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Michael Ornelas is back with more stuffed-crust pizza puns than you can shake a finger at! This week, he talks about California Pizza Kitchen with comedian Holly Brown, a former CPK employee and current CPK enthusiast who will bring the hammer down for those who disparage the place! Yes, her and Viola Davis will have your head… Check it out here:
The New Day are here, and nobody wants to say hi to them. Not even Nattie wearing a red number that is sure to get the folks in the comment section talkin…
Gunther’s music hits and he is here to tell us that Finn Balor has made a huge mistake. Finn now has his attention. Saturday Night will not be like Survivor Series.
Finn Balor is here to his own music but doesn’t come out alone. Dominik Mysterio, Carlito, and JD McDonagh don either side.
Finn says Gunther could have given him a title shot like he deserved, but instead gave it to someone who did not, like Dirty Dom. He is the only reason Gunther is still champion. Gunther is right, it won’t be like Survivor Series, because during SS, Gunther kept the title because of Finn, and Saturday, he will lose the title because of Finn.
Gunther wants to set something straight – Finn did not earn the title match on Saturday. His audacity of claiming any responsibility of Gunther being champion is why he’s going to get his ass beat on Saturday. He gets it, 8 years ago, Finn was the first Universal Champion. At that point in Gunther’s career, he looked up to and respected Finn, but over time it went away – not because he chose to, but because Finn chose to take shortcuts and align himself with The Judgment Day and hang out with a bunch of weirdos in the clubhouse. Finn chose to play second fiddle to Damien Priest. Here we are now, no respect left, Gunther looking down on him figuratively and literally. Eight years ago, Finn was the best in the world…for one night. Gunther is the best in the world right now and for thousand of days to come, and this title proves it. There is one reason why Finn won’t leave champion after Saturday: Finn is not on his level and he never will be.
The four men hop on the apron. Gunther is ready for them. Damien Priest is here, though, and he’s pissed. HUGE clothesline to CArltio and JD. Kick to Dom, he sends him into the barricade. Right to Finn’s forehead. Priest dorps Carlito onto the barricade, then Carlito. Finn tries to attack but Priest sends Finn into the ring. Right from Gunter, kick from Priest. CLOTHESLINE FROM GUNTHER TO PRIEST!!! Gunther mounts, then drops a knee onto the left arm of Priest. He shoots Priest out of the ring then follows. Gunther rips the top off the announce table then clears it of tvs. He looks to powerbomb, but here comes Finn with a Slingblade! Kick to Gunther into the steps! Finn sends Priest into the ring then COUP DE GRACE OFF THE APRON ONTO GUNTHER!!!
Dom runs into the ring, Priest dorps him! FLAPJACK TO JD! Superkick to Carlito! Forearm from Dom! GOOZLE! FOR JD! Finn drops Gunther then runs into the ring and grabs Priest! Elbow to the chest! Dom and JD stomp Priest out! Here comes Carlito to help out as Finn barks orders. Finn with a shotgun dropkick! COUP DE GRACE TO PRIEST!
We come back to Finn and Co happy with their dirty work. Pearce comes up to tell him that the title match will now include Damien Priest. And, he and JD will defend the titles next week against The War Raiders.
Liv Morgan mocks him, asking if he has any advice for her and Raquels’ match tonight.
The Miz, A.O.P. and Karrion Cross vs The Wyatt Sick6
All four of The Wyatts rush the ring and attack as we go to break.
We come back to Gacy being the legal man, and he is getting his face smashed in by Razar. A punch to the stomach, another, whip to the corner and Gacy hits Cross with a right hand. Kick to Razar, he shoots Gacy, Gacy front flips, springboards, big clothesline to Razar. Tag to Miz. Miz tries to stop a pin but in comes Rowan. Big clothesline, another, Spinning heel kick to Akam. Clothesline to Miz in the corner, one for Akam. Rowan sends him out of the ring. Boot out of the corner from Miz. Rowan shoots miz outside the ring. Rowan hits the ropes, and baseball slides into Miz and Akam. Rowan shoots miz back in the ring then drops Razar outside of the ring. Rowan rolls in. Miz hits him with a right, Rowan no sells, grabs him by the head and hits a suplex, capturing the head, and pins for 1..2..NO!!! AOP stops the pin then punches Dezter and Howdy off the corner. They double powerbomb Rowan, and here comes Gacy and Lumis to attack. The kick AOP out of the ring then Lumis launches Gacy through the ropes for a dive. Lumis to the top rope then he flies off, spins and lands with a leg drop across everyone down below.
