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Hi, my name is Tony Acero. You may remember me from such columns as, “The Third Raw’s the Charm” and “Watry Sucks, and So Does This Title.”
Seth Rollins starts us off with RAW, and there are ladders everywhere. Rollins is in the middle of the ring. Rollins says to Burn it Down, and I assume he’s talking about RAW. He says this will be his mantra when he puts his title on the line come TLC, but he also says it will be the theme of the night. He’s not here to call out Ambrose, he’s out here to spit some truth. He brings up Corbin and being on the right side of history. Seth invites Corbin out.
Out comes the Vest in the World.
Corbin says that they can do this in private if Seth wants. Which is dumb, considering he came out to the ring. He says his door is always open. Seth tells him to cut the crap. We don’t want to hear it. Seth says that for the past couple of months, he’s been wrapped up with Ambrose, and he hasn’t been able to tell Corbin how good of a job he is doing. He says that under Corbin’s leadership, RAW has sucked because of him. He exerts power and ends people’s careers. Seth says what he’s been doing is not ok, it’s not right, and it’s wrong.
Corbin says he is allowing Seth to vent. He tells Seth to watch how he speaks to him.
Seth says or what? Corbin has a roster and has no idea what to do with it. He brings up The Revival and the Lucha House Rules match, he wants to know what it means. Explain it to him. He brings up Lashley and Drew, saying it’s going to send ratings through the roof. Every single decision that Corbin has made is to mask his insecurities. Was Braun mean to him? Did he hurt his feelings? So much that he handed the title back to Brock?
Seth says Brock never wants to show up. Where is hE? The last time Brock competed in a match on RAW in 2002. 16 years! He says that Baron has been a failure. From morale, fan support, ratings, all at a low because of Baron.
Corbin tells Seth to save him some time, write his complaints down, and put it on a piece of paper and slide it under his door. Because he doesn’t care what anyone thinks. RAW is his show. He will be in charge for a very long time. If we think it’s bad now, it’s only going to get worse.
Seth says things can’t get any worse around here.
Corbin says that this Sunday, Ambrose is going to beat Seth for the title then Corbin will beat Strowman in a TLC match by forfeit. After he wins, JoJo will stand up and introduce him as the new Permanent GM of RAW. Starting that very next night on RAW, until the day Seth quits, he will put Seth through hell.
Seth wonders why he is waiting till next week, and how bout we start this tonight?
Corbin starts to talk, but Seth cuts him off and says a one-on-one isn’t good enough. Seth brings up that Corbin always wanted to have a TLC match…and they’ve got all they need right here sooooooo Seth vs Corbin in a TLC match right now.
Corbin has no problem making an example out of Seth. But his answer is still no. Corbin has things to do. Paperwork.
Seth keeps calling him coward.
This goads Corbin into making the match….for the IC Title.
Backstage, some chick comes up to Rollins, stumbles her question, that ultimately leads to her asking simply if Seth regrets challenging Corbin.
Seth says he is sick of Corbin, and if he wants to be a leader here, he’s gotta stand up to Corbin. if he considers himself a real champ, he’s gotta take a stance.
Match 1: AOP vs Bobby Roode and Chad Gable
Gable starts off with a dropkick. He gets stomped by Akam, who tags in Razar. Razar trucks Gable then hits some crossfaces. He attacks the back then knocks Roode off the apron. Hard clothesline to Gable. Tag to Drake who covers for 1….NO! Tag back to Razar, who enters with a kick then tags in Akam. Akam in with a whip alongside Razar. Gable kicks Razar in the face and sends Akam to the outside. Double clothesline from Gable and Roode send Razar outside. They then grab Drake and toss him into the ring. They grab Drake and toss him over the top rope onto his tag team.
