Flashback Goodness: WWF Global Warning Tour 2002

Markout Memories: Well this was one of the first purchases I made after my college graduation with graduation money in hand. Why did I buy it? I’m a huge sucker for stadium shows and it don’t get much bigger than 56,000. I also bought it because of three extra bonus matches from the WWF’s 1986 tour of Australia. What the hell was I thinking? The matches were awful. One match, the Rougeaus vs. the Moondogs may be the WORST match in history. Felt like it went on for an hour and a half and NOTHING happened. Just thinking about it is getting me mad…

Pregame Thoughts: This is the signature day of the WWF’s 2002 Global Warning Tour to Australia. They did more than one show, but this is the big one, held in front of 56,000 people. This is a couple months after the brand split, so this is a SmackDown! show. However, three of the wrestlers featured in the matches on the DVD had just jumped to Raw. So it’s sort of mixed brand.

The main event is a triple threat between the champ Rock, Raw challenger Triple H and SD! challenger Brock Lesnar. We’re about a week or so, I believe, from SummerSlam 2002 where Brock smashes Rock for the belt. This is also the last time, to my knowledge, that Triple H and the Rock were in the same ring as one another at the same time. More on that in a bit.

It’s also worth mentioning this is basically a glorified house show. There were no angles specific to this show and to my knowledge, I do not believe it was televised live…unless it was an Australia-only pay-per-view. So it’s a house show, where guys usually turn it down a notch. But it’s a stadium show, where guys usually turn it up. What happens tonight?

O’Dog’s Flashback Goodness: Global Warning Tour – 08.10.02

Before we start, this is what we missed (according to ProWrestlingHistory.com)
-Mark Henry & Randy Orton beat Reverend D-Von & Batista (11:00) when Henry pinned D-Von.
-Hardcore Holly & Chavo Guerrero beat Billy & Chuck (20:00) in a “tough enough” match.
-Kurt Angle pinned Test (13:00).

Who would have thought Orton mixing it up with Batista would have been such a big deal and SHOULD be on this DVD. And Angle vs. Test? Talking about wasting Angle. The tough enough match was probably -**1/2, but that’s just purely speculation.

You are looking at Colonial Stadium in Melbourne, Australia…

-We start off proper with the entrance of GM Stephanie McMahon. Just an unbelievable crowd…just enormous. That’s why I dig stadium shows…they’re such an awesome sight. The arena is really dark…not lit up like the E did with WrestleMania X8…which makes the stadium look even bigger in my opinion. Steph gives us the E’s speech about how great it is. Yada, yada, yada. Crowd is nuked beyond belief, popping for every word out of Steph’s mouth. Steph looking damn good…one of the few times she did post-boob job. She’s not the man-woman she is now, but just looks like a figured woman. What I’m trying to say is “Yum”. Steph’s saunters to the ring and parades around for like 10 minutes before she talks…really annoying. I don’t think this needed to make the DVD. That voice, though, eek. Crowd should hold up a big sign that says “Will Pop 4 Anything” because….

“Kiss My Ass” Match: Rikishi vs. Rico
Rikishi wins by pinfall (*)
…they pop like nuts for Rikishi. Seriously, you have thought they just introduced Jesus or something. ‘Kish dances with Steph as the awesome duo of COLE~! and TAZZ~! bring the GOODNESS~! “Stephanie can really moves those hips…hey calm down Cole,” says Tazz. Later…”How did Chimmel get through customs?” says Cole about Tony Chimmel and relays a story about Chimmel getting hammered. Later Tazz accuses Cole of having a drinking problem. “Because of Diet Cokes?” says Cole. “Diet Coke? Try Diet JD” says Tazz. “They make that?” “You live on it!” Unbelievable banter. They’re clearly wasted, stoned, or just know that Vince isn’t listening. The entire DVD is filled with them ripping on everybody, multiple bar/sex references, and just not paying attention to the wrestling at all. It’s frickin hilarious. Anyway…there’s a match going on and the crowd is NUCLEAR~! for everything Rikishi does. Seriously, if Kish sneezed, he’d get a face pop right now. Rico is just about brand new to the WWF and no one cares about him. Not then, not now, not ever. Some sweet kicks from Rico are answered with an ass-related shot from Rikishi. Tazz says “That’s some angry crater ass”. Barf bag, please? We get an early candidate for the “Arn Anderson Ballshot of the Night” as Rico goes low…but ‘Kish don’t mind and hits a Samoan drop for the 3. Afterwards, some kids come out and dance with Riksihi. Sadly, the dancing bit goes like 10 minutes while the match went 5. Tazz said the match was more like a “Suck My Ass Match”. The dancing bit was cute at first but dragged on with the kids. Though Tazz, again, is on fire saying one of the kids has more charisma than Cole and said the other had a “broken leg” because of how he danced. Tazz ripping on kids…comedy gold.

