Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 03.26.18

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 03.26.18

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Nia Jax defeated Mickie James @ 7:02 via pin [**]
– Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali defeated TJP & Drew Gulak @ 4:00 via pin [**½]
– Asuka defeated Jamie Frost @ 0:33 via pin [NR]
– Braun Strowman defeated Sheamus @ 7:50 via pin [**]
– The Good Brothers defeated Axel & Dallas @ 4:55 via pin [**]
– Elias defeated Rhyno @ 2:25 via pin [NR]
– No DQ Match: John Cena defeated Kane @ 14:05 via pin [**]

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Paul & Brock Are Here: Heyman does his usual intro and we get footage of Brock kicking the shit out of Roman last week. Brock laughs at the footage, he was very proud of himself. Heyman then says Reigns’ suspension is over, but that he’s not here tonight. He then talks about Reigns’ heritage, and that he was raised to be a Samoan bad ass, to fight, and to win. Unfortunately, they didn’t raise him to be a man. Reigns is advertised, and he always talks about being here, but he’s not. Heyman takes credit for lining up the fake US Marshals last week. He says of Roman did the same to Brock, Brock would be man enough to show up. But Reigns isn’t man enough to take another beating tonight. On April 8th, he won’t be man enough to take the title from Brock. Reigns appears in the crowd, making his way to the ring. He has a chair, but Brock cuts him off and lays him out with a clothesline. Reigns fights back, posting Brock and lays in chair shots. Brock cuts him off with an overhead belly to belly on the floor. Brock then hits him with the steps and tosses Reigns back in the ring. He hits him with the steps again. Brock lays in chair shots now, and gets chants on “one more time,” and he does. Brock teases leaving, but returns to hit the F5 on the steps. This was an overall good opening segment, with a good Heyman promo, and a savage beat down by Brock.

-Post break, Reigns slowly makes his way to the back.

Nia Jax vs. Mickie James: Bliss is out with James. Jax overpowers James to begin, tossing her around. James powders. Post break, and Jax is laying the boots to James. Jax tosses her around again and James makes the ropes and slaps Jax. James runs, Jax chases, but gets distracted and James takes out her knee. Jax makes it back in, but James attacks the knee and works her over in the corner. James continues to attack, lays in knees but Jax cuts her off with a slam, but misses a leg drop. James hits a running kick for 2. Jax fights off the DDT, James heads up top and Jax hits the Samoan drop for the win. Nia Jax defeated Mickie James @ 7:02 via pin [*] This was an ok match to continue the build to Jax vs. Bliss.

– Bliss looks to attack post match, but Jax cuts her off and chases her away, calling her a little bitch.

Stephanie & HHH Are Assholes: We get clips of a sit down interview from HHH & Stephanie, praising Rousey’s signing, and blaming Angle for ruining the situation; HHH calls him an idiot. They make the rules and will show her who is boss. They didn’t have everything handed to them. We see clips of them training. Their trainer comments on their late night training sessions. He praises them as great athletes. Stephanie says Rousey should be afraid of her, because this is her world. Triple H says he’s been beating Angle his whole career. This isn’t the UFC, Olympics, or Judo, this is their world. Stephanie says Ronda will simply work for her. This is business, they will beat Rousey, dust her off, humble her, and repackage her. That was great, HHH & Stephanie were complete douche bags here, just like they needed to be.

Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali vs. TJP & Drew Gulak: JIP, which is bullshit. Drake Maverick is on commentary, as TJP is working over Ali. The senton atomico follows and Gulak tags in and hits a slam, covering for 2. The backdrop follows, again covering for2. Gulak grounds the action. He knocks Alexander to the floor, and that allows Ali to hit a tornado DDT for the double down. Tags to Alexander & TJP, and Alexander runs wild with a head scissors and dropkick. The enziguri and springboard clothesline gets 2. It breaks down; Ali knocks Gulak to the floor and whiffs on a dive, over shooting Gulak. Alexander hits the springboard kick and lumbar check. Ali hits the imploding 450 for the win off of the blind tag and picks up the win. Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali defeated TJP & Drew Gulak @ 4:00 via pin [**½] This was perfectly solid considering the time they got.

– We get highlights of Daniel Bryan’s return from last week.

