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Hello fellow wrestling lovers!
It’s Wednesday, you know what that means…
It’s 2023, and we are starting the show like it’s 2003 as The Hardyz come out for some action.
The Hardyz vs The Gunns
Matt goes Super Delete then we get a lockup. Matt is cornered, he reverses, fakes a right then smacks some booty. Right hand to Austin. Tag to Jeff, who gets a hell of a pop. Double elbow, double team and in comes Colten, they flapjack him down then lock up Austin for a suplex. Matt hits a clothesline in the corner and we get some Poetry in Motion.
Jeff is left aloen with Austin. Jeff up to the top, Whisper in the Wind. Cover for `1..2..NO!!! Kick from Jeff, whip to the ropes, reversed, and Colten hits Jeff in the back of the head while the ref is busy with Matt. Tag and Colten with the stomps in the corner. Colten with a suplex. Cover for 1..2…NO!!! Tag and Austin with a cravat. Jeff turns into the hold then runs into the ropes, sending Austin flying to the outside. Colten sends his brother into the ring and tags himself in. Jawbreaker from Jeff. Colten misses a splash, Austin gets a tag, Jeff tries for a tag, but Austin stops him. Kick from Jeff, tag to Matt. Clothesline, another for Colten, to Austin, and a Side Effect to Colten. Colten gets sent over the top rope. Austin turns, kick from Matt, Twist of Fate! Cover! 1..2…NO!!!! Colten is there to put the boot on the rope! Matt pulls him up on the apron but Colten hangs up Matt! Rollup from Colten! He uses the roeps! 1…2..NO!!! Matt kicks out. Colten kicks Matt, FAMEA—NO!! Matt with a right, kick, Twist of F—NO!!! Colten holds onto the arm, so Austin doesn’t drop. Tag to Colten, he enters, double underhook and a twist and drop! Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Jeff in, sending Austin into the pin. Jeff gets a tag. DDT to Austin, dropping him right next to Colten. Jeff grabs a leg of both, hits the leg drop to each of their dicks. Twist of Fate from Jeff to Colten! Jeff to the top rope!
Juice Robinson and Jay White are here! Ref is distracted by Juice, and Jay shoves Jeff off the top rope! The Gunns with 3:10 to Yuma! Cover for 1..2…3!!!
Winners: The Gunns
A perfectly serviceable match, and thankfully so. I saw a video of Jeff earlier this week, and he did not look pretty.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 6:56
Juice Robinson and Jay White are not done. They attack Matt, then clock Jeff across the jaw with a roll of quarters. The Gunns lift up Matt, and Juice has another roll. Damn, bro, that’s like $20!
Ricky Starks runs down the ramp! He tries to help but the numbers is tooooo much!!
Here comes FTR! It’s a 4 on 3!!! Dax and Cash are held back until…
CM PUNK returns to Dynamite!!!! He runs down the ramp and the heels leave the ring pissed off. Juice yells Punk’s name in anger.
CM Punk with the mic:
He says they can do it right here. Next week, on Collision, 4 v 4. He’ll see them Saturday!
Looks like we’re getting the Concessions Stand Brawl right now…
They start in front of a popcorn machine. Mark tosses Jeff into a supply box then sets up. A table and tosses Jeff into it. Mark with a trash can shot to the head. We head over to a table with a bunch of ketchup and mustard bottles, and of course, Mark sprays Jeff with them. He tosses a bunch of hot dogs in the face of Jeff. Then Jeff tosses Mark into the hot dog stand.
Here comes a monster of a woman in a mask to douse Mark with ketchup. It’s Karen, and she shoves some randoms into the hot dog stand. Some chick washes the face of Mark off with water, allowing him to grab a ladder and try to jump onto the pron Jeff. Here comes a hooded fella who shoves Mark off the ladder, and Mark falls onto a table.
It’s Sonjay.
We are back and Mark is getting his ass handed to him in the ring. Jay Lethal is there along with SOnjay. Lethal goes to the outside, and a man from the crowd stops him. It’s Daddy Briscoe! He chokeslams Jay Lethal onto a table then enters the ring and clotheslines Sonjay down! In comes Karen to send him out. Karen rolls out. Mark with some karate chops to Jeff, he double underhooks, but here comes Singh on the apron. He enters the ring and chokeslams Mark down hard.
Christopher Daniels and The Best Friends run down the ramp but Singh makes short work of them all. Here come The Lucha Bros to double team him, then we get four superkicks to Singh! Rey to the top rope! He flies with a splash onto Singh!