-Filler piece on Jamie Noble and Nidia learning to surf that actually wasn’t bad. There’s a few more of these and it’s all about the wrestlers being out in Australia. Noble and Nidia are doing a really good impersonation of a real couple here…flirting and kissing the whole time. Noble seems like a real nice guy and Nidia seems like a real person here too…I don’t know why this duo was broken up on SmackDown. This is like one of those confidential pieces, except it’s well done and the personalities of the wrestlers come through. Line of the night from Noble. “Flown halfway around the world to learn how to surf? Doesn’t get much better than that. (looks into camera) Thanks Vince!”

WWE Cruiserweight Title Match: Jamie Noble vs. The Hurricane
Noble wins by pinfall (****)
Noble comes out and owns it while Hurricane comes out to the MEGA POP~! This crowd is a promoter’s dream. They are popping like nuts for anything and it’s all marks. Not like those crazy Canucks. Cole rips on Hurricane’s outfit while Tazz talks about the superhero Ricky Ravioli. COLE~! and TAZZ~! are killing me right now. Nidia interferes by making out with Hurricane. This is part of a mini-angle where Nidia had dumped Helms for Noble. Or something. Match starts off slow but starts cooking and the last half of the match I’d say is back to back nearfalls. Electric chair suplex from Helms. TWO. Neckbreaker by Helms. TWO. Pumphandle slam. TWO. Crowd is getting wicked hot. Eye of the Hurricane by Helms. Another TWO. Now Noble comes back with a big move. TWO. WICKED top-rope neckbreaker by Helms on Noble. Real close TWO. That was just about the sickest move you’ll ever see. Finally, Noble wins on a backslide pin with the foot on the ropes. Went about 10 minutes and was all action bell to bell. This guy worked their ass off here and this was a fantastic match. If it happened on a PPV in 2002, it would have been one of the best matches of the year. It was that good. This is why it’s so sad the cruisers never get the time they deserve. That’s going to be tough to follow…

-Footage of Christian, Angle and Lance Storm. Highlights include Angle STEALING~! a bike, Angle making fun of Christian and Angle ripping on Storm for being boring. Yes.

WWE Tag Team Title Match: Lance Storm & Christian vs. Rey Mysterio & Billy Kidman
Storm pins Kidman (***3/4)
More cruiserweights! This show is sweet. Storm & Christian are in their anti-American gimmick, though they’re not actually doing it today since we’re in Australia, and have just jumped to Raw. Odd story from Cole who says that Christian doesn’t like Tazz because Tazz saw a tape of Christian and said he wouldn’t make it in ECW. What? Tazz also tells us that “oysters help your sex life”. The commentary is ALL over the place right now. Kidman gets a ridiculous MEGA POP~!, even a bigger one than Rey which is hard to imagine. We get another hot start as the four men start off running around the ring like they’re on speed. That’s a good thing, by the way. The match gets boring for the minute or so Lance Storm is kicking Rey Mysterio. Mysterio should never be the face in peril…he should always be flying around the ring. Who cares about psychology…let Rey fly. Finally after two minutes of Storm Boredom, Rey makes the hot tag to Kidman who goes berserk. Bulldog. TWO Sit-out powerbomb from Kidman. TWO. The cruisers continue to bring the GOODNESS~! in the form of an alley-oop into a hurricanrana (see Vengeance 2003), a Shooting Star Press from Kidman and a beautiful Asai moonsault from Rey. Storm cheats to win in the end but this was some wicked stuff towards the end. Like the CW title match, it had a slow start but it built beautifully throughout. This match is the blueprint, in my mind, for the Haas/Benjamin vs. Mysterio/Kidman classic from Vengeance 2003. I thought that match, which was about 5 minutes longer, was ****1/2 easy. This was about 8 minutes and I WANT MORE~!

