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Csonka’s WWE Battleground 2017 Review

July 23, 2017 | Posted by Larry Csonka
Cage Crashers - The Great Khali and Jinder Mahal
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Csonka’s WWE Battleground 2017 Review  

Csonka’s WWE Battleground 2017 Review

Kickoff Match: Aiden English defeated Tye Dillinger @ 9:39 via pin [**]
Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: New Day defeated Champions The Usos @ 13:59 via pin to become the new champions [****]
– Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Baron Corbin @ 12:35 via DQ [**½]
Fatal 5 Way Elimination #1 Contender’s Match: Natalya won @ 10:55 via pin [**]
WWE US Title Match: Kevin Owens defeated Champion AJ Styles @ 17:45 via pin to become the new champion [**½]
Flag Match: John Cena defeated Rusev @ 21:00 [DUD]
– Sami Zayn defeated Mike Kanellis @ 7:17 via pin [**¼]
Punjabi Prison WWE Championship Match: Champion Jinder Mahal defeated Randy Orton @ 27:45 [DUD]

Kickoff Match: Aiden English vs. Tye Dillinger: They worked a basic back and forth, with English initially taking control but Tye quickly fought back and flashed the 10 at him. This is a true battle of bad hairlines as the ref backs off Tye, allowing English to get in a cheap shot and take control of the match. English is showing a more aggressive side, taking the heat so of course just as the crowd seemingly gets into it they go to a break. Post break, English was covering for 2 but Tye kicked out at 2. English slow things down and works a headlock, grounding Tye. English heads up top and jumps into a dropkick. Tye then fired up with chops, strikes and knees. A clothesline followed, but English bails to the floor. Tye follows to the floor, English cuts him off and then walks into a spinebuster for a near fall. Tye sets English up top, but English fights him off and head butts him to the mat. English hits a high cross but Tye rolls through and covers for 2. English fights off the Tye breaker and hits a face first DDT for 2. English gets frustrated, mocks Tye and pulls him up and Tye escapes and they trade pin attempts. Tye fires up, gets slammed to the buckles and English hits an unnamed flatliner for the win. Aiden English defeated Tye Dillinger @ 9:39 via pin [**]
This was a perfectly solid, but unspectacular kickoff match.

– Jinder Mahal arrived earlier today.

– We get an Orton vs. Mahal video package.

