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Then.
Now.
Foreva, Foreva, eva! Forever eva?!
As a reminder, the GoFundMe for Larry’s daughters is still active and if you can make a donation, that would be awesome. Thank you so much to everyone who’s done so thus far.
Slow news day when all we got to talk about is The Bella Twins doing a TikTok with another pair of twins that’ll likely be as inconsequential as them.
Cody Rhodes starts RAW, and he’s geared for action.
He wants the mic, first, and inquires on our topic of choice for discussion.
He then tells him hometown that they really don’t have to talk, because there is a large shadow looming over the sold out arena, Brock Lesnar. Brock, when called on in the past, shows up, so let’s cut the talk. Brock should come to the ring and accept the challenge. Get out here, Brock…right now.
We wait a bit, as Cody shows frustration, saying Brock is here, apparently, but this is the ol MO. Brock being fashionably late. If that’s the plan, Cody will be here waiting. 9:00? He’ll be in the ring. 10? He’ll be here. Brock may wait till the very end of the night. Mark his words, he’ll still be waiting.
He’d like to bring up something else. The woman that built. Him is in the front row; his mom. Cody chokes up a bit, and here’s the thing about his mother. The side of his family that trained him, taught how to fight, his mother, Michelle.
He will say this about Brock – their relationship is complex. Only two words can describe them: Hard Times. When Brock shows up here, it will not be Hard Times for him, it’ll be hard times for Brock. God Bless, y’all. Enjoy RAW.
Cody leaves the ring to hug his fam.
The music of Brock hits. Cody readies for the attack, waiting at the bottom of the ramp.
Brock’s music stops. Cody walks up the ramp, sayin that’s coo man, that’s coo.
The music hits again, and again Cody gets ready, this time at the top of the ramp. He marches to the back, we hear a chair shot, then see a chair get tossed out. Brock then tosses Cody like he’s Jazz from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and sends the chair flying after him. Brock is in frame. He grabs the chair and attacks Cody down the ramp. Whip to the apron, and Cody eats it back first. Brock sends Cody into the ring post. F-5 to Cody right in front of his momma.
Brock smiles to Cody’s mom, who looks disappointed. Cody grabs the boot of Brock, tries to get up, but Brock locks in the Kimura. He releases then tosses Cody into the ring. Again with the Kimura.
Brock releases then accepts the challenge and tells Cody he’ll see him at Summerslam.
Did you miss what we just saw? Worried that your short-term memory isn’t what it’s used to be? Or perhaps you’d like to see Cody’s mom’s worried face ONE MORE TIME! Well worry not, because RAW has a recap for YOU!
Matt Riddle is here and he’s ready for action.
Matt Riddle vs Gunther
Lockup! Ginther backs Riddle into the corner then hits a hell of a chop. Another practically makes Riddle’s nipples touch. Riddle hops into a headlock, Gunther sends him behind, sleeper lock from Riddle, and Gunther snapmares him in front. Sleeper applied fro Gunther, Riddle turns this into an arm bar, Gunther stacks Riddle into a pin. He ducks a kick, tries to suplex, Riddle flips out, triangle choke hold onto Gunther! Gunther lifts up and turns, allowing Riddle to head scissors Guntrher to the outside. Running kick to the chest! Riddle runs the steps, and Gunther chops Riddle mid-air! Body slam from Gunther!
We are back and both men are having a chop fest! They go back and forth. Riddle blocks a right, but Gunter swings with another. Riddle hits a pele kick, kips up, forearm in the corner, hits the ropes, another hard one. He tries to suplex out f the corner, but Gunther hits an elbow. They trade hard elbows. Riddle chops, kicks, EXPLODER! Kick to the back by Riddle. He hits the ropes, Gunther catches a kick, forearm, antoher HARD chop from Gunther! Kick from Riddle. Gunther with a chop, kick to the chest, another, another is caught, Gunther punches the knee, chop, GERMAN!!!! Huge clothesline drops Riddle. Co er for 1..2…NO!!! Gunther lifts Riddle, tries for a short arm, but Riddle ducks under, rip cord, knee!!!! Riddle holds on! Another knee! Running knee to the back of the head! Cover for 1..2..NO!!!!
Riddle to the top rope, stepping on Gunther on the way. Riddle with a Floating Bro! KNEES UP!!! Gunther with a dropkick! Powerbomb! Cover! 1..2….3!!!
