From the Bowery: WWE Extreme Rules 2012

From the Bowery: WWE Extreme Rules 2012
-May 2, 2012
-Allstate Arena, Rosemont, IL

-Personal note that you can feel free to ignore: My lack of reviews has been due to Mother Nature crushing the electronic devices in my house. A few days prior to WrestleMania lightning struck very close to the house, and when I got home I found the following fried: television, Nintendo Wii, vhs/dvd recorder, blu-ray player, desktop computer, internet router, and the internet modem. On top of all of that my laptop screen stopped working for time being I have to use my new television as a monitor which makes reviewing things a little more difficult. Well, that’s enough about lightning nearly bringing me to tears as we have a kick ass PPV to get to.

Announce Team: Michael Cole, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Booker T

Falls Count Anywhere: Kane vs. Randy Orton

-This is our first WrestleMania rematch as Kane got a surprising win at the Showcase of the Immortals. The feud got personal when each man attacked the other’s father which led to Paul Bearer seemingly being murdered again, or I guess I should say he was compromised to a permanent end. Orton gets off to a kick start before getting sent to the floor with an uppercut. Kane follows to the floor and gets a two count before finding a pipe under the ring. Orton fights out of the corner, and ends up getting his hands on the piper. He makes good use of it with some shots to the ribs and then sends Kane to the floor with a shot to the chin. They brawl in the timekeeper’s area and start fighting through the crowd as some little girl keeps shrieking. Orton gets the better of the brawl and gets a nice running knee that sends Kane’s head into the hockey boards. Nice! Kane gets a slam on the floor and that nets him a second two count. So far it’s Kane that keeps going for the win while Orton just wants to get revenge it seems. Case in point Kane hits a seated dropkick of all things and gets another near fall. The start fighting up the stairs through the crowd and it’s making for an impressive visual thanks to the crowd being so jacked up for the show. They make their way to the set, and Orton escapes being rammed into a stage prop and hits a dropkick for two. The RKO is blocked and Kane gets a boot for a two count. Now they head to the back and a camera catches up to them as the brawl backstage. Kane gets tossed through a nearby door and Zack Ryder attacks Kane from behind. It’s nice to see him show some aggression after all the shit he was put through this past winter. He ends up getting creamed again, but it was a nice thought. Orton gets a cart thrown at home, but the ref is late getting there so Orton is out at two. The head back towards the ring and the crowd appreciates seeing live action once again. Orton fires off punches and the crowd starts chanting “yes” with each one that lands. That will probably be common the rest of the night. Back in the ring we go and Orton gets a clothesline followed by a powerslam. The crowd chants “yes” again as Orton pulls a chair out from under the ring. He hits so rather impressive sounding shots to the back, and goes all Austin on Rock at Mania X-Seven as the crowd chants “yes” with each shot. Kane rolls to the floor to create distance, so Orton decides to prep the announce table. That gives Kane a chance to get the goozle, but the chokeslam is blocked. Orton ends up drilling Kane with a announce table assisted DDT for two. The crowd wants to see the RKO, and Orton tries to give them what they want, but Kane counters by firing Orton into the ring post. Kane heads to the top, but Orton gets in a shot to crotch him. He starts firing off some right hands and delivers a top rope superplex for a two count. Another RKO attempt is countered with Kane getting a chokeslam for a hot near fall. This match has really picked up since the backstage brawl I’ll give them that. Kane calls for the Tombstone, and tries to hit one on a chair, but Orton slides off and hits the RKO in the chair for the win at 16:45.

Winner: Randy Orton via pin at 16:45
-This was a good choice for the opener as both guys are over with crowd, and Kane is always extra motivated in this building. I would have liked to see the win come somewhere other than the ring, but I guess the ring does count as anywhere. I dug the story of Kane countering the RKO three different times before getting caught with it as a counter to Kane’s Tombstone. Good effort from both men here. ***1/4

-Big Johnny and Eve humiliate Teddy Long in the back as he has to serve champagne. Laurinaitis gets a phone call from Triple H.