In the ring, Penta hits a back elbow to Jeff, then a kick. Schoolboy from Mark and that ends it with a 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Mark Briscoe
Well, they kept it somewhat short and it wasn’t COMPLETELY offensive.
Total Rating: *1/2
Match Time: 8:48
Blackpool Combat Club is backstage with Don and Konosuke Takeshita.
Jon says they’ve developed a hell of a team here, and they challenge The Elite to a 5 on 5 match at Forbidden Door. The Dream Match becomes The Nightmare when The Rainmaker meets the best in the world.
Bryan Danielson says Okada’s not even here, and he understands why. So many vall him the best wrestler in the world but he is nothing but an amateur. He will wait till the end of the night and if he doesn’t show up, he’ll prove to everyone what Bryan just said. He’s an amateur and a coward.
Chris Jericho, Sammy Guevara, and Minoru Suzuki vs Action Andretti, AR Fox, and Darius Martin
Action and Sammy to start. LOCKUP! Sammy with a side headlock. To the ropes, shoulder block from Sammy. Cover and Action shoulders out at 1, then both try and kick, realize they’re both amazing, and stop. Tag to Suzuki. Tag to Darius and Jericho notices he did not get tagged. Chop from Darius. Suzuki likes it. Forearm. Again. Another. Suzuki eats it. He hits his own. Darius asks for more. Suzuki hits another hard one! Tag to Jericho. He and Suzuki pose like sex gods. Tag to AR, he corners Jericho, dropkick to Jericho. AR to the top rope. He flies but Jericho ducks. Kick from AR, hits the ropes .Sammy with a kick to the back, Jericho knees the back.
We are BACK and Andretti is left in the ring with Jericho. Dropkick sends jEricho into the corner hard. Split legged, Andretti lands on his feet and…into a SLEEPER FROM SUZUKI!! In comes Darius who clubs the back. Suzuki lets go of Andretti and smiles. He turns. FOREARM TO THE FAAYYYYCEE! Darius goes down. Suzuki looking to piledrive but Andretti is there to stop him! DOUBLE CUTTER FROM SAMMY! AR sent over the top by Jericho. AR elbow strikes, springboards and flies BACKWARDS ONTO SAMMY AND DARIUS!
In the ring, Andretti rolls Jericho up for 1..2.NO!!! Elbows to Jericho. Whip, reversed, Andretti comes off the ropes with a kick to Jericho! Running Shooting Star! Cover for 1..2.NO!! IN comes Sammy for a Spanish Fly with Darius, brainbuster from AR! Suzuki slinsk under him and gets a sleeper then a piledriver!!! Running boot from Andreti! Codebreaker from Jericho! Rollkup fro Darius. He flies into the ring, Flatliner to Jericho. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Andretti bulldogs Jericho into the ropes then kicks.
Darius to the top rope, he dives off, Jericho catches him and puts on The Walls!!! Outside, Suzuki has an ankle lock. Darius taps!
Winners: Chris Jericho, Sammy Guevara, and Minoru Suzuki
Well that was surprisingly fun.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:28
Renee is here to ask Jericho about last week when he and Sting got nose to nose.
Jericho grabs the mic, says Sting and Jericho in the ring for. The first time ever was a monumental moment. Everyone was so excited…except for Jericho. He knows who Sting is, how selfish he is, how egotistical he is. How he claims to be a hero, but all he’s ever done is show up wherever the highest bidder is. He ain’t no harlequin, he’s a whore. It stops now. He says Los Suzuki Gods are challenging Sting and Darby to find a partner and face them in a 6 man match this Sunday at Forbidden Door.
Here comes Sting why is Jericho so up tight? They had a great moment last week.A moment is not long enough though! He needs some time with Jericho! Sunday, he plans on having some time with Jericho. He accepts. Darby accepts. They got the guy for Sunday.
Jericho wonders who. Who would wanna team with them.
Darby says Jericho will find out on Sunday.
Backstage, The Elite talk about Kenny having a match with Ospreay, thereby leaving The Young Bucks and Page alone.Kenny Omega says a lot of people hate BCC. They found one such person…
Here is Eddie Kingston. He doesn’t like or respect The Elite at all, but he hates Claudio more. He says the fifth person will be someone he wants and he picks, so he’ll make the announcement.
Adam Cole is here! He wants to give the devil his due. He did everything in his power to win that match. But he didn’t win. However, MJF didn’t win either. He understands, it was the smart thing to do for MJF not to accept the 5 more minutes challenge, but it was also the coward thing to do. If MJF wants to be the greatest of all time, he must take on all challengers, and MJF has not beaten Adam Cole. He knows MJF runs his mouth quite a bit, so he’ll get right to the point. He calls out MJF.