Smackdown Tag Team Championship Match: Champions The Usos vs. The New (Kofi & Woods): Kofi hits a dropkick at the bell, and that allows New Day to run wild. Blind tag by the Usos and they cut of Woods and beat him down in their corner. An Uso hits an enziguri, cutting Woods off and quick tags by the Usos follow. The corner ass splash follows for a near fall as the Usos easily maintain control. A version of the Demolition decapitation follows as the Usos continue to beat on Woods. Woods is set up top and he eats rights and chops, Jey is allegedly in and follows him up. Woods fights him off, he hits head butts and sends Jey to the mat. Woods then hits the missile dropkick, and Jimmy and Kofi tag in. Kofi runs wild, hits the boom drop and then hits a PK to Jey and tosses Jimmy to the floor. Kofi up top and gets caught on the trust fall dive and powerbombed to the floor. They then take out Woods, roll him back in and Jimmy heads up top. He misses and rolls through the splash, allowing Woods to hit a wheelbarrow driver for a good near fall. Jimmy cuts off the honor roll and hits the Blu-ray, and the Usos follow with the pop up Samoan drop for the near fall. Woods fights back, cuts off Jey and takes out Jimmy. Woods follows with the ropewalk elbow drop but jumped into a sliding superkick for a great near fall! Jimmy locks in the tequila sunrise on Woods, but Jimmy transitions to the half crab and pulls Woods center ring. Woods struggles and finally makes the ropes. Kofi blind tags in and the double team double stomp connects, scoring a good near fall. Kofi looks to head up top, now goes springboard but misses, eats a superkick and Jey hits the superfly splash for another great near fall! The crowd is locked in, the Usos go up top and Woods shoves Jey off and Kofi avoids the splash from Jimmy. Kofi’s trouble in paradise and then the Woods ropewalk elbow drop connect and we have new champions! New Day defeated Champions The Usos @ 13:59 via pin to become the new champions [****] This was a great opening match, even better than their last match which was really good. The teams work really well together, delivered some good and then absolutely great near falls, had the crowd invested and didn’t overstay their welcome. I just hope that the show doesn’t peak there.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Baron Corbin: Corbin talks trash to begin, Nakamura attacks and we’re off. Nakamura works kicks, which cause Corbin to powder to the floor. Nakamura follows, Corbin back in and talks trash again. Corbin then catches Nakamura as he comes back in, working strikes and then laying the boots to him. Corbin slows things down, working a bear hug. Nakamura escapes and looks to lock in a triangle, but Corbin powers out and hits the big boot, covering for 2. Corbin sends Nakamura to the floor and continues to attack the back of Nakamura. Corbin works the heat as we’re back in the ring, and he goes back to the bear hug. Corbin banters with the crowd as he continues to work over Nakamura with the bear hug. Nakamura fights off the chokeslam, and connects with a spin kick. Nakamura continues to make a comeback, finally taking Corbin down and then working him over in the corner. Nakamura lays Corbin in the corner, hits the running knee strike and covers for 2. Corbin does the bossman slide out and back in, hitting a lariat for the near fall. Nakamura again battled back, countering a suplex and laying in knee strikes. The gut buster suplex followed, Nakamura sets for Kinshasa but Corbin counters into deep six for a good near fall. They trade strikes, Nakamura follows with head butts and then hits a sloppy backstabber and follows with the running kick. More kicks by Nakamura follow, he backs off, Corbin is down and Nakamura sets for Kinshasa. Nakamura is stupid and check on Corbin, and Corbin low blows him for the DQ. Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Baron Corbin @ 12:35 via DQ [**½] Give no fucks Baron Corbin bantering the crowd and kicking Nakamura’s balls into his stomach were amusing. I get the finish, you don’t want to pigeon hole Corbin as a loser with a briefcase like many others, so he reverts to his asshole side, takes the DQ loss while Nakamura got to look strong. Although you could easily make the argument if neither man should lose then simply don’t book the fucking match. It’s not great, but I get it. The match was rather average, no peaks and valleys, no drama and it never really felt like it got going to me; it was flat. At least Corbin came off like the asshole he’s supposed to be.

– Post match, Nakamura holds his balls so Corbin hits him with the briefcase and hits end of days to stand tall.

– Naomi joins us for commentary.

Fatal 5 Way Elimination #1 Contender’s Match: Charlotte Flair vs. Lana vs. Becky Lynch vs. Tamina vs. Natalya: Everyone brawls at the bell, with Charlotte beating down Lana and then Tamina taking out Charlotte & Becky. Lana tripped up Becky, took her to the floor and then pulled Natalya to the floor and talked shit. She and Tamina attacked Charlotte back in the ring, double teaming her and easily controlling things. Lana directs Tamina to continue the attack, but Charlotte fights back only to eat a kick as Tamina grabbed her leg to help Lana. They work a long heat on Charlotte until Becky makes the save to even the odds. She and Charlotte hit suplexes to clear the ring and then they battle back and forth, with charlotte cutting her off with a neck breaker, but Natalya is finally back from her nap to break that up. Becky hits the XPLODER, Lana in and XPLODER for her. Tamina back in and she fights off Becky, hits the superkick and then takes out Natalya. Charlotte back in, figure four countered by Natalya. The lariat follows, and Natalya locks in the sharp shooter and Lana breaks it up and covers Charlotte for 2. Becky back in, locks in the disarmher on Lana, but Tamina makes the save and hits the Samoan drop and spears Charlotte to the floor. Lana covers Becky but Becky back to the arm bar and Tamina makes the save again. Becky catches Tamina with the arm bar and Tamina taps at 8:00. Becky then taps Lana @ 8:20. Natalya rolls up Becky with the tights at 8:30. We’re down to Natalya and Charlotte. Charlotte slowly powers up Natalya and powerbombs her for the near fall. Natalya up top but the moonsault eats knees, but it looked pretty as hell. Natalya slams Charlotte to the buckles and then covers for the win. Natalya won @ 10:55 via pin [**] I’m never really a fan of the rapid fire eliminations, even if they come off well, it just makes the match feel too rushed and thrown together for me. There were some fun portions here, but it never really felt like a strongly laid out or executed match. It was ok. It’s also hard to care about the division with so many multi-person matches as of late.