Brodus Clay (w/ Hornswoggle) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ Swagger and Vickie Guerrero)

-Brodus gets a good reaction from the crowd, but Ziggler gets a strong one too considering how much he has been getting punted down the card. A massive “Let’s Go Ziggler” chant erupts and I pray someone in the back is paying attention as this guy really deserves better. Dolph bumps like a madman early on, but Swagger lands on clothesline on the floor to give Ziggler the advantage. It doesn’t last long however and the crowd quickly turns on Brodus. Dolph actually gets a two count off a fame-asser, and another pro Dolph chant starts. Awesome! Sadly, the announcers ignore it however. Dolph locks in a grounded sleeper, but that’s just asking for trouble as Clay gets to his feet and easily breaks free to many boos from the crowd. We get some more Yes chants as Dolph pound away with some right hands. Dolph gets stupid and tries a suplex, but obviously that’s not going to work. Swagger runs interference one more time and Dolph tries for the Zig-Zag, but gets dropped with a headbutt. The big splash finishes and pisses off the crowd at 4:17. Well, I guess the kids in the crowd are happy, and not we get a dance party.

Winner: Brodus Clay via pin at 4:17
-This was your basic Clay match with Dolph getting enough offense to keep it from being a true squash. *

-We get footage from the preshow with the roulette wheel landing on a table match as the stipulation for the IC Title Match.

WWE Intercontinental Title: Tables Match: The Big Show © vs. Cody Rhodes

-Cole mentions Show is one of 5 Men to hold every title currently available in the WWE (not counting the Divas Title, but there’s still time for that). He then mentions one of the 5 men is Owen Hart which can’t be right considering Owen was never a US Champion. Come to think of it he also mentions Shawn Michaels who also never held the US Title. So I have no clue what point Cole was trying to make though someone in the comments section can probably clear up this mess. As one would expect Show dominates early and the crowd starts a weak Big Show sucks chant. I appreciate the effort, but I’ve always had a soft spot for Show because he always seems like a nice guy and true professional. Now a Cody chants breaks out and that one I can get behind. Show sets up a table in the corner, and in a sweet spot he jumps off and hits a disaster kick. The table not breaking as he kicked off also foreshadows the ending in a nice way. Cody makes me chuckle as he yells out “oh my hip” as he gets tossed into the ringside barrier. Show eats a few punches, but it only takes one show from him to send Cody down. Show walks the apron and gets caught with a dropkick that sends him back enough that he steps on a table and it breaks under his weight. That’s enough to give Cody the win and the Intercontinental Title at 4:37. Show is a rather sore loser and murders Cody after the match with a chokeslam through the table. Some in the crowd want to see more carnage, so Show press slams Cody from the ring to the floor and through another table. Cody pulls himself out of the wreckage and leaves under his own power to a pretty strong reaction from the crowd. Sure it’s not anywhere close to Austin leaving under his own power in this same building at WrestleMania 13, but it was enough to make me remember it.

Winner and New Intercontinental Champion: Cody Rhodes via putting Show through a table @ 4:37
-I kind of like the ending and best part was the look on Show’s face when he realized the table broke underneath him. As I said the Disaster Kick spot kind of set things up as the weight of Cody jumping on the table couldn’t break it, but Show’s girth came back to bite him in the ass. The post match beat down had no real purpose other than getting Cody some sympathy from the smarks in the crowd. *1/2

-Striker interviews Bryan and he rattles off various reasons he is better than Sheamus which gives the crowd a chance to chant “Yes.” He lets us know he gets more chicks than Sheamus, and has a better beard that Sheamus. He also makes sure to run down the Chicago crowd, but I don’t know how much that is going to change the fan’s rooting interest. AJ watches from the shadows!

-A video recap of their feud including the entire WrestleMania match. Sure it kind of worked out for Bryan as he got more over with the crowd after being screwed over, but at the time I was pissed.