Winner: Gunther
Sometimes an under ten minute match does everything it needs to do, creating an air of quality that can only be matched by stretching it out. Call it a sprint, an exhibition, or what have you, but this was 8 minutes of hard-hitting ass-kickery. Gaht Damn!
Total Rating: ****
Match Time: 8:09
Gunther grabs a mic and stands on the table. He says tonight is the greatest night of our lives because we were able to see the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. He tells Riddle he is done. Gunther is building a legacy. Drew, if you want to ride on his coattails, be his guest, but like everyone else, he will fall victim to The Ring General.
Nice.
Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez are backstage with Jackie and say that there is not one deciding factor that will make them win, but they are prepared for anything. They wont back down from anyone.
Rhea Ripley questions this. She gets in the face of Raquel, who says no, not even her. Liv doesn’t know how many times they have to tell her that they are just not—–
HEADBUTT TO LIV!!! Rhea and Raquel go at it until a bunch of refs and Jamie Noble come to break them up. Rhea grabs her title after a big kick. Raquel is favoring her knee. Liv asks for a doctor.
The Judgment Day are in the ring.
Rhea Ripley says they are stronger than ever. Anyone with half a brain-cell could tell that they’re better than everyone. Built different. Built tough. No one can stop them. They now dominate RAW. Raquel just found that out. Rhea is the most dominant woman here. Unbeatable. Finn and Damien will both become World Champions. Tomorrow night…Dom will become NXT North American Champion.
Dom tries to cut a promo but cant.
Damien Priest tells the crowd that all the boos wont change the fact that tomorrow night, Dom will win nor will it change that he is guaranteed to be World Champ.
Finn looks annoyed, but Priest reiterates that Finn gets first crack.
Finn Balor says whatever Seth has to say later, he’ll be listening, but just remember that the issues they have will never be over until his arm is raised as the new WHC.
Sami Zayn is out to cut Dom off before he gets too angry in Spanish. Kevin Owens is with him.
Sami wants them to hold on a sec. He feels like he has a pretty good relationship with the fans. He knows what we like, generally speaking, but wants to ask…did they pay to hear Dominik talk or did they pay to see someone shut Dominik up?
They are in luck because later tonight, Dom gone get that ass beat.
Priest says right, sure, they’ve been focused on individual championships, but Priest sees a pair of titles that’ll look good on them. How bout the title are on the line tonight?
Sami says it’s not a bad idea, but he wants Kevin’s opinion on this.
Kevin is handed the mic.
Sami: “Let er rip.”
KO is going to lead with his heart…he doesn’t care if the titles are on the line as long as he gets to Stun Priest and punch Dominik’s stupid face.
Backstage, Raquel is told technically she is cleared but she shouldn’t. She says no, she wants in. Pearce makes it so.
WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Match
Chelsea Green and Sonya Deville vs Raquel Rodriguez and Liv Morgan
Deville and Liv to start, and Sonya trucks Liv immediately, without remorse. Sonya corners Liv, but Liv elbows Chelsea, then kicks Sonya. Enziguri from Liv. Tag to Raquel. She comes in, hits a clothesline, another, snake eyes. Misses a right, but comes back with a left lariat. Fallaway Slam from Raquel! She kicks Green off the apron. Tries to hit the corner, but eats post. Sonya works the left leg, getting a Half Boston Crab.
After what seems like forever, Liv runs in to stop the submission. Raquel crawls slowly for a tag. Gets it. Green is in, too. Liv with a tackle, another, rushes the corner with a back elbow, running high knee, to the top rope, Liv flies with a Codebreaker! ObLIVion! Cover! 1…2….NO!!!! Sonya in with a running knee to Liv! Sonya back to the apron! She sees Raquel trying to get to her apron. Pulls her down. Chop block to Raquel. Green tries to attack Liv, Liv reverses, rollup for 1..2.NO!!! Liv gets shot forward, Sonya gives her a right hand. UNPRETTIHER! Cover! 1…2….NO!!! Green tell Sonya to get to the apron. Chelsea drags Liv over to the corner. Tag to Sonya. Jawbreaker to Green, Liv dodges a knee, rollup for 1..2.NO!!!
Another Unprettiher! Running Knee from Sonya! Cover! 1…2…3!!!!