We return and Razar tags in Drake who comes in to punch Gable in the chest. He kicks a few times then slaps Gable in the mouth. Gable no sells it and Drake tags in Razar. He attacks the back of Gable, then tags in Akam. He drops an elbow onto the head of Gable then rushes the corner, and misses. Tag to Roode. Roode in with a shoulder in the corner. He sends Razar off the apron. Right hand and a chop, again, again, whip to the ropes is reversed but Roode kicks the chest and flies towards the corner. He gets tossed over onto the apron. Right hand. Dives of the top, but Akam catches him and suplexes Roode over his head! Tag to Razar. Knee to the chest of Roode and a cover for 1..2..NO!! Gable is there to stop to the pin. Akam sends Gable into the corner hard. Razar grabs Roode. They hit the Super Collider, but Gable escapes the pin! BIG BOOT! Neckbreaker/powerbomb to Gable!
Tag to Drake. He mocks Roode then covers. 1..2…..NO!!!! Roode reverses this into a crucifix pin! 1…….2………3!!!!
Winners and NEW Tag Team Champions: Robert Roode and Chad Gable
I guess that’s one way to do it…
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **
Total Rating: **
Backstage, Gable and Roode are staring at their titles. Charley wants to know how they managed to get the job done
…Did she not see the match????
Roode says that if they brought the work daily, weekly, they’d stand there with the title. But if someone told them they’d win tonight, Gable probably would have questioned it. Only one word comes to mind to describe the way he feels right now…GLORIOUS.
Back to the ring, and nattie is all smiles. Nice of her to hide her pain so well.
Nattie says she normally walks out with a huge smile on her face….and she did. Ok.
She says that she loves this business, but Ruby doesn’t respect a person or thing. Ruby made this personal when she destroyed Nattie’s dad’s sunglasses. She tried to destroy her dad’s legacy. She brings up how Nattie has been spoon-fed, but Nattie has had to overcome so much. Remember the Montreal Screwjob? Remember when Bret punched the owner of the company in the face? Nattie had to overcome all of that and more to make it to the WWE, adn she’s proud to be a Hart, and proud to represent her family in the WWE. At TLC, Nattie is going to teach Ruby about respect, and Sunday, she will dedicate her match to someone she loves and respects more than anyone in this world; her father. She says she will say his name. Is it taboo?
Nattie starts to cry, and says that she will take every tear and emotion and drive Ruby’s ass through a table, and there will be nothing she can do about it.
Ruby comes out with her homies. She makes mention of Nattie crying again, as if we’ve never seen this before. All Nattie does is feel sorry for herself. She wants to talk about respect? She doesn’t need it. What Nattie needs is a good counselor. She knows no one has the guts to say it to Nattie’s face, but she doesn’t represent the Harts or her family. She disgraces it. Ruby got her a gift.
We get a tall thing, presumably a table, with a black cover on it. Ruby removes the sheet, and it is a table with a photo of The Anvil on it. lol. Ok….
Ruby says this sunday, when she puts Nattie through this table, her and her daddy will be closer than ever.
Selfie Promo from Ziggler who talks about being taken for granted. Ziggler says he ain’t a good guy or a bad guy. He doesn’t want help from Finn. Maybe Drew should have pretended Ziggler was Finn. Maybe he should have remembered that he’s Dolph Ziggler.
Meh.
Charley asks Drew why ask for a rematch tonight considering he has a match at TLC. Drew says nobody stays undefeated forever. Not Andre, Taker, not even Drew McIntyre. Do you think his loss makes him any less dangerous, or lights a fire in him making him more dangerous. Maybe we should ask Finn Balor. We can’t. This Sunday, he will finish Finn off for good. He wants to be clear; when he talks, we all listen. We don’t have to like him, but we will respect him. As for Dolph, he doesn’t care what kind of guy Dolph is. He’s the guy that is about to get his head kicked off.
Nice.
Match 2: Dolph Ziggler vs Drew McIntyre
Ziggler tries to start off hot but Drew drops his ass then hits a few chops. He pulls on the neck of Dolph and hits the chin from behind. He lifts Dolph. Dolph with some rights. Drew with a belly to belly toss. Cover or 1..2..NO!!!!