World Heavyweight Title: 2 out of 3 Falls: Sheamus © vs. Daniel Bryan

-These two men have been paired up at WrestleMania for last 2 years, and been screwed over in both instances, so this is finally the chance to see what they can do in a big match situation. It’s still kind of surreal seeing Bryan Danielson fighting for the World Heavyweight Title on a WWE PPV with the crowd being absolutely rabid for him. I remember when news broke that he was heading to the WWE from ROH and that Nigel was heading to TNA from ROH. The common opinion seemed to be that Danielson would be misused with Nigel would be big thing in TNA. Instead after a hot start, Wolfe (Nigel) was forgotten about when Hogan/Bischoff took over, and Bryan has spent better part of 7 months fighting for World or WWE Title. Sheamus quickly goes for the Brogue Kick, but he is more prepared this time and gets out of the way. A huge “Daniel Bryan” chant starts and I am sure Sheamus was prepared for it as he just kind of rolls with it. We get nice old school mat wresting to start, but Bryan gets caught with a Rolling Senton for two. Bryan tries to get a sunset flip back into the ring, but Sheamus rolls through and applies a motherfucking Texas Cloverleaf. That’s the perfect submission for him to add to his arsenal. Bryan gets to the ropes to break. He catches Sheamus and sends him to the floor with a baseball slide dropkick, but gets caught coming off the apron and gets powered into the ring barrier. Sheamus heads up top, but Bryan hits the champ to lose his balance. The crowd starts a dueling chant with “Daniel Bryan” and “Eighteen Seconds” which is pretty awesome. The great thing is that either chant is more about Bryan and less about Sheamus. Bryan goes to work on the left arm as he keeps Sheamus on the mat. Smart move! King even mentions that Sheamus’ best chance is with his power offense. The start exchanging blows and that gives us the “Yes”, “No” deal that first came to prominence in this building at WrestleMania 22. The arm work continues in vicious fashion as he makes sure to target the shoulder specifically. Sheamus starts to build momentum and lands some stiff forearms to the chest of Bryan and gets a near fall off a fall away slam. Booker brings up that Sheamus seems to be sucking more wind than Bryan which is a huge advantage in a 2 out of 3 falls match. Bryan regains control as he stomps away in the corner to the delight of the crowd. He preps for a top rope rana, but Sheamus holds on to the top rope and ends up coming off with a shoulder block for two. Kind of disappointed he didn’t sell the earlier shoulder work on that one actually. A suplex back into the ring is countered by Bryan and he ducks a charging Sheamus, sending him to the floor. A suicide dive is blocked by Sheamus, but High Cross is turned into a sunset flip for two. Bryan repeatedly goes for the Yes Lock, but Sheamus is able to escape each time. A blind charge from Sheamus misses and he ends up going shoulder first into the post and to the floor. Bryan has a target now as he sends Sheamus into the post a few times before the action heads back into the ring. He wraps the shoulder around the post and then kicks the ever loving shit out of the shoulder as the crowd chants “yes” with each blow. Unfortunately Sheamus was in the ropes for all of that and the ref calls for the bell @ 16:35. Sheamus goes up 1-0 based on the DQ, but Bryan doesn’t seem all that concerned. The second fall starts and after a dropkick to the arm, Bryan locks in the Yes Lock and Sheamus puts up a fight, but passes out causing the ref to call for the bell @ 18:39. That evens things at one fall a piece and Bryan is clearly in control thanks to the awesome strategy of sacrificing a fall to do a shit load of damage. The doctors check out the injured champion as we get the mother of all “Yes”, “No” chants. This whole scene has been absolutely fantastic, and it gets better as Bryan charges at the injured champ and eats a Brogue Kick. The smarks groan as the fear the worst, but Bryan actually kicks out at two in a great near fall. Now the crowd is at a fevered pitch as we are a fall away from deciding the winner of this classic battle. The exchange some blows again, and Bryan hits a sick fucking head kick to get a two count. That was nasty! Bryan heads up top, but Sheamus gets back to his feet and lands some heavy blows. He sets Bryan up for the superplex, but Bryan blocks and fires off some headbutts to send Sheamus to the canvas. Bryan tries to follow with a diving headbutt, but Sheamus rolls out of the way as we get a replay of the brutal head kick. Even better looking in slow motion! Bryan misses a charge and gets crushed with multiple axe handles, followed by the Irish Curse. The Brogue Kick is called for and it connects to give Sheamus his second fall and the win at 22:55.

Winner and Still World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus via pin at 22:55
-That was a war, and easily the greatest match in the career of Sheamus. Everyone knew what these two could do if given the chance and they delivered in spades here. The crowd was jacked for this, and they only added to the atmosphere of what was one of the best pure wrestling matches I have seen in a while. Both men come out of this match looking like better which is what you want in a World Title Match. Kudos to both men! ****1/2

-Santino and Khali watch from the back as two jobbers are standing in the ring. They actually get to cut a promo in the ring and they give is a math lesson that 2 is greater than 1. Sorry, but I take my math lessons from Scott Steiner.

