wrestling / TV Reports
Jeremy’s Impact Wrestling Review 9.1.20
Loading...Greetings and salutations, Impact viewers! It’s Tuesday, and that puts us back in action for another week of Impact Wrestling. I’m Jeremy, and y’all know how this works. Impact Emergence ended last week with Deonna Purrazzo retaining her Knockouts Championship against Jordynne Grace in an absolutely killer 30-minute Iron Woman match, and this week we have some exciting matches including Eddie Edwards vs. Eric Young, RVD vs. Sami Callihan and more. I won’t delay any longer; let’s get into it!
As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s daughters is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.
* Previously on Impact: Rob Van Dam faces Eddie Edwards for the title and comes up short, after which Eric Young attacks the champ. And Jordynne Grace and Deonna Purrazzo go to war for 30 minutes, with Purrazzo taking advantage of the ref bump she caused to hold onto her championship.
No title sequence (Boo!); instead, we jump right into the announcement of Purrazzo’s Black Tie Affair to celebrate her title win and then a match!
Sami Callihan vs. Rob Van Dam
Callihan knocks RVD to the floor as he was getting into the ring, leaving him with Katie who was almost in the ring herself! She runs out and he gives chase, then turns back around and goes after RVD who goes headfirst into the ringpost. A shot to the head and Van Dam is set into the guardrail, Sami with a charging chop and he throws RVD into the guardrail again. Katie Forbes gets between her man and Sami and twerks, which gives RVD the distraction he needs to attack. Kicks to the head of Sami and he picks Callihan up, rolling him into the ring. Rob makes kissy talk with Katie, then turns around into a Sami pump kick. Suplex and a neck wrench by Sami and then a snapmare follows. Kick to Rob’s head, a shot to the head and then palm strikes and a kick. Sami off the ropes, gets tripped by Katie and Callihan is distracted enough for RVD to take him down. Split-legged legdrop over the ropes to the apron doesn’t land, Sami’s on the apron now and goes to run at him but Katie full-on trips him up. C’mon, the referee was looking vaguely in the other direction, his not catching that strains credibility a bit. RVD with a spring back kick off the apron. RVD sends Sami headfirst into the ringpost, then puts him on the guardrail for a spinning legdrop to Sami’s back. Kick to the leg, another, then one to the midsection and they go inside. Sami off the ropes, inverse atomic drop, and a modified X-Factor. Rob with the Rolling Thunder but Sami gets the knees up. Jabs by Sami, Rob fires back with a kick, Sami with a kick to the ankle and a low cutter. Charge into the corner by Sami, he’s off the ropes and knocks Rob down. He preps for the finish but Katie’s on the apron and Sami walks over to her. That lets RVD hit a spinning kick, split-legged moonsault gets two. Spinning legdrop, Rob to the top rope but Sami is up and crotches Rob. Hangman cutter, pinfall gets two. Sami’s a bit frustrated, he goes for the piledriver and Katie gets into the ring and twerks. Dude, Sami, just let her twerk and hit your damn maneuver. Sami goes for it again, RVD counters into a sunset flip for two, Sami reverses and gets three.
Winner: Sami Callihan (7:04)
Rating: **
Thoughts: Both of these guys are capable of better, and this match can only be viewed as a disappointment. I’m all for managers and valets being used in a match to distract the babyface, but Katie’s single move in distraction appears to be twerking. And I get it, this is her gimmick, it’s not like she’s not capable of more. But it’s not a good gimmick, and it hurt what was a fairly passable match at best.
Afterward, Katie AGAIN distracts Callihan and he chases her down, leading to RVD attacking from behind. Rob and Katie kick at Sami and Katie gets a chair as Rob gets Sami in the ring. Katie comes off the ropes with a butt slam, followed by a second with the chair placed on Sami’s face. Then Katie holds the chair while Rob comes off the ropes with a diving dropkick.
* Madison and Josh hype up tonight’s show including Deonna’s Black Tie Affair, the Rascalz vs, Ace Austin and Madman Fulton, Taya vs. Rosemary in Wrestle House, and Eddie Edwards vs. Eric Young in the main event with the Impact World Title on the line. Meanwhile, Rhino faces RENO Scum in what is apparently a 2-on-1 match so no heath?