What kind of condition will @WWEDanielBryan be in to run #SDLive? Find out TOMORROW NIGHT at 8/7c on @USA_Network! pic.twitter.com/6fO2SeXquI

— WWE (@WWE) March 27, 2018

MIZ TV with Rollins & Balor: Miz is out with Axel & Dallas, and asks them how they think the Miztourage is going. Miz isn’t happy as they fail him when he needs them the most, if he wanted failure, he would have stayed in Cleveland. They assure him that they are doing their best, but Miz doesn’t care. Rollins now arrives; he likes what he sees and will allow them to continue. He then offers to help and mediate the issue. Rollins says Dallas & Axel feel underappreciated, and just want to be thanked. Rollins says they are the reason Miz is IC Champion. Rollins is stirring the pot here. Miz says he’d be champion without them. Dallas calls Miz a phony a-lister that can’t fight. Balor now arrives, wearing an “OG BC” shirt. Balor continues to stir the pot here with Miz & his boys. Miz shoves Dallas, and Axel tries to make peace. Miz says he’s about to become the greatest IC Champion of all time, better than Hart, HBK, and Mr. Perfect. This pisses Axel off. Rollins & Balor continue to cause issues for the Miztourage. Miz cancels the show to try and stop this but Dallas & Axel are too angry and stop him from leaving. Miz begs off, but he’s trapped. Axel & Dallas attack Rollins & Balor, IT WAS A TRAP. They toss Rollins and beat down Balor. The Good Brother make the save, allowing Balor to lay out Miz, but he escapes. Balor picks up the IC Title and Rollins takes it from him. They have a face-off, and Miz returns, but quickly get taken out. Balor lays out Rollins and stands tall. That was a good segment overall to add some heat to the triple threat, without giving away another match with the three guys; it was really enjoyable.

– Kane cuts a promo about tonight’s match with Cena.

– Asuka’s victim gets a pre-match promo.

Asuka vs. Jamie Frost: Frost lays in strikes and slaps, so Asuka kills her with a head kick for the win. Asuka defeated Jamie Frost @ 0:33 via pin [NR] Well that was a hell of a lot better than what they’ve done with Asuka over the last few weeks.

– We get highlights from last week’s Ultimate Deletion.

– Matt cuts a promo and says the essence of Bray is no more. He is now focused on WrestleMania and will win the Andre battle royal.

– Elias does a Snickers commercial.

– We get a video package on the Bayley & Banks issues. They meet backstage and Bayley is entering the women’s battle royal at Mania. They then argue over their recent issues, and Banks says she does what she wants, and Bayley should do the same so people will stop thinking she’s a loser. Bayley says banks cannot beat her, and that leads to a locker room brawl. Refs finally arrive to break them up. I’m so glad they have taken the time to do this build, only to put them in the women’s battle royal…

Tensions between @itsBayleyWWE and @SashaBanksWWE have ESCALATED as #TheHugger and #TheBoss BRAWL BACKSTAGE!!!! #RAW pic.twitter.com/AEeTSt0sgR

— WWE (@WWE) March 27, 2018

– Sheamus cuts a promo on Braun, but he has him figured out. Braun surprises people, but at mania, there will be no surprises, they want to know who his partner at Mania is. Braun says he will reveal his partner if Sheamus beats him. Braun promises Sheamus will “get these hands.”

Braun Strowman vs. Sheamus: Cesaro is out with Sheamus. Cesaro distracts Braun, allowing Sheamus to attack. Braun cuts him off, gets dumped but quickly sends Sheamus to the floor. Back in and Braun shoulder blocks him back to the floor. Post break, and Sheamus is begging off. Cesaro distracts Braun, allowing Sheamus to attack and hits a DDT. Sheamus tries to ground things, but Braun powers out and sends him to he floor. Braun chases and hits a big shoulder block. Back in and Sheamus sidesteps Braun, who posts himself. Sheamus hits a shoulder tackle off the top, covering for 1. Cesaro looks to get involved; Braun takes him out and hits a corner splash and powerslam on Sheamus for the win. Braun Strowman defeated Sheamus @ 7:50 via pin [**] The match was ok, and a way to continue the build to the tag title match and continue the tease of Braun’s partner.

