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Raw starts by reminding me of the shitty ending last week, and the fact that we have bowling to look forward to tonight.

Seth and his foos come by to say tonight is huge, and his match with Aleister Black is next. Black has left Seth no choice but to enlighten him. As for Rey, he’ll be here later tonight to speak to all of us, and he knows it’ll be difficult for Rey, but his gut tells him that he’s not going to be able to bring himself to formally announce his own retirement. Seth wants to take that responsibility on. If we know Rey as much as he does, then we’d know he’s too humble and modest to come out and call himself a legend, so it’s his duty to appreciate Rey and the fact that he was chosen as a sacrifice for the greater good of RAW. If that isn’t legendary, then Seth doesn’t know what is. It’s true Rey is the greatest luchador who has ever lived. He has transcended language and border. Rey is a kind and generous man. In Seth’s darkest hour, Rey presented himself to him. He is now prepared to leave. Seth has a video package for Rey.

As per usual, it’s a solid video, but ends a little awkwardly as after all the feel-good moments, it turns to Rey getting injured via eye.

We come back to Seth clapping in the middle of the ring, saying what an amazing career. Rey is undoubtedly a first-ballot Hall of Famer, and Seth wants him to know that when this time comes, it would be Seth’s honor to personally induct him into the WWE Hall of Fame.

Black rushes down the ramp and attacks Seth!

Match 1: Seth Rollins vs Aleister Black
Black and Seth lockup but Black kicks the leg. Right and lefts send Seth into the corner. Ref breaks it up. Seth sends him into the corner and hits a back elbow. Leg sweep from Black, he hits the ropes, and Seth rolls to the outside. Murphy and Theory check on him. Black heads out and kicks the chest of Seth. He rolls Seth into the ring. Black to follow. Seth with a dropkick. Seth mounts. Right hands and some forearm scrapes to the face. Seth up with some stomps. He chokes Black on the 2nd rope as Seth says Black is disrespecting Rey Mysterio. Black with right hands. Kick from Seth. He send Black to the outside, Black lands on his feet. Seth with a suicide dive.

Back in the ring,Seth whips Black into the corner. Seth catches a boot, Black blocks, kicks Seth away, leap frogs over the head, Seth catches him and goes for an enziguri, but Black backs up then lifts, Seth tosses him off. High kick to the face from Black! Seth tosses Black to the outside! He distracts the ref. Theory and Murphy come to attack, but out comes Humberto Carrillo to prevent an attack on Black.

Back from break, and Seth has the advantage in the middle of the ring. He stomps Black away a bit then gets hit with a right. Elbow to the gut, right hand, but Seth hits a knee. Whip. Black holds on. Seth misses a dropkick. Black locks the hips, right elbow from Seth .Big boot from Black! Slingblade to Black. Cover for 1…2..NO!!!! Seth is up first. Black up in the corner. Seth runs, hits a back elbow to the face. Black takes advantage, hits a moonsault off the middle rope. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Black with a quick pin for 1…2..N!O! Seth reverses and rolls up for 1..2..NO!!! Black locks up from behind. GERMAN! INTO A PIN! 1…2….NO!!!! Enziguri from Seth! Kick to the head, FALCON ARROW!!! Cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Rollins to the top. Frog Splash! Knees! Black grabs Seth on the apron, Seth fires back, big kick to Seth’s face, a right to Black. Black fires back, Seth hooks the head under his legs. Black up, hits the knee, then shoves Seth into the ringpost! Black with a moonsault from the post!

Back at it again with Seth shoving Black off the top rope in the corner. Seth flies with a Frog Splash, and this time he hits it. Seth is slow to cover. He gets one for 1…2..NO!!! Seth waits in the corner, rushes for the stomp, Black moves and locks in an arm bar! Seth kicks the side of the head, locks the head of Black and flips Black up for a powerbomb! Seth pulls himself up on the apron and springboards, flies, BIG KNEE FROM BLACK!!! Black heads to Seth, lifts his head by boot, but up come Theory and Murphy. Humberto pulls them both off the apron, so those two men start jumping him. In the ring,

Seth rolls Black up for 1..2.NOO!!!! He reverses and rolls Seth up. 1…2….3!!!