* Backstage, Hernandez beats Fallah Bahh in an arm-wrestling match. Hernandez doesn’t want pesos, so Bahh hands over the money. RENO Scum shows up and Thornstowe says Heath isn’t in the building. Luster says that they want all the money to take Rhino out in the match tonight. Hernandez says it’s a deal. They fist bump and walk off as we’re on break.
* Back from break and we’re in Wrestle House with Rosemary, Taya, and John E. separately on the Confession Couch. Rosemary says, “As long as it takes.” Taya says now we know what it means, and Bravo doesn’t know what to do. Rosemary says last week Bravo did what she wanted but then Valkyrie made it clear that they have unfinished business. Taya’s pissed that they kept the truth from her and betrayed her. John E. says he realizes now how stupid he was. Rosemary says he thought he could keep the Demon and Valkyrie both, and John E. says he may end up with either. Taya says they’re not leaving until she says they’re leaving.
AND WE HAVE THE WRESTLE HOUSE THEME! I swear, that thing is instant joy. Alisha and everyone else are outside Swinger’s door telling him to pay up on his bet after he lost to Crazzy Steve last week. Swinger says he’ll be blackballed from World Class for life if he comes out and shows everyone. Steve says he’s dubbed his masterpiece “The Man Called Swing.” Kylie suggests they be nice, and Susie says if he comes out, they promise that they won’t make fun of him. Everyone is unhappy with that but promises, and out comes Swinger in Crazzy Steve clown getup. Swinger says Matt Borne is laughing at him right now. Everyone’s trying really hard not to laugh, and Cody says he definitely doesn’t look like an ICP reject. Swinger asks how long he has to stay in the getup, and Steve says as long as it takes. Bravo shows up and Dreamer says he’s been looking for him. He says he’s not trying to put him on the spot, and he won’t be a helpless bystander; he’ll control his own destiny because (of course) he’ll be the special referee for Taya vs. Rosemary.
RENO Scum vs. Rhino
RENO Scum attack Rhino right as he comes out, and Rhino takes both of them down and rolls Adam into the ring. Chops to Thornstowe in the corner, he whips Adam across the ring and charges but Adam goes up and over in the corner, Luster in and drops down and Thornstowe with a leaping stomp to Rhino’s back! Luster lays in punches to Rhino and headbutts him in the chest from the corner, then an overhead shot to the back as we go to break.
Back from break and Luster is in control of Rhino in the corner. He tags in Thornstowe and they beat Rhino down. Thornstowe whips Rhino into Luster’s head, dropkick and a standing moonsault for two. Chinlock by Thornstowe, a tag into Luster and he levels Rhino with a hard shot. Falling headbutt gets another two-count. Luster gets Rhino up and goes for a snapmare but Rhino counters with punches to the side. Luster jabs Rhino and drops into a jawbreaker, then locks in a headlock. Rhino fights out, club to the back, off the ropes but Adam stops him with a punch. Both Scum in now, whip into the ropes but Rhino with a kick to both! He throws Adam into the corner, knocks Luster out and preps for the Gore, but Luster trips him and pulls him out. Rhino with a Gore to Luster on the outside! Thornstowe up on the inside, and he pulls his belt off for a fistload but the camera goes sideways and gets set down BECAUSE HEATH IS THE CAMERA MAN! Heath hits a Sling Blade and rolls out, Rhino gets the pinfall.
Winner: Rhino (4:29)
Rating: * 1/2
Thoughts: The match was barely anything to speak of, but the story matters here. And anything that gets Heath back to action is good news to me.
After the match, Heath and Rhino embrace and celebrate in the ring as Scott D’Amore and security come out. D’Amore tells Security to escort Heath out and he goes running as D’Amore questions Rhino.
* Backstage, Moose is chilling when a monitor turns on behind him and it’s EC3. He knows what it feels like to have something stolen from him. And he’s always like Moose, so he’s going to give him an opportunity to find an allotted time to claim what he thinks is his in the TNA World Title. But if he doesn’t find him, the title will be sent back piece by piece by piece. He’s been warned. Moose is pissed and runs out, grabbing a guy and saying to call the police because there’s a hostage situation. The guy says EC3 is on the other side of the building, and Moose runs off. The guy takes off his jacket and has a “Control Your Narrative” shirt on.