Here comes MJF to tell the crowd to keep their mouth shut. The crowd tells MJF to shut the fuck up. MJF wants to congratulate Adam Cole. He says last week, for the first time in a very lnog time, someone came out to play. The same guy that he studied. Cole came back and better than ever. MJF dragged him out. You’re welcome. He knows for a fact that had the time not un out, MJF would have had him beat. But let’s live in the imaginary world where he didn’t have Cole dead to rights.
BULLSHIT chant
As far as Cole wanting a rematch, he will say as a fan and perhaps a close personal friend, he is going to have to say no.
Cole figured, we all figured, of course he’d say no. So he has an idea, something to change MJFs mind. How bout right now they fight and he whoop MKFs ass in Chicago.
Tony Schiavone is standing at the announce booth! He has an announcement. MJF and Cole both tell him to shut up. Tony say they just had the drawing for the blind eliminator tournament. The first name he drew was Adam Cole, and the second name is MJF.
Cole doesn’t want to team with MJF. MJF is not toing to wrestle every week. What is Tony, some kind of sick pervert?
The tron flickers and we see Hiroshi Tanahashi to challenge MJF one more time.
MJF yells that he WILL NOT take that match, damnit.
Cole says MJF thinks perhaps that Tanahashi is better than him. MJF says no. Cole says if he didn’t think that, he’d accelt the match.
Cole leads the crowd in a COWARD chant.
MJF tells Tanahashi that he’s on.
Cole tells MJF, “Good luck, partner.”
Orange Cassidy and Katsuyori Shibata vs Daniel Garcia and Zack Sabre Jr.
Shibata and Sabre to start. They feel each ot her out. Sabre locks the head, waist lock, switch from Shibata, triangle from Sabre. Shibata escapes, kicks, misses. They go shoulder to shoulder. In comes Garcia. In comes OC. They go face to face. Ref tries to tell them the rules, one in and one out, OC holds back his partner and we go to break.
We are BACK and Shibata is hitting some massive forearms on Garcia. Garcia with a hard right hand. Side headlock. Tag from OC. He enters the ring, holds his fist up. Garcia dances for Orange Cassidy. OC does his own version! I should note either Garcia’s zipper is down or he has ripped his pants. Waist lock from Garcia, OC tries to grab the legs, cant, slinks his hands into the pockets, then wiggles down, upkick, dropkick and a kip up. In comes Sabre. He applauds Orange Cassidy, asks for some OC tricks. He puts his hands behind hia back and….
HERE THEY COME!!! THE MOST DEVESTATING KICKS IN ALL OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!!
Sabre catches a high kick, drops oC, some chain wrestling, then he steps on either side of Cassidy’s head and spins. Sabre with a leg scissors around the head. Rope break and Sabre tags in Garcia. Garcia works the arm, tags in Sabre. Sabre works the leg while Garcia twists the arm. They work in unison, then switch limbs, then do it again. Garcia knocks Shibata off the apron then heads to the apron as Sabre sends Orange Cassidy out of the ring.
We are BACK and Shibata kicks Sabre in the back with some stank on it. Right hand to Garcia on the apron, ppercut from Sabre, Shibata returns the favor. Kick from Sabre to the left arm. Tag to Garcia. Shibata drops to his knee. He is holding onto his elbow as Garcia kciks over and over and over and over. He lifts Shibata, right hand from Shibata. Another. Uppercut. Right hand to the back. Snapmare and another kick to the back!
Garcia sits cross-legged, mocking Shibata’s pose. In comes Orange Cassidy.
THE MOST DEVESTATING KICKS IN ALL OF PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!!! SHIBATA JOINS IN!
In comes Sabre, big kick from the faces! Splashes in the corner from OC and Shibata. Orange with a suicide dive onto Sabre on the outside! Shibata with a diving dropkick to Garcia in the corner! Supelx! Cover! 1..2…NO!!!! Garcia works the arm, Dragon Tamer! OC tries to enter the ring, Sabre stops him, Shibata reveress with a heel hook, but in comes Sabre to twist the head of Shbiata. OC hits the ropes, DDT off t he ropes! Kip up! Garcia with a big boot to the chin! Kick to Shibata! He doesn’t fall! Clothelsine, and he doesn’t fall. Shibata kicks Garcia, Garcia hits the ropes. Pump kick! Sleeper to Garcia! Sabre in. Pump kick to Sabre!