Winner: Seth Rollins
Pretty standard affair for the first 2/3rds of the match which is great until you realize that the first 2/3rds was relatively boring and uninspiring.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 21:01

Afterwards, Murphy and Thoery come in to beat down Black. Humberto tries to help, but he is taken out by Seth as his disciples take on Black.

STOMP TO CARRILLO. Seth screams that he warned Black. If he wants to be a hero, then here’s his prize.

Seth stomps Black next.

Backstage, Charley wants to talk to Garza and Vega. Zelina stops her and says Owens agreed to this match, so it wasn’t controversial. Garza’s got this, though. He says that in love and war, everything is fair. As far as competition and seduction, you must always be one step ahead. So what does he think about last week?

Zelina thinks that the win was triumphant because he saw what he wanted and he took it. If someone is mad, then they clearly never wanted something as badly as he does.

Charley tries to thank him for his time, and Garza hands her a rose then walks away.

Zelina grabs the rose and rips the head off of it.

Shawn Michaels is here to oversell “The Best Wrestling Match Ever.”

He says they’ve got a high bar and he wouldn’t want to be them. He’s had a few, and says they’ve set the stage. He thinks they can deliver, but who will come out on top? HBK says Edge. He believes that time, wisdom, knowledge, and even a little fate gives Edge the edge.

Backstage, MVP tells Lana that he’s got work to do unlike her. He doesn’t have the time or desire to get sucked into this drama she’s got going on.

Lana says he is nothing but a leech, trying to use her husband to try and revive his washed up career.

MVP says that if it were true, that would make the two of them.

Lana slaps MVP.

We come after a break for them to recap what just fucking saw regarding Seth and Rey. Ugh.

For Everyone that’s wondering, JONFW2 is not watching RAW, but he very much likes the attention.

Our new US Champion is here with a smile.

Apollo is congratulated for his title win, and tells us his first week has felt great. The lsit of feelnigs goes on and on. Appreciation, humility, yet it’still so surreal.

We learn his first defense will be against someone he chooses. He tells Kayla that he has another list – a long list that he’d love to face, but the one he chose tonight is truly deserving, and his name is Kevin Owens.

Owens comes out, says congrats first of all, and says he appreciates the offer. Owens is not one to turn down title shots, but the only problem he has is that this is coming out of pity.

Apollo says there is no pity, it’s about respect. If that’s the case, then Owens feels bad because Apollo’s first title reign is going to be real short.

Match 2: United States Championship Match
Kevin Owens vs Apollo Crews
Handshake then a go behind. Switch. Owens switches .Apollo then. He hits the ropes. Dropkick. Kevin with a side headlock, Apollo escapes. Dropkick from Owens. Clothesline sends Apollo to the outside. Owens hits the ropes, looks for a dive, but Apollo moves. Right hand from Apollo. Another. Hip to Owens is reversed and Apollo hops onto the apron, goes for a moonsault, Owens moves, runs up the apron, and cannonballs off onto Apollo! He sends Crews inside then heads to the top rope. Senton from Owens! Pin for 1..2….NO!!! Owens whips, looking for the pwoerbomb. Crews holds on. Kick to Crews, and he calls for a low blow. The ref holds Owens back, checking on Crews nuts. Apollo wants to continue. Apollo is up as the PC claps for him. Both men up, Apollo with a cheap shot! They go back and forth, tumbling to the outside, throwin rights as we go to break.

We come back and Apollo goes for an Olympic Slam only for Owens to hit a Superkick. Owens with a moonsault out of the corner. Pin for 1..2..NOOO!!!Owens whips Apollo, goes for the Powerbomb again, but Apollo hops over and hits an Enziguri. Olympic Slam and a cover for 1..2..N!O! Standing moonsault for a pin. 1…2…NO!!! Apollo in the corner with a splash. He foes for another, hits it. Here comes a third and Owens moves then hits a Superkick. Owens to the top rope. Senton. KNEES ARE UP!

Out come Garza and Andrade to attack both me!

Winner: No Contest
Non-finishes don’t always upset me, but this one was pretty annoying. Solid wrestling otherwise, though. Owens treated this like a title match.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 10:21

And of course, we get a tag team match upon return. If I have a title opportunity, and someone interrupts it, I’ll likely ask for order so that I can get back to my title. What I won’t do is toss that opportunity away to team with my opponent against the two dudes that tried to make me lose my title chance.