Howdy wants a tag. Rowan gets it. Miz is standing by, here comes Howdy with a back elbow, clothesline in the corner, locks the head. A rope assisted neckbreaker from Howdy. He tries to finish it but Miz runs away, back elbow from Miz. Blind tag from Cross. Elbow to Cross. Clothesline sends Cross out of the ring. Howdy hits the ropes, and Scarlett grabs the boot and trips Howdy! Scarlett is smiling, laughing at her evil deed, but NIKKI CROSS creeps up behind her from the crowd!! Scarlett runs into the ring screaming for help as Nikki haunts her. THESZ PRESS OFF THE STEPS FROM NIKK!!
In the ring. SISTER AB-NO!!! The Miz stops it!! Howdy grabs Miz from in the ring. MANDIBLE CLAW TO THE MIZ!!!!! But here is Ellering with some powder! He dusts Howdy in the face! Howdy turns. The Final Prayer! Cover! 1.2….3!!!
Winners: The Final Testament and The Miz
Thankfully, this had a bit of time to get going and was a great match.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: Stopwatch Issues (and by issues, I mean I forgot to press start)
We head to the locker room for an interview with CM Punk. Jackie Redmond asks him about the favor, what is it? Punk says that’s between him and Paul. Jackie wants to talk about Seth instead, then.
Punk says it’s no secret that he wont shy away from a fight. But when it comes to Seth’s hatred, he is more confused than anything. He doesn’t hate Seth. To understand, perhaps they need to talk about the history. 16 year old Seth came to CM Punk and asked him to train him to be a pro-wrestler. For Free. That entitlement has carried over into the adult Seth Rollins who wants to be the best in the world, on everyone’s top ten list, but Punk remembers Seth was once on the Top Ten List to be fired, but Punk shielded him. Seth has lived in Punk’s shadow for a long time, and that must be tough. Everything Seth has done, Punk has done better. He remembers that 16 year old kid having all the potential in the world, and when Punk was gone, Seth did his best carrying the brand, but the starter is back and the second string can sit back on the bench.
Dakota Kai vs Liv Morgan
Big arm drag by Kai, another. Snapmare to Liv, then a Blockbuster and finally a pin with a bridge for 1.2..NO! Liv in the corner. Kai rushes and Liv launchers her over the top rope to the outside.
We are BACK and Liv has Kai on the floor. A kick to the face from Liv.
Here is Pure Fusion Collective to get a closer look. Liv locks the head and goes for Three Amigos, but Kai stops the third one with a suplex of her own. Kai blocks a right, hits one of her own, again, another one. Kai with a kick to the back of the head while Liv hangs on the ropes. Cover for 1..2.NO!!
Sorry, had an important phone call here!
obLIVion to Kai! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Liv Morgan
Not sure why they had Dakota lose, even if by way of interference. Probably should have been Sane.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:18
PFC attacks, but here comes Damage CTRL to clear the ring! Iyo helps Sane hop to the top rope where she flies off onto PFC!
Iyo then gets hit with obLIVion!!!
Drew McIntyre gets a video promo where he talks about giving us his all. He had to go baack to Scotland. His family needed him. 2024 should have been his year. While he was at home, he kept asking if he was wrong – what if people could truly change. Then he turned on Survivor Series. He saw CM Punk stand side by side with Roman Reigns. Who was with them? Sami. Jey. Jimmy. After everything. At least CM Punk took a bribe. Everyone else sold out for nothing. This is when he knew he had to come back, take out Sami, take out Jey Uso. He can’t change the past, but can change the present, and WILL change the future.