* Back from break and the Good Brothers are telling a story about New Orleans at a bar with “Uncle Allen” (AJ) and it’s loud so he shouldn’t be able to hear LG. But he does hear Gallows snore. He turns around and Gallows is standing up asleep like an elephant. The Rascalz show up and they’re told that they need to hear the stories. Dez says no disrespect but they really have to prep for their match against Ace and Fulton. LG offers to share some advice, and Dez and Wentz make graceful exits as the Brothers continue to make people laugh.
* BACK TO WRESTLE HOUSE! John E. is in a ref shirt and Johnny tells him to use the Swingman discount charm to get two for the price of one. John E. says he shouldn’t take advice from him. Swinger says Kylie says he looks good. Cody and Jake give John E. the first rule of Wrestle House: don’t listen to Swingman. Larry shoulders his way through, and Acey says he’s been in a bad mood ever since he came out of Rosemary’s love spell. The Deaners accuse Larry of stealing their beer and say they never got to ask Larry. They ask if he took the beer and Acey says they have a truce but Larry cuts him off. No Truce! Cody’s hat goes back and the two begin brawling through Wrestle House as Tommy casually says, “Match Time.”
XXXL vs. The Deaners?
Acey sends Cody into a wall and Cody stomps on the garbage can lever, sending the lid into Acey’s groin. Acey goes headfirst into a support beam but Acey fires back with a knee and bodyslams Cody onto a couch — which doesn’t hurt. Cody goes to grab the TV and Tommy stops him for a chance to hype Impact’s timeslot. Cody gets it and leaps off the coffee table onto Acey. The two face off, then look at the ping-pong table and it turns into a ping-pong match. Meanwhile, Larry slams a dresser into Cousin Jake and takes a swing but Jake ducks and hits a wall next to a duck. Meanwhile, the ping-pong match continues until Larry punches Cody in the stomach and the ping-pong ball goes into Cody’s mouth. Larry laughs and says, “Take that, you stupid Deaner!” In response, Cody spits the ball into Larry’s face. Larry ends up between the Deaners and they start brawling, with Acey getting involved. Acey kicks Cody onto a hand cart and starts dragging him along, he picks him up to toss him out and Cody fights back until Acey manages to get into the elevator and heads down. Dreamer tells him to take the stairs and he runs down like a wild man, getting to the bottom before Acey. Acey walks out into a shot that breaks his nose, and Cody gets on a bike but rolls past Acey into Taya’s car. Jake is beating on Larry in the rec room, then backs way, WAY up and charges in. Acey shows up and asks what’s going on. He says Larry has plenty of time, maybe he should move. But Larry is too blown up, so Acey helps him move and Jake rolls onto the stage. Cody hits Acey with the ping-pong rackets and starts brawling with Larry, who sends Cody flying into one of the bedrooms. Larry says Cody’s dead, and he crawls along until he finds a beer bottle under the bed. Larry says he has no idea where that came from, and Cody hits a Deaner DDT only to have Larry slam him across the room. Larry gets up and he’s now Lawrence D. He sprays a fragrance that takes Acey down, and Jake Fujis Lawrence. Then Susie comes in and is made because Jake broke the truce. Things get very Su Yung-ish for a moment and Susie walks out of the room, closing the door. Tommy says he’s supposed to referee a match and asks if its in the room. Susie says she’s not sure, Tommy looks in the room and is horrified, so he declares Susie the winner. Susie’s raised hand is covered in blood, and Tommy runs away.
Winner: Susie (Didn’t keep track)
Rating: * 1/4
Thoughts: Yep, that was definitely a thing that happened. Listen, some of this was funny and worked, but it went on waaaaaaaaay too long to not be irritating as a whole. Happy to see Su Yung come out (off-screen) and apparently murder people, but this thing needed an editor something fierce.
* Back from break, and we got a match!
Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs. The Rascalz
Dez and Fulton start off and they circle. Dez tries to avoid Fulton, to no luck, and first some shots to no avail. Fulton powers Dez into the corner and manhandles him across the ring. Dez with a dropkick to the big man and he goes for a crucifix pin, but Fulton spins Dez around his body. Dez slides off the back and makes the tag and they double team Fulton with kicks and a double stomp for two. Wentz with fists and a kick but Fulton trips Wentz up and stomps on his spine, then flips him around. He picks Wentz up and ties in Austin for a springboard elevated legdrop for two. Austin with kicks and an armlock that he steps over on. Fulton distracts the ref while Austin uses his card on Wentz’s hand. Stomps in the corner and Fulton’s tagged in, he goes up to the second rope and holds him in the air in a sleeper for four. Fulton drops before the five-count and gets a pin attempt for two. Wentz with slaps to try and break it up but a leaping knee finally does the trick and both men tag out. Dez leapfrogs over Austin, hits a kick, chucks Ace into his corner, step-up enzuigiri to Fulton and a running elbow to Ace. Short-arm reversal into a couple strikes, a snapmare and a back dropkick gets two but Fulton breaks it up. Wentz is in now and hits a superkick, Fulton’s angry but Wentz pulls down the ropes and Fulton is out of the ring. Double-team on Ace, superkick and a double stomp, Wentz dives onto Fulton and Dez follows suit, Wentz with another dive over the ropes and Madman is down. Moonsault takes Fulton out, Dez with a spinning senton on Ace for three!
Winner: The Rascalz (4:47)
Rating: ** 1/2
Thoughts: This was good stuff; just thing how good it would have been if it had an extra minute or two that was taken from the Wrestle House brawl. The Rascalz getting the pin is a touch surprising on its face, but I’m not worried about Austin and Fulton’s standing so it works for me.
Post-match, the Motor City Machineguns are out and they say the Rascalz look great. Shelley says they’re not out to steal their thunder or lighters, and that the Rascalz had no idea that the MCMGs would be coming out as their opponents at Slammiversary, and if they were better prepared they would have maybe had a better shot. Sabin asks if they can party with them later and would they be down next week for a match, with the Impact Tag Team Titles on the line. The Rascalz are about to answer and Fulton and Ace attack, so the Guns come in for the save.
* Backstage, Purrazzo walks up to Fallah Bahh, Gia Miller and Willie Mack and isn’t too happy with their outfits. She asks Kimber Lee if she’s planning and she wants Lee to be her special guest. Deonna is worried that Grace may try to steal her spotlight and asks if she’d rather be with the scum or with her. Moose interrupts and asks if they’ve seen EC3 and they both say “No!” Moose runs off and we’re on break.
* Rohit Raju is admiring himself in the reflection of the X-Division title when TJP walks up. TJP tries to talk, and Rohit gives him a mask which he puts over Rohit’s face. TJP says he’s taking an opportunity for the X-Division Title. Raju says Chris Bey still has his rematch, and the opportunity is his unless TJP beats Bey. TJP turns it into a rhyme thing and walks off.
Wrestle House Match:
Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie
Rosemary is chilling in the corner and Taya talks some trash, telling her to get out of the corner and fight for her man, implying she’s scared. That works and the bell rings. Taya’s not scared of Rosemary and calls her “an emo kid that works at Hot Topic.” Rosemary says Slam Town is a cesspool of imbeciles, and Taya slaps Rosemary which earns her a slap back. They start battering each other with blows into the corner and Bravo breaks it up. Taya yells at him to mind his business and runs into an elbow from Rosemary. Rosemary with a leg choke in the corner that Taya breaks up with an elbow, and she hits a hard kick to Rosemary and then a hip slam against the fallen Demon off the ropes. Charge in with double knees and she yells at Bravo to mind his business again. Pin attempt gets two. Taya mocks Bravo which lets Rosemary recover, and she charges Taya into the ropes then hits a release fisherman’s suplex. Pin attempt gets two. Rosemary isn’t happy about it being two and she gets in Bravo’s face, but she turns around in time to come off the ropes and hit Taya with a spear. Taya quickly, she hits Rosemary with a (sorta) spear. They go in and kick each other in the face, and the ringside wrestlers slam the ropes to get them up. Taya’s up and charges in, drop toehold against the turnbuckle. Rosemary charges in, Taya moves. Taya with the Road to Valhalla for three!
Winner: Taya Valkyrie (3:57)
Rating: **
Thoughts: As a Wrestle House match it wasn’t bad.