– Post match, Naomi offers her a handshake, but Natalya walks away.

US Title Match: Champion AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens: Owens attacks at the bell, controlling until Styles hits an arm drag and sends him to the floor. Owens back in, but as soon as Styles threatens to take control; he powders to the floor again. Back in and Styles hits the dropkick and Owens bails once again. Styles follows to the floor for some brawling, but Owens cut him off and posts Styles balls first. Back in and Owens hits the senton for 2 and takes the heat on Styles, working a chinlock and bantering with the crowd. Styles slowly works to his feet, but Owens drags him back to the mat. Styles keeps trying to fight back, but Owens cuts him off. Styles then blocks the senton, fires up with strikes but Owens plants him with a DDT. Owens tries again to keep Styles grounded, but Styles again lays in strikes and kicks and then levels Owens with the lariat. Styles follows with the sliding forearm and then the corner splash. Owens battles back, but Styles hits the wheelbarrow slam for 2. Styles tries to pick up Owens, but then transitions and blocks the superkick, teases the clash but Owens stun guns him off the ropes for 2. Styles then hit the ushigorishi for 2. Styles looks for the springboard 450, but eats knee, and Owens covers for 2. Owens followed with the cannonball, again, covering for 2. Owens is frustrated now, sets Styles up top and follows him up. They battle for position, Styles looks for the sunset bomb but then gets the torture rack and hits the torture rack bomb for 2. Styles up top now, but Owens crotches him. Owens follows him up and Styles fights, slips out and slams Owens off the buckles. The springboard avoided by Owens, sliding to the floor and trips up Styles on the apron. Owens then hits divorce court, targeting the shoulder that Styles is favoring. Styles hits the desperation PELE, looks for the clash but the shoulder gave out and Owens tosses him into the ref for the ref bump. UGH Owens hits the superkick, but Styles counters the pop up powerbomb into the calf crusher but the ref is down. Owens counters out into the crossface on the bad shoulder. Styles fights out ad then he locks in a crossface. Owens fights, and they cradle each other for the double pin. But the ref awards the match to Owens. Kevin Owens defeated Champion AJ Styles @ 17:45 via pin to become the new champion [**½] This was a flat and disappointing match that lost the crowd down the stretch. The ref bump and shit finish did it no favors either, but there were issues before that. I really expected much more here, but instead they did a TV finish to set up a rematch with a likely stipulation. These two don’t need bullshit, just give then the time, a good finish and let them do their thing; WWE failed to do that here.

– The Singhs meet with Mahal, and apologize that they can’t be there for him tonight. Mahal plans to end Orton and retain his title.