After a recap of what The New Day did, we see them walking the halls. Here is Cody Rhodes leaving Pearce’s office who tells them that he’s known Woods since high school and tells both of them that they should be ashamed of themselves. Kofi is shocked. Woods laughs it off and they walk away.
Seth Rollins is here! He allows those who want to cheer for Punk to do so then says Punk has played the victim card yet again. Punk is a conman.
Punk was right, he did go to Punk to get trained. Seth looked up to him. Idolized him. Punk helped him get his foot in the door. No doubt. He respected Punk. They were friends. So why does he hate Punk so much? The part Punk left out will tell you why. When Punk walked out 11 years ago, Seth called. Texted. Because he was a friend. And Seth got nothing back. Ghosted by CM Punk. It wasn’t just him, it was everyone that worked for the WWE. Because if you didn’t quit your dream job and didn’t align with Punk, you were evil. If the story ended there, ok, but that isn’t what happen, because for the next ten years, all CM Punk tried to do was tear this company down. He talked as much crap as he could, took pot shots, and when he finally walked back in, it was because he failed at everything else, burned every other bridge that would lead him to water, and the money was right.
Once upon a time, Seth used to chant his name too. He wanted to be just like him, follow in his footseps, but somewhere along the way, he realized he was a fraud and Seth wanted to be better, and he was. Everything Punk did in this ring, he did it twice, and Seth did the one thing Punk can never do, and that’s main event Mania.
Sami Zayn is here, likely to play peacmaker.
Seth stops Sami, says if he is out here to defend Punk again, then they’ll be fighting again. He doesn’t wanna hear it.
Sami says last week, they were both angry and even fought in the middle of this ring, and he guesses that’s bound to happen when you know each other as long as they have. But, it was wrong of Sami to assume that Seth was the one that dropped Jey backstage. He knows Seth longer than that, and he was wrong. He is sorry.
Seth says he’s glad that was brought up because as far back as they go – twenty plus years – their kids play together, but when Jey went down, Seth was the FIRST person to come to his mind? Why?
Sami says Seth was out of his mind last week. Go back and watch, Seth wasn’t talking like himself – he was talking like the kind of person that points at everyone else and acts like they are the only person with moral clarity. He sounded less like Seth and more like Drew.
Seth takes offense and Sami agrees, he is better than Drew. But the thin with Punk, it brings out the worst in Seth. He maybe should not have gotten involved, so he is out here to say that the thing with him and Punk is worse than he thought possible, so from here on out, it’s Seth’s business and he can deal with it however he wants to.
Seth thanks him, says this is all he wanted. Thank you.
Sami asks if they are good. Seth says they are good. He says it looks like Sami has some business with Drew that he needs to handle.
Seth leaves the ring.
Sami says this is good advice, and he’ll handle that business. He won’t be running it back and sit here and listen to Drew talk week after week. He’ll end it as quickly as it stated. He already talked to Pearce. Saturday Nights Main Event. Drew vs Sami.
Sami leaves the ring and heads up the ramp where Drew McIntyre surprises him with a cheap shot and some mounted punches. Drew stands and glares at Sami as we go to break.
Lyra Valkyria vs Zelina Vega vs Ivy Nile
Lyra sends Ivy out of the ring then tries to roll up Zelina, but only gets a 1. Zelni gets a quick 619 then gets pulled outside by Nile. Ivy runs in, powerslam to Lyra. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Stomps to Lyra.
We come back to Lyra taking out Vega and Nile outside. She rolls back in with Ivy then hits a tornado DDT and holds on to hit a Fisherman’s! Cover! 1..2..NO!!! Vega stops it! Lyra with Iy to the shoulders. Ivy turns this into an arm bar attempt. Lyra rolls to her knees and Ivy holds onto the wrist, Ivy turns this into a pin, rollup for 1..2NO!!! Sunset FLiup and Lyra pins for a 1. Ivy tries to pin, they roll to the corner and Vega is waiting. She takes forever to just…front flip onto both girls. Pin to Ivy for 1..2.NO!!! Cover on Lyra gets a 1…2…NO!!! Vega slides out of the ring for a Code Red to Ivy! Back up to the top rope, she flies and gets some knees to the face of Lyra. Pin for 1..2.NO!!! Ivy back in. Kick out of the corner. Vega hops into the arms of Ivy. Powerslam from Ivy! 1..2..NO!!! Lyra locks the hips of Vega. Ivy locks the hips of lyra. A triple german! Ivy holds on for a bridge and gets a 1..2.NO!!! Ivy with a back suplex. Coer for 1..2.NO!!!