Handicap Match: Ryback vs. Aaron Relic and Jay Hatton

-This is first time I have actually seen Ryback since he returned and he truly does seem to be channeling Goldberg while wearing RVD’s ring gear. Jobber #1 throws some pussy looking kicks before getting murdered as the crowd chants “Goldberg.” The second jobber wants no part of the match, but he gets dragged into the ring anyway and gets rolled over with a vicious clothesline. He follows with a backpack Stunner on jobber #2 and a running one legged muscle buster on the other before pinning both at 1:51. The Goldberg chants continue after the match, and seemingly he doesn’t seem to mind living up to the stereotype as he really acts like Goldberg out there.

Winner: Ryback via pin @ 1:51
-He looks impressive, but at some point he has to move past unknown jobbers. SQUASH

-Striker interviews CM Punk who makes sure to pause so the hometown crowd can pop for him. This will be interesting as this is Punk’s hometown, but this is also the venue where Jericho made his classic WWF debut to a raucous crowd.

-Video package for the WWE Title match as it is yet again a Mania rematch though things have gotten a lot more personal with Jericho using booze to try to corrupt Punk. The sobriety test from RAW was kind of stupid, but Jericho and Punk kind of got it over with sheer talent alone.

WWE Title: Chicago Street Fight: CM Punk © vs. Chris Jericho

-As I figured Jericho gets booed, but not as veraciously as Cena was at Money in the Bank last year. Punk gets the expected hometown reaction one would expect. The brawl is immediately on as they head to the floor and chairs starts flying. A nice little touch is that both men are dressed for a street fight and not in their normal wrestling gear. A kendo stick gets used in fine fashion by Punk as we get an “ECW” chant for old time’s sake. Jericho bails to the floor and tries to run, but can’t get separation and gets caught with a clothesline back in the ring. Some more shots with the kendo stick as we get a shot of Punk’s sister sitting in the front row. Jericho gets a small opening by using the ref as a distraction and ends up getting his hands on the kendo stick. The springboard dropkick sends Punk to the floor and Jericho poses in the ring as the crowd is less than pleased. He follows Punk to the floor and they start brawling in the timekeeper’s box. Punk shows some flashes of fire, but Jericho cuts him off at each pass. They head back into the ring and Jericho removes the cover from the top turnbuckle. Punk starts firing off some chops and it gives the crowd a chance to pay homage to Ric Flair. Between that, the “what” chants from earlier, and all the “yes” chants, I guess we just need Ron Simmons and Hacksaw Jim Duggan to pop up to give the crowd a chance to get those out of their system as well. Jericho takes control on the floor and beats on Punk in front of his sister. He talks trash to her, and ends up getting slapped for his troubles. Jericho goes after her and that only pisses Punk off to no end as he goes bat shit crazy. He ends up slamming Jericho through the top cover of the announce table before trying a piledriver on the floor, but Jericho backdrops out of that to escape. Jericho uses what’s left of the table top and beats on Punk with it prior to tossing him back in the ring. Jericho actually uses a reverse chinlock in a Chicago Street Fight which is kind of disappointing, but doesn’t last long as Punk suplexes out to break. Punk tries to springboard back into the ring, but he slips off the top rope and gets blasted with a kendo shot. That obviously was supposed to be a little more impressive, but the slip kind of took away from it. Jericho talks more shit and nearly gets pinned off an inside cradle. Jericho goes under the ring and pulls out the most lethal weapon he can find: a can of beer. He toasts to Punk and dumps the can of beer on Punk as he calls him a piece of trash. He heads under the bar for another beer, but Punk fires back with some kicks and kendo shots. Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker and then the high knee/bulldog combo out of the corner. In another nice nod to old ECW matches, Jericho plays the part of Tommy Dreamer as he gets his balls crushed with a kendo stick. Not as impactful as what Lawler did to Dreamer, but still some quality violence in today’s WWE. Punk heads up top for the Savage elbow, but Jericho cuts him off, and preps for a superplex. Punk fights out of that and punches away until Jericho falls back into the ring. In a nice little touch, Punk looks to the heavens as kind of a nod to Savage and then hits the flying elbow for two. The classy Chicago crowd starts a “Randy Savage” chant that I very much appreciate. The GTS is countered to a bulldog and Jericho gets a Lionsault blocked and turned into another GTS, but that gets blocked once again. The sequence ends with Punk getting head first into a chair that was wedged in the corner and rolled up for a two count. That was a pretty sweet sequence actually! Both men are left down and out as it is a race to see who can get to their feet first. You would think Jericho is in the better shape, but Punk gets to his feet first and pays for it as he gets caught with a Code Breaker. Jericho can’t fully capitalize however, so he goes for the Walls of Jericho. Punk crawls to the ropes and thankfully the ref doesn’t call for a break due to this being a Street Fight. Punk is able to reach under the ring and find a fire extinguisher which he uses to get Jericho to break the hold. That gets a pretty strong reaction from the crowd and a “CM Punk” chants breaks out as Jericho tries to use the ref’s shirt to clear his eyes. Nice! They end up on the floor and a head kick leaves Jericho out cold on the announce table. A light bulb goes off over the heads of everyone in the crowd and Punk is right there with them as he heads up to the top rope. He nearly slips off thanks to the beer being all over him, but he hangs on and delivers a fucking Macho Elbow off the top and through the Spanish Announce Table. Holy Shit! You just know Savage would have had the balls to do that same spot if he was around during the Attitude Era in the WWF instead of WCW. Things head back into the ring and Punk gets the Anaconda Vice, but Jericho gets his hands on the kendo stick and uses it to break. The crowd lets us know that this is awesome, and I tend to agree with them. Punk walks into a chair assisted Code Breaker, but is able to kick out at two. Damn! Jericho is pissed now as he shows flashes of his old character by throwing a temper tantrum. In a douche kind of move he goes for the GTS, but Punk counters easily and sends Jericho into the exposed buckle with a slingshot. The GTS follows and that’s enough for Punk to get the pin at 25:15.