Back from a break, and Drew has Dolph up in the corner. Dolph tries to fight back but Drew beats down on his back. Drew gets ZIggler on his shoulders then grabs the head. He falls back and drops Ziggler hard on his shoulder, looking a bit like White Noise. Cover for 1…2…NO!!! Dolph noticeably landed a bit awkwardly on his arm, but seems ok. Drew tosses Dolph to the outside. Drew drops down to the outside as well. He grabs the face of Ziggler and lifts him up. Ziggler floats off, lands on his feet, then posts Drew. Ziggler rolls into the ring at the 6 count. Drew up at 9. He rushes int othe ring and barely beats the 10 count. Didn’t we see that last week? Dolph stands first. He rushes forward, but just collapses. Drew is laughing. Ziggler reaches for a rope. Drew mocks him, tells him to grab it and fight for it. He tells Dolph to climb, to not give up. Drew grabs his face and lifts him. Ziggler kicks the leg. ZIG ZAG!!! Pin for 1..2…….NO!!!!
Ziggler up. He wants a Superkick. Drew stands. SU—CLAYMORE KICK!!!! Pin from Drew! 1….2……3!!!!
Winner: Drew McIntyre
What did we gain from this that we didn’t already gain last week?
Match Quality: **
Personal Enjoyment: **1/2
Total Rating: **3/4
Drew isn’t done. He drives Ziggler into the ringpost then sends him to the outside. Drew sends the top step flying then grabs Dolph. Refs come out to stop him. They back him up a bit. Drew backs up, and the refs chill. Drew flies forward with another fucking kick to Dolph’s head!
Match 3: Alicia Fox vs Bayley
Bayley backs Alicia into the corner. Ref breaks it and Alicia shoves Bayley to the corner and slams her a few times. Flying elbow from Bayley. Cover for 1..2.NO!!! Bayley gets Alicia onto the apron. Alicia hangs up Bayley. Runs in. Neckbreaker. Cover for 1..2..NO! Cravat from behind. Alicia drops some hands onto Bayley’s face. Stil holds the cravat. Bayley escapes. Alicia to the corner. Bayley rushes, Alicia flips over, Bayley with a low clothesline. Right hand from Bayley. Another. A few elbows. Side suplex. Bayley rushes the corner with shoulders. High knee from Bayley. She gets Alicia onto the apron. Hangs her up with a Stunner. Bayley fixes her ponytail. The Singh brothers distract on the apron, and Alicia hits a big boot.
This upsets Apollo Crews, who runs down the ramp and lifts one Singh over his head. Sasha with the knees! Jinder shoves the other Singh into Apollo, but Apollo attacks Jinder. Apollo tosses Singh 2 into Jinder then lifts Sasha and tosses her onto Jinder and Singh 2. Lucky Apollo got a hell of a grip there.
In the ring, Bayley gets a Bayley to Belly and pins for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Bayley
No one cares about anyone here except me caring about Sasha…
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *
Ambrose talks to Charley about Seth keeping the spotlight on himself. He calls Seth wild. His ego is making him do all of this. Seth always gotta be the man. Seth is a piece of……
Ambrose says that if after tonight, Seth is still champ, Ambrose takes it.
Charley wants to kno how Ambrose thinks Reigns would react. Ambrose says, “Who cares?”
Charley then asks what Dean thinks about this: a video package of Ambrose’s turn leading up to last week’s promo.
I don’t know what she expects Dean to say, and apparently neither does he, because he says nothing.
We come back to RAW after some commercials, and Elias is in the middle of the ring. Elias brings up a radio interview Lashley did where he said that he’d take every team in San Diego and move them to LA. Elias says that if it were up to San Diego, they wouldn’t let a loser like Lashley in to perform. Elias clamis he’d rather perform at the Gaslamp district, and that’s because everyone here knows what Lashley will find out at TLC on Sunday. Loud reply here. Elias ays he has a match with Lio and Eli has to teach him a lesson.
Match 4: Elias vs Lio Rush (Ref: Heath Slater)
Eli tries to corner Rush. Rush crawls under then hits all of the sides of the ring, goes to slide under Elias, flips off of Elias, then gets pressed up high and dropped. Elias grabs Rush and works the arm. Elias drops Lio down hard, still holding onto the arm. Elias lifts Lio by the arm, Lio rolls down and tries for a rollup, but Elias grabs him then tosses him across the ring. Elias chops Lio in the corner. He whips, Lio bounces off the corner hard, and drops to the outside. Elias drops to the outside. Lashley tries to interfere, and ELias punches him then sends him into the barricade. Lio shoves ELias off the apron, then front flips into him. Elias rolls in. Kick from Lio. Whip asnd Lio hops onto the shoulders of Elias. Elias spins him, and hits a sitout powerbomb. Pin for 1..2…NO!!!