Winners: Sonya Deville and Chelsea Green
These titles, man….lol.
Total Rating: *
Match Time: 4:47
We get a sit down interview with Seth Rollins. Byron asks him what his plans are for the title. Seth says he has big plans. Summerslam is right around the corner. Finn has earned a place on the list, but so has Priest, Drew McIntyre, Gunther, Kevin…
The interview is interrupted by Finn Balor who says he can take it from here. He kicks Saxton out and takes a seat like he’s Zack Morris. Seth knows why he is here. He wants his rematch. He doesn’t care how many other contenders there are; the line starts with Finn. They both know that the issues are far from over. Do what ya gotta do, talk to Pearce. Make the match.
Seth understands. Finn’s gotta stop living in the past. Time moves forw—
Finn says no, he’s living in chaos. This is where he will take the title. He’ll do what Seth did what he has done to Finn. He will hurt him, laugh in his face, and take his career and alter it. Forever.
Seth will say this once: the title is about more than Finn’s personal vendetta. It’s bigger than the both of them. If Finn just wants to settle a score, they don’t need a match for that, they can do that here and now. Take your shot or get out of my face.
Finn smiles, says cool, then stands.
Finn wlaks away, Seth turns his head, asks if they’re done, and BAM! CHAIRSHOT TO THE DOME!!! Finn stomps Seth out. Asks how it feels. Make the match, say Finn.
Viking Rules Match
The Alpha Academy vs The Viking Raiders
Titus O’Neil is on commentary for some reason. This is essentially a NO DQ match.
There is a small stage next to the ring, set up like the front of a boat.
The match starts with Gable flying over the top rope before the bell rings. Erik sends Ivar onto Otis on the outside and Gabl is there to try and lock in an ankle lock. He is sent flying onto Ivar below. Gable then grabs Erik and sends him into one of the many shields set up on the apron.
Otis goes full D-Von and tells Gable to get the tables! Gable gets one and slides it into the ring. Ivar with abig boot to Otis at the same time Erik sends Gable into the ring. Crossbody from Ivar. All four men in the ring. Ivar springboards into the clutches of Otis, who turns and powerslams Ivar down hard! Nice!
We are back and Erik drives a knee into the face of Gable. Cover for 1..2.NO!! Ivar to the top rope! MOONSAULT ONTO OTIS! But Gable is up next and he hits a moonsault ONTO IVAR! HOLY SHIT GERMAN TO IVAR!!!! Pin for 1..2…NO!!! Erik in to break it up!
Erik and Gable trade right hands. Gable blocks a right, spins, Erik flips him, uppercuts from Gable, duck and a kick from Gable. Gable hits the ropes, huge right hand to the face! T-BONE!!!! Gable is doin work! Gable up in the corner! Headbutt from Gable, barely hits, gets a 1…2.NO!!! Valhalla in to stop the pin! Maxxine on the top rope! Crossbody off the top!!!! Gable has the jacket! It’s time! Gable puts the jacket on her. Big THANK YOU and Valhalla spears maxxine through the table! Lol.
Gable checks on her, Erik and Ivar grab him and send him into some shields, cracking them.
Otis is in the ring, and he is pissed. Ivar turns, spinning kick, but Otis blocks, back fist. Otis rolls forward, hits a clothesin e to Erik, a tackle, BIG SLAM TO IVAR! An overhead toss to Erik! Crowd is firmly into this. Splash in the corner to Ivar. Big headbutt to Erik, right to the throat, Choke lift INTO A POWERBOMB!!! Good God!
CATERPILLAR! Elbow drop to Ivar! Otis ot the top rope! Valhala is there to stop him. Erik and Ivar up. POWERBOMB TO OTIS! Cover! 1…2……3!!
Winners: The Viking Raiders
This had NO RIGHT to be this good, but man there was just a lot of impressive feats here. Initially, I saw nothing redeemable here, considering it was plunder for no reason, but they made it work and gave The Viking Raiders some good photo ops. Lol.
Total Rating: ***
Match Time: 10:19
Shayna Baszler vs Nikki Cross
I blinked…
Winner: Shayna Baszler
Total Rating: NR
Match Time: Like 2 seconds or somn.
Ronda: “And the crowd goes mild.”
