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Dunn’s Countdown to Survivor Series: Survivor Series 1994
Loading...Survivor Series 1994
by J.D. Dunn
Shawn and Dies were the tag champs coming in, and they were feuding with Ramon and his little buddy the Kid over the Intercontinental title. Owen and Neidhart came together because they both hated Bret. The Bulldog, on the other hand, was still friendly with Bret at the time and came to his aid. Jarrett and Anvil work over the Kid. Sionne (formerly the Barbarian) tags in and dominates Jarrett. Owen comes in and has a nice little segment with the British Bulldog. Bulldog gets him some of Anvil as well. Fatu comes off the top, but he’s having problems with his boots (which Albano made him wear despite the fact that he’s used to wrestling barefoot). Razor tags in, and Jarrett darts to his corner for advice from Shawn. Ramon delivers an asskicking to Jarrett and takes a swipe at Diesel. Razor tosses Kid into Jarrett for two, but Jarrett controls with an abdominal stretch. Owen makes the mistake of targeting Fatu’s head. Diesel comes in, though, and lays waste to the Samoan with a Jackknife at 13:32.
Long intro portion to start. The next segment is considerably shorter. The Kid dropkicks Diesel and goes for a sunset flip, but Diesel powers him up and hits the Jackknife at 14:13.
Sionne jumps in and goes for a backdrop, but Diesel stops short and hits another Jackknife for the pin at 14:44.
The Bulldog fares better but gets taken to the floor by Jarrett and Owen and gets counted out at around 15:10.
Dies is distracted by Shawn, so Ramon runs in and schoolboys him for two. Ramon fights back valiantly, but it’s 5-on-1. Diesel backdrops out of the Razor’s Edge and boots Razor in the face. Diesel Jackknifes Ramon, so NOW Shawn will tag in for the first time in the match. Shawn doesn’t want the pin, though, he wants to try a doubleteam. Of course, Razor ducks, and Shawn accidentally takes out Diesel with the superkick. Shawn blames Diesel, so Diesel goes nuts, taking out all of his teammates who are trying to keep him from attacking Shawn. The brawl moves all the way to the entrance where Diesel chases Shawn to the back. All five heels get counted out, though, giving Razor Ramon the win at 21:50. Good stuff. Survivor: Razor Ramon. ***1/2
This kind of choreographed comedy match is a dying art. For one thing, it requires that the Lawler have absolutely no ego to speak of because he absolutely humiliates himself for our enjoyment. Basically, the match goes “Doink’s team does comedy spot, Lawler’s team tries the same spot and fails miserably.” Lawler stops at various points to berate his midgets. Finally, Lawler rolls through a crossbody and grabs a handful of tights to eliminate Doink at 10:35.
Lawler is also, figureatively, eliminated from the match because he can only wrestle legally against Doink. Then again, when has Lawler ever worried about legalities? Wink bites Cheesy on the ass and then bites Lawler when he protests. Lawler provides a foot for leverage as Queasy rolls up Wink at 13:09.
Pink comes in and gets spinnered. DANGEROUUUUUS! Lawler sneaks in behind the ref’s back and drops Cheesy on Pink to eliminate him at 14:29.
Dink fires away and covers Cheesy, but Lawler distracts the ref while Queasy runs in and puts Cheesy on top for the win at 16:05. It was really fun when everyone was in there but died down when the eliminations kicked in. Survivors: Jerry Lawler, Queasy, Cheesy and Sleazy After the match, Lawler takes credit for the win and tries to beat up his own midgets, so all six midgets team up on him and chase him to the back where Doink returns and hits him in the face with a pie. Fun, old-school carny wrestling. ***
Arnold Skaaland threw in the towel ten years earlier, costing Backlund the title to the Iron Shiek. Backlund denied ever submitting, though. Now that he’s back and has Bret Hart in his sights, we get this match with Backlund looking for redemption. Owen, who is feuding with his brother but used up all his title shots, offered to be Backlund’s corner man. The British Bulldog is on good terms with Bret, so he’s in his corner. Stu and Helen Hart are at ringside, rooting Bret on. Bret dominates the early portion, impressively out-dueling Backlund on the mat. Backlund finally gets to a dominant position and works Bret’s arm. Bret gets knocked to the floor and jaws with Owen, allowing Backlund to jump him from behind. Backlund goes to work on Bret’s shoulder, torquing it back against his knee. Bret manages to counter into a figure-four leglock to a big pop. Owen refuses to throw in the towel despite Backlund’s screaming for him to submit for him. Backlund does manage to turn it over and make the ropes. Backlund gives Bret a piledriver but misses a charge and posts his own shoulder. Owen screams, “Don’t worry! I’ll never throw it in!” What a great friend. Bret and Backlund knock heads for a double KO. Bret recovers with his usual and locks in the Sharpshooter. Owen sneaks in and tries to break it up, but Davey Boy chases him off. The ref grabs Davey Boy, allowing Owen to break up the Sharpshooter with a bulldog and sneak out. Davey Boy dives at Owen but misses and smashes his own head into the ringsteps, knocking him out. Bret stops to see what’s going on, so Backlund sneaks up on him and applies the Crossface Chickenwing. Bret fights it as Owen checks on Davey Boy. Owen sees Bret start to fade back in the ring and starts crying. AWESOME! He starts screaming, “No!” as Bret reaches for the ropes and gets wrenched back down to the mat. “How could Stu and Helen sit there and endure this?!” ponders Gorilla. Owen tearfully, with voice cracking, pleads with Helen to throw in the towel. Stu no-sells him, so Owen comes back and cries, “He’s gonna break his arm! We’re a family mom!” and pulls back the railing. Stu still refuses, but Helen wants to throw it in. Stu grabs it away from her. Bret, by now, has been in the hold nearly seven minutes refusing (or unable) to quit. Finally, Helen can’t stand it any more, grabs the towel, and tosses in the towel for Bret at 35:15. The crowd is HORRIFIED! Gorilla and Vince sell it perfectly, asking what else could a mother do. Owen jumps in, grabs the towel, and runs triumphantly to the back. Stu and Helen take a dejected Bret to the back as a bug-eyed Backlund celebrates in the ring. This had great 1970s-style wrestling (which, admittedly, isn’t for everyone) combined with the drama that the WWF excelled in. ****1/2
Tatanka double-crossed Luger at Summerslam, so they start. Tatanka actually slaps Luger around quite a bit. Dr. Tom and Mabel go next. MOM were quickly getting stale, so Vince turned them heel and elevated them. Not sure of the logic behind that, but it’s his company. Mabel catches Tom with a flying crossbody (!) at 3:54.