Match 3: Angel Garza and Andrade vs Apollo Crews and Kevin Owens
Match has already begun. He runs and hits a knee to Crews. Andrade with stomps. He tags in Garza, tag to Owens, Garza hits a cheap shot then tags Andrade right back in. Andrade with stomps. He pulls Owens to the center. Owens kicks away. Andrade with a single leg boston crab. He’s able to escape. Garza distracts, Andrade kicks him hard and Owens get a tag. In comes Apollo who presses, but gets hit with a suplex. Andrade goes for a second, but Crews hits an Olympic Slam.

Garza on the outside, trips up Owens. Crews kicks him from the ring. Andrade with a surprise pin for 1…2..NO!!!

Enziguri from Crews. Powerbomb from Crews. 1…..2….3!!!

Winners: Apollo Crews and Kevin Owens
The positive to come out of all this is that Apollo is getting a generous push that should help both his title reign and his character. Other than that, this definitely felt like filler.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 5:00

Asuka cuts a promo. Asuka is always better. Charlotte stays the same. The Empress never bows down to anyone.

A recap of the Viking Raiders vs Street Profits saga, proving that all sports are cancelled unless you’re Vince McMahon.

They’re in a bowling alley, and apparently neither Ford nor Dawkins have ever worn bowling shoes. We are to believe this.

Viking Raiders are shown to believe that they are better, while Ford gets a gutter ball, as does Dawkins.

They all drink beer, or so they think. It’s actually goat’s milk.

Apparently Ibar’s hunger supercedes the love of the game and the bowling alley has turkey legs readily available.

Ford is tired of the shenanigans. They want the smoke. Apparently the power of smoke and darkness gives them super bowling powers, as it allows them to do incredibly well, even blindfolded.

The Viking Raiders end the game with an obvious foul, yet win the game.

We head to last week where Nikki cut a pretty solid promo.

Before the next match, we go backstage to see the girls acting crazy because that’s what girls do.

Match 4: Nikki Cross vs Billie Kay
The girls scream so more to really hammer home the point that they’re both nuts. Billy hits a knee and Nikki sends her head first into the corner. She does so again and again, and again, making sure to hit all four. Dropkick to Billie Kick from Billie. Ref is distracted, Big Boot from Kay and a cover for 1..2…NOOO!!! Kay kicks Nikki in the corner. Another stomp, and a third. He chokes Nikki up in the corner. Kay flips Nikki back then covers for 1..2..NO!!!! Kay yells at Alexa so Nikki rolls her up. It gets a 1. Kay spins with a right hand and a cover for 1..2…NO!!!! Rest hold from behind. Kay with a back breaker then an elbow drop and a pin for 1..2..NO!!!! Kay fake beats up the ref, throwing a fit, swinging her fists in the air. Kay slaps Nikki around but Nikki shoves her then hits a right. Another right forearm, ducks a move, hits the chest. Nikki rushes, hits a splash in the corner, running bulldog. Nikki heads to the apron, hits a shoulder, dives through with a dropkick then heads to the top rope. She flies and misses!

Kay grabs the head, hooks the leg, and gets a sit out spinebuster type shit and covers for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Billie Kay
The match was average, and at least we have some legit contenders. I know Kay’s supposed to be annoying but damn…she’s annoying.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 5:10

Drew has been expecting Charley, backstage. He thinks everyone should know he backs down from no challenge. He says anyone that wants some Drew, he’ll line em all up and give them all a one-way ticket to Claymore Country.

Rey is “Live via Sattelite” and says although his eye is still recovering, he doesn’t know when or if he can return. It all depends on how quickly he recovers ,but if an infection were to set in, that could end his career. Joe wants to be blunt. Seth threw a retirement ceremony earlier. Is Rey here to do that? Rey says he doesn’t know; he doesn’t know if it’s up to himself anymore. He could be cleared in a few weeks, or he can never be cleared to wrestle again. It’s a question he’s been thinking about, though.

Joe says considering the severity, is there anything Rey would like to address about what Seth did.

Rey does. He says for a Messiah, he carries a lot of negativity with him. Carrying so much could be a true burden for any man. Rey wasn’t chosen by some higher power

In comes Dominic. He says Seth is no messiah, he’s barely a human. Something needs to be done. Someone from his family. Seth tried to end his career, and now he’s out there lying? It’s a bunch of BS and they both know that.