Vega with a rollup for 1..2.NO!! Dropkick from Ivy! Lyra with Nightwing! Cover! 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Lyra Valkyria
Vega and Ivy just like doin big spots without any rhyme or reason in between, negating any wow factor from said big spots.The right girl won!
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:44
Backstage, Rhea Ripley is making me feel like any back workout I do is simply not worth it. Priest walks up and tells her to eradicate.
The New Day are hit up for an interview, buy they’re not having it. They rob the cameraman of his camera and Woods follows Kofi out to the ring with the camera on his shoulders. He robbed Stu, John Cena’s friend!
THE GALL!
The New Day come out to a shower of boos, no music, and Kofi gives the crowd a “Say whaaaaa” face. NEW DAYSUCKS chant.
Kofi and Woods enter the ring and Kofi is shocked. After the ten years of positivity that they have given us, we are this mad over one day?
The boos are loud and proud.
Woods says they came out here to….nope, interrupted by boos.
WE WANT BIG E chant. Kofi says they could have taken a chair to E’s back, or a sledgehammer to his head.
Woods says they were going to try and…NOPE! More boos.
Kofi and Woods drop the mic and leave to a huge pop.
Anything Goes Match
Rhea Ripley vs Raquel Rodriguez
Raquel will be known as RR moving forward.
RR and Rhea go at it at the top of the rmap before a bell can even ring! Thea chases her into the crowd then tosses her over the barricade and throws a trashcan at RR. We see a ing full of stuff because during the break, Rhea had brought in all the plunder. They go at it for a bit then end up back outside where RR hits a Fallaway Slam ONTO THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!
We are BACK and Rhea kicks RR in the side of the head. She tosses a chair, RR catches it, and Rhea hits a dropkick! Rhea runs into a knee. RR lifts up for a powerbomb but drops her into the corner instead and she eats buckle. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! RR sits a chair up then grbs Rhea for another slam. She lifts Rhea to her shoulders. Rhea lifts up, botche a bit and drops RR, grazing the chair. Rhea slaps a chair onto RR then covers for 1..2NO!!! RRhea sets up chairs atop each other then turns to RR> She grabs her and calls for the end. She sets up for Riptide, but LIV MORGAN is here! Rhea drops RR and pulls Liv into the ring. Rhea goes after Liv, allowing RR to grab her and body slam her onto the pile of chairs! RR lays a chair down on its side with the legs sticking up. RR goes for the Bomb, but Rhea slinks of and hits a headbutt. She goes for Rip Tide, but Liv is in the ring to hop on the back of Rhea! Snapmare to Liv! Rhea grabs her by the head. Big Boot to RR! obLIVion to Rhea!!!
Here omes Iyo Sky! She springbords! Dropkick! Liv is shot out of the ring! Iyo hits the ropes and dives though the ropes SUICIDE DIVE CROSS BODY TO LIV!!!
RR goes for a cover. 1..2..NO!!!!! RR gets the table!!! She sets it up. Tejana B—NO!! Rhea hops off. She sends RR into the steel chair in the corner. RIP TIDE THROUGH THE TABLE!!!!! COVER! 1`.2….3!!!
Winner: Rhea Ripley
Got a little sloppy there at the end, but I didn’t expect a technical masterpiece anywy.
Total Rating: **1/2
Match Time: 8:01
Rhea grabs the title and looks to hold onto it but Iyo has the other end of it and stands with it as well. They girls stare each other down with the title in between them as we…
End Show
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