-Bit with Edge, Kidman and Torrie going to the zoo. Again, a good piece that gives us a look into Kidman’s personality as well as Torrie. I’m telling you, these bits aren’t bad as normal filler. You don’t fast-forward through them and they’re kind of interesting.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho
Edge wins by pinfall (***1/2)
Jericho takes an eternity getting into the ring…which is A-OK since he’s in the “King of the World” asshole stage of the Y2J character. Edge gets a pretty good size pop and this match certainly is relevant to today’s storylines, isn’t it? To be honest, I forget about this match and when these two fought on Raw a couple weeks ago I thought it could have been their first meeting. I was wrong. In a possible little thing, Jericho is wearing Red for Raw and Edge is wearing Blue for Smackdown. I’m not sure if they did it on purpose but Tazz puts it over. Crowd is all over Y2J to start with a tasteful “You Are/A Wanker” chant. Pleasant. Jericho gets on the stick, calls Australia a “pisshole country” and calls everyone convicts. Zing! Total old-school wrestling here as the heel runs down the crowd and the face beats the hell out of the face. As is the norm tonight, we get a hot start with Edge and Y2J hitting each move crisply and with SPEED~!. A British Bulldog delayed suplex from Jericho gets the ARROGANT COVER~! and the two. I love the arrogant cover. Jericho is working Heel Tactics 101 and really pissing the crowd off. I’ve always been partial to heel Jericho. But then again, isn’t that how we work as smarks? Getting off on the cool heels? Anyway…the ref gets bumped at some point leading to an Edge Spear NO TWO. A second spear hits and gets TWO. Jericho is sick of playing by the rules and hits the Greco-Roman chairshot/Lionsault combo. Guess what the Lionsault gets…hint…it’s not ONE or THREE. Sling shot into an exposed turnbuckle by Jericho…during Heel 101 he exposed it…but only gets TWO. Attempt at the Walls has the big crowd gasping, but alas Edge gets the small package and the win. That was a pretty wicked match too…guess 60,000 asses in the seats make you work harder. This was a PPV-quality match and just plain solid. A couple of flaws keep it from being as good as Noble/Hurricane…mainly just there wasn’t anything spectacular. But that’s no knock…this was entertaining pro wrestling that the Aussies ate up. Edge ends thing by climbing a support tower thingy right near ringside and goes up about 30 feet to soak in the cheers and flashbulbs. Very cool visual…they should use it in any and all future video packages for Edge. See, I don’t hate Edge all the time. Just most of the time.

-Bit about Fan Frenzy…think Axxxxeeeessss at WrestleMania. Mark Henry said he was beating everybody at the E’s video game at the time. He’s wrestler of choice? The Rock, duh. Brock gives a quick comment about the day’s events and he sounds awkward. By the end of his run, Brock was a star. But here, he’s green in everything…even in soundbites for filler!

Bra & Panties Match
We all win…as does Torrie (*)
“This will be extremely technical,” says Tazz. “A purist’s dream match,” says Cole. See, that’s quality tongue-in-cheek commentary right there. JR and the King always ruin these joke matches because King is too horny and JR is too condescending. Cole and Tazz have it down pat. Play it off as a joke so when the ladies actually hit a move or do something cool…it’s like Wow, look at that…just makes it better. Tongue-in-cheek is only good for Diva matches though…not the real chick stuff with Molly and Victoria. Anyway, the match starts. Ha, Tazz tells Cole to “get your hand off of my thigh”. These two have been hilarious from start to finish tonight. Steamroll the ref bit and the ref has a perverted smile on his face…so he gets pantsed. Here comes Nidia, because, well, she needs to take her clothes off. Her shirt is removed quickly. Torrie is topless (she’s got a bra on pervert) but gets the win after ripping off Stacy’s shorts. Nothing offensive here and gets a star because…hey they’re hot. And they didn’t fuck up any moves. Torrie looked absolutely slamming here. In other news, the sun will go down tonight.