Flag Match: Rusev vs. John Cena: You have to get your flag, take it up the ramp and place it on your country’s pedestal. I just want to take the time to thank John Cena for defending us against the Bulgarian (who is only evil because of that) who seems to be a nice fellow and is just trying to live the American dream. Slow beginning with both battling for their flags, they battled up top and Cena hit a bulldog off the ropes and then climbed. Rusev cut him off with the electric chair drop. Rusev takes control, beating on Cena in the corner. So not only are we working an outdated relic of a stipulation form the 80s, we’re using the Nikolai Volkoff vs. Corporal Kirschner match style as well. The crowd cares so little that there is just random noise in the background, they care so little that they can’t even muster up “Lets Go Cena/Cena Sucks” chants; thankfully the crowd was so quiet that I could hear Cena call his comeback to Rusev. Rusev stopped that, climbed but Cena stopped him from getting his flag and sent him to the mat. Cena went for the fameasser off the top and ate a powerbomb. Rusev got his flag and then posted himself, running into an AA after that. The crowd starts to show a bit of life a Cena climbs for the flag but Rusev cuts him off, only to get caught in the STF. Rusev taps but it doesn’t matter due to the stipulation. Cena gets his flag but walks into the superkick, dropping the flag on the ground. Rusev grabs his flag and starts to head up the ramp, but gets cut off and slammed to the steps. Cena grabs the US flag and heads up the ramp. Rusev cuts that off and he slams Cena to the steps. Rusev then hits him with the steps, he tried to head up the ramp and he and Cena brawl up the ramp without their flags. Cena runs off the pedestal, but Rusev catches him and hits the sack of shit slam. Rusev sets up tables, take Cena on top of the US podium and they battle for position and Cena escapes. Cena grabs the flag, but gets cut off as this continues to go on and on and on. Cena looks to plant the flag, but Rusev hits him with the flag stand and applies the accolade. Rusev grabs the flag, looks to plant it but Cena stops him and they continue to battle. Cena escapes the accolade, walks Rusev up the steps and AAs him through a table. He plants the flag and wins. John Cena defeated Rusev @ 21:00 [DUD] This in no way was good on any level, in fact, it was absolutely atrocious. You have Cena & Rusev, both making their PPV returns and you stick them with this horrible, past its expiration date stipulation, which outside of a handful of matches, has historically sucked. This lacked heat, it lacked drama, it lacked any and every reason to care and just sucked the life from the crowd and myself. It felt as if it would never end. Bad flag teases, lackadaisical brawling, and once again, the company didn’t put two capable performers in position to succeed, they set them up to fail and they did. The crowd loved the final 10 seconds or so, unfortunately the match lasted 21-minutes. There was nothing good about this match other than the fact that it ended. This was bad, and WWE should feel bad for booking the match. It was absolute shit.

– We see the Fashion Police in their office, hoping to find out who has been messing with them for months. The Ascension arrive and say it was them, but aren’t very convincing. They joke about it being a let down, but Fandango says they weren’t even at the show last week because they were at the Eddie Money concert they had tickets for. The lights go out and Fandango gets a flashlight, but Breeze is laid out. Fandango is then attacked, and is dragged out of the office. This must continue.

Sami Zayn vs. Mike Kanellis: Kanellis beat Sami on Smackdown in around three-minutes last week. Sami runs wild early, attacking with grounded punches and then working over Kanellis in the corner. Sami then sent him to the floor, but Maria saved Mike from the dive and yelled at Sami. Mike hits a big right to Sami, back in and Kanellis hits a clothesline for 2. Kanellis works the heat, laying in the rights on Sami. Clotheslines and a big boot follow, and Kanellis covers for 2. Mike then takes time to give Maria a kiss, and grounds Sami. Sami fires back, hitting clotheslines and then a backdrop. Sami tosses Kanellis to the floor and follows with a tope. Back in and Sami hits a high cross for 2. The tornado DT follows, and Maria in to save Mike like on Smackdown. Sami foolishly argues with her, but manages to hit the XPLODER into the corner, the helluva and Kanellis is done. Sami Zayn defeated Mike Kanellis @ 7:17 via pin [**¼] While I am happy to see Sami get a PPV win, it really doesn’t make sense. They brought Kanellis in, were slow to follow up and he picks up a win on Smackdown and is then immediately going 50/50 with someone. Like I said when he debuted, he feels like a low card dude who is obviously not the star of the act, and nothing they have done has changed my mind. This was a solid buffer match, with Sami working really hard to try and make something of it, but he didn’t have much to work with.