She’s in the skybox, and shes been thinking a lot about what Shayna says. What’s easier, front door – indies to developmental to eventually the main event, or the back door with a great MMA career and thrown to the wolves, then made a future hall of famer in less than a year. Just like, MMA, it took her a fraction of the time that it took Shayna. She is the greatest combat sport athlete of all time, and Shayna is just a knock off version of her.
Shayna with a mic, says we all know that when it comes to being in this ring, doing what “we” do, she’s a better Ronda Rousey than Ronda. So waltz your happy ass down to the ring, and lets settle this.
Ronda says no, takes a seat, and tells Shayna to make her.
Shayna go time today. She runs up the steps, but is stopped by security.
Ronda says she’ll do her a favor, like she’s done her entire career, she’ll get her booked on Summerslam. She’;ll see her in Motor City, bitch.
Last week, Riccohet tried to get a match out of Logan, but didn’t quite convince him.
This week, Ricochet says Logan Paul doesn’t get it. He lives in his own little world everyone is a joke compared to him. But these people are not here for IG posts. They’re here for the WWE, and in this world, Logan is the joke. Last week, he showed what happens when he brought the real fight. He tells Logan next week, meet up, he’ll hurt Logan’s ego.
Backstage, Becky Lynch walks the halls, getting ready for MizTV.
We return to The Miz in the middle of the ring. He says he beat Tomasso Ciampa, and he is a winner. He is the biggest star in all of WWE. He was in a golf tournament this weekend. Pat McAfee was there, and he sucks. Speaking of downward spiral, he introduces Becky.
Becky Lynch comes out in some sexy pajamas.
Miz brings up Beckys recent losing ways, and asks if Becky has lost a step.
Becky grabs the chairs, tosses them out of the ring, gets in the face of Miz’s face, saying she has lost a lot of things in the last year, but one thing shes not lost is a step.
She backs Miz into the ropes, tells him she knows how his stupid little show works, so call Trish out before he loses his tiny testicles.
Miz says this was a bit much and yes, he does have surprise guests, so he’ll bring them out.
Out come Zoey Stark and Trish Stratus
Becky starts demanding a rematch with the music still playing. Trish tells her to settle down. She’s acting like a bratty toddler. For a moment, she wondered if it was Rue in the ring. What is Becky’s problem? Why is she so bosessed with Trish? She is not going to fight her. As The Miz pointed out, Trish already fought and beat her.
Zoey says she also won.
Trish wants to tell her a few things. She beat Becky, Becky didn’t win MitB. Trish is done with Becky. They’re movin on. Oh, one more thing…she is going to need a thank you from Becky.
This isn’t about paving the way, it’s about being a self-centered psychopath. Becky let Trish in. Trish attacked Becky at her weakest. Don’t act like Becky owes Trish anything. She did nothing for her. She’s spent more time in this company than Trish has. Trish is not better. If you wanna call yourself the best, fight her, give her the rematch. Or is Trish only good at hiding behind Zoey?
Trish says ok, she’ll fight Becky. But she has some conditions.
First of all, she needs to go through Zoey first. She hasn’t beaten Zoey yet.
She’s also going to need Becky to get on her knees and say thank you, Trish.
Trish drops to her knees to give her an example.
Finally, she’s going to need Becky to tattoo “Thank you, Trish” across her chest.
Becky is cool with all conditions. They drop mics, try to attack, and we get a two-on-one. Zoey holds Becky, Becky back kicks, right to trish, she rips the mask of Trish off. SMACK! Zoey tries to attack, Becky hits her then puts Trish’s mask on and headbutts Zoey. Lol.
Bronson Reed vs Shinsuke Nakamura
Reed just ran throughs Shin to start. He corners Shin in the corner, puts a boot ot the chin, then mocks Shinsuke goin all crazy in the corner. Shin hits the ropes, running kick to the knee. He sends Reed to the ropes, kicks the back of the head. Shin heads to the apron and tries a knee drop to the back of the head. Reed moves! Knee to apron! Reed flies off the apron with a battering ram into Shin!
We are back and Shin gets a Dragon Screw.Cover for 1..2.NO!! He drives some knees into Reed. Shin with a sleeper from behind. Reed escapes, fireman’s, runs with a death valley driver. Cover for 1..2..NO!!! Reed to the top rope! Shin to his feet! Trips him up. Running knee. 2nd rope and he dives with aknee! Cover for 1…2..NO!!! Big pounce from Reed.
