ECW On Sci-Fi Evaluation 09.05.06

September 5th, 2006
Columbus, Georgia
Commentators: Joey Styles and Tazz

We begin with a video package of the DX/Big Show storyline

DX arrives in ECW for the first time ever.

Extreme Rules Match
Sabu & Rob Van Dam vs. Test & Mike Knox w/Kelly Kelly

The Match: This should be interesting. Knox takes down Sabu to start, but Sabu counters out of it and points to the sky. The two lockup and Knox gets in a knee to the gut, and delivers a couple of punches in the corner. Sabu counters a charging Knox and nails a clothesline off the top rope. Van Dam tags in, but Knox pounds him to the mat. Outside the ring, Sabu sets up a table as Knox continues the beating inside the ring. Knox nails an elbow or a one count, and Test tags in. Test nails a clothesline in the corner, but Van Dam is able to come back with an Irish Whip and then a spin kick in the corner. Van Dam nails the Rolling Thunder as Sabu hits a Somersault Splash! Rob makes the cover, but Test kicks out after two. Van Dam goes air born on Knox outside the ring, and Test picks up Sabu inside the ring, but Van Dam breaks them up. Rob fights off both Test and Knox, and all three make their way to the apron. Sabu makes his way into the ring, sets up the chair, jumps off of it, and sends all three men through the table! Sabu is on tonight. We head off to the mandatory commercial break after a high spot.

We return with Sabu and Test in the ring. Test in down on the mat and Sabu sets up a chair. Sabu runs off the ropes, but Test counters with a drop toe hold into the chair for a two count. Van Dam is back in, and hit’s the dropkick to the face with the chair. Rob climb upon the top rope, but Knox hits him with a chair. Knox nails a Superplex, but Sabu quickly enters the ring and nails Mike with a chair. Sabu applies the camel clutch and holds a chair over Knox’s face, and RVD hits a dropkick! Test breaks up the cover. Test kicks out of the Triple Jump Moonsault, and Sabu slides another table into the ring. Van Dam helps him set it up, but Knox fights both of them off for the moment. Sabu throws a chair into Knox’s face, and is placed upon the table, and Van Dam climbs one turnbuckle as Sabu climbs another. Van Dam nails the Five Star Frog Splash as Sabu misses the diving leg drop, which is good for the pin.

The Review: I don‘t know if it was just me, but I loved this match. Sabu and Van Dam kept their botched spots to a minimum, well, at least until the end. Knox and Test sold like crazy throughout the entire match. THIS is what ECW is about. ***1/2

The Aftermath: I’m not really sure what the point of this match was, but who cares? It was a great ECW match, and I honestly believe Knox & Test come out more credible than before. While there wasn’t much reason for the match, this was just such a GREAT opener for a show that will likely have a strong rating due to DX. I guess their hope is that they get some of the new fans tuning in tonight hooked.

Big Show is shown backstage.

Commercials.

We return with Kevin Thorne and Ariel making out.

OUR teacher Matt Striker is here. Tonight’s lesson: ah, crap… I missed it due to me getting a text message, which made me spill my Sprite. I gather myself and Striker talks about Rush Limbaugh and sting rays (RIP Steve Irwin) for some reason, but I’m still pissed that I spilled my Sprite. Sandman makes his way to the ring and Striker runs away. Sandman, a little more pissed than I am right now, rights “SUX” under Striker’s name on the chalkboard. That’s EXTREEEME! Well… I guess it is since Matt Striker gets on the mic and says that Sandman always takes things to the extreme like that, and that proves his point.

Later tonight: DX versus Big Show.

In the meantime, EXTREME commercials. Wow, that Sleep Number bed looks sick. I guess one could call it the extreeeeme bed.

Promo for The Marine is aired. Haven’t seen this before…

Balls Mahoney vs. Steven Richards

The Match: Kevin Thorne and Ariel come out, and Ariel is ALL OVER Joey. But she has fangs and Joey is scared. Balls is here, though. Stevie gets the advantage early on, and nails a neck breaker for two. Tazz and Styles call tonight’s main event the biggest in ECW’s history. It’s not like they didn’t put the ECW Championship on the line for like five straight shows, though. Stevie maintains his advantage, but Balls fights out of a chinlock. Balls hit’s a spinning elbow and hit’s the Balls Combo onto Kevin Thorne. Ariel distracts the ref as Stevie low blow’s Balls, and picks up the WIN!!! STEVIE WINS!! STEVIE WINS!! He showed me, I sawed…

The Review: Nothing much happened, but Stevie won so who cares. ¾* for the match, ***** for Stevie winning.

The Aftermath: Alright, enough of me marking out for Stevie. If they use Stevie in a non-jobbing sort of way in ECW, this could be great. Thorne and Mahoney keep their feud going, and Richards picks up the win.

Next: The big main event, but again more extreme commercials in the meantime.

Shannon Moore is the “prince of punk”, and he’s “bringing sexy back”… cute. CM PUNK confronts him, though, and calls him a poser! YES! That was awesome. Punk leaves and Shannon cries.

Extreme Rules Handicap Match
Big Show w/Heyman & Personal Enforcers vs. Shawn Michaels & Triple H

The Match: Paul comes out and gets on the mic, and has had an “attack of conscience”. A handicap under Extreme Rules? How can he let Big Show destroy DX that way? So, in the interest of fairness, Heyman drops the Extreme Rules part of this match, and we head off to commercial.

DX make their way to the ring, and they both attack Big Show to start. Michaels nails a DDT thanks to help from Triple H. Hunter gets in some blows to the head, and they go for a doulbe suplex. Big Show powers out of it, though, by shoving Triple H away and suplexing Michaels. Show continues to beat down Michaels and Trips, and climbs the top rope. Hunter moves out of the way of the Big Splash, and Michaels looks to take advantage, but the Personal Enforcers send him over the ropes. They take out Hunter outside the ring, and Big Show starts pounding away on Michaels inside the ring. Show locks in a bearhug, but Michaels fights out of it and nails some chops. Trips slides back into the right and nails some punches, and hits the facebuster on the knee. Big Show fights Hunter off temporarily, but Trips nails a spinebuster. Michaels and Hunter attack the Personal Enforcers, and Michaels goes airborn to the outside. Trips sets up Big Show for the Pedigree, but Hardcore Holly runs in and nails Hunter, which DQs Big Show. Show, Holly, and the Personal Enforcers take out Michaels, but Trips grabs a sledgehammer and cleans house with Michaels.

The Review: This was short and inoffensive, but it’s become nothing but annoying to watch DX overcome the odds. It could have been much worse, though.*1/2

The Aftermath: I don’t mind having some RAW guys main event in ECW, honestly, and it’s making Big Show stronger in the process. I have no complaints here.

Overall: One of the best ECW shows yet, and it would have been THE best if it weren’t for the main event. The rest of the show was money, though. They’re going in the right direction…

Have any questions or comments? Feel free to e-mail me with your thoughts!