Bundy goes toe-to-toe with Mabel, but Mabel is too big for Bundy’s shoulderblock. Bam Bam tries his luck and gets more of the same. He slams Mabel off the top, though, and tries a sunset flip. Mabel just squashes him and takes him over the top with a Cactus Clothesline. Mabel apparently gets counted out at 7:16.
Bomb comes in and dominates Bigelow, but Bundy takes a swipe at him, enabling Bigelow to hit a bulldog and moonsault to send Adam packing at 9:04.
Luger quickly rolls up Bigelow for two. Del Ray jumps Luger and doesn’t give him any breathing room until Luger hits a fluke flying forearm at 10:51.
The Gunns play cowboys and Indians with Tatanka, working in their spiffy doubleteams. Tatanka counters a sloppy crucifix to a Samoan Drop to finish Bart at 14:22.
Luger and Billy blitz Tatanka with quick tags, but Tatanka squirts free and tags Bundy who squashes Billy with an avalanche at 17:09.
That leaves Luger in a 3-on-1. Luger actually holds his own early, hitting Tatanka with a clothesline for two. He tries a sunset flip, but Tatanka lands in his corner and tags out. Bundy and Bigelow take turns beating on Luger. Lex manages to roll up Tatanka for a moral victory at 23:07.
But Bundy squashes him before he can even get up at 23:16. The heels beat Lex down until the babyface team returns and makes the save. **1/2
Chuck Norris is the special enforcer to ensure nothing will happen like at the Royal Rumble. Did you know Chuck Norris’ potent semen is what they use to make Cialis? My guess is, by the time you read this, that particular internet meme will be quite tired. Think of this as a snapshot of history. Undertaker was attacked by 10 guys while facing Yoko at the Rumble and took about six months off before Ted Dibiase started claiming he was going to bring him back. Dibiase did, indeed, bring back an Undertaker, but it was a fake, and the two met at Summerslam. That just left one measure of revenge to be meted out. Yoko is already freaking out at the prospect of being sealed in a casket. Undertaker no-sells an avalanche and sends Yoko to the floor. Back in, Taker hits the Ropewalk Forearm and no-sells a Samoan Drop. Yoko stays on top with a Sambo Suplex and a legdrop. He puts Taker in the casket, but Taker blocks and fires back. Mr. Fuji tries to interfere, drawing Taker’s attention to him. Cornette tries to take a cheapshot and gets knocked into next week. Yoko jumps Taker and starts to work him over in long…slow…fashion. Taker comes back with a flying clothesline as King Kong Bundy saunters down, but the steely glare of Chuck Norris holds him at bay. Bam Bam Bigelow joins Bundy, but the forcefield of Chuck Norris’ awesomeness holds strong. Irwin R. Shyster runs through the crowd and puts Taker out with a sleeper, dropping him off in the casket as he heads to the back. Taker pops up as Yoko tries to slam the lid shut. Jeff Jarrett runs down and gets a little taste of Norris’ ka-ra-te. Did you know when you open up a can of whoop-ass, Chuck Norris pops out? Taker knocks Yoko into the casket, smashes his Japanese flag, and shuts them both in the casket at 15:25. Yoko would never be the same after this. *
The 411: This PPV is a little bottom heavy, putting the good matches on the undercard and the crap late. That's never a good thing. It does have the great Hart vs. Backlund match, a decent comedy match with Lawler, and the breakup of Shawn and Diesel, so this gets a thumbs up on wrestling and historical value. Don't bother to watch past the title match, though. Thumbs up for Survivor Series '94. |
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| Final Score: 7.0 [ Good ] legend |