Rey tells Sad Dom to chill. Rey wants to take this time to thank everyone for reaching out. It means the world to him and his family. Here’s Rey’s official statement:

Seth Rollins, damn you for everything you put my family through. My wife Angie, my son Dominic, and my daughter all helplessly watched as you shoved my eye into the steps. They watched blood run down my face. And they saw the man that protects and provides for them suffer.

He says Seth has been going around saying that Rey cried like a baby when the cold metal met his flesh. Rey is a man of forgiveness, but he will never forgive him for what he did.

Damn you, Seth Rollins.

Rey leaves the frame.

Dominic is still there.

He offers scripture to Seth. “An eye for an eye.”

Dominic stands and walks out of frame.

Nia Jax comes to the ring, saying she has been repeatedly attacked by Asuka and Nia. She tells us not to believe the hype. She then mocks their Japanese. She says it’s all smoke and mirrors, just like Asuka’s championship. It was gifted to her because of hormones.

Somehow she is the villain.No, Nia is the victim, and at Backlash, she’ll expose Asuka.

Earlier today, Gronk tries to film a TikTok dance while someone does Gronk’s gardening. As Gronk tries to record, we see that it’s Truth is disguise, and Gronk’s “friend” is wearing a ref shirt. Truth rolls him up and gets a 1…2…3!!!

R- Truth clicks his heels in the air and runs out of the set of the movie Get Out

Match 5: Nia Jax vs Kairi Sane
Nia shoves Kairi down immediately. Kairi stands up and slaps Nia in the face. Right hands to Nia. Nia shoves. She hits a tackle. Nia tosses Kairi around by the hair. Nia lifts, goes for a Fireman’s, but Kairi with a Sleeper! Nia slowly fades. She drops to a knee, another knee, lowers her head, but Nia escapes and Kairi drops a kick on the back. Again. Another. Kiari back hands Nia in the face. Kairi to the top rope. Nia is up. Headbutt. She grabs Sane, but Sane hits a tornado DDT and a cover for 1…NO!!! Sane stomps, heads to the corner, runs, and hits a sliding hit to the face. Sane to the top rope. Nia rolls outside. Sane hits the ropes, slides, Nia catches her and sends Sane face first into the apron. She drags Sane out and shoves her head first into the ring steps.

Nia lifts Sane and sends her into the ring. Nia with a leg drop. Pin for 1..2…3!!!!

Winner: Nia Jax
Nia looked like a monster. This can be a good or a bad thing, depending on how you look at it. Nevermind, it’s a bad thing.
Total Rating: *

Asuka comes out to stare Nia Jax down.

Orton is backstage, and says for the past few months, he has been able to catch the Taker’s doc. He even caught up on Ride Along. The one thing that every WWE Superstar seems to have in common is that they think Ric Flair is the greatest to ever do it. He agrees. Then, last week, he saw Ric Flair, and you know what he said? He said that in his opinion, Orton is the best to ever lace up a pair of boots. And, Edge has said the same. Know what else he’s said? He’s also told Orton he didn’t have a passion – that he was handed everything and just did it for the check. Edge is right. What can he say? He’s right, and Edge can’t stand that for 20 years, he has half-assed it and has accomplished more that anyone. Edge scratched and clawed and pretended to be the heroes from his childhood. All he had to do was be Randy Orton. He just had to wake up, lace his boots, and get in the ring. At Backlash, he will do the same, He’ll prove he’s better than Edge. He set the bait, Edge bit, and now his story book ending will be rewritten by the three most destructive letters in sports entertainment: RKO

Charlotte makes her entrance before the break.

Crap, they’re gonna let her talk.

She tells the crowd that they should know both Io and Rhea, she is rooting for every single one of them. She wants one of them to be the next Rhea or Io. She wants one of them to stand up to the throne so she can make them bow down. She knows a woman who has a history of bowing down – and that’s Asuka. She was the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble winner, has the longest undefeated streak in the history of the WWE, she’s a grand slam champion. It seems like The Empress wants to be like The Queen.

Asuka has heard enough. She lasted longer than I did.