Winner and Still WWE Champion: CM Punk via pin at 25:15
-This was a great, old school, hate filled brawl. There were a few slips here and there, but not enough to take away too much from the match. I think everyone had insane expectations for these two, and for some reason were left disappointed even though they have us 2 high quality matches on PPV. ****

-The preshow match is covered, and we get the end with Santino hitting Miz with the Cobra to successfully defend his US Title.

-Backstage Beth promises to still fight tonight, but Eve informs her she isn’t medically cleared. The Bella Twins gloat, but Eve informs them there will be a match tonight. The crowd pops as they are expecting Kharma, but Eve kills that quickly by saying it won’t be here. What kind of bullshit is that?

WWE Diva’s Championship: Nikki Bella © vs. Layla

-The crowd is still holding out for Kharma, but instead we get a returning Layla. Sure, it’s always great seeing Layla (newest to Maxim Hot 100 List), but it’s kind of a letdown considering everyone was expecting Kharma. The crowd does start a weak “welcome back” chant, but a “we want Kharma” chants takes over instead. Nikki goes after the knee brace as one should do when an injured star returns, but Layla fires back. She hits a clothesline as she sells the knee and a springboard splash gets a one count. Brie distracts Layla, and that leads to a pretty fucked up reversal sequence. That looked awful! Brie switches out with Nikki, and Layla hits a neckbreaker to win the title at 2:45.

Winner and New WWE Diva’s Champion: Layla via pin at 2:45
-Not good at all in all regards. They didn’t do Layla any favors here as her return gets overshadowed thanks to everyone expecting to see Kharma, and then the match itself was pretty bad. 1/2*

-Striker catches up with Laurinaitis and he mentions HHH will be there tomorrow on RAW to go over some business with him.

-Hype package for Lesnar/Cena.