After the match Taya refuses John E’s hand, and Bravo helps Rosemary up. He asks if she’s okay, and she says it’s fine; he did the right thing and called it fairly. She says they can all go home now because there’s nothing left to be done. Bravo says there’s one more thing left to be done, bites the apple and…uh…proposes? Rosemary is confused and says they lost. Bravo says he’s still Taya’s manager but there’s no conflict of interest. Rosemary looks at Taya, who says it’s okay with her. Bravo proposes, and Rosemary says he does know she’s a demon, right? Bravo says that’s what he loves about her, and she says yes. Aww, true love wins. Swinger’s mascara is running he’s so happy, and Kylie calls it the sweetest thing they’ve ever seen but asks if they can get back to the Impact Zone. Rosemary says it’s a question for Taya, and Taya says, “Let’s get out of here.” Cody asks how Jake’s doing, and Jake says he could use a beer. They ask who took the beer, and Steve says on the confessional couch that it was him because he couldn’t read the labels. Back in the ring, the Wrestle House people lock hands, and Susie says Taya finally found a group bonding experience that works. They all say “Wrestle–” and get teleported away.
I’m gonna miss that house.
* We’re back from break and all the Impact stars are around the ring for Deonna’s celebration. Kimber is on the mic and thanks everyone for attending, saying she’s proud to curate the event. She introduces Deonna as the greatest technical women’s wrestler in the world and the Impact Knockouts Champion. That brings out the champ, who lets Trey hold open the ropes for her. Deonna takes the mic and thanks everyone for coming to commemorate her win and her becoming the first Iron Woman of Impact Wrestling. She says the guest list isn’t up to par, but let’s raise a glass her to being the Knockouts Champion. She and Kimber toast and take a drink. Deonna says Kimber knows things about Donatello and Michelangelo, and that they can add Purrazzo to the list because she’s painted a masterpiece and she proved without a shadow of a doubt with her win at Slammiversary and then at Emergence. She says tonight is about celebrating her accomplishments, and nothing and no one is going to ruin that.
That, of course, cues Jordynne’s music as Kiera and Tasha say excitedly, “She will!” Out comes Jordynne with a mic and no black tie outfit. Grace apologizes for being underdressed, and Kimber interjects but Grace says she’s not here to ruin anything. She’s here to congratulate Deonna for taking her to the limit in both matches. She tells Deonna to enjoy her title reign because it’s not going to last. She’s not backing down, and — wait a minute! Here comes Tenille Dashwood! Oh my, that’s glorious. Tenille says that this is amazing, and she loves it. She says that she’s so touched that everyone gathered for her return; she doesn’t even know how everyone knew! She says tonight, like every night, is all about her, but says Deonna has a small role because she’s coming for Deonna’s title. She says it’s a roller coaster of emotions for her and she gets it because she’s not Jordynne Grace; she’s Tenille Dashwood and Deonna’s never beaten her. Jordynne says how is anyone supposed to beat her if she doesn’t show up for work. Grace and Tenille start shouting at each other and in an awkward edit, we cut to Deonna who says everyone is ruining her black tie affair — right when the Wrestle House cast teleport in! They’re back! Kylie and Kimber are arguing and Deonna goes after Kylie but Kylie pulls the ropes down and Purrazzo goes to the outside. Kimber grabs Kylie’s hair and Susie stops Kimber, who turns around into a superkick by Kylie. Susie and Kylie stand along in the ring and Kylie picks up the Knockouts Title as Deonna absolutely loses her shit.
* Up next: Eric Young vs. Eddie Edwards.
* Back from break and Gia is backstage with Brian Myers. She asks Myers about his win over Willie Mack last week, and he says Mack tried his best but it didn’t work out. However, he’s going to offer Mack a huge opportunity because there’s a time-honored tradition in wrestling of the handshake. Myers will offer him the chance to do so in the ring. Moose comes in looking for EC3, and Myers says he saw him down the hall. Moose says thanks and walks off while Myers complains he’s doing a promo here.