-Last filler bit is for a charity dinner and we see the Rock lighting up the room…as always. That guy should run for political office…he’d raise billions of dollars.

-Before we get to the last match, let me state this may be the last time Triple H and the Rock wrestle each other. In 2003, before WM XIX, Rock refused to job to Booker T because he was only going to get squashed by Trips. So instead Rock put over Hurricane…and as soon as Rock left, Trips destroyed Helms. They haven’t shared a WWE ring or been seen on TV together since. Interesting, no? You have to realize that the Rock and Trips made each other. First in 1998 to establish both and then their super-nuclear-hot feud in 2000 pushed both men into rare, mainstream air. And they may never wrestle again. Something to think about.

WWE Undisputed Title Match: Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H vs. The Rock
The Rock pins Triple H (**3/4)
The announcers mention SummerSlam and it’s crazy to think the HHH/HBK feud started about this time. Brock is green as green can be at this point compared to Trips and Rocky. $15 says he doesn’t do much. THIS is a main event though as the electricity level goes way up upon Rock’s entrance. His pop is just breathtaking…he might get a better pop here than he did at any of the stadium WrestleMania’s. Match is mostly Rock wrestling Trips in the beginning with Brock getting in a monstrous clothesline here or there. Big mistake by Brock…he doesn’t break up a Trips pin attempt. Tazz is all over Brock for that but Cole covers it nicely by chalking it up to a lack of experience. I think he fucked up. Trips gets a couple of TWOs on Brock and Rock but the heat of the actual match is hurt by the crowd knowing the Rock’s going to win. There’s no way the titles changing hands here two weeks before SummerSlam and the huge Brock/Rock match. Brock is completely hit or miss here tonight…at one point he’s hitting a sick belly to belly…the next he’s putting the world to sleep with a bearhzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Whoa, sorry. At some point during my nap, Trips bladed because, well that’s what he does. And Flair used to do it a lot. Trips is moving around pretty good here tonight…at some point in the fall of 2002, he stopped caring before coming back to us at WrestleMania XX. HHH pedigrees the Rock for TWO. Brock F5’s Rock TWO…broken up by Trips though. Pedigree from H to Brock and BROCK~! kicks out. Ha! That was pretty cool. Guys kicking out of the pedigree is automatic markout for a HHHater like me. Rock pins Trips to win after a Rock Bottom. Trips really made himself look bad, in a good way, in this match. Taking a lot of punishment, bleeding, putting over Brock and getting pinned. Wow, totally unselfish. Brock looked okay, but clearly not as ready as he should have been. He looked worlds better at SummerSlam.

DVD extra bit
It’s after the show and it’s just Rock and Trips beating up Brock for what seems like an hour. I think Rock delivers 37 people’s elbows while Trips gives Brock about 5 of his own version of the Elbow. It’s so cute…Rock and Trips are getting along. This is your standard send the crowd home happy bit but it’s fun to watch Brock lay on his back for 15 minutes and take abuse.

The 411: Holy crap, you don’t find a show too often with wrestling this good. Three matches over *** and one that was darn close. The filler bits were longer than at a pay-per-view but they were ok for the circumstances of the show. The wrestling was clean throughout, almost nothing was botched, and the crowd is NUKED for the entire show.

I have to give special mention to the Noble/Hurricane match which I cannot praise enough. It complete caught me off-guard in how good it was. I know both guys are great workers, but they really put on a show. Everyone was clearly working their ass off and it showed. It’s not a show that marks can really enjoy because there’s little promo work and no show specific angles. However, the wrestling is of the highest quality most of the night and the announcers OWN it.

Thumbs up.

Those Who Brought the Goodness:
3rd Star – COLE~! and TAZZ~!
2nd Star – The Hurricane
1st Star – Jamie Noble