Lashley in to atack Elias. Slater doesn’t call it. He yells at Lashley, telling him to stop. Lashley grabs the hand of Heath and looks him dead in the eyes, stopping Heath from any other words. Lashley hits Elias with a modified spinebuster. Still no bell. Lashley tries to wake Lio up. Lio spots the guitar. He leaves the ring to grab it. He yells at Lashley to use the guitar on Elias. Elias stands, and Lashley smacks him with the guitar.
Lio back in the ring. Heath hesitates, but ultimately counts for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Lio Rush
It’s just not interesting, y’all…
Match Quality: NR
Personal Enjoyment: NR
Total Rating: NR
Next, Rousey and Nia will go face to face.
Did you just join us? Have no ability to scroll up and see what happened earlier tonight? DVR doesn’t exist in your neck of the woods? Well here is Monday Night RAW, to show you what happened an hour ago with Gable and Roode, then remind you what happened between Ruby and Nattie.
So glad they’ve got us on that end.
Backstage, Corbin is talking to Heath. He tells him he did a good job out there. He then asks about Rhyno. Heath looks to go home, but Corbin says he has another match to referee tonight.
Alexa comes to the ring. Nia and Tamina are quick to follow. Nia on the mic says that this Sunday she will be champion at the direct expense of Ronda. She says Ronda is illogical due to UFC, and if she had half a brain left, she’d lay the title at NIa’s feet to avoid the beating this Sunday. Nia realizes Ronda comes from a world where you have to talk trash to hype up a fight. Nia doesn’t talk trash. She is a 6 foot tall, 300 lb Samoan woman. She is Ronda’s worst nightmare. She is the anti-Rousey. Her secret? Her fat ass fist. It broke Becky’s face, and she did it with one punch. She is going to do the same to Ronda, but she won’t stop with one punch. She will do it over and over again until she taps out….wait, what?
Nia brings up Ronda’s accolades. She says if by chance, Ronda avoids the knockout punch and grabs her arm, then pry her hand and….sorry, I zone out then wake the fuck up when Nia says MINE really loudly.
Ronda comes out with a mic, saying she didn’t come here to pose, she came here to fight. Ronda enters the ring. Nia and Tamina leave quickly. They try to corner Ronda by circling the ring.
Ember Moon runs down the ramp and into the ring to even the odds. Sorta….
So if there was a match scheduled between Tamina and Ember, why was she used a surprise equalizer just a minute ago?
Match 5: Tamina vs Ember Moon
Ember tosses Tamina into the bottom rope. Tamina rolls to the outside. Nia tries to corner Ember, but Ronda is there to stop her. Back in the ring, Tamina hits a kick to the throat of Ember. Ember rolls to the outside. Ember gets to her feet at 5, and rolls into the ring. Tamina covers for 1..2..NO! Tamina sends Ember into the corner hard. Tamina rushes with a splash. Tamina covers for 1..2..NO!!! Tamina with a resthold. Ember turns into it. Tamina punches her. Ember kicks Tamina away. Tamina stands awkwardly. Ember shoots her legs up and locks the head, then tosses Tamina with them. Knee and a trip to Tamina with a leg sweep. She rusns up, grabs Tamina, plants her, then pins for 1..2..NO!! Powerslam from Tamina for 1..2….NO!!! Tamina sends Ember into the corner, Ember flies off with knees and drops down, sending Tamina’s face into her knees. Ember heads to the top rope. Nia tries to distract. Ronda pulls her legs out from under her and sends Nia over the barricade.
Tamina tries to attack, but Ember hangs her up on the rope. Eclipse from the top rope! Pin for 1..2…3!!!