CIAMPA IS HERE!!! He causes a DQ.
Winner: Bronson Reed via DQ
Good times, as expected but they better mix it up soon to prevent this from getting stale.
Total Rating: **
Match Time: 7:31
Shinsuke is noticeably frustrated. He looks to Ciampa, unsure of what to do, then finally gives into his anger and kicks Ciampa down hard before leaving, still very upset.
Shinsuke is asked about what he just did. Shin is tired of everyone getting involved in his business. Byron asks about Ciampa, and Shinsuke repeats himself.
While the teams are being announced for the main event, Seth Rollins comes from out of the crowd, into the ring, and dives out onto Finn. Seth chases Finn to the back.
WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens vs The Judgment Day (Damien Priest and Dominik Mysterio)
The bell rings and Sami and KO attack the distracted Priest and Dom. The legal men are Sami and Priest, and Priest corners Sami with some blows to te head. He kicks Sami a few times then sends him into the corner. Tag to Dom. Dom with a right hand to the ribs. Tag to Dom and Seth hits him with a drop toe hold. Owens, off the tag, hits a running senton. KO hits another for fun, then rolls Priest ot Suck It. Right to the head. Stomps from KO. He drags Dom out and hits an elbow drop off the ropes. Cover for 1..NO! Tag to Sami. Right hand to Dom. Sami locks the head, but Dom backs him into the corner. Tag from Priest who yhits a right, kick, uppercut. Tag to Dom. Dom drops an axe on the arm of Sami. Whi ptyo Sami reverse. Back body drop to Dom! Sami sends Dom ot te outside. Into the announce desk. Rolls Dom back in. Rhea stops Sami, distracts with some shit talking, and Dom hits a baseball slide. Priest is here t ochokeslam Sami HARD on the apron!
We are BACK and Priest has Sami cornered with a shoulder. Sami escapes, but Priest locks the front of him to stop the pin. Sami stands, attacks the mid section. Priest boxes the ears. Locks the head, suplex attempt, but Sami lands on his feet, rolls through, tag to KO. KO knocks Dom off the apron, shoots the legs, right hands to Priest. He sends him over the top rope to the outside, another right to Dom. KO leaves the ring, trucks through Dom, through Priest. Running senton! KO into the ring. He heads to the apron, shakes like Eddie and hits FROG SPLASH OFF THE APRON!!!!!
Back in the ring, KO kicks, Stu—NO!!! Priest shoves, he gest posted! KO in the corner. CANNONBALLLLLLL!!!! KO to the top rope! SWANTON BOMB! KNEES WERE UP! Tag to Dom! Dom to the top! Frog Splash! Cover! 1..2….NO!!!!! Sami stops the pin! Priest in. Sami sends him out, Dom sends Sami out. He heads over to KO. Locks the head. KO escpaes, kicks, STUNNO!! Ducks under, Popup Powerbomb! Cover! 1….2…NO!!! Priest is there to stop it. Tag to Sami. Tag to Priest. Sami with a tornado DDT! Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Sami to the apron. Rhea is right there. Sami climbs the buckle. Priest is up, right hand to Sami. Right to KO on the apron. Priest spins with a kick, Sami blocks, Priest hops up for a rana, gets it! Cover! 1..2…NO!!! Priest kicks, spins, Sami blocks. Blind tag from Dom. Sami sends Priest over the top rope. Dropkick to Sami! 619 attempt from Dom! Sami sends him flying over the top rope! KO WITH A CANNONBALL! SAMI FLIES OVER THE TOP ROPE ONTO DOM!
Sami sends Dom into the ring. Rhea shoves KO into the steps!
Sami tells the ref, Priest grabs Sami from behind, hangs him up. Rollup from Dom! 1..2……NO!!! Rhea hops on the apron to argue with the ref.
HERE COMES LIV MORGAN!!! She pulls Rhea down and attacks!!!! Rhea lifts Liv, Liv reverses, and clotheslines her over the barricade!!!
In the ring, Sami hit an Exploder! Priest in! GOOZLE!! KO with a kick! STUNNER! HELLUVA KICK TO DOM! COVER! 1..2…..3!!!!!
Winner: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
Good God, that was a lot of fun. A lot of moing parts, and all of them lead to Summerslam. I love that shit.
Total Rating: ***1/2
Match Time: 15:28
End Show