Match 6: Charlotte vs Asuka
Lockup and a go behind by Asuka. Charlotte works the arm and spins Asuka out. Asuka reverses, locks up on the side, drops to the mat, Charlotte rolls out and neaerly gets a pin. She mises a big boot, Asuka misses a roundhouse. She shoves Charlotte. Charlotte shoves back. Kick from Charlotte. Whip to the corner and she hits the corner face first. Charlotte yells loudly, blocks a shove and hits a right. Chop from Charlotte. Another chop. Another. She goes in on the corner. Whip to Asuka is reversed and Asuka goes for a hip attack, misses, and eats a right hand. Charlotte drops a knee to the back of he knee of her left leg. We go picture in picure and it confuses the shit out of me. I miss like 30 seconds before realizing this. Charlotte stomps the leg she tried to break. Another stomp, then she drops an elbow and locks up the leg with her legs. Elbows to the face of Asuka over and over! Asuka kicks her away. Cover from Charlote for 1..NO! Charlotte drags Asuak to the ropes and drops her ass on it. She goes for it again, but Asuka rolls her up for 1..2..NO!! Knees to the back of the leg from Charlotte. Right hand from Asuka. Back elbow from Charlote. She tries to drop another move onto the back of the knee, but Asuka moves. Charlotte shoves her but Asuka fires back. Another, block, another. Block! Another. Asuka with a flurry. Kick to the knee from Charlotte. Asuka screams as she hits the hip attack in the corner. Goes for a bulldog, but Charlotet stops her, so she spins, go behind, GERMAN! Kick to the face. Shining Wizard. Pin for 1…2…NO!!!! Asuka to the top rope. She flies. Charlotte dodges, goes for Natural Selection, but Asuka with an arm bar!!!! Transition to the triangle! Elbows from Charlotte. Charlotte lifts, hooks the legs. She gets Asuka into the Walls of Jericho! Asuka rolls her up for 1..2…N!O!!! Knee bar from Asuka! Asuka turns onto her belly. Charlotte locks up behind her, lifts and hits a deadlift German. Charlotte goes for a big boot, Asuka side steps. She hits a spinning kick to the gut, hits the ropes, Charlotte follows, Asuka hops up and grabs the arm! ARM BAR! Charlotte rolls over, and Asuka gets a triangle! She pulls on the head, and Asuka keeps her shoulder up. Charlotte lifts Asuka again, hits.a sitout powerbomb and a pin for 1..2….NO!!! Charlotte grabs the leg, looking for that Figure Four, but Asuka rolls to the outside.

As she floats to the outside, Asuka’s music hits, and Nia has Asuka’s mask on. She stands at the top of the ramp and removes the mask.

Nia has the green makeup on. Asuka rushes the ramp and the ref calls for the bell.

Winner: Charlotte via countout
This was a great match with the excpetion of a bad idea wrapped in a suplex. The whole Nia Jax thing was annoying, as Asuka doesn’t strike me as a character who would willingly focus on someone else while having a match.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 9:53

Nia runs down the ramp and tramples Asuka.

Lana is backstage. Charley wonders about earlier tonight when MVP called her a leech and she slapped him. Charley wonders whose idea it was for Lana to no longer be outside for Lashley’s matches.

Lana says it wasn’t Bobby, he’d never do that. Lana ponders, and realizes that she can’t go out for Lashley’s match, but she could totally go out for MVPs match.

*insert evil laugh*

Bobby Lashley heads out first then MVP follows.

After Drew comes out, Lana makes her entrance. Drew is all smiles. Lana is sure to make her entrance as per usual, then walks down the ramp like a Stepford Wife.

Match 7: MVP vs Drew McIntyre
Drew attacks in the corner. He hits a hard chop after zipping his singlet down. Lashley distracts outside, MVP thinks he’s got it. Hits him then covers but only gets a 1. Drew hits a lothelsine. Ducks, hits a big boot. Drew to the top rope. He flies off with a clubbing blow then kips up. Drew wants a claymore. He sizes up MVP, but Lashley pulls him out of the ring. Drew flies over the top rope with a flip! He brings MVP back in.

CLAYMORE! Pin for 1..2…3!!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre
What an odd ending. Wasn’t this show live? What was the point of Lana coming out tonight? Anyway, MVP losing isn’t an issue, and Drew got to make a sick ass dive and a solid Claymore. I’m happy with it.
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: 2:51

As soon as the match is over, Lashley runs into the ring and locks in the Full Nelson.

We end the show as such.