Extreme Rules: John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar

-Brock comes out sporting a MMA look which is a wonderful touch. Cena gets booed, but not nearly as bad as I expected. Cole spouts off nonsense that Cena is returning to his roots by wearing his big ass chain to the ring. The crowd is fired up for this one and Lesnar immediately gets a takedown and fires off some sick looking elbows. A clothesline mows down Cena and we have fucking blood as it starts pouring from Cena’s head. The mugging continues and the ref checks the cut and calls a doctor into the ring and the crowd is less than pleased as Cena being treated like a pussy. We get a replay of the elbows that landed, and look even better the more you see it. The doctor says Cena can go, and he gets his ass kicked once again before Lesnar casually kicks him out of the ring. The blood flows down Cena’s face, and again the doctor checks the cut which brings more boos from the crowd. Lesnar charges in and gets caught with an elbow and Cena tries the AA, but Lesnar is out and hits two German Suplexes. Cena builds a little momentum as the ref gets bumped to the floor, but it doesn’t last as Lesnar runs him over with a shoulder. Brock smashes the open cut and in a great visual he wipes Cena’s blood on his chest and licks it off his gloves. Hell Yes! This is what every single Cena Hater has wanted to see for years, and it’s glorious. The crazy thing is that I am not a Cena Hater, yet I feel this ass kicking is long overdue mainly because Cena’s character has been such a dick since the Rock returned. The kimura gets teased, but Cena is able to escape to the floor where he gets his ass handed to him some more before getting tossed back into the ring. Brock grabs Cena’s chain and wraps it around his fist, but he don’t need a weapon. His hands are his weapon. FTW! He taunts Cena to get back to his feet, and when he does Brock runs through him with another clothesline. How can you not love cocky ass kicker Brock Lesnar? Cena gets tied upside down in the corner with the chain, and that’s a bad position to be when Brock is your opponent. The crowd is actually starting to feel sympathy for Cena which is a welcome change, and I expect to see some kids in the crowd crying soon. Another flurry of blows from Cena, but Brock shrugs them off and fires Cena into the ring steps. He easily picks the ref up with one hand and tosses him back in the ring. Cena crawls for the chain as that is his only hope seemingly, but Brock steps on his hand and counters the AA into a F5 that wipes out the ref and thus costs Lesnar the victory. Another ref shows up late to count, but Cena is out at two. Brock kills the ref and brings the stairs into the ring as I guess he does want to use a weapon after all. Again, Cena gets a chance to land a few blows, but Lesnar catches him with the kimura. It has to suck to be Cena as he seemingly is getting his arm broken whole most of the people in the building are chanting “Cena Sucks.” He does manage to power out of the kimura, but misses the top rope leg drop and ends up back on the floor. Brock taunts Cena from inside the ring while standing on the steps and gets the bright idea to leap off the steps with a flying forearm. Lesnar ends up taking a sick spill over the ropes and to the floor and appears to tweak a knee, but this is Brock Fucking Lesnar so he just laughs it off. He heads back into the ring and tries the same move again, but this time Cena catches him in the head with a chain. That leaves Lesnar bleeding, and Cena hits the AA on the stairs to get the shocking pin at 17:41. I question the legality of pinning someone on the rings steps, but I guess it counts in this instance. Cena does an in ring promo after the show which seems out of place considering he just had his ass handed to him. That is what has pissed me off about the Cena character in recent months: he gets his ass kicked, and still acts like a douche to the camera and then kisses babies and tells the crowd to drive home safely.

Winner: John Cena via pin at 17:41
-This result of this match has been debated and questioned since the moment the ref counted three, and even I can’t find a reason Lesnar did the job here. I have seen some defend this as the WWE doing their best to recreate Lesnar’s first match in the UFC with Mir. That was a fight he dominated, but had the ref making a questionable call, and then gets caught making a rookie mistake. Here he dominates Cena, has the ref get bumped twice the second of which costing him the pin, and then gets caught making one mistake that cost him the match. I could buy that if Lesnar had come out and said he was gone for 8 years and that Cena had a horse shoe up his ass, but that didn’t happen. I have no clue if that post match interview was WWE’s attempt to mimic the post fight interviews in the UFC, but it just seemed out of place here. The match itself was a welcome change of pace as Brock easily blended his MMA stuff with his amateur and pro-wrestling background. Everything about this match was perfect except for the ending. ****1/2

The 411: Questionable ending to the main event aside, this was easily the PPV of the year so far. The three main matches delivered huge, and each in a different way with the wrestling classic for the World Title, the kick ass, weapon filled mayhem for the WWE Title, and the mind blowing brawl to close the show. The only real black eye on the show was the treatment of Dolph, and screwing us of a Kharma payoff in the Diva's Title Match. Oh, and the stupidity of Lesnar jobbing in his return match.

Final Score:  9.0   [  Amazing ]