Ronda Rousey Time: Kurt Angle arrives and introduces Rousey. Angle says she’s ready for Mania. He adds that HHH & Stephanie make the rules and their match won’t be easy. Rousey says Stephanie is “trust fund” tough, and personal trainer tough. She will get everything se deserves when Rousey rips her arm off. Absolution arrives and Paige says not having friends will hurt her in WWE. They’d love to welcome her to Raw. This is Absolution’s show and Paige’s house. Paige says they are here in case she needs backup. Rousey says she has Angle to back her up, but Paige says she’s committing career suicide by facing Stephanie. Paige says she could join absolution. Rousey thanks her for the offer, but refuses. Paige says that was a bad choice, and made enemies. Deville & Rose enter the ring and Rousey takes down Deville and then corners Rose, and tosses her into Deville. She takes down Rose and looks to break her arm, but Angle calls her off. Who the fuck did Rousey’s shitty eye makeup? It looked like she had conjunctivitis. That was a rough segment, none of the promo work was particularly good, and Rousey’s stuff is really awkward; thankfully she’s in there with a seasoned performer in Stephanie at Mania…

The Good Brothers (Anderson & Gallows) vs. Axel & Dallas: JIP as Anderson is in control, Dallas distracts him and Axel shoves him to the floor. Dallas tags in and works the heat, grounding Anderson. He and Axel work quick tags, and Axel hits a dropkick. Double teams follow and Dallas covers for 2 and grounds the action. Anderson fights back and cuts him off with a spinebuster, and tags in Gallows, he runs wild, hits a head kick and pump handle slam. The splash follows and Anderson tags back in, the boot of doom connects and Dallas makes the save. It breaks down, Anderson up top and hits the neck breaker; the magic killer finishes it. The Good Brothers defeated Axel & Dallas @ 4:55 via pin [**] This was another ok match with fine execution, there was just no sense of urgency, and the crowd largely didn’t care.

– Elias arrives and promises the performance of a lifetime at Mania. He’s feeling good and says he sold out MSG last week, and says coming to Cleveland is a huge disappointment. He also says LeBron feels that way and will be leaving again. He sings a song, burying Cleveland. Rhyno & Slater arrive. I walk with Elias.

Elias vs. Rhyno: They brawl to begin, with Rhyno taking early control. Elias battles back, lays the boots to Rhyno and then misses an elbow drop. Rhyno fires up with rights, and then hits a clothesline. Elias battles back, hits drift away and wins. Elias defeated Rhyno @ 2:25 via pin [NR] Elias won and won quickly, moving on…

– Post match, Elias lays out Slater with drift away.

– Next…

UP NEXT: We take an in-depth look at @JohnCena's persistent challenging of The #Undertaker on Monday Night #RAW! pic.twitter.com/NQzyCex8h0

— WWE (@WWE) March 27, 2018

– Rollins faces Balor next week.

– Angle & Rousey face off with HHH & Stephanie next week.

No DQ Match: John Cena vs. Kane: They brawl at the bell, Kane takes control and beats down Cena. The big boot follows. The brawl goes to the floor, Kane controls as the fans chant for Undertaker. Kane’s already tired and grounds the action. Cena fights to his feet, tries to pick Kane up and falls down, and Kane covers for 2. Back to the floor and Kane slams him to the steps. Post break, and they brawl into the tech area, with Cena using chairs and a barricade to take control until Kane suplexes Cena onto the barricade. They brawl back to the ring, Kane exposes the buckle, but Cena does an Undertaker sit up and battles back with the five moves of doom. He slams Kane to the exposed buckle, does the cutthroat and chokeslams Kane and that gets 2. Cena now gets a table and slides it in. Kane sits up and topples over the table, and sets it up in the corner. Cena fires back, but gets tossed into the table. Kane covers for 2. Kane to the floor, and gets another table. He slides it in and sets it up. Kane looks for a chokeslam, Cena counters and hits an AA through the table for the win. John Cena defeated Kane @ 14:05 via pin [**] This was slow, lethargic, and bland. They used all of the smoke and mirrors to hide Kane’s weaknesses, but it really didn’t help make it worth the time invested. I did like Cena doing some of Taker’s mannerisms though.

– Post match, Cena calls out Taker again, calling him a coward. He says the fans chant for him, but he doesn’t arrive. Silence is not an answer; it’s either yes or no. He’s fine with no, but wants an answer either way. You only have one week left to do something. If you do nothing and let me down and let the fans down, you prove that you only care about yourself. I hope that I see you next week.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

~GLORIOUS~

5.8

The final score: review Not So Good

The 411

I think that the last few weeks of Raw were really solid shows, focusing on the Mania build, and cutting down on the filler. As for tonight, I felt that the first two hours were solid, nothing special, but solid with some fine Mania build. And then the third hour fell off greatly and really killed my enjoyment of the show.