* Madison and Mathews hype up next week’s episode of Impact, which will feature:
– Locker Room Talk with Kylie Rae and Susie
– Chris Bey vs. TJP
– Impact Tag Team Championship Match: Motor City Machine Guns vs. The Rascalz
Impact World Championship Match:
Eric Young vs. Eddie Edwards
Young is wearing his weird mask on his way out to the ring. The bell rings and Eddie charges right in for a series of elbows in the corner. Young shoves Eddie away, and Eddie comes in but eats a back elbow. Eddie shots Young off the ropes into an inverted atomic drop and a belly-to-belly suplex. That gets a one-count for Eddie and he goes right into punches, then lets Young get up and gives him a chop in the corner. Another chop and a headbutt, but Young fires back with a kick and slams Edwards’ head into the turnbuckle. Young in control now, he goes for a head slam into the turnbuckle but the champ reverses and then hits a chop. Irish whip across the ring and he goes up and over onto the apron, catches Eddie and snaps his neck on the ropes. Eric rolls in as we go to break.
We’re back from break and Eddie comes off the ropes with a kick, followed by a series of elbows. Eric goes to block a punch but Eddie waits until his guard is down and decks him. Clothesline takes him down. Eric’s on the apron now, Eddie off the ropes and he baseball slides under out to the mats and yanks Eric off the apron. Whip reversed, Eddie baseball slides and hits a clothesline. Edwards rolls Young onto the apron, gets up with him and he goes for a suplex but Young counters and they trade hard shots that Young gets the best of, NECKBREAKER on the apron! Young sets Eddie on the apron, hits an axe handle off the apron and comes in for a two-count. Eric gets Eddie up but Eddie fights back with chops. Young cuts him off, whip into the ropes is baseball slide out of, but Edwards eats a diving neckbreaker for two. Young stomps at Eddie and chokes him against the ropes for four. He goes back in with a ropes-assisted crossface and then stomps on a downed Eddie in the corner. Neckbreaker in the middle of the ring gets two before a weak kickout, and Young goes right back to the neck with a wrench. Eddie gets to his feet and elbows out but gets hit with a short-arm forearm and then another that takes Edwards down hard. Wristlock from Young, but he counters through and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb. Both men down now, Edwards is up at seven and Young is too. Edwards runs in with a takedown and then chops and punches. He gets Young in the corner, overhand shot, and a whip across the ring. He charges in but Young gets a boot up, then clips onto the second turnbuckle and yanks Eddie up by his head in an elevated inverted facelock. He lets go at four and jaws at Eddie, who counters with a step-up kick and then hits a backpack Stunner for two! Eddie with a kick to the gut and he goes for a double underhook but gets powered into the corner. Young charges in, Eddie dodges and hits a step-up enzuigiri. Young gets put on the top rope, chop from Edwards and he climbs up. He goes for a superplex but Young fights out and knocks Edwards down. Top rope elbow and EDWARDS KICKS OUT. Eric Young is frustrated as hell now, and he grabs Eddie in a wheelbarrow lift bit Edwards elbows out of it. They trade blows, Eddie takes control with chops, whip across the ring and he goes out to the apron and eats a kick from Eddie! Eddie leaps over but comes down hard on his knee. Edwards rolls Young in, but eats a kick. They counter each other, Eddie ends up hitting a Tiger Driver but only gets a near fall. Both men slow to get up, Eddie’s limping hard, but he calls for the Boston Knee Party and Young rolls out. Eddie with ANOTHER dive that seems to hurt his knee more. Edwards rolls Young in but is slow to get in himself, while Eric Young grabs the title. The ref manages to get it away but while he’s putting the title back, Young grabs his mask and waffles Eddie with it! Piledriver and Young gets the three-count!
Winner: Eric Young (12:41)
Rating: *** 1/4
Thoughts: A big win for EY, and a surprising one for me as I thought Eddie would hold the title longer. The match had a few bits of repetitiveness here and there but they worked hard and had some great action in there. Curious to see where they go from here; I’m not the biggest fan of this title change but it’s not exactly a bad decision either.
After the match, Young chop blocks Eddie and goes into a single-leg submission on the injured knee. Security breaks it up and Young walks off with the title as Eddie is in pain in the ring. Young poses with the title as we go to black.
In the post-show stinger, Moose bursts into a room and is confused by what he sees. “What the hell is this? You’ve got to be kidding me,” he says as he sees a crazy stalker wall tracking Moose’s movements with photos and the whole deal. It all leads to one place, and Moose says he knows where he has to go before tearing the board apart. Underneath it is the message “You Have Been Warned.”
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