Punjabi Prison WWE Championship Match: Champion Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton: They brawl right away, Mahal calls for an inner door to be opener, and they fight to escape, but fail as the time ends and the door is closed forever and gets chained up. Mahal hits divorce court and starts to work on the arm of Orton, which is actually a sound strategy so Orton can’t climb the cage. Mahal slowly works the arm, calls for another door to be opened and Orton fights back, hitting a sack of shit slam and then crawls for the Door. The time ends and the second door is closed forever and gets chained up. Mahal tries to climb out, but Orton pulls him back in and then slams Mahal to the cage. Mahal then slams Orton to the cage, the announcers are trying to sell the violence of the match as the fans chant “Delete” & Trust The Process.” Orton “suplexes” Mahal against the cage a few times, which looked like he just stood him up along the cage with no real impact. The third door is opened, and we do 60-seconds of heatless and bland fighting for the door. Mahal at least smartly uses the arm to cut off Orton and the third door closes forever and is now locked. We’re 11-minutes in and we’re now getting some “lets go Jinder” chants. Orton hits the snap slam and draping DDT. Orton has the final door opened, but Mahal cuts him off with a knee strike. Orton then counters the khallas with the RKO, but the Singhs arrive and pull Mahal to the floor and the 4th door is locked now. Mahal climbs the outer cage, Orton climbs the inner cage and jumps to the outer cage (all of that with ease, fucking doors, who needs them?) and brawls with Mahal. Orton knocks off Mahal, and the Singhs attack Orton. Stop me if you’ve heard that before. Orton fights off the Singhs, Mahal climbs and now Orton climbs. They battle back to the floor, Orton fights off all three, tossing little men into the cage. Mahal gets a kendo stick, attacks and beats Orton down. Orton fights off the khallas, gets a kendo stick and beats on Mahal. Orton now climbs, but one of the Singhs climbed through the cage and tries to choke out Orton in the cage. They climb further up top, and Orton knocks Singh off the cage and through a commentary table; I hope that dude got a bonus from that NXT money he was making. Mahal climbs now, but he and Orton drop back to he floor as we hit thee 22-minute mark. Mahal misses a kick, sort of gets a foot caught and Orton hits a draping DDT. Orton then beats on the other Singh with a chair, works over Mahal with it and then looks to climb with Mahal and Singh down. Orton climbs, but the other Singh is up and tries to stop him, but he gets kicked off and to the floor. But the Great Khali is here. Yup. Khali shakes the cage, causing Orton to slide back into the cage. Khali chokes him out allowing Mahal climb, escape and retain the title. Champion Jinder Mahal defeated Randy Orton @ 27:45 [DUD] Stop me if you heard this, but a WWE cage match, designed to prevent people from getting involved, failed to do so yet again. You know, I almost don’t know what to say. I mean, you watch something as bad as that flag match and think, “It has to get better from here, it can’t get worse” and then the main event comes around and you realize, “YOU ARE WRONG LARRY.” I have tried to be open minded with the Mahal title run, but the matches haven’t been great, they are all variations on the same theme with the interference, and he’s working with Randy Orton, who after the Wyatt feud and now this, may be having the worst 2017 out of any “top star” in wrestling. This had many of the same issues that the flag match had, it went too long, there was no real drama, no real heat, and the best parts were the Singh brothers almost getting killed to provide some smoke and mirrors so that people will forget how shitty that match was leading up to the big bumps. The climbing teases were poor, the brawling was tame and it had no energy despite the fact that commentary tried to sel the violence. Mahal may be trying, but he just doesn’t deliver as a top guy. And Randy Orton, he’s largely looked unmotivated in 2017; I get that the creative has been far from good, but for God’s sake man, have some professional pride in your work. This is 28-minutes I’ll never get back.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

The final score: review Extremely Horrendous
The 411
It peaked at the opening tag match, and that is where you can turn it off. The scoring system rounds things up, so in case this says “2.0,” for the record I gave this a 1.9. This was one of the very worst shows of the year.

article topics :

WWE, WWE Battleground, Larry Csonka