Shibata back to Garcia, captusres the arm, swings under, waist lock from Garcia, Orange in….ORANGE PUNCH TO SHIBATA!!! Sabre locks Orange in a knee bar! Garcia covers Shibata! 1….2..3!!!
Winners: Zack Sabre Jr.
Another great match that had a lot of action and highlighted some of the guys causl fans may not be used to seeing. Also, Orange Cassidy.
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 16:35
After the match, Daniel Garcia grabs the International Title. Zack Sabre Jr takes a grab at the title, too! Shibata stands and puts his hand on the title as well.
It is announced that Orange Cassidy will defend the title in a Fatal Four Way this Sunday against Daniel Garcia, Zack Sabre Jr. and Katsuyori Shibata.
OC finally enters the ring to grab his title. All release except Shibata. Orange has to rip it from his hand and walk out of the ring and up the ramp.
Alex Marvez is backstage to get the scoop from Will Ospreay. Marvez asks him about disparaging Canada. He says he’s used to performing in civilized countries. He wants some security from AEW.
Here comes Don Callis to say he, as a Canadian, agrees with him. Kenny Omega has been enciting his fanbase to violence. Ospreay needs special security, especially in Toronto. He has his own military grade private security, and he’ll do it for Ospreay. Will asks what he wants, Don just wants a fair fight. Good luck.
Toni Storm cuts a promo on Willow, calling her a commonfolk. Willow Nightingale says she respects the fight Toni has in her, but that’s about it. She will meet Toni with a bunch of honor and resepct. Toni doesn’t respect her or her opinion. Don’t worry about her attitude, worry about what will happen at Forbidden Door.
TBS Championship Match
Kris Statlander vs Tyra Valkyrie
Tyra shoots for the legs, cant get em. She kicks high, and Kris side steps. Kris with a shoulder tackle. Chop from Kris in the corner. She send Tyra into the buckle head first. Forearms to Tyra. Tyra shoves her away, running uppercut from Kris, she hits the ropes, and Tyra just slaps the shit out of Kris in the face, stopping her in her tracks. Chop to the chest. Another chop. Tyra with a knee strike! Tyra to the outside, Kris to the apron. Kick to the side of the head. Kris with a moonsault that was really off the mark. Kris sends Tyra into the ring, and she hits a dropkick to Kris, sending her back outside!
We are BACK and Kris hits a huge lariat to Tyra. Cover for 1..2.>NO!!! Kris on a knee, Tyra struggling to stand. Kris with a right elbow strike. Tyra breaks the grip, hits the ropes, SPEAR FROM TYRA! High kick to the back of the head from Tyra. Kris wrapped up in the ropes. Tyra slides under her and hits a German on her way out!
Tyra to the top rope! Kris is up! Right hand, another. Kris with a superplex! Big Bang Theory! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Kris Statlander
A nice enough title defense. Kris had a few missteps there that I can’t ignore. Hopefully it’s a one off.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 8:54
We are back, and Eddie Kingston is in the ring. He puts on a shirt cuz he just had surgery and ate a lot of ice cream. He is out here because The Elite decided to leave since he said he doesn’t respect them. There’s been a lot of things goin on that he doesn’t like or agree with. Especially there’s someone who may be a little mad he’s teaming with The Elite. But we gotta understand, he cant stand Claudio at all. He doesn’t care if he and Jon
Oh, but here comes Jon Moxley through the crowd by himself.
Jon says you know how this goes. Eddie is drawing a line at Forbidden Door.
Eddie says he drew the line the minute he teamed with his BCC people.
Every time, says Jon.
Every time, what, Jon? Say it.
Moxley gives Eddie the mic.
Eddie says he doesn’t have time for this, the fifth man is…
Tomohiro Ishii
Here comes the rest of Blackpool Combat Club! Claudio goes for Eddie while Bryan and Wheeler attack Ishii. Bryan grabs a mic, he says he’s going to stomp in Ishii’s face if The Rainmaker doesn’t come out.
HERE HE IS!!!!!
Kazuchika Okada is here! He runs down the ramp and goes face ot face with Bryan Danielson! Wheeler Yuta with an attack from behind! He lifts up Okada and hooks his arm. Bryan runs with the knee, but Okada moves!!! Bryan hits Yuta with the knee! Okada tries for the Rainmaker, but Bryan slips out and rolls outside the ring!
Okada lifts Yuta! Spins him! RAINMAKER! Crowd is HYPED!
End Show
