runs wild with head butts, and then he and Lance attack Bahh. Lance tosses Samu, and #12 is ACH. ACH beats down Swoggle and laughs until Swoggle cuts him off with eye pokes and chops. #13 is Konnan. Konnan takes down Horus, and then gets tequila sunrise on Lawlor. ACH breaks it up and #14 is Barrington Hughes. He and Bahh have the big man stand off. Swoggle gets involved, but Lawlor chokes him out. #15 is Jimmy Yuta. Hughes pins Lance, Kenny, and Konnan in short order as Pentagon, Fenix, & Bahh are all eliminated over the top. #16 is Kotto Brazil as we get random brawling. #17 is Richard Holiday. Hughes cuts him off and lays in chops. #18 is Fred Yehi and he runs wild, beating down Brazil and he and Lawlor work double teams., eliminating Brazil. Some of the guys try to swarm Hughes as #19 is Jason Cade. He and Yuta brawl right away, Hughes does the roar spot and tosses Horus. They all swarm Hughes and everyone but Lawlor spill out with him. #20 is Teddy Hart. Hart immediately moonsaults to the floor onto the pile, eliminating himself. Ok.

Post break, and #21 is Vandal Ortagun. Lawlor immediately arm bars him, thanks for coming. #22 is Mikey Mondo. Lawlor immediately chokes him out. #23 is PCO. Lawlor attacks with kicks and strikes, and follows with ground and pound .#24 is LA Smooth. He attacks PCO, but PCO fire back with a lariat and pins Smooth. #25 is Simon Gotch. Team Filthy attacks now, working double teams and #26 is Homicide. He works over PCO as Team Filthy backs off. They brawl as #27 is Davey Boy Smith Jr. Team Filthy attacks Smith fights them off until Gotch hits a head kick. #28 is Blue Meanie. The bWo music still kicks ass. He dances, and Homicide attack and tosses him. PCO was tossed and #29 is Michael Patrick of the Dirty Blondes. It breaks down into a big brawl as #30 Is Sami Callihan. He tosses Homicide and the rest brawl.

Post break and #31 is Sawyer Fulton. He and Sami attack together but Smith fights them off. #32 is Shane Strickland. He attacks Sami right away, but Fulton cuts him off and Sami low blows Strickland. Sami rakes the eyes and #33 is Callihan goon Leon Scott. He joins in on beating down Strickland, and they then toss Smith. #34 is Drago. Drago runs wild with kicks, but gets cut off. Slow brawling follows as #35 is Leo Bryan of the Dirty Blondes. The Blondes attack Gotch, but he fights off elimination. #36 is Joey Ryan. He attacks Sami, almost tosses him, and the mass brawl continues. #37 is MJF. He and Ryan brawl, but Lawlor & Goth eliminate them. #38 is Jake Hager. He and the Blondes attack Sami’s crew and toss Scott. #39 is John Hennigan. He runs and flies into the ring and attacks Sami. He tosses a dirty blonde.

#40 is Jimmy Havoc. He and Drago trade kicks, Havoc tossed Drago. Strickland hits a double stomp, and the other blonde is tossed. Hager attacks Lawlor, and Hennigan rolls up Sawyer for the elimination. Post break, and we get some roll ups and Havoc is tossed. Strickland and Sami brawl to the apron and Sami low blows him and hits an apron piledriver for the elimination. Lawlor chokes out Sami and he’s eliminated. Hager tosses Hennigan and we’re down to Lawlor & Hager. Hager takes him down, lays the boots to him and hits a powerslam for 2. Lawlor gets a hanging triangle and tires to pull Hager out, but Hager pulls him back in and hits a powerbomb for 2. Lawlor hangs onto the ropes with all he has, slips back in and looks to toss Hager. Lawlor hits a German and both men are down. Back to the feet and they brawl, Lawlor fires up with kicks, takes Hager down and keeps laying in kicks. The running kick follows for 2. Lawlor grabs a choke, Hager fights and starts to fade as Lawlor is on his back and pulls him down. Hager escapes and counters into an ankle lock. Lawlor fights with up kicks, and then tries to work up the ropes to escape. Lawlor fights, works up the ropes and tries to pull Hager over the ropes and finally does for the elimination and the win. Tom Lawlor won @ 57:31 [**½] At the end of the day, MLW hyped battle riot well, but in the execution, it came off as a solid/average match. It lacked the wildness and charm of the Spring Break Clusterfuck match (which I am not a big fan of but does have some charm to it), and never attained the wildness and fun of Aztec Warfare. It felt like a lethargic Royal Rumble, and more specifically, the bloated 40-man one, which was a fear of mine going in. The layout never felt locked in, the eliminations were largely careless in execution and layout, and while there were a few fun moments, the only real take away from the match was the booking and performance of Tom Lawlor, who continues to be the best part of the MLW product overall. It felt every bit as long as it was and maybe more.

– Matt Striker now interviews Lawlor. Lawlor says that he’s the top combat sports athlete in the world. He now has a world title shot when he wants it, and he plans to change the L in MLW to “Lawlor,” so that it’s Major Lawlor Wrestling.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”

6.0

The final score: review Average

The 411

The rebirth of MLW in 2018 has been cool and unexpected, as they are delivering a solid weekly show that is a hybrid of the super indie and WCW 605 Saturday Night. The show is solid, usually entertaining, and the beIN Sports deal is obviously a huge deal. The fact that they were given this two-hour special shows how much beIN Sports values them. I generally like and appreciate the product, but am still waiting for them to give me a reason for the shows to be must-see. With so much out there to choose from, I feel that you need to be more than solid to good. This battle riot special was a big chance for them to impress, and while not bad at all, I just found it to be solid but lacking.