Winner: Ember Moon
Lol, Tamina is the worst…
Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Total Rating: *
Charley runs up on Corbin to ask him bout his match tonight. She wonders if this match is an abuse of power. Corbin threatens her with sending her to SD. He says no, he just accepted Seth’s challenge. He’s not at all concerned about Braun showing up on Sunday. Corbin says this may be his first TLC match, but it’s just a taste for Seth. He’ll experience much more when he becomes GM. As for the entire locker room and Universe; all hail Baron Corbin.
BREAKING NEWS: Lashley vs Elias is a ladder match with a guitar as the prize….
Heath Slater comes out to ref the following match and Cole busts a nut as if he didn’t see this coming…
Match 6: Intercontinental Championship Math
TLC Match
Baron Corbin vs Seth Rollins
Rollins with the stomps into the corner to start. He gets kicked by Corbin. Corbin drops an elbow. Another. Whip tothe ropes and Seth kicks off then runs into a knee .Corbin locks up and goesa for a suplex, but Seth knees out of it then shoves Corbin out of the ring with his dick. Rollins leaves the ring and sends Corbin into the apron. Corbi rolls into the ring. Seth tries to springboard, but Corbin hits aright and sends Seth down hard. He demands Heath to leave the ring and grab a ladder. Corbin turns and Seth flies off the top rope.
Back from break, and Corbin has a hair. he smacks Seth down hard with one across the back. Corbin then drops the chair into Seth’s stomach. He holds the chair up in celebration. Baron smaks Seth across the back again. Seth rolls to the outside. Corbin follows and sends him into the barricade. Back in the ring, Corbin sets up a chair in the corner then suplexes him into it. Corbin sets up a chair in the corner. Seth reverses a whip but Corbin slides under the rope, enters the ring, then hits a clothesline to Seth. Corbin sets up a table in the corner. He lifts Seth onto his shoulders, trying to mock Braun, and goes for the table. Seh drops, hits a hard right hand, then gets sent over the top rope to the outside! Corbin grabs the ladder and sets it up under the title. Seth springboards off the ropes onto the ladder. He knocks Corbin down. Seth reaches for the title. Corbin pulls the feet.Seth with a kick. Goes for the stomp, but Corbin shoves him into the ladder. Corbin baseball slides Seth to the outside.
Back yet again from a commercial, and Corbin hits Deep Six onto Seth Rollins. Corbin with a right hand to Seth. Another. A third. More. Over and over. Corbin with a rig—no, it’s blocked! Rollins with some rights of his own. Corbin hits ak nee. Whip is reersed. orbin leaves the ring, comes back in, misses a clothesline, and Seth hits an enziguri. Corbin rushes the ring, but Seth moves! Corbin runs right into a chair! Seth grabs the chair and smacks Corbin a good one on the back. He attacks the arm. More and more beatings over and over, complete with angle changes. Corbin rolls to the outside. Seth hits the ropes, dives, and sends Corbin into the barricade. Corbin still on his feet. Another suicide dive for Seth! Seth hits the ropes a third time, but Corbin stops him. CHOKESLAM INTO A TABLE!!!
Corbin rolls into the ring. He sets the ladder up again. Rollins stirs on the outside. Corbin slowly starts the climb. Seth in with a chair. He smacks Corbin across the back twice. Corbin falls. Seth runs with the chair. Seth hits Heath, you know – the ref that is totally unnecessary for this match? Yeah, him. On the outside, Corbin goes for End of Days, but Rollins spins out of it and sends Corbin into the steps. Seth with a kick. Seth rolls Corbin onto a table. Seth into the ring. He heads to the top rope. Frog Splash onto Corbin through a table!!
Seth heads into the ring. He sets up the ladder. Seth moves quickly! He starts to climb! SLATER SHOVES THE LADDER!!!! Heath runs out of the ring to grab Corbin. He helps Corbin climb the ladder. Corbin gets near the top. He grabs. Seth is there to shove Heath! BUCKLE BOMB to Corbin INTO A TABLE!!! Rollins is slow to get up.
Slater stares at him and asks for forgiveness. Seth with a superkick! Corbin crawls. Stomp from Seth!!! Seth climbs! He getss the title. Seth retains.
Winner: Seth Rollins
Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: **1/2
Total Rating: **1/2
Dean Ambrose comes out to the top of the ramp to stare Seth Rollins down.
End Show
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